"How do you know I'm mad?" said Alice. "You must be," said the Cat, "or else you would not have come here... " (597 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 2 on 12 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Ballare (View user info) at 2008-03-07 17:53:12 EST
The Cat muttered to himself as Alice poked around the large, sprawling room. She gazed down at a puzzle haphazardly strewn across the rug, and squinted, trying to make out the picture. Was it a house, drawn with a child's hand? If she tilted her head to the left, it was a man with a jaunty cap perched on his head. And if she narrowed her eyes and looked away quickly, it was a woman bent over a cradle.
"What is this supposed to be?" She asked.
The Cat replied, "the need to conform."
"No, I meant..." Alice began, and then paused, deliberating. The Cat appeared to be speaking English, true, but she could not make heads nor tails of what he was saying. "The picture, what is it?"
"Without opposable thumbs," the Cat answered conversationally, paying no attention to her question, "it makes it terribly hard to finish a jig-saw puzzle."
Bewildered, Alice nodded mute agreement, and bent down to pick up a piece. She frowned: "But, these don't match up at all! What an odd puzzle- see, this one here is all sharp corners, and this one is a little circle, and... why, I've never even seen a shape like that before!" Alice looked askance to the Cat, who had leapt up on to an overstuffed armchair and was circling around to lay down.
"Ah, yes," the Cat murmured, "I suppose that would make it difficult to fit in as well. They are all different, aren't they?"
"Yes, that's just what I said."
Imperceptibly irritated, Alice turned away from the puzzle. She looked at the Cat for a long moment. His eyes were closed and he appeared to be sleeping. She opened her mouth for an instant, then, closing it, quietly strode across to the other side of the room, towards a large glass terrarium standing in the corner. It was shadowed within, and at first she thought it was simply full of plants.
As she strained her eyes, she began to notice movement within: black-and-white bodies that shifted and moved about as she watched. She thought fleetingly that they were some sort of strange and foreign animal, but realized as she squinted at them that they were huge, spindly-legged ants, shuffling to and fro, carrying this and that, moving bits and pieces of rubble or dirt or crumbs of food. On the side nearest her, the ants appeared brightly peppered with round white spots; those farther away from her were checkered black-and-white, reminding her of creeping insect chessboards. The two different patterns kept to themselves in clearly separated groups.
Alice tapped at the glass. Within, the ants paused and turned and waved their long antennae at her, as if in greeting, and she gasped involuntarily.
"Oh!"
Suddenly, unexpectedly, from the other end of the glass case, an outpouring of ants flooded from the checkered hill and cascaded down towards the colony of spotted ants. The latter scattered away in terrified clusters, herding the smaller ones into their lairs and scuttling toward shelter beneath pebbles. Robust spotted ants burst from the dirt and arranged themselves in smart lines. Presently they began to march towards the approaching rush of enemies.
Rapt, Alice pressed her nose up against the glass. "Oh, Cat, do make them stop! They shall hurt each other!"
"Yes, perhaps they shall."
"Then why do you let them fight?"
"Formica formicae lupus, my dear: ant is wolf to ant. Or formica formicae formicaleo, if you prefer."
Alice irritably cast a look of impatience back at the Cat. "I wish you would stop using such roundabout language."
"And I wish you would start to think for yourself," the Cat replied tartly. "However will you learn if you cannot figure things out on your own?"
He paused to stretch languidly, and continued (even as Alice sputtered indignantly), "fighting is but a tool for them, a way of leverage to defend what they have and seek what they need."
"But if they are content to defend what they have-" Alice began.
The Cat interrupted disdainfully. "They will never be content. Colonies grow, affairs change, and they become restless. They fight, not only because it is necessary, but also out of choice: because it is the easiest way. It is easier to make war than attempt peace and risk having a smaller share- a smaller share of territory, or food, or rubble and dirt. A smaller share of whatever it is that they claim as their own."
"Oh," the Cat continued sleepily, "and it is much easier to simply dominate another than being forced to recognize them as an equal. Not to mention that they must keep the colony together, or else it will all tumble apart and London Bridge will fall."
As Alice did not fully understand this last part, she promptly ignored it. Instead, she turned back to the glass casing and was surprised to see the two armies were retreating, sharply marching back to their own sides.
"Oh, they've stopped-"
The Cat yawned widely. "Yes, but they'll be at it again shortly. They always are."
Alice nodded in silence.
After a long moment, she turned about. "Cat-" she began.
But he had fallen asleep, curled on his cushion, the tip of his striped tail barely twitching at the tip of nose.
Glancing around, Alice noticed for the first time a small cot in the corner of the room, and, finding herself unexpectedly tired, she tiptoed over to it.
"And I have no bedclothes!" She said to herself, (quietly, of course, so not to wake the Cat). "I suppose I shall have to make do."
After carefully placing her shoes by the bedside and folding her apron down across a wooden chair, she slid under the coverlet.
"Goodnight, Cat. Thank you." She whispered.
"Think nothing of it, dear." The answer came from the darkness as the lights dimmed and sky outside the window darkened.
Alice found herself soon drifting off into sleep, and dreamt pleasantly of ants taking their tea in the garden and chatting about the state of the world.
User Reviews
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2008-06-29 12:35:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Very good.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-04-09 03:32:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2008-03-27 17:22:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Better than your camwhore.
By far.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-03-27 17:03:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Lib (user info) at 2008-03-11 12:32:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-03-10 11:39:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2008-03-09 10:47:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I liked this very much. Thanks.
Submitted by wookie (user info) at 2008-03-07 20:58:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-03-07 20:53:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Brilliant.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2008-03-07 19:21:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by SkullBiter (user info) at 2008-03-07 18:18:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2008-03-07 17:54:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
shit guys
parts one and two:
I. http://www.ubersite.com/m/115367
II. http://www.ubersite.com/m/115416