I attempt to give a guitar lesson. (785 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 1.46 on 44 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by ilikesteak (View user info) at 2008-03-04 14:14:04 EST
That's right. I put up a (crappy) guitar lesson, as per the request of orphy.
It's time to give everyone fair warning. Make sure that you're sitting with something to catch you in case you *swoon* mid-video.
Now to completely disregard the video and talk about the background.
A few things you'll see:
Compy. The hell beast upon which the bulk of my posts were made. Even on video you can feel it seething with raw evil evil.
A bowl of unknown content. It's ice cream. The best kind too; Macinaw Island Fudge. It's how I maintain my athletic figture.
A ream of paper, which I use to make sacrafices to the printer from hell.
The computer chair without arms. Arms get in the way of guitar playing, and everything in general.
The greatest shirt ever. It's the outer shirt with the rolled up sleeves. You can't see it in it's full glory, but it still causes wetness.
And finally, Lappy. The latest and greatest in the evil dominion of technology. Not quite the level of evil as compy, but it requires far less duct tape, and it's portable if you move it. It even has a metal lid, which I have lead myself to believe that it's bullet proof. I got it for one reason, and one reason only: The clit mouse in the middle of the keyboard, because I hate touchpads.
The link to the video (because the optional attachment box has betrayed me for the last time):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FdpN6PPtYm4
User Reviews
Submitted by HellRazer (user info) at 2008-03-10 16:08:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2008-03-05 23:23:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
If you wanted "Smoke on the water" you could have asked. Then again, I'm going to overcomplicate it for no reason if you do ask.
It'd also help if your hands weren't a hook and hook operated scissors.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I lol'd my ass off at this.
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2008-03-10 15:52:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-03-10 13:50:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Mr Steak, Guitar God (and still only but a child),
I am trying to find a good free tab for Blackbird, Beatles. They seem to vary immensly.
Can you play it? The timing looks awful confusing.
Thank you Mr Steak, Yours with calloused finger tips, Pheeley.
PS Next installment please?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I can't play it yet, but I'll learn it all quick like, then teach it.
I'll try to get the next one in under a week.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-03-10 13:50:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Mr Steak, Guitar God (and still only but a child),
I am trying to find a good free tab for Blackbird, Beatles. They seem to vary immensly.
Can you play it? The timing looks awful confusing.
Thank you Mr Steak, Yours with calloused finger tips, Pheeley.
PS Next installment please?
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2008-03-07 22:25:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2008-03-07 14:29:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
just a suggestion. don't mean to condescend. i just started playing blues recently.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Well then, as long as it wasn't condescending, it's ok.
Would you like me to try teaching anything for you? I take suggestions. I'm not awful at it, despite my neurotic tendency about my voice. I've got no idea how well you play, so I don't know what you'd like to play, or how good you are already.
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2008-03-07 14:29:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
just a suggestion. don't mean to condescend. i just started playing blues recently.
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2008-03-07 14:15:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2008-03-07 13:44:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
that wasn't a full E, you friendless hippy. Try some sevenths if you like the blues sound.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
That was a full E chord. Last time I checked, you don't have to play all the strings to make a chord. A friendless hippie, such as yourself, should know this by now.
I know how to get "the blues sound" well enough that I don't need your condescending advice.
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2008-03-07 13:44:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
that wasn't a full E, you friendless hippy. Try some sevenths if you like the blues sound.
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2008-03-07 12:49:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm glad someone explained it to her.
I was going to, but I got caught up watching the BME pain olympics again, occasionally switching to glory hole sites, and the occasional donkey punch video.
I think I may have to invent the Donkey Hole.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-03-07 11:43:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Sounds good! Let me know when you do.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-03-07 11:10:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Never fear, boats on the hard standing, but I will no doubt do something utterly moronic in the next 5 minuets to balance out the ego. It's always the way.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-03-07 11:05:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
A looker hey.....*swaggers under the rapid growth of ego*
------------------------------------------
Hah. Just don't let that pretty big head of yours sink the boat!
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-03-07 11:03:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good lord.
*reaches for the brandy*
Well, it's always good to know these things I guess. Thank you for *ahem* broadening my horrizens.
A looker hey.....*swaggers under the rapid growth of ego*
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-03-07 10:58:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
In case that one doesn't work:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glory_hole_%28sexual%29
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-03-07 10:57:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Okay LittleMonster. But, since I've seen your camwhore and know that you're a looker, it would make me blush profusely to explain to you. Here are the Wiki links if you REALLY wanna know:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glory_hole_(sexual)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Donkey_punch
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-03-07 10:30:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I would rather someone gave me the chance to regret it though.
A bit of infomation here over here please sweetheart!
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-03-07 10:22:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I proberbly going to regret asking, but what is a glory hole? Or a donkey punch for that matter?
==================================================================
I think you will regret asking that darling
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-03-07 10:13:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2008-03-07 09:58:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-03-07 08:32:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Dude, an Ass is a kind of mule/donkey......you have Donkey holes over there?
Well fuck.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ass = arse.
We just don't say it the way you do.
We have glory holes, and the donkey punch, but as far as I know, no Donkey Holes. Yet.
_____
Sorry, I was just trying to be funny about the 'Arse' thing.
I proberbly going to regret asking, but what is a glory hole? Or a donkey punch for that matter?
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2008-03-07 09:58:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-03-07 08:32:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Dude, an Ass is a kind of mule/donkey......you have Donkey holes over there?
Well fuck.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ass = arse.
We just don't say it the way you do.
We have glory holes, and the donkey punch, but as far as I know, no Donkey Holes. Yet.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-03-07 08:32:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Dude, an Ass is a kind of mule/donkey......you have Donkey holes over there?
Well fuck.
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2008-03-06 21:41:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-03-06 05:52:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2008-03-05 14:34:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-03-05 10:29:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ok, I 2+ because I like the concept.
I'm not sure the recording did you justice, it made it sound a tad out of tune. I do not however belive this was your fault.
I am distraught that your voice is not deeper. I always thought it would be deeper in my head. *fantasy dies*.
Last of all. You have stranglers hands.
They do not match the deep voice and everythingI had pictured. Plus your a lot younger than I thought. This may go in your favour.
So here's to all the gays and virgins.....
Thanks for nothing.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'm pretty sure that I was out of tune, but not enough to really notice. I gave it a quick tube before I started, and stopped once I thought I was close enough. I blame the microphone.
It's the microphone that's making my voice sound slightly higher than it is. The camera sits on the microphone, and it's really only meant to record with just enough quality that you can hear what's being said, rather than how it's being said.
Now I need to ask what you pictured me as. The only other way I've ever had my hands described as was "spidery." Strangler is an interesting first. Get back to me on this.
______________
I'm not sure how to discribe how I pictured you. A bit like a lone ranger, cowboy kinda guy. You know, the one that drinks double shots of Tequila at the bar and doesn't pull a face after. Strong silent type. But weirdly I thought you were British for some reason. I have no idea why I painted this picture of you in my head, but I did.
Now your the guy drinking Budwiser from the bottle with his friends he still has from college at the back of the bar whilst playing pool. The slightly qieter one of the group, with a decent sense of humour and tends to be the guy to bail first when the other start behaving like arseholes.
That's proberbly wrong too. *sigh*
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'd like to start with the following statement: "How dare you accuse me of drinking such swill."
You seem to be pretty close on this one. I'm not going to get all specific about it, but you're generally right.
Except for one little thing.
Over here, people are assholes, not arseholes.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2008-03-06 18:47:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-03-06 09:57:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hope you are gonna do some more!!
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-03-06 05:52:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2008-03-05 14:34:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-03-05 10:29:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ok, I 2+ because I like the concept.
I'm not sure the recording did you justice, it made it sound a tad out of tune. I do not however belive this was your fault.
I am distraught that your voice is not deeper. I always thought it would be deeper in my head. *fantasy dies*.
Last of all. You have stranglers hands.
They do not match the deep voice and everythingI had pictured. Plus your a lot younger than I thought. This may go in your favour.
So here's to all the gays and virgins.....
Thanks for nothing.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'm pretty sure that I was out of tune, but not enough to really notice. I gave it a quick tube before I started, and stopped once I thought I was close enough. I blame the microphone.
It's the microphone that's making my voice sound slightly higher than it is. The camera sits on the microphone, and it's really only meant to record with just enough quality that you can hear what's being said, rather than how it's being said.
Now I need to ask what you pictured me as. The only other way I've ever had my hands described as was "spidery." Strangler is an interesting first. Get back to me on this.
______________
I'm not sure how to discribe how I pictured you. A bit like a lone ranger, cowboy kinda guy. You know, the one that drinks double shots of Tequila at the bar and doesn't pull a face after. Strong silent type. But weirdly I thought you were British for some reason. I have no idea why I painted this picture of you in my head, but I did.
Now your the guy drinking Budwiser from the bottle with his friends he still has from college at the back of the bar whilst playing pool. The slightly qieter one of the group, with a decent sense of humour and tends to be the guy to bail first when the other start behaving like arseholes.
That's proberbly wrong too. *sigh*
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2008-03-06 01:43:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2008-03-06 01:01:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i see that shlongy being an asshole isn't exclusive to ubersite; that's refreshing.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It's also not suprising that he's wrong.
The sixth string is the root note, played open, and since it's in standard tuning, it's an E. I don't know much music theory past the basics (enough to read some sheet music, but not enough to play from it), but when I use some, even on the most basic level, it's right.
:)
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2008-03-06 01:24:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2008-03-06 00:51:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
haha nice first review on youtube...
it's good to see you're actually skilled in something
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Anything you'd like me to try teaching?
Also, I don't give ghola lessons, just guitar lessons.
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2008-03-06 01:01:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i see that shlongy being an asshole isn't exclusive to ubersite; that's refreshing.
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2008-03-06 00:51:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
haha nice first review on youtube...
it's good to see you're actually skilled in something
Submitted by Socialist_Joe (user info) at 2008-03-06 00:33:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
my friend had a guitar like that
we hit people with it
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2008-03-05 23:23:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HellRazer (user info) at 2008-03-05 20:47:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2008-03-04 14:27:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Can't get to YouTube at work, so I'm giving you a pre-emptive +2 until I have time to watch this from home or a cafe.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Same here, but if I watch that vid and STILL can't play 'Smoke on the water'; I'm gonna be back to -2 the shit out of this bitch.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If you wanted "Smoke on the water" you could have asked. Then again, I'm going to overcomplicate it for no reason if you do ask.
It'd also help if your hands weren't a hook and hook operated scissors.
Submitted by HellRazer (user info) at 2008-03-05 20:47:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2008-03-04 14:27:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Can't get to YouTube at work, so I'm giving you a pre-emptive +2 until I have time to watch this from home or a cafe.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Same here, but if I watch that vid and STILL can't play 'Smoke on the water'; I'm gonna be back to -2 the shit out of this bitch.
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2008-03-05 14:34:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-03-05 10:29:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ok, I 2+ because I like the concept.
I'm not sure the recording did you justice, it made it sound a tad out of tune. I do not however belive this was your fault.
I am distraught that your voice is not deeper. I always thought it would be deeper in my head. *fantasy dies*.
Last of all. You have stranglers hands.
They do not match the deep voice and everythingI had pictured. Plus your a lot younger than I thought. This may go in your favour.
So here's to all the gays and virgins.....
Thanks for nothing.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'm pretty sure that I was out of tune, but not enough to really notice. I gave it a quick tube before I started, and stopped once I thought I was close enough. I blame the microphone.
It's the microphone that's making my voice sound slightly higher than it is. The camera sits on the microphone, and it's really only meant to record with just enough quality that you can hear what's being said, rather than how it's being said.
Now I need to ask what you pictured me as. The only other way I've ever had my hands described as was "spidery." Strangler is an interesting first. Get back to me on this.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-03-05 10:29:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ok, I 2+ because I like the concept.
I'm not sure the recording did you justice, it made it sound a tad out of tune. I do not however belive this was your fault.
I am distraught that your voice is not deeper. I always thought it would be deeper in my head. *fantasy dies*.
Last of all. You have stranglers hands.
They do not match the deep voice and everythingI had pictured. Plus your a lot younger than I thought. This may go in your favour.
So here's to all the gays and virgins.....
Thanks for nothing.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2008-03-04 22:54:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I used to give guitar lessons on uber.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/61038
Submitted by dithered (user info) at 2008-03-04 18:36:46 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I can't believe you call that a lesson.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-03-04 17:20:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
bubba/sadie below
Submitted by jimboruckus (user info) at 2008-03-04 17:16:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Fungah (user info) at 2008-03-04 16:35:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
What's an Uzbekistan?
Submitted by moneyshotforyou (user info) at 2008-03-04 14:53:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I am on dial up in Uzbekistan but I trust that a man that likes steak and plays guitar will post something worthy. From a man who enjoys eggs and spends most days in constant fear of charlie......here is your +2.
Submitted by rorrim (user info) at 2008-03-04 14:45:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Voicewhore!
Submitted by Linus (user info) at 2008-03-04 14:34:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I laughed at your voice.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2008-03-04 14:27:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Can't get to YouTube at work, so I'm giving you a pre-emptive +2 until I have time to watch this from home or a cafe.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-03-04 14:20:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That is cool, I am gonna do it now! Cute shrug at the end, by the way. When I nail it, I will post on youtube but for your eyes only. Cool!!
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-03-04 14:18:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
OMG, did i catch sight of a dirt 'stache at the end there?!
also, steak voicewhore.
interesting. you have an everyman voice.
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2008-03-04 14:15:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
One of the most appropriate uses of the category.