Works like a charm. (1263 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.08 on 12 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Targa (View user info) at 2008-03-05 20:05:08 EST
I seldom have the opportunity to bring my dinner with me to work. It's a combination of two reasons, really. One, I don't go to the grocery store. Ever. The idea that I'd have food at home to BRING along to work is far-fetched. Two, I'm usually in such a rush to get out of my house that arriving at work fully clothed is a feat in itself, nevermind having to put little bits of food into a container and haul it along with me. I typically buy something at either the bakery across the street, or subsist entirely on coffee.
Today I did manage to bring my dinner with me. It's leftovers from yesterday, because I actually went grocery shopping, and didn't just get (another) take-out order from the Ethiopian restaurant down the street.
Needless to say, I was sitting at my desk, pleased as all hell that I had a little dinner with me. With my fork in the air, about to take a bite, the cleaning woman came into master control with a roll of toilet paper, and announced to me that "this paper, is DANGEROUS TO TOILET".
I took the fork out of my mouth. "What?"
"The CHARM. It's CLOGGING THE PIPES. NO BREAK UP NICE WITH WATER." She really does talk like that. Her name is Dora, and she's a walking, talking version of every stereotype you've ever heard about old European women. "ONLY USE 2 PIECES."
"But it feels nice on your bum. I think they buy us 2-ply to be nice to us."
She blinked at me. I think she thought I'd sworn at her. "Oh! Well!"
At that point, I took the roll from her and wound a whole bunch around my hand to demonstrate how much I use. "It's a mitt."
Now i have about three feet of toilet paper on my desk, and poor Dora has huffed back off to the kitchen.
User Reviews
Submitted by kuroneko_sama (user info) at 2008-03-08 03:22:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i used to supervise for a cleaning company, you quickly learn what offices contain the people who "wad" and those who "mitt" simply on the people who "mitt" need to have their paper changed 3 times as much as the "wadders"
also youd notice VP's use about 2x as much as the ceo's i found this fact in every one of the 5 companies we covered
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2008-03-06 18:28:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-03-06 06:39:06 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
...
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-03-06 06:36:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-03-06 06:32:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-03-06 11:26:23 GMT (#)
Ranking: 1
"It's a mitt."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-03-06 06:32:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-03-06 11:26:23 GMT (#)
Ranking: 1
"It's a mitt."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-03-06 06:26:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
"It's a mitt."
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-03-05 22:49:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-03-05 20:48:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"One, I don't go to the grocery store. Ever"
"It's leftovers from yesterday, because I actually went grocery shopping"
liar
-----
That's right when I quit reading and went to the reviews, too.
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2008-03-05 21:07:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
you haven't been around here in a long time, it seems like.
Bored at work again?
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2008-03-05 20:52:19 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I predict you'll soon have no unclogged toilets.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-03-05 20:48:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"One, I don't go to the grocery store. Ever"
"It's leftovers from yesterday, because I actually went grocery shopping"
liar
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-03-05 20:48:49 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Dammit. I thought this was gonna be about cereal.
Submitted by HellRazer (user info) at 2008-03-05 20:13:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Master Control?!?
Are you Tron?