The BOSH Man! BECOMES A SHOE-SLINGIN' CHAMPION OF KARATE AND FRIENDSHIP!! (783 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.85 on 42 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Dude, thats BOSH! (View user info) at 2008-03-07 12:36:34 EST
I spent the better part of last week bottling up my farts and then connecting them to Scruggs' feeding tube.
A few days ago someone let Scruggs out of his cage and he went to a bar, probably to shit himself. He sat at the bar and introduced himself to the barkeep.
"Hi, I am none other than the Godfather of Bluegrass Music himself, Earl Scruggs!"
"Hi, I'm the proprieter of this establishment and you must not be able to read!"
"huh?"
"Outside there is a sign which reads: NO BANJO-FISTING NARCS ALLOWED"
"..."
"..."
Their 'conversation' grew into a staring contest which lasted 2 and a half hours. Finally some gay dudes walked in and scruggs started jacking off, so the barkeep kicked the fuck out of him, thus the feeding tube, although the winner of the staring contest was never determined.
The Barkeep took his costume off and it was none other than The Kid Who Knows Everything!
"Whoa, dude! That was gnarly, how did you know Scruggs would come to this bar?"
"..."
"Oh, right."
I gave him a high five and we decided to play horseshoes for the next 2 years. We got really good and decided to join the pro circuit. I heard Scruggs watched us on TV and was making bets that we'd lose. Finally The Kid Who Knows Everything came up with a radical idea.
"Dude Bosh, Scruggs always puts money on the other team, but this time he is going make his biggest wager yet, and he is betting on us to win!"
"Bosh! But how do you know that?"
"Fuck man, seriously?"
"Oh right, my bad. Anyways, what're you getting at?"
"Let's let the other team win so Scruggs loses all his money and therefore cannot afford his medical bills!"
"Totally! But then we'll be eliminated from the tournament."
"Who cares? Horseshoes is for faggots, I would know."
"But according to the transitive property, wouldn't that make us faggots?"
"No."
"But how can you be sure?"
"YOU ASK ME THAT ALL THE FUCKING TIME, HOW HAVE YOU NOT FIGURED IT OUT YET?"
"All right cool."
So we lost on purpose and we're not faggots. Scruggs couldn't afford his medical bills but he recovered from his injuries just in time, so I called Thunderlips and told him to give Scruggs an atomic leg drop from the top rope.. and when he was finished, to atomic leg drop The Kid Who Knows Everything for being a narc.
Somehow, The Kid Who Knows Everything knew about the plan and averted his leg drop. He called me up and apologized for being a narc and we went golfing.
User Reviews
Submitted by PorcupineFloyd (user info) at 2008-03-12 23:13:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for the Sunny in Philadelphia reference. YOU ARE THE DAY MAN
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2008-03-10 17:37:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
There needs to be a Bosh video game.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-03-10 17:29:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yes indeed.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2008-03-09 12:16:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
BOSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhh
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-03-07 22:22:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2008-03-07 13:21:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
that was fun to say if i pronounced it phonetically.
PS why isn't phonetically spelled phonetically?
===
I've been asking that, too!
http://www.ubersite.com/m/78144#1679384
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2008-03-07 19:34:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
BOSH MAN
A-A-AAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Submitted by Creepy_guy (user info) at 2008-03-07 17:40:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I love your posts so damn much
Submitted by no1hasdis (user info) at 2008-03-07 15:37:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2008-03-07 14:35:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
...
internet.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-03-07 14:30:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
so you're really going to china to get laid?
jesus christ man they have a twat shortage don't you read usa today?
i told my buddy there was this guy who couldn't get laid in the states so he decided to try asia and he laughed his ass off and said what's the matter with roofies?
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-03-07 14:26:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Needs more neck punching.
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2008-03-07 14:25:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2008-03-07 13:45:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
needs more cigarettes.
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2008-03-07 13:44:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
so little can say so much
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2008-03-07 13:39:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"..."
"..."
Best dialogue in the history of the written language on any planet in any universe. Ever. Shakespeare and Douglas Adams are both rocking out right now at some Barnes&Nobles booksigning event in heaven.
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2008-03-07 13:30:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
!!
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2008-03-07 13:29:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
69 0225 4219 589654 3, 8074?
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2008-03-07 13:28:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
yea lets not use them anymore.
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2008-03-07 13:27:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
words are assholes anyway
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2008-03-07 13:27:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
last night i dremt that i flooded my neighbors basement with my piss.
is that strange?
true story by the way.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-03-07 13:26:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You have weird dreams, don't you?
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2008-03-07 13:25:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
powerful observation.
but if you take into consideration the meaning of the word, the way phonetically is spelled is absurd.
fuck that stupid word, i'm never using it again.
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2008-03-07 13:24:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
why isn't fast spelled quickly? or abbreviation spelled abbr.? or asshole spelled smellily?
who knows Boshman? whooooo knoooooowssss
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2008-03-07 13:21:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
that was fun to say if i pronounced it phonetically.
PS why isn't phonetically spelled phonetically?
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2008-03-07 13:19:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2008-03-07 12:41:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
4/4/08
just got my visa today, as a matter of fact.
--
congratulaaatiooonss
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2008-03-07 13:17:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i'm proud of this one.. its paced well.
for example, it starts off as earl scruggs being in the hospital last week... but only a few days ago he went to the bar and had the incident which put him in the hospital in the first place.
then we played horseshoes for 2 years and scruggs still hadn't recovered.
plus, my dick is on fire.. and i don't mean that it burns because of some inexplicable disease.. i mean it is literally on fire, i am amazed at how well i am maintaining my composure to write this review.
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-03-07 13:12:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It's like all the DudethatsBosh stuff - it's funny, but I have no idea why. Possibly just because of the randomness.
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2008-03-07 13:09:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i'm revelling in the success of my all-star game video campaign... the rest of the season means nothing to me.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-03-07 13:08:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
You're missing way too many games, man. What's your problem?
http://www.torontosun.com/Sports/Basketball/2008/03/06/4923941-sun.html
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2008-03-07 13:07:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
its a highlight now is it?
well then i think i'll wait until later you rancid bearfucking narc.
oops, well there you go.
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2008-03-07 13:05:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-03-07 12:52:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
3.14?
--
eh?
assh0ly its ok, i understand what you were trying to say
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-03-07 13:05:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
how long until i get called a bearfucker for reviewing your post?
it's really one of the highlights of my day on days you post.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2008-03-07 12:52:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
damn. if ubersite doesn't support arabic by tomorrow im shutting the whole thing down.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-03-07 12:52:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
3.14?
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2008-03-07 12:51:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
وحي في آخر اللّيل: الأشياء أنا أفكّر حول عندما أنا يستطيع لا ينام.
- أكثر من الالناس أنا يتلقّى يكون ألتقي حديثا إمّا تماما [أن-ديمنسونل], أو يتلقّى هم عمق غير أنّ [دوبليستووس]. يحقّق الأكثر أنا أفكّر حول هذا الناس, أنا أنا أتصرّف مثل صديقاتهم وأنا واحدة من هم.
- أنا أهتمّ أكثر لحيوانات من يتمّ أنا ل كثير أخرى الناس.
- هناك ما من هذا شيء بما أنّ لون موسيقى أنّ يكون ذلّ إلى نساء. على الأقلّ لا في جنرال. المعزق [سكنكي] أنّ يتردّد ي أخويّة منزل طابق سفلي رقص إلى
Submitted by Fungah (user info) at 2008-03-07 12:50:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
BOSH!
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-03-07 12:50:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Here. This one's funnier.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=iy5JC0g5SCU
Submitted by SkullBiter (user info) at 2008-03-07 12:46:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I laughed.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-03-07 12:44:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ah! Happy Friday for me! A Bosh post!
Mucho Gracias (and also Much Grass)
Anyway, you probably were too young to remember, but MTV used to have a show called Liquid Television. LT had little segments of weird little animations and stuff. There was this one called "Psychograms." Some sinister sounding British guy was writing letters to his Mum and the narrative would be accompanied by old photographs.
In some way, your Boshy posts remind me of them. Only stranger, more kinetic, and Yankified of course.
And, uh, no photos.
Here's an example.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=EbcFUa_j7aU
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2008-03-07 12:42:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
FUCK!!
Earl Scruggs tee-shirt ads on ubersite!!!!
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2008-03-07 12:41:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
4/4/08
just got my visa today, as a matter of fact.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-03-07 12:38:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i thought you were going to china in search of pussy