My Favorite Future Posts, Vol. 1 (668 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.11 on 40 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by S.I. Co. Semen (View user info) at 2008-03-06 12:12:51 EST
It's no mystery that there's a bevy of talent on this website, starting with myself, just to name but one. However, coordinating this talent to have an "awesome" front page can be a daunting task. With the few exceptions of random contests here and there the front page consists mostly of sophomoric humor, fecal posts, and the occasional gem of literary quality on par with Greg Louganis's "For the Life of Your Dog: A Complete Guide to Having a Dog in Your Life ..." http://content.answers.com/main/content/wp/en/a/aa/For_the_Life_of_Your_Dog.jpg Face it, we don't all have the literary genius displayed by a four time Olympic gold medalist.
For this reason, and this reason alone, I have compiled for you some of my favorite future posts, yet to hit the front page.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/212774 This patch of brilliance was sewn by no other than Circe and details the troubled life of Clarissa, a middle aged mom who goes on a massive sexual binge. As she knocks on random doors of a 6 story project apartment building soliciting free sex we learn about her encounter with Joyce. I especially like the part when Joyce shoves a brown sugar coated carrot up the rectum of Clarissa where upon it becomes lodged. Oh, WHAT FUN! The next several hours are spent trying to extract the legume via different applications (plunger, salad tongs, and get this one...a car jack ROFL) before finally retiring to the hospital. The anguish, the character development, the emotion is just unmatched.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/164287 Oh boy! Shenanigans or not, this post brought so much attention to it. Our very own Jack McCallum, after having been thrown straight into the virtual wood chipper finally comes out and tells us that he's gay, as if we didn't already know. He explains to us why he moved deeper into San Francisco, affectionately known as the Gay Bay by his homo buddies, as a means to entertain his newly open homosexual tendencies. What makes this post so special is that Scourge admittedly breaks down and tells about his sexual encounter with Jack (they drove matchbox cars into each other {whatever that means}) while watching Rambo films at a hotel during a Sausalito, CA ubercon. The reviews alone make this post worthwhile.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/199583 New user, Dick_McTagerton, presents us with the first confirmed suicide from harassment on uber. Apparently getting called a retard by Electro during his 4 month return was enough for HurtByTheSun to give himself a carbon dioxide day spa, compliments of his Honda Fit, England's shittiest economy car. Being that the car is the size of a shoe box and HTBS's life is marginally deemed worthless they decided to not expend the effort of giving him a proper burial and to just tow the car to an abandoned mine shaft where they pushed it into the depths of hell. Through the news article we learned that Hurty was a paederast and that all of his joking on uber was truth. For shame. PSYCH! Good for that asshole.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/284629 After exceeding all odds of life, and the odds placed on uber of TTOM's demise (found here: http://www.ubersite.com/254119 ) we were given perhaps the oddest post to ever hit the front page by the mad scientist himself. TTOM's experiment was to see if an alien race of ants could subsist of the contents of his anus alone for one full month. After performing a colostomy surgery on himself he blocked off his upper intestine with a biodegradable expandable polystyrene foam and sewed his asshole shut. The pictures of ants falling out of his hole after cutting the sutures, some dead some alive, coupled with the grin on his face was quite disturbing but congratulations are in order for taking one for science. Lo and behold we find out that his experiment proved absolutely nothing and that he will not be getting any more grants. Thus ended the posting by TTOM, himself.
More to follow:
User Reviews
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-03-10 19:09:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-03-10 18:50:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Not bitter, bro. It's just a dumb post and your retal was the bitch maneuver.
---
FAIL.
Please read the instructions.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-03-07 12:36:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by PepsiCoke (user info) at 2008-03-07 03:37:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
What a mediocre use of a great idea.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-03-07 03:51:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by PepsiCoke (user info) at 2008-03-07 03:37:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
What a mediocre use of a great idea.
Submitted by PepsiCoke (user info) at 2008-03-07 03:37:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
What a mediocre use of a great idea.
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2008-03-07 03:01:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
you ARE fucked up.
cool glasses too
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2008-03-06 18:24:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2008-03-06 18:24:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Socialist_Joe (user info) at 2008-03-06 16:40:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by dithered (user info) at 2008-03-06 16:27:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I've never felt so unjust in +2ing a post with THIS much gayness.
Submitted by rorrim (user info) at 2008-03-06 14:55:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-03-06 13:16:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Win.
+5, dude...
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2008-03-06 14:52:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HEY! Have you been reading my Uber posts idea file?! sonofabitch!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-03-06 14:47:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Nope...there's approximately 143,927 Mutual Funds out there and I have money in maybe 12 of them.
And right now, they pretty much all suck donkey balls except for FLATX.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-03-06 14:45:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Yozz, my brother mentioned BW3's when they last had a split.
Shlongy, that's a nice mutual to get into. I'm looking at PRLAX right now, trying to ride the Latin funds success. Any advice on that one?
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-03-06 14:33:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I am not reading it.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-03-06 14:26:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-03-06 14:15:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
So, nothing has changed much - right Caul?
===
heh...touche.
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-03-06 14:21:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sico - consider BWLD
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-03-06 14:20:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
This is the mutual fund I mentioned as a review in a Shitfuck post probably 3 years ago - FLATX - I moved a pile of money into it back at the end of '04 or beginning of '05 when it was at $19 and change.
It's probably too late to triple up like I have but it was a nice run the last couple of years. Fidelity isn't the worst place to look for mutual funds. They're better than a lot of shit funds I have in my various 401k's...which all suck balls right at the moment. having money invested in foreaign markets/stocks is probably a better place to be these days until this market straightens out.
If small caps ever come back- and everything is cyclical - take a look at FRSGX - This fucker has lost a third of its' value in the last 6 months but for a few years, it was returning 10-15% a year for three straight years.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-03-06 14:15:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i just control F'ed to see if i got mentioned.
i did.
+2
glad you're back, babycakes. i missed you.
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-03-06 14:15:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
So, nothing has changed much - right Caul?
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-03-06 14:03:00 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
i didn't even read the post or the title for that matter.
i barely come here anymore, only to drop a few stfu and write a blog-like entry.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-03-06 13:58:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Awwe, look at how cute caul is when he's got flat-dick hurt from not being included. Giddy giddy gooo goo.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-03-06 13:55:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Humphrey, you suggested PAYX here: http://www.ubersite.com/m/100045#2358912 March 26th of 07' where it was trading at ~$40.50 then it took a tumble down to $36.50 or so. Then it climbed and now it's taken a tumble. If you are trading this often off the the peaks and valley's then it's a safe bet.
I just bought GU, a biodiesel company for $9.25/share. I may have just fucked myself, depending on how the biodiesel market blossoms or falls. I'm guess that since this company isn't relying on crop-->government subsidized-->corn-->fuel for it's basic product it should do well. Most of their product comes from offal vegetable oil waste.
Fuck it. I'm in to my 6th or 7th stock right now, a few mutual funds and at such young age I think I'm off to a sound start in investing. I may just buy some PAYX about now as it's at the lowest it's been in a while.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-03-06 13:51:20 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
stfu
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-03-06 13:34:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
MWG, I'm pretty sure that this hasn't been done before but it came to me before I took my leave of absence. I was so disappointed with uber at that point that I decided to pawn this idea off to HTBS, but like a true gentleman he told me that I should be the one to post such a novel idea. How do I repay him? I slaughter and tarnish the good name that he has made for himself. Such is the trend on uber.
Here here!
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-03-06 13:33:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I didn't read the third one properly. You're probably right.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-03-06 13:28:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is yet another awesome novel concept. At least to me it is, I'm not sure if it's ever been done before, Just like I wasn't aware that so many of you had sent out "things" to each other before, being a NuB that I am.
The real challenge will be beating off all your enemies when those post numbers roll around, so that you could at least make one of them actually come true.
HAHA, I said "beating-off!"
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-03-06 13:27:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+1 is for Scourge. +1 for his penis.
I feel like Alan Shepard when I ride that thing.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-03-06 13:16:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Win.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-03-06 13:04:13 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Sico- go back to the post to get the 'timing' of when I recommended it.
I believe it was at around $36 and change, if not less.
I've bought and sold this stock probably 10 times over the last 10 years...I've always won with it. Some wins, obviously bigger than others.
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-03-06 12:58:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sico - in lieu of your +12 have some recent info on PAYX - Courtesy of my Motley Fool Account.
By Rich Smith (TMFDitty) February 26, 2008
At The Motley Fool, we poke plenty of fun at Wall Street analysts and their endless cycle of upgrades, downgrades, and "initiating coverage at neutral." So you might think we'd be the last people to give virtual ink to such "news." And we would be -- if that were all we were doing.
But in "This Just In," we don't simply tell you what the analysts said. We'll also show you whether they know what they're talking about. To help, we've enlisted Motley Fool CAPS, our tool for rating stocks and analysts alike. With CAPS, we'll be tracking the long-term performance of Wall Street's best and brightest -- and worst and sorriest, too.
And speaking of the best ...
Shares of ADP (NYSE: ADP) and Paychex (Nasdaq: PAYX) are tumbling today after Banc of America Securities, the investment banking arm of Bank of America, shoved both payroll processors off the cliff. Worrying that a weaker economy will cause smaller businesses to cut spending on payroll processing services, B of A took an ax to its "buy" ratings on both stocks, downgrading each to "neutral."
And yet, B of A made a point of praising both companies' business models, and predicting that whatever the economy does, both ADP and Paychex will continue to grow their profits. So which is it, B of A? Are the companies overpriced stocks that will underperform the rest of the market, or great businesses that will survive a bum economy?
It's both
The way I see it, those two conclusions aren't mutually exclusive. You see, at their current prices, and based on current analyst estimates, both ADP and Paychex look overpriced relative to their prospects. ADP trades for 19 times earnings and is expected to grow its profits at about 14% per year long term; Paychex costs more (23 times earnings), and is expected to grow faster (at 15%). Thus, neither stock passes a basic PEG test on valuation.
And yet, you'll notice that while neither stock's price offers an attractive price relative to growth, both are expected to grow -- and 14% to 15% growth through a recession and out to the other side is nothing to be ashamed of. On the contrary, it's downright respectable.
I guess the real question here, then, is whether B of A is correctly calling a weakening economy in the first place. Based on the banker's record, I suspect it is. Over on CAPS, where we've monitored B of A's record for well over a year now, this analyst maintains a CAPS rating in the top 10% of players, and it gets a majority of its picks right across a broad swath of industries. For example:
...
To my mind, this suggests an ability to identify economic trends and to pick the stocks that will benefit from them. Of course, even a good analyst makes bad calls from time to time. For example, B of A has been particularly bad at charting the course of its fellow megabanks:
...
Foolish takeaway
Basically, for me, the decision to buy, sell, or hold ADP and Paychex comes down to valuation. Based on their respective prices, and the general consensus among analysts about how fast they're likely to grow over the next five years, neither stock looks attractively priced to me today. Add in B of A's specific downgrades, and that just confirms what I'm already thinking.
In other words, I don't hate either stock. I'm just not enthusiastic about owning them.
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-03-06 12:47:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Well well well. I don't think I will ever look at you the same way again, Sico. If I could +12 I would.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-03-06 12:45:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
The problem is that you suggested it at it's peak and it's toppled ever since. Good idea buying more of it now, though. It's worth buying now.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-03-06 12:43:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-03-06 11:42:14 CST (#)
Ranking: -2
I still love PAYX and am loading up on it as we speak.
Look at it's 52 week high...Once the market gets straightened out- and it might take another 6-12 months, I'll be swimming in cash.
-------
Oh yeah? Hmmmm, worth checking out.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-03-06 12:42:14 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I still love PAYX and am loading up on it as we speak.
Look at it's 52 week high...Once the market gets straightened out- and it might take another 6-12 months, I'll be swimming in cash.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-03-06 12:29:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You may get a cameo sometime, Thornburg. Also...do you remember suggesting PAYX as a stock pick about 6 months ago....what a fucking retard! I'm looking at AKNS, GU, and a few others, perhaps RAD to pick up.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-03-06 12:27:14 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This might have garnered a + if Shlongy was mentioned.
Since he wasn't, I lost interest rapidly.
Submitted by lostnphound (user info) at 2008-03-06 12:23:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I like big butts and I cannot lie
You other brothers can't deny
When a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist
And that round thing in your face
You get sprung...
oh...sorry.
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2008-03-06 12:16:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2008-03-06 12:15:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-03-06 12:14:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2