Creep's Last Day (re-repost) (1032 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: officestuff
Rating: 1.39 on 47 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Flash Harry (View user info) at 2008-03-07 08:49:17 EST
User Reviews
Submitted by loveinbrevity (user info) at 2008-07-21 10:59:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by HellRazer (user info) at 2008-03-08 22:28:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
These Transformers are not for circutry, oh no.
They are robots in disguise.
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I think this may make me LOL until the day I die.
Submitted by Fungah (user info) at 2008-03-07 12:53:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-03-07 12:21:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
In yet another famous NURRRR moment, I've been sitting here thinking that creep_firebombing works with some dude named F.J.Bell and pondering the implications of that.
Then it dawns on me that it was a play on creep_firebombing and Mr. Last Day Creep, subject of the post.
NURRRRRR!
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2008-03-07 12:18:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Then I have failed. I shall fall on my sword.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-03-07 12:17:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Also, in an email to a friend just yesterday I wrote, "Ever read something and because of the words used, you can almost hear it being read in an accent? That list smacked so hard of Londoner I could almost smell the curry houses and french fires soaked in vinegar." That applied to this.
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I'm Glaswegian.
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2008-03-07 12:16:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Yo nigga, I don't work witchoo! Choose other pseudonyms or I shall enlist the services of Jewtoast to sue you for slander.
Also, in an email to a friend just yesterday I wrote, "Ever read something and because of the words used, you can almost hear it being read in an accent? That list smacked so hard of Londoner I could almost smell the curry houses and french fires soaked in vinegar." That applied to this.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-03-07 12:14:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I keep meaning to ask you if you've read 'The Gentleman Bastard' books, or if it's just a weird coincidence.
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If you mean the Flashman papers, then yeah I've read them and thoroughly enjoyed them.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-03-07 12:12:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I keep meaning to ask you if you've read 'The Gentleman Bastard' books, or if it's just a weird coincidence.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-03-07 12:05:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah Crystle you need to stop that.
U onery wench.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-03-07 11:57:57 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Why Flash? It's just a rat. I couldn't care less if someone stapled bacon to its back and set it on fire.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2008-03-07 11:53:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i'm in ur phone, steeling ur menz
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-03-07 11:46:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Poor show, Flashman, poor show.
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You expected anything different from a self-confessed cad and toady?
But seriously, the guy's weird. Anyway most of my anger was aimed at whomsoever painted the rat.
THAT, you must admit, deserves some spite?
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-03-07 11:45:59 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Skate it off Forensic. Prejudice is for losers.
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2008-03-07 11:45:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-03-07 08:43:29 PST (#)
Ranking: -2
Actually I must admit that I'm really rather appalled by this post. The normal human reaction to this man should at worst be pity but the sheer contempt in this post, the cruel zeal, is ugly.
Poor show, Flashman, poor show.
====================
Berty likes Pokemon. Pass it on.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-03-07 11:45:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHA @ Crystle!
U shud relly do sumthig about ur anfer issues.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2008-03-07 11:43:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
yeah,uh-huh.. liek any1 is gunna believe that
You're jelus that the anime chicks get more guys that you, 'cus UR fat like a tree.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-03-07 11:43:29 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Actually I must admit that I'm really rather appalled by this post. The normal human reaction to this man should at worst be pity but the sheer contempt in this post, the cruel zeal, is ugly.
Poor show, Flashman, poor show.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-03-07 11:42:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You're the jelus 1, you bicth.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2008-03-07 11:41:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hahaha, FG.. what a liar!
You KNOW it's just because you're jelus
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-03-07 11:40:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Berty-
The whole thing started because of an unfortunate association that was made during the time when I was doing some class credit with the police force.
I got to hang around the police department and watch the whole evaluation process that happened when someone disturbed committed somekind of crime.
Anyway, I just got creeped out by this one guy. He was late 30's, overweight, really fucking creepy, and happily told the detective that he was aroused by cartoons. From what the detective told me, it was anime style stuff and the female characters looked like underage school girls.
Anyway, as I watched the tape of his interview(s), he was constantly rubbing his upper thigh. The motion became faster if he talked about females. Any females. Even the fictional ones.
Every now and then, you encounter two different things at a very specific moment in time. If the psychological impact is intense enough, bam, an association is formed forever linking the two things together. At least for you.
That's why.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2008-03-07 11:39:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ooh, I agree, Cyrus... FG is, in fact, the ORIGIN of the term bicth.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-03-07 11:31:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Forensic confuses me with her revulsion considering she works with bodily fluids, smokes and associates with bikers.
I suspect the reasoning is tied up somehow with why some women buy pot pourri (sp?), fear mice and loath their own cunt. Maybe I am reading too much into it and Forensic is merely leaping on an oppurtunity to vilify the lonely, shy and disadvantaged. Cruelty towards the vulnerable is, after all, such a noble quality.
Submitted by Cyrus (user info) at 2008-03-07 11:14:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-03-07 09:15:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
If he's not married, no girlfriend, late 30's and heavy into Manga and toys, he's a pedo (paedo). Is he fat? I bet he's fat.
Tell your co-worker (Blondie) that she should thank her lucky stars that she never went out with him because the first thing he'd ask her to do is to dress up as an underage female Manga character.
I'm pretty much convinced that grown men who get off on Anime and Manga are pedos who are too cautious to look at actual child porn. This is why the beat off to Sailor Moon.
Not too long ago I went into a combination head shop/used CD/comic book store. I swear, over in the comic book section was a collection of late 30/early 40 something, grossly obese, shifty eyed, nervous looking men thumbing through comic books and appearing to be highly aroused with what was printed on the pages.
And... yap yap yap
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ever the narrow-minded, uptight, judgemental bitch
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-03-07 11:00:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I forgot to mention that his desk has been all decorated for his last day. He is sitting surrounded by a myriad of coloured balloons and banners and sparkly ribbons. With his Optimus Prime toy. And his Nickelodeon DVD. And a beige, woollen sweater worn over a purple shirt. And a smarmy little face...
God, will I be pleased when he leaves.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-03-07 10:57:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You just KNOW that he'll sneak away for a wank now. Penis in one hand, Transformer in the other.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-03-07 10:55:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is not making me want to re-join the work force. Work has ground to a halt on the boat and I will get very board very quickly if I don't do something.
Maybe I should take up origarmi instead of work.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-03-07 10:48:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
***UPDATE***
Well, we just had the presentation, and I can't imagine a more cringe-worthy little ceremony.
The Boss said a few words and then gave Creep his gift-bag. He looked inside it and his mouth stretched into a wet-lipped smile. He said thanks but didn't look as though he was going to remove the presents.
"Well, take them out then," prompted the Boss. "I want to see your face!"
I really like my boss.
He took out the DVD. It looked even more sinister in real-life than the picture. He glanced over the writing and the back and mumbled something about having looked for it for so long. We were standing in a semi-circle around him and he looked around us as he said thanks - his gaze lingered on poor Blondie for just a moment more than was appropriate.
There was also a Toblerone and a Rubiks cube in the bag, but he didn't pay much attention to them. He looked fairly pleased with the Transformers toy. It turns out he also has a Transformers background on his mobile phone.
It ended with, bizarrely, a half-hearted round of applause, before we wandered off to our desks.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-03-07 10:33:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
What FG said!
Submitted by Socialist_Joe (user info) at 2008-03-07 10:30:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-03-07 10:28:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Please come back and let us know how it went.
Poor Blondie will probably have a hard time concealing the look of disgust that will undoubtably want to cross her face.
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2008-03-07 10:28:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Very well-constructed post.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-03-07 10:24:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
it would have been great if you twisted it into a little fiction
================================================
Sadly this is all too real. That was a genuine email I posted, I just scrubbed the name's from it.
And in seven minutes Blondie and I have to go over to Creep's desk for the presentation of his weird, perverted gifts.
*shudder*
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-03-07 10:18:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This was really good. It would have been great if you twisted it into a little fiction by having we, the readers, find out that blondie had actually fucked The Creep after he made her dress up in an anime-type costume.
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2008-03-07 09:54:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I love that pokeyourmum getting chewed up by the lions yay! I want a mouse like that I reckon my kittens would love it.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-03-07 09:48:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You are fast becoming one of my favourite posters.
Happy days.
Keep it up, don't suck.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-03-07 09:44:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
And does anybody know if that Pikachu-mouse thing is real or 'shopped?
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-03-07 09:44:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"A story of one bald kid's struggle to... well, bend air." Priceless!
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-03-07 09:42:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This was amazing, perfect, kicker of all ass. The Pikachu-rat got me.
I've never personally been ever, at any time, interested in anime or manga or w/e, I just don't have an asian fetish like tons of people seem to have.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-03-07 09:40:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I was in the Habitat for Humanity thrift shop yesterday, and got Cheech & Chong's Big Bambu (no paper, dammit), a couple albums by The Allman Brothers, and a Harry Belafonte album including the classic Calypso track Day-O. All on vinyl, for 25 cents each.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-03-07 09:35:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-03-07 08:19:10 CST (#)
Ranking: 0
Is he fat? I bet he's fat.
===========================
He isn't fat but he does have a face like a boot. And he speaks very strangely, as though he's always nervous.
Blondie is a good bit younger than him. I wouldn't let her go near him.
------
You're a fine man.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-03-07 09:19:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Is he fat? I bet he's fat.
===========================
He isn't fat but he does have a face like a boot. And he speaks very strangely, as though he's always nervous.
Blondie is a good bit younger than him. I wouldn't let her go near him.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-03-07 09:15:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
If he's not married, no girlfriend, late 30's and heavy into Manga and toys, he's a pedo (paedo). Is he fat? I bet he's fat.
Tell your co-worker (Blondie) that she should thank her lucky stars that she never went out with him because the first thing he'd ask her to do is to dress up as an underage female Manga character.
I'm pretty much convinced that grown men who get off on Anime and Manga are pedos who are too cautious to look at actual child porn. This is why the beat off to Sailor Moon.
Not too long ago I went into a combination head shop/used CD/comic book store. I swear, over in the comic book section was a collection of late 30/early 40 something, grossly obese, shifty eyed, nervous looking men thumbing through comic books and appearing to be highly aroused with what was printed on the pages.
The CDs were too close to this section and the smell of oily sweat was making me ill so I bought some incense and got the hell out of there.
Ew ew ew!
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-03-07 09:04:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
If you really want to fuck with blondie, send her here: http://www.ubersite.com/u/sicosemen
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-03-07 08:59:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Hah yeah thanks. Its the first time I've made one of those things.
Bothersome.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-03-07 08:57:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I have commented about a million times already on your other 5 posts!
Sico saves the day.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-03-07 08:50:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/115431#2666188
Cheers sico