Another Leprechaun, another bar. (613 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 1 on 27 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by FALLEN (View user info) at 2008-03-07 14:10:42 EST
Inspired by http://www.ubersite.com/m/115437
A guy walks into a bar, as they always seem to do in a story like this, and orders himself a drink.
He needed to get good and drunk because his latest girlfriend had just dumped him. The story with her was the same as all his past romances; they just were not satisfied with him in bed. Nature had cursed him with a small penis and no amount of foreplay skill could ever overcome that fact.
After an hour or so of drowning his sorrow, he needed to break the seal and relive himself. He pushed away from the bar and headed into the men's room.
While standing at the urinal, lost in self-doubt, the door opened. In to the room walked a small man dressed from head to toe in green.
The little fellow positioned himself at the adjacent urinal and unzipped.
He glanced at the man in green and caught an unintended glimpse of his disproportionately huge member.
It was at least 14" long.
Realizing he broke the cardinal rule of bathroom etiquette, he unwittingly said "wow" a little too loud.
"He's quite a sight, isn't he boyo?"
Ashamed he zipped up and awkwardly and drunkenly, agreed.
"Hey little guy, I cant help but ask how did a short dude like you, get hung so well?"
"I'm a leprechaun," the man in green said, "and I wished it upon me-self, the lady folk love it."
"I'll bet, say could you hook me up with one of those?"
He asked half jokingly.
The leprechaun rubbed his beard and said, "Aye, laddie, but in return you have to let me fuck you in the arse."
"No way!" he protested but thinking of all the failed relationships and the very real possibility of living a life alone, he allowed the whisky to give him courage and agreed.
He dropped his pants and the man in green started pounding away on his back door.
Between thrusts a voice came from behind him,
"So tell me"
Grunt-grunt
"How old of a fella' are ye?"
"I'm, ow! Twenty-three, Ow!
"He! Twenty three years old and you still believe in leprechauns, do ya?"
User Reviews
Submitted by dougiep (user info) at 2008-03-11 11:22:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by SkullBiter (user info) at 2008-03-08 19:15:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-03-07 21:27:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-03-07 17:42:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
YEAH SKULLBITER
nimrod was a dude in the bible, but now it just means dipshit unless you're jewish
fyi Ltap comes from the latin term for "little faucet" which the romans yelled at guys with small dicks as they crucified them
===============
Willie had to look up Nimrod. That's a fact.
--
Winnar!!!!
Not. STFU Val Kilmer. You man a shitty batman.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-03-07 21:27:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-03-07 17:42:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
YEAH SKULLBITER
nimrod was a dude in the bible, but now it just means dipshit unless you're jewish
fyi Ltap comes from the latin term for "little faucet" which the romans yelled at guys with small dicks as they crucified them
===============
Willie had to look up Nimrod. That's a fact.
Submitted by SkullBiter (user info) at 2008-03-07 17:43:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
bless the jews.
LTAP, hahahahahahwhahah.
Sad as that may seem, he might just change his name to that.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-03-07 17:42:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
YEAH SKULLBITER
nimrod was a dude in the bible, but now it just means dipshit unless you're jewish
fyi Ltap comes from the latin term for "little faucet" which the romans yelled at guys with small dicks as they crucified them
Submitted by SkullBiter (user info) at 2008-03-07 17:40:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-03-07 17:36:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Also, SkullBiter, get your terms straight. I'm not fighting with people online, I'm simply FUCKING AROUND!!! Get a clue and stop being so serious!!
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At least we're on the same page then bub. As I was doing the same.
Bible training? Did you meet jesus? I heard hes a top notch fella.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-03-07 17:36:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Also, SkullBiter, get your terms straight. I'm not fighting with people online, I'm simply FUCKING AROUND!!! Get a clue and stop being so serious!!
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-03-07 17:34:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
SkullBiteThis, no, I did not need to look it up. I know it from my years of Bible training.
That's right, dude, I used to train Bibles for a living. :)
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-03-07 17:30:03 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Thank you, Louie Anderson.
Submitted by HellRazer (user info) at 2008-03-07 17:28:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
not bad. but not good either.
Submitted by SkullBiter (user info) at 2008-03-07 17:19:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-03-07 17:13:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by SkullBiter (user info) at 2008-03-07 16:23:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-03-07 16:18:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
WILLIE!!! QUICK!!
Without looking it up, what does Nimrod mean?
--
Sad.
===========
Sad? Fuck you, asshole. Like you knew without researching it. No, you DID NOT!!
Now tell me a lie. . .
--
Actually I find it a little sad that you need to fight with people online.
<<<<<<Pathetic.>>>>>
WITHOUT LOOKING DESCRIBE YOUR EXISTENCE.
Bubba. I'll be you didnt have to look up that, now didja?
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-03-07 17:13:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by SkullBiter (user info) at 2008-03-07 16:23:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-03-07 16:18:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
WILLIE!!! QUICK!!
Without looking it up, what does Nimrod mean?
--
Sad.
===========
Sad? Fuck you, asshole. Like you knew without researching it. No, you DID NOT!!
Now tell me a lie. . .
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-03-07 16:51:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-03-07 16:43:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-03-07 16:00:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-03-07 15:49:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-03-07 14:21:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
haha, i've heard a variation invovling a genie and some guys wife. still funny stuff. here's one about letting a creature violate you in return for sexual prowess: http://www.ubersite.com/m/77239
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I remember the genie variation, the genie one is certainly 5-10 years old, it might be the original.
=================
ahahahaha what a fucking moron that joke is from vaudeville and probably before that you nimrod
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Does anyone see a pot or a kettle in this situation?
==================
ahahahahaha you stupid shit.
You're supposed to use the pot/kettle joke when two OTHER people are arguing.
Your usage is basically agreeing with the premise that you're a fucking nimrod.
The pot/kettle joke is really old, too, btw.
At LEAST 5-10 years.
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-03-07 16:43:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-03-07 16:00:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-03-07 15:49:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-03-07 14:21:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
haha, i've heard a variation invovling a genie and some guys wife. still funny stuff. here's one about letting a creature violate you in return for sexual prowess: http://www.ubersite.com/m/77239
-------------
I remember the genie variation, the genie one is certainly 5-10 years old, it might be the original.
=================
ahahahaha what a fucking moron that joke is from vaudeville and probably before that you nimrod
----------------------
Does anyone see a pot or a kettle in this situation?
Submitted by SkullBiter (user info) at 2008-03-07 16:23:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-03-07 16:18:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
WILLIE!!! QUICK!!
Without looking it up, what does Nimrod mean?
--
Sad.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-03-07 16:18:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
WILLIE!!! QUICK!!
Without looking it up, what does Nimrod mean?
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-03-07 16:00:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-03-07 15:49:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-03-07 14:21:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
haha, i've heard a variation invovling a genie and some guys wife. still funny stuff. here's one about letting a creature violate you in return for sexual prowess: http://www.ubersite.com/m/77239
-------------
I remember the genie variation, the genie one is certainly 5-10 years old, it might be the original.
=================
ahahahaha what a fucking moron that joke is from vaudeville and probably before that you nimrod
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-03-07 15:49:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-03-07 14:21:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
haha, i've heard a variation invovling a genie and some guys wife. still funny stuff. here's one about letting a creature violate you in return for sexual prowess: http://www.ubersite.com/m/77239
-------------
I remember the genie variation, the genie one is certainly 5-10 years old, it might be the original.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-03-07 14:30:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Reach arounds are old hat...Marigold was a contortionist and sucked me off simultaneously.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-03-07 14:21:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Actually, his name was Marigold and he fucked my ass so hard that I just shit out some of his bush. Sorry to disappoint :(
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-03-07 14:21:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
haha, i've heard a variation invovling a genie and some guys wife. still funny stuff. here's one about letting a creature violate you in return for sexual prowess: http://www.ubersite.com/m/77239
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-03-07 14:19:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I once shit a marigold bush, no lie.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-03-07 14:18:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-03-07 14:14:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
that's an old joke but you told it meh
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2008-03-07 14:13:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
totaly picked the number randomly.
or did I?
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2008-03-07 14:13:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ha
Submitted by SkullBiter (user info) at 2008-03-07 14:12:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHAHAHAH, sad.
However.
"He! Twenty three years old and you still believe in leprechauns, do ya?"
TWENTY FUCKING THREE.
just a number?