The first weirdness arrived on Sat. (1624 hits)
Category: NewsRating: 1.65 on 46 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Monkeyswithguns (View user info) at 2008-03-05 10:59:42 EST
http://www.ubersite.com/m/115024
So Captain Thorns was the first to get the ball rolling on what I hope becomes a larger project. To this end, I've begun posting "Free for all Mail Calls" in major cities around America on Craigslist. I've already recieved 2 mail-art postcards, one from a Charles Balletto of Queens, NY, who is an excellent artist, and the other from a Chuck from Colorado Springs, CO, who does his own special brand of watercolor portraits.
You can look them up by their names if you like, and see their stuff, but I'm not about to go pasting links here. Yes, I'm that lazy.
Anyway, On to what CT sent me:
A cassete tape of hypnotism to improve memory. Good job there, I could certainly use it, I just need to find a cassete player now.
Also included was a small round package of dental floss. I'm not sure what you're trying to tell me with this. True, I've had 4 abcess teeth from impacted molars (VERY painful), and I just had my last wisdom tooth pulled last Monday. Sure my teeth are stained yellow from a decade of smoke and coffee (which gave me kidney stones, also VERY painful), but do you really get the impression that I need dental floss so bad that I need it delivered from Illinois?
Either way you answer it, it's true, since I never floss and can always use a reminder to do so.
Now a picture, because the vast majority of you apparently don't read anything. TV generation and such.
This was the note he put in the blister packed envelope which I greatly enjoyed popping.
User Reviews
Submitted by spyder882001 (user info) at 2008-04-07 19:55:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
www.postsecret.com Frank has been doing it for years.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-04-07 19:35:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This looks like the beginning of something seriously gay between you two.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-04-07 19:06:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you can post the back of the envelope though and describe what i sent you if you like. just not the actual story i sent pls.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-04-07 19:04:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I sent mine to you today.........but I don't necessarily want you to post it on uber.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2008-03-06 18:34:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-03-06 08:25:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HellRazer (user info) at 2008-03-05 20:17:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
keep an eye out, more should be on the way.
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I check it daily.
Submitted by HellRazer (user info) at 2008-03-05 20:17:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
keep an eye out, more should be on the way.
Submitted by cocaine (user info) at 2008-03-05 15:58:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
such penmanship
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2008-03-05 14:42:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-03-05 11:36:14 CST (#)
Ranking: 2
EW, was the floss used?!
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Please. I'm not THAT crass.
But I did lick the envelope a-plenty before sealing it. :)
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-03-05 14:39:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.anti-robot.org/
I'm definately anti-robot.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-03-05 14:38:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
how delightful
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2008-03-05 14:36:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
:D
Submitted by lostnphound (user info) at 2008-03-05 14:32:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
what about people? can we send people? For instance, the Mexican I have working for me is sub par and I've grown tired of him. May I send him?
He works for food...
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-03-05 13:18:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-03-05 13:12:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
awesome.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-03-05 12:51:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-03-05 12:39:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
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Oh pretty please mail me some magical laced gloves. I could use them right about now.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-03-05 12:46:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I have the perfect thing.
Sent to me by an uberuser, we've decided it shall now be handed down to you.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-03-05 12:39:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
With all due respect I pulled this maneuver several times. It started with Getnakeddd when I sent her a reese's peanut butter cup shirt, a telephone cable, some paper clips, and a piece of hemp. Then I sent Method a pair of gloves magically laced with something, a post-it notepad, and keychain. Afterwards I sent scourge a poem book, a razorblade, and some intrinsic things that I can't remember. I believe I sent a puzzle box to Hilarity. Finally I sent a sun-print kit to Bart at his business address listed on the contact page.
Oh yeah, and I sent a "Fuck Me, I'm Irish" cammy to Inion...but that was a thank you for the porn.
I would start doing this again but people can no longer be civil.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-03-05 12:36:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
EW, was the floss used?!
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-03-05 12:33:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2008-03-05 12:13:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Just wait till I get back to Texas.
Epic weirdness shall ensue.
I vow it...
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I look forward to it. Now I'm off to the PO Box, with hope in my heart that I've received something new.
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2008-03-05 12:13:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Just wait till I get back to Texas.
Epic weirdness shall ensue.
I vow it...
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-03-05 12:01:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Dude! Just LOOK at that schizoid hook on the H!
Freak.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2008-03-05 11:58:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-03-05 10:56:13 CST (#)
Ranking: 2
Based on the handwriting, you can tell Thorns is crazier than a shit house rat.
:)
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Oh, you took that elective course in grad school, too?
And yes Muddy I am here...I have no alters. *
* that I am currently using
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2008-03-05 11:57:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hmmm Random weirdness from old blighty....hmmmm?
Lets see what we can do.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-03-05 11:56:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Based on the handwriting, you can tell Thorns is crazier than a shit house rat.
:)
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-03-05 11:54:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-03-05 11:50:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2008-03-05 11:20:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-03-05 10:18:57 CST (#)
Ranking: 2
CT has very emphatic (read "gay") handwriting. Exclamation points, smiley faces and that little "swoosh" under his initials.
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It comes from my mom's side of the family.
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Your mom is gay???!!!
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Or the whole side is?
Which begs the question as to how Thorns got here.
Or is he even here?
GODDAMN YOU OATHMEAL AND YOUR ALTERS!!!
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-03-05 11:53:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by lostnphound (user info) at 2008-03-05 11:41:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Can I send you the remains of my lunch today?
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Go for it. It's a free for all.
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-03-05 11:50:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2008-03-05 11:20:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-03-05 10:18:57 CST (#)
Ranking: 2
CT has very emphatic (read "gay") handwriting. Exclamation points, smiley faces and that little "swoosh" under his initials.
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It comes from my mom's side of the family.
----------------------------
Your mom is gay???!!!
Submitted by lostnphound (user info) at 2008-03-05 11:41:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Can I send you the remains of my lunch today? Not the dookie of course, but the wrapping from the sandwich and the cardboard holder for the fries. You could treasure it always!
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-03-05 11:35:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
damn my telepathy
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-03-05 11:34:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I see. That's an acceptable distance for mail. I'll see what I can come up with.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-03-05 11:33:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2008-03-05 11:11:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
As far as I'm concerned, feel free to use the floss for a string bikini in lieu of the traditional oral use. :)
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Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-03-05 11:08:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Love,
?
====
should have waited four minutes and your question mark would have been unecessary, muddy mudskipper.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-03-05 11:29:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-03-05 11:24:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
OK. Now I have to think of something super-weird to leave in your mailbox. Something so weird it will make your wife call the cops.
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Well, you need to know 2 things:
a) You will not scare my wife. She is a psycho just like me.
b) I actually don't live in your city, I live in High Falls, 45 min. South off I-75. It's great down here, and would be a good weekend trip for you. It rivals Dahlonega Falls in my opinion.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-03-05 11:24:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
OK. Now I have to think of something super-weird to leave in your mailbox. Something so weird it will make your wife call the cops.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-03-05 11:24:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Cool.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2008-03-05 11:20:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-03-05 10:18:57 CST (#)
Ranking: 2
CT has very emphatic (read "gay") handwriting. Exclamation points, smiley faces and that little "swoosh" under his initials.
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It comes from my mom's side of the family.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2008-03-05 11:19:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I wouldn't recommend using it while you're driving. ^_^ That stuff works best when you're dozing off and more open to subconscious suggestion...
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-03-05 11:19:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
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Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-03-05 11:18:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm not mailing you anything. We live in the same city. It just seems wrong.
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So drop it off in my mailbox then.
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-03-05 11:18:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
CT has very emphatic (read "gay") handwriting. Exclamation points, smiley faces and that little "swoosh" under his initials.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-03-05 11:18:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm not mailing you anything. We live in the same city. It just seems wrong.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-03-05 11:16:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2008-03-05 11:13:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
BTW...I'm surprised you actually haven't listened to the tape yet. I would think that someone from your generation would have a cassette player in their stereo, or an old Walkman laying about...
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Had one in my old car, but it kept eating the tapes. I'll check the flea markets this weekend for an old one, I really am interested in trying it out.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2008-03-05 11:13:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
BTW...I'm surprised you actually haven't listened to the tape yet. I would think that someone from your generation would have a cassette player in their stereo, or an old Walkman laying about...
(Of course, this dates ME, what with having cassette tapes to send...)
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2008-03-05 11:11:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
As far as I'm concerned, feel free to use the floss for a string bikini in lieu of the traditional oral use. :)
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-03-05 11:08:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Love,
?
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-03-05 11:07:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
What a filthy note.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-03-05 11:04:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
interesting. random wierd mail is highly entertaining. so much more so than the fucking garbage and bills i get all the time.