Let’s hear it HotWillie, you snaggle-toothed cocksucker, and all you other spineless bags of Übershit! (2767 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.38 on 147 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Jack McCallum (View user info) at 2008-03-03 16:17:13 EST
Fuck you and all the other chickenshit spineless brainless assholes who keep saying I cheated in the last Übermadness. You keep saying the same thing again and again like a conspiracy theorist who has had a breakdown and is now heavily medicated and drooling on himself in a rubber room.
Hey, let's get a rise out of Jack and accuse him of cheating! He'll freak out and I'll feel good about my impotent self because I will have made SOME tiny impact on the world at large! HAHAHA!
Pathetic. Guys like you are FUCKING PATHETIC.
Someone like Method or Apollo goes into an Übermadness post, says, 'Jack cheated,' and sits back and watches all you sheep like you go berserk and take up the call without making any effort to find out if it is true.
You think Bart didn't notice that shit long ago? You don't think he would have taken thirty seconds to check and see if horse87 was an alter and I was screwing with the contest? You assholes need to knock it the fuck off.
If you want Über to completely degenerate into a name calling and flaming forum, keep it up. This is exactly the kind of shit that makes people like me who try to create and entertain and add something to the site get pissed off and think, why bother? Why make ANY effort at all?
Look at your own post history, HotWillie. You have done nine posts since June of 2006. Nine. Two were fuckups in trying to post a picture, two were bullshit Jack cheated in Übermadness, wahhh! posts, and two were pathetic bandwagon posts. The remaining three were just embarrassing little shit squibs fired into the underpants of Übersite.
Don't get me wrong, if I had no job and no life and yearned for a world where I could make money by anonymously posting half-assed insults on sites like Über when I wasn't beating off to QuickTime clips of obese women being slapped until their fat shivers turned into orgasmic tidal waves of flesh threatening to tear their bodies apart, I'd be just like you. But I make an effort to rise above to primal EATFUCKSHITATTACK impulses and try to add THINK and DREAM into the mix.
There was a time when a lot of people put a lot of work into crafting fiction or humor pieces that were fun to read. These posts (including my contributions) weren't the most earth-shattering things ever, but the posts were free and a nice diversion from the working day, a diversion that lasted more than the three seconds it takes to look at the average post these days, although a shitty photoshop of Shlongy's head on the end of someone's dick would probably keep knuckle-dragging douchebags like you entertained for days.
No more. Look at the front page for the last year or so. It's an endless stream of mindless shit, like watching a loop from a video of some chick taking a shit, a vid like that being a big hit here, of course.
I will admit I've done a fair share of shit posts, but I've also balanced it out with stuff that I've hoped was entertaining, perhaps gave someone a few minutes of escape while reading.
Yes, I know Über is a free site. An open site. Anyone can contribute anything. If Über mirrors the world at large, then the world is tilting towards completely and utterly fucked since all you assholes ever want to do is fuck around and not make a single effort toward posting something with a bit of thought behind it. Again, I'm not saying we need high art here, but at least make an effort, for christ's sake.
If you fucking asswipe morons like HotWillie keep dogging people like me we'll all be gone, and then what will you do? Wallow in the shit-flinging pit that uber will have become, or consider it a job well done and move on to fuck with another site, exercising the only power you have in life by anonymously fucking with other people?
This is worse than all the accusations that Caulaincourt is gay. He may have {quote} tasted penis {unquote} from time to time, just as I farted around with alters in my early days as every Überuser has done, but I outgrew it. It became boring. I'm as much an Übermadness cheater as Caulaincourt is gay, so enough is enough, HotWillie. Either cough up proof that I cheated in Übermadness, or find another dead horse to beat. And if you can do that, try to do it alone, because every insult you've ever thrown at me has been taken word-for-word from someone else on Über. Cat-herder, Jacqueline, heard it all before man, its old news. Christ, you can't even show the slightest flicker of originality when telling someone to fuck off.
Or better yet, step away from the computer, run a few laps around the block, and see if you can't melt off those man tits you pasty, bloated pity magnet. If you are as lame in reality as you are on the net you don't just have a limp, you're one of those legless guys slapping the pavement as you motorvate around on a crotch-dampened skateboard. Don't fucking make me a target for the rage that comes from a lifetime of underachievement.
'Flees yon grim spite, sole hater!'
User Reviews
Submitted by JustAnotherStudent (user info) at 2008-03-07 21:21:36 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This post ended up with some of the best reviews I have ever seen. That prayer? PRICELESS.
Don't take away the flame wars and photoshop- maybe I am the LCD, but that shit's far better than some of the pretentious, lengthy pieces of "literature" some of you people post.
And you're a bitch. If you didn't cheat, you didn't cheat, and just shut the hell up about it. You're just making it look more and more like you did it.
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2008-03-07 14:26:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-03-05 12:54:18 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
The next time I'm in SF- which may be this summer - you think nrduncan will come out and have a few cocktails with Shlongy and Mrs. Shlongy?
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-03-05 11:45:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Shlongy: Not getting it, ever. Do I have to spell it out? The anagram, man, the anagram!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-03-05 11:15:47 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I enjoy nrduncan's writings much better than yours.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-03-05 11:14:41 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Say hi to "nrduncan" for me, OK chief?
BUAHAUAHuahaauahahahahahahahahahahah tool haqbahabbeuaha ahe
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2008-03-05 06:17:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2008-03-05 00:43:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
This calls for the kind of review from the old days:
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Slim Shady
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-03-04 18:15:07 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Vegas 2
Submitted by Fungah (user info) at 2008-03-04 16:50:47 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Vegas
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-03-04 15:46:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-03-03 16:53:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2008-03-03 16:51:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Jack,
there are some people who appreciate your work, and your comments are justified. Keep up your shit.
I have my own reasons for not posting here anymore,so I just throw my creative stuff towards HAU and other places.
You've made many of my working days a little bit better through the relief of a little boredom, and anyone who can do that deserves a fucking drink in my book.
---
HAU?
I would love to gets me some more hot hot JoeyG action.
===============================
Joey is liked by everyone. You people could take a lesson from him.
Robbie(ice)Berg: HAU--> http://horrorauthorsunited.webs.com/
Don't try to slam anything over there. The writers have brains. . .
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-03-04 13:24:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
good grief catman
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-03-04 13:04:42 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Hahahaha Jack used alters like "every other Uberuser"...
Not this one, Fucko.
Quit crying, ya goddamn UberMadness cheating crybaby.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2008-03-04 09:35:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
HEY THERE'S NOTHING LITTLE ABOUT THIS CLIQUE GODDAMNIT, NOT WITH MY PENIS AT THE WHEEL
Submitted by TonyDanza (user info) at 2008-03-04 09:21:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-03-03 16:45:39 CST (#)
Ranking: 2
There are other usernames of famous people around, and I don't think the point is to trick anyone into believing Berty is actually Mr T or redskies is Brian Blessed or Thorns is Tony Danza.
------------------------
Who's Thorns?
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-03-04 09:04:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
anonymously posting half-assed insults on sites like Über when I wasn't beating off to QuickTime clips of obese women being slapped until their fat shivers turned into orgasmic tidal waves of flesh threatening to tear their bodies apart
awesome.
HotWillie is slime.
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2008-03-04 08:51:05 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Touch a nerve did he Jack?
FOR FUCKS SAKE... you protest too much.
If you hadn't have cheated in the first place, this wouldn't be an issue.
Jeez.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-03-04 08:47:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Flees yon grim spite, sole hater!
Yo, feel springtime heat losers!
Submitted by woolfe (user info) at 2008-03-04 04:22:18 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
kaos-king called - he wants his post back.
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2008-03-04 02:36:27 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Ain't this already a namecalling and flaming forum?
Yay for rising to the bait.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-03-03 23:57:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
yeah, as if jack would have a girlfriend.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-03-03 23:54:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-03-03 20:44:11 CST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Falafel (user info) at 2008-03-03 20:52:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Jack's girlfriend: Baby, come to bed
Jack: In a minute... someone on the internet is wrong.
--
HAHAHAHAHA! That pretty funny.
hhehehehe
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-03-03 23:15:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-03-03 23:10:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"Wahhhh, my pussy hurts"
--
2 below, Captain Oblivious.
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-03-03 23:10:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"Wahhhh, my pussy hurts"
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2008-03-03 22:02:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
McCallum cheated?
wtf?
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-03-03 21:44:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Flees yon grim spite, sole hater!
Yo, feel springtime heat losers!
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-03-03 21:44:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Falafel (user info) at 2008-03-03 20:52:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Jack's girlfriend: Baby, come to bed
Jack: In a minute... someone on the internet is wrong.
--
HAHAHAHAHA! That pretty funny.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2008-03-03 21:39:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Why do you lower yourself to their level, Jack? This is what a bully feeds on.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-03-03 21:16:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/115339
Submitted by Falafel (user info) at 2008-03-03 20:52:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Jack's girlfriend: Baby, come to bed
Jack: In a minute... someone on the internet is wrong.
Submitted by Fartman (user info) at 2008-03-03 20:22:25 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
"The lady doth protest too much, methinks."
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-03-03 19:40:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-03-03 19:31:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"If you fucking asswipe morons like HotWillie keep dogging people like me we'll all be gone, and then what will you do? Wallow in the shit-flinging pit that uber will have become..."
hahaha
Yes, Jack. Uber will be nothing without you. Thank you for the truth.
Let us pray.
*heads bow*
My uberlord,
You are the sun, lighting our way across the internet that we may live and prosper.
For this we thank you.
You are the moon, guiding us through ignorant darkness with your brilliance.
For this we praise you.
Thank you, uberlord, for your beautifully told stories which sustain us through terrible times.
Bless us, oh uberlord, and give us the wisdom and the courage to understand your prose, that we might be enriched.
Feed us, oh uberlord, with your bountious literary skills, that we may never hunger.
Thank you, uberlord, for all that you provide.
Bless our hits to the nourishment and strength of our usernames, that one day we might climb the mva ladder beneath you to stroke the hem of your garment and bask in its brilliance.
Yea, though we walk through the valley of the shit-flinging pit, we shall fear no alters.
For thou art with us. And thou hast plenty.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow us all the days of our lives,
and we shall dwell in the house of the uberlord forever.
In Jacky's name,
Amen
---
HAH!
That is simply fantastic.
Submitted by SkullBiter (user info) at 2008-03-03 19:36:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
LET US PRAY...
omg..
that is...
AWESOME.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-03-03 19:31:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"If you fucking asswipe morons like HotWillie keep dogging people like me we'll all be gone, and then what will you do? Wallow in the shit-flinging pit that uber will have become..."
hahaha
Yes, Jack. Uber will be nothing without you. Thank you for the truth.
Let us pray.
*heads bow*
My uberlord,
You are the sun, lighting our way across the internet that we may live and prosper.
For this we thank you.
You are the moon, guiding us through ignorant darkness with your brilliance.
For this we praise you.
Thank you, uberlord, for your beautifully told stories which sustain us through terrible times.
Bless us, oh uberlord, and give us the wisdom and the courage to understand your prose, that we might be enriched.
Feed us, oh uberlord, with your bountious literary skills, that we may never hunger.
Thank you, uberlord, for all that you provide.
Bless our hits to the nourishment and strength of our usernames, that one day we might climb the mva ladder beneath you to stroke the hem of your garment and bask in its brilliance.
Yea, though we walk through the valley of the shit-flinging pit, we shall fear no alters.
For thou art with us. And thou hast plenty.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow us all the days of our lives,
and we shall dwell in the house of the uberlord forever.
In Jacky's name,
Amen
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-03-03 19:28:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
On a side note, I'm sad that particular line was summarily ignored - I thought it was rather amusing.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-03-03 19:25:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
So you CAN be funny.
Who knew?
|
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|
V
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2008-03-03 19:21:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-03-03 16:30:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm as much an Übermadness cheater as Caulaincourt is gay, so enough is enough, HotWillie.
---
hmmm...
So what exactly is the literary equivalent to having a penis in your mouth?
---
everything you write, rob.
BAM. STILL GOT IT.
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2008-03-03 19:20:22 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-03-03 19:18:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-03-03 17:57:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
***IRREFUTABLE EVIDENCE OF JACK CHEATING*** http://www.ubersite.com/m/214822 ***IRREFUTABLE EVIDENCE OF JACK CHEATING***
------------------------------------
http://www.ubersite.com/m/115279#2662072
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-03-03 19:17:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
And "Jack cheated. - apollo" anagrams to "Cackled Ha At Lojope".
I don't care if it is 60-IQ funny, anagrams are fun.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-03-03 19:14:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
2.)rob berg, i sent you an email. i need you to draw something for me.
---
Well so you did!
I will reply presently.
Submitted by F_N_S (user info) at 2008-03-03 19:13:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-03-03 18:18:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by PepsiCoke (user info) at 2008-03-03 18:04:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-03-03 16:53:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
(1) Over-analytical chicks like you are fuckin killjoys in bed, you know that?
(2) As for the taste of genitalia I'll have to take your word for on former as I only have experience of the latter, but I find it surprising that you would ever shut the fuck up long enough to allow a dick in your mouth.
--------------------
I don't know why you think I'm a woman.
--
Well you fucking bitch like one, for starters.
----------
that's the pot calling the kettle black, go scrape the sand out of your vagina jack
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2008-03-03 19:13:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
word on the street is that you cheated. since this is the internet and because i have no idea what you cheated at, i'll give you a pass and decide not to care at all.
Submitted by PepsiCoke (user info) at 2008-03-03 19:08:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-03-03 18:56:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by PepsiCoke (user info) at 2008-03-03 18:51:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
If I read your next story and said, "Hey, Jack! I loved this! But here's some things I think you could improve" would you be open to what I had to say?
--
Sure. A guy named Thecaes used to do that ALL the time on my stories and I valued his observations. And if you said, "This sucks," and cited specifics, that would work too. But to start advising me which authors I should read? Fuck the fuck off.
---------------------------
I've cited some specifics, but I think I've critiqued big picture things more than details. And I never advised you on which authors to read. I observed your style and guessed that you were influenced by some of the more boring contemporary authors as opposed to authors that I see as having a lot of merit. But even if I was advising you what authors to read, is that really so offensive? Are you closed to new recommendations?
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-03-03 19:06:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
1.)this was fucking gay.
2.)rob berg, i sent you an email. i need you to draw something for me.
3.)this is still fucking gay.
Submitted by PepsiCoke (user info) at 2008-03-03 19:03:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"No. All of your (and your girlfriend gina's) crabby moaning boils down to 'Why aren't you more in touch with your inner artiste?' "
--------------
I've actually never really said anything like that but I'm sure you've misinterpreted everything I've written.
I think if you were actually as good a writer as you see yourself, then you would want to be an artist in addition to being a brainless storyteller. Is there something wrong with trying to be artistic? Is there really that strong of a stigma against expression? What do you have against art?
Oh, and I don't actually speak much French, so I probably wouldn't ever say "artiste". But I do see what you're trying to do there.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-03-03 19:01:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-03-03 17:57:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
***IRREFUTABLE EVIDENCE OF JACK CHEATING*** http://www.ubersite.com/m/214822 ***IRREFUTABLE EVIDENCE OF JACK CHEATING***
---
heh.
Just can't stay away, huh?
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-03-03 18:57:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-03-03 18:51:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
stop cheating then, jack.
--
Will do, Agent Smith.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-03-03 18:56:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Jack cheated. - apollo"
---
Now THAT shit is funny.
Truly, a master.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-03-03 18:56:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by PepsiCoke (user info) at 2008-03-03 18:51:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
If I read your next story and said, "Hey, Jack! I loved this! But here's some things I think you could improve" would you be open to what I had to say?
--
Sure. A guy named Thecaes used to do that ALL the time on my stories and I valued his observations. And if you said, "This sucks," and cited specifics, that would work too. But to start advising me which authors I should read? Fuck the fuck off.
Submitted by PepsiCoke (user info) at 2008-03-03 18:53:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Anyone who doesn't get annoyed by something like that after working their ass off for weeks in a contest is a better man than me by God."
That's what I was reading. I realize that you posted more than one entry in Ubermadness. But still, "The Very Best Thing Of All" is pretty weak for a few days of work, in my opinion.
Submitted by PepsiCoke (user info) at 2008-03-03 18:51:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-03-03 18:34:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Interesting...
You ever going to answer any of my questions?
--
No. All of your (and your girlfriend gina's) crabby moaning boils down to 'Why aren't you more in touch with your inner artiste?'
FUCK THAT. I am not an artist. I do not write literature. I tell stories. Gross stories. Stories with twists. Stories with normal people in weird situations. The rare humorous story. THAT'S IT. STICK YOUR ART AND ANALYSES AND THEMES AND SUBTEXTS UP YOUR ARTSY ASS! THEY ARE JUST STORIES!!!
----------------------------
Are you still harping on this alter accusation bullshit? I don't know who "gina" is. I wonder how you would feel if similar accusations were directed at you. Oh, wait. You would throw a tantrum and write posts about it. Yes, that's what you would probably do.
Now you claim that you're just a humble storyteller who tells meaningless tales because it makes you feel good and all that shit. If your Ubersite persona was one of "humble storyteller" then you wouldn't have guys like me riding your ass. You are not content to just accept your praise. You have to go out of your way and talk about how much better your shit is than the photoshopped cock posts. That's where you reveal yourself to be Asshole Jack, which is what drives me to try to knock you down a peg. I strongly believe that the photoshopped cocks have a lot more value than your writing.
If I read your next story and said, "Hey, Jack! I loved this! But here's some things I think you could improve" would you be open to what I had to say?
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-03-03 18:51:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
stop cheating then, jack.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-03-03 18:47:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by PepsiCoke (user info) at 2008-03-03 18:39:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Did you really spend a lot of time on "The Very Best Thing Of All"? Because, SURPRISE, I thought it was terrible. If you were going for realistic then you failed. Casey pretty much comes off as being Jesus and those mean ol' jocks are some pretty shallow and unrealistic villains. It's a good guys vs. bad guys story that's been told a million times before, with the standard feel-good ending where the good guy wags his finger at the bad guys and makes them realize they were bad guys.
If you were going for some sort of Lifetime Movie Original fantasy, then you succeeded to some degree. You would just need to find a part for Meredith Baxter-Birney.
--
Look at the timeline, idiot. The contest lasted weeks, I had just a few days to work on that story, so do the math.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-03-03 18:41:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-03-03 18:26:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-03-03 18:19:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
You don't see me getting all pissy-pants because you think I have an alter. I mean who really gives a shit about such things...
oh.
right.
YOU.
--
It's not the alter accusation, rob, I've admitted I had alters, everyone has. It's the cheating accusation. Anyone who doesn't get annoyed by something like that after working their ass off for weeks in a contest is a better man than me by God.
...wait...
---
Wow.
You really are bothered by the accusation of a guy who goes by the moniker "HotWillie" on a degenerate little website in buttfuck cyberville.
Dude, when he isn't bothering you he amuses himself by rating the opposite of Bubba.
I love the guy - he makes me smile more than most around here.
The fact you worked your ass off isn't lost on the people who wander over to your little realm of the interweb and starts chewing up your little tales. You get HEAPS of praise and your little e-dick is constantly sucked by all kinds of people around here with very good cause. You are an incredibly talented writer - why in the fuck would the obviously pig tail pulling of some of the kids around here bother you in the least?
Oh, and again: I have never had an alter. I think they are pointless - I waste enough time around here just being me.
Submitted by PepsiCoke (user info) at 2008-03-03 18:39:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Did you really spend a lot of time on "The Very Best Thing Of All"? Because, SURPRISE, I thought it was terrible. If you were going for realistic then you failed. Casey pretty much comes off as being Jesus and those mean ol' jocks are some pretty shallow and unrealistic villains. It's a good guys vs. bad guys story that's been told a million times before, with the standard feel-good ending where the good guy wags his finger at the bad guys and makes them realize they were bad guys.
If you were going for some sort of Lifetime Movie Original fantasy, then you succeeded to some degree. You would just need to find a part for Meredith Baxter-Birney.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-03-03 18:37:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-03-03 18:35:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
"Flees yon grim spite, sole hater" anagrams to "Refereeing A Homely Slit's Post"
Just sayin'.
--
Thanks man. Always wanted the notoriety of shitting my pants at work. Now I'm there.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-03-03 18:36:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-03-03 18:33:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh come on, you're a better man than THAT, Jack. While your pole is a little aged for my preferences, I read the majority of your fiction and I give you credit when it's do and you can't fucking say otherwise. I wouldn't want to be accused of cheating either, but if I were going to respond, I'd do it in a timelier manner, like say, in any of the many months between ubermadness and this post. Then, this probably isn't your first post on the subject, either. You COULD have just made a little self-deprecating joke in response, but instead you've kind of convinced me you really do take this all very seriously. Shame, that. Hope it doesn't mean you won't stop posting fiction.
--
Timely? Baby, this has been going on for a fucking year.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/115261#2663129 --today...
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-03-03 18:35:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
"Flees yon grim spite, sole hater" anagrams to "Refereeing A Homely Slit's Post"
Just sayin'.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-03-03 18:34:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
*due, OBVIOUSLY
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-03-03 18:34:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by PepsiCoke (user info) at 2008-03-03 18:30:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-03-03 18:18:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by PepsiCoke (user info) at 2008-03-03 18:04:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't know why you think I'm a woman.
--
Well you fucking bitch like one, for starters.
-----------------
Interesting...
You ever going to answer any of my questions?
--
No. All of your (and your girlfriend gina's) crabby moaning boils down to 'Why aren't you more in touch with your inner artiste?'
FUCK THAT. I am not an artist. I do not write literature. I tell stories. Gross stories. Stories with twists. Stories with normal people in weird situations. The rare humorous story. THAT'S IT. STICK YOUR ART AND ANALYSES AND THEMES AND SUBTEXTS UP YOUR ARTSY ASS! THEY ARE JUST STORIES!!!
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-03-03 18:33:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh come on, you're a better man than THAT, Jack. While your pole is a little aged for my preferences, I read the majority of your fiction and I give you credit when it's do and you can't fucking say otherwise. I wouldn't want to be accused of cheating either, but if I were going to respond, I'd do it in a timelier manner, like say, in any of the many months between ubermadness and this post. Then, this probably isn't your first post on the subject, either. You COULD have just made a little self-deprecating joke in response, but instead you've kind of convinced me you really do take this all very seriously. Shame, that. Hope it doesn't mean you won't stop posting fiction.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-03-03 18:31:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by SkullBiter (user info) at 2008-03-03 18:28:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Flees yon grim spite, sole hater
Is that an anagram of SOMETHING YOU TRICKY LITTLE WENCH?
--
Flees yon grim spite, sole hater!
Main rant saga!!
Submitted by PepsiCoke (user info) at 2008-03-03 18:30:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-03-03 18:18:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by PepsiCoke (user info) at 2008-03-03 18:04:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't know why you think I'm a woman.
--
Well you fucking bitch like one, for starters.
-----------------
Interesting...
You ever going to answer any of my questions?
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2008-03-03 18:29:08 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by SkullBiter (user info) at 2008-03-03 18:28:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Flees yon grim spite, sole hater
Is that an anagram of SOMETHING YOU TRICKY LITTLE WENCH?
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-03-03 18:27:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-03-03 18:19:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-03-03 18:18:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't know why you think I'm a woman.
--
Well you fucking bitch like one, for starters.
===
SERIOUSLY?
(Did you read this post of yours?)
--
Why are you in here trying to smoke MY uberpole? I'm not part of your little clique.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-03-03 18:26:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-03-03 18:19:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
You don't see me getting all pissy-pants because you think I have an alter. I mean who really gives a shit about such things...
oh.
right.
YOU.
--
It's not the alter accusation, rob, I've admitted I had alters, everyone has. It's the cheating accusation. Anyone who doesn't get annoyed by something like that after working their ass off for weeks in a contest is a better man than me by God.
...wait...
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-03-03 18:24:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Top of most heated in two hours. Holy fuck. How unexpected!
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-03-03 18:22:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
LISHOWNED!
|
|
|
V
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-03-03 18:19:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-03-03 18:18:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't know why you think I'm a woman.
--
Well you fucking bitch like one, for starters.
===
SERIOUSLY?
(Did you read this post of yours?)
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-03-03 18:19:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-03-03 17:52:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Linus (user info) at 2008-03-03 17:50:20 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Jack cheated in Übermadness, wahhh!
--
rob, you already commented below. What's the deal?
---
See Jack, unlike you - I have no need for alters. I don't have to cheat in Ubermadness or flog my book.
I see no value in having one - after all I am a big giant whore.
You don't see me getting all pissy-pants because you think I have an alter. I mean who really gives a shit about such things...
oh.
right.
YOU.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-03-03 18:19:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
'Flees yon grim spite, sole hater!'
'Flees yon grim spite, sole hater!'
'Flees yon grim spite, sole hater!'
'Flees yon grim spite, sole hater!'
'Flees yon grim spite, sole hater!'
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-03-03 18:18:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by PepsiCoke (user info) at 2008-03-03 18:04:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-03-03 16:53:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
(1) Over-analytical chicks like you are fuckin killjoys in bed, you know that?
(2) As for the taste of genitalia I'll have to take your word for on former as I only have experience of the latter, but I find it surprising that you would ever shut the fuck up long enough to allow a dick in your mouth.
--------------------
I don't know why you think I'm a woman.
--
Well you fucking bitch like one, for starters.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2008-03-03 18:13:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm still pretty sure you cheated in ubermadness, why else would I have not won?
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-03-03 18:08:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I would just like to leave my +1 and leave if you don't mind.
*Yozz runs for the door*
Submitted by PepsiCoke (user info) at 2008-03-03 18:04:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-03-03 16:53:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
(1) Over-analytical chicks like you are fuckin killjoys in bed, you know that?
(2) As for the taste of genitalia I'll have to take your word for on former as I only have experience of the latter, but I find it surprising that you would ever shut the fuck up long enough to allow a dick in your mouth.
--------------------
I don't know why you think I'm a woman. But I know what you mean about over-analytical girls in bed, what with their fucking tape measures, etc.
You insult posts that are nothing but photoshops of cocks and people's faces. All I'm asking for is the reason that you think your posts are so much better. I honestly don't see it. I would much rather look at funny photoshops than read very mediocre fiction. I've attacked your shit but you refuse to defend it, even though you seem to feel strongly about it.
Back on the topic of penis, the only one I've ever had in my mouth is my own and that was a long time ago. It tasted just fine. My back won't let me suck my own dick anymore, so now I just do it metaphorically.
You do realize that you could post the same exact stories on this website without the arrogant persona? How about trying to be a nice guy? How about accepting criticism? I bet the same people who like your stories will still come and read them.
I LOVE YOU
Submitted by SkullBiter (user info) at 2008-03-03 17:58:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-03-03 17:50:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-03-03 17:45:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The point is you have alters and you use them to cheat in ubermadness.
--
Prove it asswipe. Prove it or shut your fucking hole.
It you can't prove it everyone on uber will know you are completely full of shit.
Were there alters in Ubermadness? Yes there were. Apollo voted as himself and as an alter, an admitted alter. So did a few other guys. I did not.
Like I said, when that shitstorm erupted Bart was observing. He would have known if horse87 or... wisher (I think it was wisher) were my alters as some people were saying. It's one thing to have an alter acting like a random asshole (hint hint, HW), it would be another to use one like that.
==
The fucking point is. Jack if you won fair and square what the fuck are you bitching about? Cause people SAID you were and can't prove it? Fuck.
It sounds almost identical when someones trying to cover up something.
Or hide that fact that they're gay.
If you've had alters, its ok come out of the closet.
Other than that... Good god man. Take a midol and chill.
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2008-03-03 17:57:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-03-03 17:25:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2008-03-03 17:18:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-03-03 16:56:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2008-03-03 16:45:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
6. I still win.
--
Are you REALLY that much of a fucking idiot or do you just play one on Uber?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Look at the above post, and tell me you're serious. Go ahead and try. I can wait.
I can only assume this is from advanced stages of the greenhouse effect. Seeing as you're in that glass house and all.
(I'm still winning, and I made you look like a tard, although you were a big help. Double win for steak!)
--
I've just been advised to let Champ 'win' this one.
No hard feelings, man. Keep on swingin, li'l lbrother.
http://www.possibledream.org/page14.html
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
...you've got to be kidding me.
From double win, to outright lose. You win this time, Jack.
This was the whole war, as it was all I was prepared for, but with this sudden and unexpected loss, my people demand full scale destruction of your country, which when applied to the intertubes, can mean only one thing. It's out of my hands now. You'll see what's coming soon enough.
You are on the way to destruction.
You have no chance to survive make your time.
Ha Ha Ha Ha ....
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-03-03 17:57:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
***IRREFUTABLE EVIDENCE OF JACK CHEATING*** http://www.ubersite.com/m/214822 ***IRREFUTABLE EVIDENCE OF JACK CHEATING***
Submitted by Linus (user info) at 2008-03-03 17:55:33 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-03-03 17:52:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Linus (user info) at 2008-03-03 17:50:20 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Jack cheated in Übermadness, wahhh!
--
rob, you already commented below. What's the deal?
--
http://www.ubersite.com/m/115276
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-03-03 17:54:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Jesus Jack
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-03-03 17:52:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Linus (user info) at 2008-03-03 17:50:20 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Jack cheated in Übermadness, wahhh!
--
rob, you already commented below. What's the deal?
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2008-03-03 17:51:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I loved that Heston alter.
Don't bother talking to me. It's my nap time.
Submitted by Linus (user info) at 2008-03-03 17:50:20 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Jack cheated in Übermadness, wahhh!
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-03-03 17:50:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-03-03 17:45:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The point is you have alters and you use them to cheat in ubermadness.
--
Prove it asswipe. Prove it or shut your fucking hole.
It you can't prove it everyone on uber will know you are completely full of shit.
Were there alters in Ubermadness? Yes there were. Apollo voted as himself and as an alter, an admitted alter. So did a few other guys. I did not.
Like I said, when that shitstorm erupted Bart was observing. He would have known if horse87 or... wisher (I think it was wisher) were my alters as some people were saying. It's one thing to have an alter acting like a random asshole (hint hint, HW), it would be another to use one like that.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-03-03 17:45:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You're the one claiming you haven't had alters since the stone age, and yet you do have them, even now.
There are other usernames of famous people around, and I don't think the point is to trick anyone into believing Berty is actually Mr T or redskies is Brian Blessed or Thorns is Tony Danza.
Stupid analogy.
The point is you have alters and you use them to cheat in ubermadness.
Keep you eye on the ball, Chester.
I fuck with Hurty (as an example) and he gives it back but doesn't feel the need to actually make a dumb ass post like this in anger.
The only people who do that are old guys like you and Bubba who take the site far too seriously, probably because you feel the icy hand of death tickling your butternuts and you realize your life is near it's worthless end and your accomplishments are all connected to ubersite.
I'm sorry, little man.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-03-03 17:40:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-03-03 17:21:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You even used one on YOUR VERY FIRST JACK MCCALLUM POST to shill your self-published book, right?
--
Yeah, so?
People post fiction, artwork, music, all kinds of stuff here. I posted a link to the book. So what?
Here's a tip. People who don't want to get noticed online don't go online.
You're so stupid you probably get rug burns jerking off.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-03-03 17:34:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-03-03 17:21:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
--
Uh, dude, when you make an alter named Charlton Heston, you don't do it thinking people are gonna go liek omFg it's HIM the Moses guy from TV at Christmas its really him the gun guy that the HUGE fat guy from Michigan hates in that DVD we rented by misteaK ajkagytdgaeuisdh!!~!
Jesus you're an idiot.
Is it hard to find idiots even more idiotic than yourself to hang out with? You must be doing exactly that, it's the only thing that explains the bizarre sense you have that you are even mildly amusing.
Was it a demographical fluke? Did you go looking for a room that you could afford on $4.20 and hour and land in Tard Central? 'In the land of the blind the one-eyed man is king' and all that?
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-03-03 17:31:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-03-03 17:16:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-03-03 17:00:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-03-03 16:57:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-03-03 16:51:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
This motherfucka is gettin' TOASTY.
--
'Flees yon grim spite, sole hater!'
---
um... I was referring to the heat this post is creating.
Are you actually menstruating?
--
Dude... main rant saga.
---
WHAT THE FRIG ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-03-03 17:25:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2008-03-03 17:18:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-03-03 16:56:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2008-03-03 16:45:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
6. I still win.
--
Are you REALLY that much of a fucking idiot or do you just play one on Uber?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Look at the above post, and tell me you're serious. Go ahead and try. I can wait.
I can only assume this is from advanced stages of the greenhouse effect. Seeing as you're in that glass house and all.
(I'm still winning, and I made you look like a tard, although you were a big help. Double win for steak!)
--
I've just been advised to let Champ 'win' this one.
No hard feelings, man. Keep on swingin, li'l lbrother.
http://www.possibledream.org/page14.html
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-03-03 17:21:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
YEAH DON'T ENGAGE
Birds gotta fly, fish gotta swim, horse gotta run.
Jack's got an 18 year menstrual cycle.
He's like one of those cicadas.
btw, Jack, you made a new alter as recently as last year, didn't you? The one that was outed? What was the name of that one?
Who's to say you don't have more? You know, for a quick shot of self esteem when one of your lunchtime quickies falls off the old MRR?
You even used one on YOUR VERY FIRST JACK MCCALLUM POST to shill your self-published book, right?
And your little antagonistic personality popped out, fully formed, to take on anyone who gave you less than stellar reviews. Which means you probably had other user names before this one, too.
Don't take it out on me because you're a middle aged hack with no wife, no friends, and nothing to live for save the little list on the left.
There will always be someone to take the piss, jacky-boy. Because you will always slurp it up.
I DRINK YOUR MILKSHAKE
That's all for now.
But somebody give me shout when Bubba shows up.
That should be funny.
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2008-03-03 17:18:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-03-03 16:56:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2008-03-03 16:45:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
6. I still win.
--
Are you REALLY that much of a fucking idiot or do you just play one on Uber?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Look at the above post, and tell me you're serious. Go ahead and try. I can wait.
I can only assume this is from advanced stages of the greenhouse effect. Seeing as you're in that glass house and all.
(I'm still winning, and I made you look like a tard, although you were a big help. Double win for steak!)
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-03-03 17:18:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Uh-oh, another management type walking by my desk...
*stare fixedly at screen*
*look concerned*
*add a slight frown*
That's all it takes to make them think you're working hard around here.
No wonder the banking industry is in the shitter.
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2008-03-03 17:17:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
like the Captain said below: Don't engage
it doesn't get any simpler than that
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-03-03 17:16:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-03-03 17:00:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-03-03 16:57:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-03-03 16:51:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
This motherfucka is gettin' TOASTY.
--
'Flees yon grim spite, sole hater!'
---
um... I was referring to the heat this post is creating.
Are you actually menstruating?
--
Dude... main rant saga.
Submitted by SkullBiter (user info) at 2008-03-03 17:15:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Creepy_guy (user info) at 2008-03-03 17:13:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Why is this such a big deal? Its a fucking website. Time to step away from the computer for a while.
--
If I had a nickel for everyone review that said something along this line.
I would never be bored at work.
Cause I wouldnt have too.
Submitted by Creepy_guy (user info) at 2008-03-03 17:13:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Why is this such a big deal? Its a fucking website. Time to step away from the computer for a while.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2008-03-03 17:03:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Bosh Below
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2008-03-03 17:03:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hey my posts aren't mindless, you take that back!
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-03-03 17:00:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-03-03 16:57:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-03-03 16:51:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
This motherfucka is gettin' TOASTY.
--
'Flees yon grim spite, sole hater!'
---
um... I was referring to the heat this post is creating.
Are you actually menstruating?
Submitted by SkullBiter (user info) at 2008-03-03 16:58:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
(2) As for the taste of genitalia I'll have to take your word for on former as I only have experience of the latter, but I find it surprising that you would ever shut the fuck up long enough to allow a dick in your mouth.
==
Well thats that.
IM camping on this post cause im laughing.
that review is sooooooooooooo funny.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-03-03 16:57:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-03-03 16:51:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
This motherfucka is gettin' TOASTY.
--
'Flees yon grim spite, sole hater!'
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-03-03 16:56:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2008-03-03 16:45:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
6. I still win.
--
Are you REALLY that much of a fucking idiot or do you just play one on Uber?
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-03-03 16:53:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by PepsiCoke (user info) at 2008-03-03 16:41:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
There was a time when a lot of people put a lot of work into crafting fiction or humor pieces that were fun to read. These posts (including my contributions) weren't the most earth-shattering things ever, but the posts were free and a nice diversion from the working day, a diversion that lasted more than the three seconds it takes to look at the average post these days, although a shitty photoshop of Shlongy's head on the end of someone's dick would probably keep knuckle-dragging douchebags like you entertained for days.
--------------------------
Please explain why your fiction is better than a photoshop of Shlongy's head on the end of a cock. Shlongy's head on the end of a cock sounds pretty funny to me. Please explain why I am wrong and you are right. If you can do that then I might be able to see where the fuck you are coming from. You admit that your fiction is just mindless diversion. What makes your brainless crap so much better than the brainless crap that doesn't bore me to death? "THINK and DREAM"? What do you mean by that? Please explain.
The only reason people keep bugging you about cheating is because it gets such a hilarious reaction out of you.
BTW, have you ever tasted penis? The flavor is actually a lot more mild than vagina.
--
(1) Over-analytical chicks like you are fuckin killjoys in bed, you know that?
(2) As for the taste of genitalia I'll have to take your word for on former as I only have experience of the latter, but I find it surprising that you would ever shut the fuck up long enough to allow a dick in your mouth.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-03-03 16:53:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2008-03-03 16:51:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Jack,
there are some people who appreciate your work, and your comments are justified. Keep up your shit.
I have my own reasons for not posting here anymore,so I just throw my creative stuff towards HAU and other places.
You've made many of my working days a little bit better through the relief of a little boredom, and anyone who can do that deserves a fucking drink in my book.
---
HAU?
I would love to gets me some more hot hot JoeyG action.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-03-03 16:52:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
This is stupid and not in a good way either. You men and your egos are so predictable.
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2008-03-03 16:51:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Jack,
there are some people who appreciate your work, and your comments are justified. Keep up your shit.
I have my own reasons for not posting here anymore,so I just throw my creative stuff towards HAU and other places.
You've made many of my working days a little bit better through the relief of a little boredom, and anyone who can do that deserves a fucking drink in my book.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-03-03 16:51:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
This motherfucka is gettin' TOASTY.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-03-03 16:49:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.cafepress.com/cp/moredetails.aspx?showBleed=false&ProductNo=182093167&colorNo=6&pr=F
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-03-03 16:48:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-03-03 16:39:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
B of A building? I have some complaints to make about one of your franchise locations in Georgia.
--
B of A? Not me. See, once again HotWillie has shown NO ORIGINAL THOUGHT and claimed the erroneous assumptions of others as his own.
He's a tard. An insipid, uninspired tard.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2008-03-03 16:46:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ubersite is failing for the same reason American Idol is failing; the lowest common denominator is in the driver's seat. You don't get better ratings because you're talented. You don't get more views for being creative. The general public could give a shit less for Pavaratti; they want Willy Hung. Show some boobies, or generate some uberdrama, and you get noticed. Talent? Creativity? Not so much in demand.
I've always seen you as one of the best writers around here; even out of the oldnick crowd. You could use your talents to do some awesome real-life things; hell you probably already have. My advice would be to stop wasting your time, and let the shitheads have run of the place. Unless Bart really cracks down, they will anyway.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-03-03 16:46:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-03-03 16:39:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-03-03 16:36:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
...
I saw that in the theater when it was first released...
-----
So did I. Awesome. I read that it was done with a latex head filled with Jello made with water and white glue, shot with a shotgun. I wanted to be the FX guy for a long time after that.
--
I heard it was actual meat, blood and guts from a slaughterhouse in there. I understand the strapped the shotgun to the back of the chair.
What a cool fuckin job that would be.
"How was your day, honey?"
"Oh, I blew up twenty-seven rubber heads full of meat with a Remington 12 gauge. How 'bout you?"
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2008-03-03 16:45:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-03-03 16:39:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2008-03-03 16:35:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Nobody uses Quicktime anymore.
--
Not only are you retarded, but you've been biting at HotWillie's heels to try and dislodge him from my asshole and take what you see as your rightful place in my colon for some time now, so your lame opinion hardly counts.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1. Who is HotWillie?
2. Do you want a tissue?
3. The tissue is for your pussy tears. Waaaaaaaaa.
4. Nobody uses quicktime anymore.
5. You clearly lack any real concept of time if "for some time now" is how you'd describe any timelength of interaction we've had.
6. I still win.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-03-03 16:45:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Actually, Jack, I don't read your posts.
But I'll give that link a look see.
THANKS
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-03-03 16:43:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I AM MCCALLUM
Submitted by PepsiCoke (user info) at 2008-03-03 16:41:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
There was a time when a lot of people put a lot of work into crafting fiction or humor pieces that were fun to read. These posts (including my contributions) weren't the most earth-shattering things ever, but the posts were free and a nice diversion from the working day, a diversion that lasted more than the three seconds it takes to look at the average post these days, although a shitty photoshop of Shlongy's head on the end of someone's dick would probably keep knuckle-dragging douchebags like you entertained for days.
--------------------------
Please explain why your fiction is better than a photoshop of Shlongy's head on the end of a cock. Shlongy's head on the end of a cock sounds pretty funny to me. Please explain why I am wrong and you are right. If you can do that then I might be able to see where the fuck you are coming from. You admit that your fiction is just mindless diversion. What makes your brainless crap so much better than the brainless crap that doesn't bore me to death? "THINK and DREAM"? What do you mean by that? Please explain.
The only reason people keep bugging you about cheating is because it gets such a hilarious reaction out of you.
BTW, have you ever tasted penis? The flavor is actually a lot more mild than vagina.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-03-03 16:41:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-03-03 16:35:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Jack is hilarious.
Look for news of a pudgy loner picking off slant-eyed schoolchildren from the top of the B of A building in downtown San Francisco.
"Well, he seemed like an asshole, but I never thought he'd do something like this."
--
I have already made that joke about myself. Many times. Most recently, here.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/114511
ARE YOU INCAPABLE OF EVEN ONE SINGLE ORIGINAL INSULT HOTWILLIE???
JUST ONE???
PATHETIC!!!
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-03-03 16:41:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I don't think I ever gave any thought to whether there was merit to the rumors that hw might really be your alter until now.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-03-03 16:40:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Still, don't get me wrong - watching you rage against the imaginary machine is tremendously amusing.
This is quality stuff.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-03-03 16:39:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2008-03-03 16:35:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Nobody uses Quicktime anymore.
--
Not only are you retarded, but you've been biting at HotWillie's heels to try and dislodge him from my asshole and take what you see as your rightful place in my colon for some time now, so your lame opinion hardly counts.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-03-03 16:39:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
B of A building? I have some complaints to make about one of your franchise locations in Georgia.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-03-03 16:39:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-03-03 16:36:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
...
I saw that in the theater when it was first released...
-----
So did I. Awesome. I read that it was done with a latex head filled with Jello made with water and white glue, shot with a shotgun. I wanted to be the FX guy for a long time after that.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-03-03 16:38:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
So, what you are saying is HotWillie is your alter?... Cool.. I guess... :)
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-03-03 16:38:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-03-03 16:32:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-03-03 16:28:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Holy soppy vagina Batman!
--
That's pretty funny coming from you, rob.
No offense man, but come on. You're one of the weepiest douchebags on Uber.
---
Now, now Jackie boy - you allude to that very phenomenon in your little tirade.
Just because some of the bigger retards around here say that I am 'weepy' - doesn't mean that I am. Glass houses n' all.
In fact, I rarely have anything but positive/amusing things to say about Uber - only our mutual friend Caulaincourt and that iddqd fellow have ever inspired anything more than a smile.
Nothing, and I mean NOTHING I have ever posted or commented has been anything close to the stupidity displayed in this post.
Sorry Jack, you are on your own in the cry baby department.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2008-03-03 16:36:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I wonder why it took him this long to suddenly crack? Slightly odd.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-03-03 16:36:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-03-03 16:32:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Calm down, Jack.
http://www.ratpackcycles.com/calmdownjack.gif
--
I saw that in the theater when it was first released. After that guy's head exploded two dignified older ladies ran up the aisle with their hands over their mouths. I think they puked. What the fuck two dignified older ladies were doing at a screening of Scanners in the first place is anyone's guess. Maybe they were two dignified older rug-munchers trying to avoid their usual dignified older lady crowd. Who knows...
Submitted by SkullBiter (user info) at 2008-03-03 16:35:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HellRazer (user info) at 2008-03-03 16:33:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yes, the internet was a lot more fun before AOL let every fucking moron in the world think that his opinion mattered.
====
Shiiiit...
They dont?
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2008-03-03 16:35:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-03-03 15:28:49 CST (#)
Ranking: 2
Plus I have very well defined pecs and abs, as you should know from your careful examination of my posts.
---------------
A sole picture of questionable origin is proof of your physique?
Okay. Post ANOTHER picture, with the timestamp within the past 24 hours, and prove it. No KISS mask this time though. :)
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-03-03 16:35:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Jack is hilarious.
Look for news of a pudgy loner picking off slant-eyed schoolchildren from the top of the B of A building in downtown San Francisco.
"Well, he seemed like an asshole, but I never thought he'd do something like this."
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2008-03-03 16:35:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"Don't get me wrong, if I had no job and no life and yearned for a world where I could make money by anonymously posting half-assed insults on sites like Über when I wasn't beating off to QuickTime clips of obese women being slapped until their fat shivers turned into orgasmic tidal waves of flesh threatening to tear their bodies apart, I'd be just like you"
Exactly how do we get paid for doing this? Because if we're getting paid, somebody owes me some money, as I've never seen a cent come from this place, or any place like it.
Also, pay close attention Jack. I'll do this slowly so you don't miss it.
Nobody uses Quicktime anymore.
You claim someone is using quicktime to view pornography.
Your claim, based on the fact that nobody uses quicktime anymore, is thusly false.
Now that we have established that you are being facetious, your entire argument is thusly regarded as false.
Your main point in this article, was that you did not cheat in Ubermadness.
Your entire article is treated as flasehood, therefore the opposite of what was stated must be true.
You're a fucking cheater, and now you're bitching and playing the victim to the outcome of your own crime.
You lose.
All because you couldn't help but include the completely unrelated and innocent of this slight, Quicktime.
I win.
Submitted by HellRazer (user info) at 2008-03-03 16:33:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yes, the internet was a lot more fun before AOL let every fucking moron in the world think that his opinion mattered.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-03-03 16:32:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-03-03 16:28:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Holy soppy vagina Batman!
--
That's pretty funny coming from you, rob.
No offense man, but come on. You're one of the weepiest douchebags on Uber.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-03-03 16:32:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Calm down, Jack.
http://www.ratpackcycles.com/calmdownjack.gif
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2008-03-03 16:31:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-03-03 15:30:51 CST (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm as much an Übermadness cheater as Caulaincourt is gay, so enough is enough, HotWillie.
---
hmmm...
So what exactly is the literary cheating equivalent to having a penis in your mouth?
------------------
Onomatopeia :)
Submitted by SkullBiter (user info) at 2008-03-03 16:31:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I just laughed.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-03-03 16:31:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Ah... now you fall back on the ratings thing. NIce.
Tell me, genius, where did I mention ratings in the above post?
Once again you try to divert attention from your own cataclysmic failings.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2008-03-03 16:31:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-03-03 15:26:48 CST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2008-03-03 16:24:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Jack...you've been around just as long as I have, a bit longer actually I believe...best thing to do is just ignore them and they'll leave you alone. They were looking to get a rise out of you and it worked.
--
Bullshit. HotWillie's pissed off and taking it out on me. His mom probably told him to clean up his room or something like that.
============
More likely MeTHod's mom made HIM towel her off after last night's rendevous, for a change, since Quint wasn't around to do it.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-03-03 16:30:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm as much an Übermadness cheater as Caulaincourt is gay, so enough is enough, HotWillie.
---
hmmm...
So what exactly is the literary cheating equivalent to having a penis in your mouth?
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-03-03 16:28:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Plus I have very well defined pecs and abs, as you should know from your careful examination of my posts.
Are you threatening to quit uber if I don't give you +2s?
That's like extortion, except the rating itself has no actual value, so maybe it's just a hissy fit.
Regardless, I found this entertaining and completely deserving of a +2.
Especially the parts about somebody drooling all over themselves and having a breakdown.
Good work, Jack.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-03-03 16:28:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Holy soppy vagina Batman!
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-03-03 16:26:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2008-03-03 16:24:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Jack...you've been around just as long as I have, a bit longer actually I believe...best thing to do is just ignore them and they'll leave you alone. They were looking to get a rise out of you and it worked.
--
Bullshit. HotWillie's pissed off and taking it out on me. His mom probably told him to clean up his room or something like that.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-03-03 16:25:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-03-03 16:19:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I <3 U H87
--
0 points for originality.
Still pushing the alter bullshit.
Thanks for confirming my argument.
btw, does your harelip allow you to pronounce the letter S as an S or does it sound like a wet F that's coming out of your nose? Just curious. Get back to me, Thanks.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2008-03-03 16:24:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Jack...you've been around just as long as I have, a bit longer actually I believe...best thing to do is just ignore them and they'll leave you alone. They were looking to get a rise out of you and it worked.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-03-03 16:22:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ok then.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-03-03 16:21:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
What the hell dude, lay off the roids
Submitted by HotWill