Here is Today (1172 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.16 on 56 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by ghola (View user info) at 2008-03-05 22:38:28 EST
I want to shave off all my hair.
I want to burn old photos of myself
and everyone I know.
I want to break into their houses and kill them because they know me.
I want to throw all my clothes away
and steal sweaters from a homeless person.
I want to make new friends so I can tell them how they will die.
I want to talk into a cardboard box until it is full of words
and mail it to myself three years ago.
Then I want to find the box in my closet and burn it.
I want to take everything out of the fridge and bake it.
I want to tear the house down,
but first I will put everyone I know inside,
everything I ever saw or touched
all the things I said and heard.
And I want to run in circles backwards
to undo that crazy time I danced and sang.
I want to sell jump ropes to the suicide hotline.
I want to spell Mexican with an R.
I want to put a stack of DVD's in my VCR
and play them so fast that they sound like Bob Dylan.
I want to make everything out of some new element
that no one has ever touched.
I want lock myself in my room and wait on you
to come and eat the door.
User Reviews
Submitted by GangsterSquid (user info) at 2008-06-20 10:02:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You are OBVIOUSLY mental.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-03-06 21:08:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2008-03-06 20:45:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Fungah (user info) at 2008-03-07 02:24:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2008-03-06 08:16:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i hate bob dylan. i tried, but i can't make myself like him.
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It's probably the harmonica. It sounds like he's driving nails through a cat's eye.
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This makes me sad.
==============
I've never met anyone whothought Bob Dylan was a great vocalist. His fantastic ability is that of a songwriter. cf "Blowin' in The Wind."
However, NO ONE alive can match Dylan's version of "The Ballad Of Rueben Carter."
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2008-03-06 20:45:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Fungah (user info) at 2008-03-07 02:24:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2008-03-06 08:16:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i hate bob dylan. i tried, but i can't make myself like him.
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It's probably the harmonica. It sounds like he's driving nails through a cat's eye.
-------
This makes me sad.
Submitted by MyTeeOne (user info) at 2008-03-06 18:31:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This wasn't really my bag, but well written.
Oh, and I don't know who dithered is but just from these reviews I think the guy just might be a douche bag.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2008-03-06 18:26:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-03-06 16:54:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
what's a vcr?
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2008-03-06 16:50:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Silly fool. If you burn your house down, where will you pee?
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-03-06 12:32:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
KICK ASS
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-03-06 12:28:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Vegas!
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-03-06 12:07:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Shloongy went to Vegas and he desperately wants someone to ask about it.
SHLOONGY HOW MUCH DID YOU WIN? DID YOU MAKE IT RAIN ON THE STRIPPERS? PLEASE REGALE US.
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2008-03-06 11:28:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
vegas vacation?
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2008-03-06 11:21:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-03-06 10:50:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Vegas
---
these 'vegas' reviews are beginning to confuse me.
want to put some more words before or after "vegas?"
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2008-03-06 11:15:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
congrats
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-03-06 10:59:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-03-06 10:50:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Vegas
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-03-06 10:40:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah - tea and marijuana. You have to remember - he is obviously got some sort of social disorder that makes him a freak on stage. But he is just so goddamn creative - with music as much as lyrics.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2008-03-06 10:38:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i can't understand what he's saying. it's all slurred and mumbled.
i want to shake him and say, "SPEAK CLEARLY INTO THE MIC"
Then we'll hang out and drink tea. (I don't like tea, but I feel like bob dylan does).
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2008-03-06 10:31:42 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
go sinead
Submitted by Fungah (user info) at 2008-03-06 10:24:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2008-03-06 08:16:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i hate bob dylan. i tried, but i can't make myself like him.
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It's probably the harmonica. It sounds like he's driving nails through a cat's eye.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-03-06 10:11:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
mail it to myself three years ago.
----
Lemme know when you figure that trick out.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-03-06 10:07:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Forgot to rate.
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-03-06 10:04:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice work ghola. I just saw Dylan. He sounded like a bullfrog for the first 3 songs but his voice loosened up after that. His band was outrageously good, as usual. The drummer was probably in the top 3 I have ever seen. And the arrangements would blow you out of your chair. You wouldn't recognize Highway 61 Revisited or Just Like a Woman if you didn't know the lyrics intimately.
Anyway, last thought - don't pay any attention to that fuckhead dithered.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-03-06 09:58:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Merlina logged on this morning and rated this post only. Nice for you, huh :)
Miss ya Merlina.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-03-06 09:47:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This was really disconcerting in a very interesting way.
I like Bob Dylan.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-03-06 09:36:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by wookie (user info) at 2008-03-06 09:31:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2008-03-05 22:46:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
on a positive note, i'm officially a paid writer.
$100.00 check for a story in a lit journal out of ny.
=========================
Getting paid for writing is always cool. Regardless of how little, or where it gets published, it's nice seeing your own stuff in print.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2008-03-06 08:16:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i hate bob dylan. i tried, but i can't make myself like him.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-03-06 07:17:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Bob Dylan was shit in the 60's and he's shit now.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-03-06 05:58:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Well, you know boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like a woman. You just
have to read the manual and press the right button.
-- Homer Simpson
Homer Defined
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-03-06 05:55:12 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2008-03-06 05:32:25 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2008-03-06 04:31:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2008-03-06 01:15:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
btw, i think i channeled bill simmons with my last comment. all i needed was a reference to "just one of the guys" and i would have nailed it.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-03-06 01:05:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
stop it pen you're gettin me hot
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2008-03-06 01:03:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-03-06 00:02:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
this post has attracted high levels of testosterone and it makes me very uncomfortable
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every ghola post is a sausage fest. no offense to ghola, but she's like the 15-pounds-overweight, stud-in-her-nose girl working next to you in kfc. she's kind of ify and you're not sure if she washes everyday, but compared with the rest, she worth taking a shot at, if only to feel like the king of the dunghill.
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2008-03-06 00:16:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
shit i feel like that every day
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-03-06 00:02:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
this post has attracted high levels of testosterone and it makes me very uncomfortable
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-03-05 23:59:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
you would probably look good bald but i think i already told you that
this was okay
Submitted by Fungah (user info) at 2008-03-05 23:56:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by dithered (user info) at 2008-03-05 22:50:02 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH
lit journal = indy press leaflet handed out to cars during rush our in a suburb of detroit
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA
KEEP TRYING YOU VAPID SLUT.
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I usually don't get involved in these things, but please, shut the fuck up.
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2008-03-05 23:43:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2008-03-05 22:46:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
on a positive note, i'm officially a paid writer.
$100.00 check for a story in a lit journal out of ny.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Professionalism WOO!
So, what will you spend it on?
I'd spend it on a Roomba vaccum thing from Ebay, or Woot, or someplace that sells them. It's one step closer to robotic slaves. Then life will be easy. Until they turn on us, throwing off the shackels of oppression, destroying us all.
Gholatime!
Submitted by dithered (user info) at 2008-03-05 23:43:33 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Hahah Matt likes going right for the jugular with the personal attacks.
Haven't you learned anything after all these years you've wasted on this place you fucking idiot?
I care so little about your opinion of my life that it's almost humorous.
Almost. Not quite, but almost.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-03-05 23:17:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Linus (user info) at 2008-03-05 23:01:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That is beautiful.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-03-05 23:00:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
what exactly is it i want to be, bret?
professionally successful? checked that one off the list.
well on my way to being rich? check.
married to a beautiful talented woman better than anyone you could ever hope to have? done that.
generally happy with my lot in life? got that.
not everyone values being a fucking nutcase 'roid addicted loser who follows some false dream across the country only to settle for yet another mediocre station in life to replace the one they left behind, kid. but hey, silver lining! at least that poor dog doesn't have to deal with you anymore.
so, please elaborate, you tiny dicked ginger with emotional issues. i'm listening.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-03-05 22:56:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Well done on the pub, kid.
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2008-03-05 22:53:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2008-03-05 22:46:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
on a positive note, i'm officially a paid writer.
$100.00 check for a story in a lit journal out of ny.
----------------------
my joke was a lit journal run by a guy out of a van who required a certain on-your-knees fee to get the ball rolling.
anyway, congrats
Submitted by Socialist_Joe (user info) at 2008-03-05 22:53:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
come on
she aint my bag
but she aint bad
you just a bitter nigger
Submitted by dithered (user info) at 2008-03-05 22:50:41 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Fuck off Matt you tired wannabe.
Defending trash like Ghola only brings you down to her level.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-03-05 22:50:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
you have a lot of explaining to do
Submitted by dithered (user info) at 2008-03-05 22:50:02 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2008-03-05 22:46:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
on a positive note, i'm officially a paid writer.
$100.00 check for a story in a lit journal out of ny.
_________________________
HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH
lit journal = indy press leaflet handed out to cars during rush our in a suburb of detroit
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA
KEEP TRYING YOU VAPID SLUT.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-03-05 22:49:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
better than your last post.
better than bret's rating too.
i'm bumping mine to offet his.
Submitted by Socialist_Joe (user info) at 2008-03-05 22:49:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i think your crazier than me
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2008-03-05 22:46:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
on a positive note, i'm officially a paid writer.
$100.00 check for a story in a lit journal out of ny.
Submitted by dithered (user info) at 2008-03-05 22:45:46 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Talentless? Check.
Ugly as sin? Check.
Near homeless? Check.
Without purpose? Check.
Delusional? Check.
Completely lacking any semblance of what ANYONE would consider literary ability? Check.
Must be a Ghola.
Submitted by Fungah (user info) at 2008-03-05 22:43:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is exactly how I feel.
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2008-03-05 22:39:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
you sound bipolar. how's that working for ya?