You will not fucking believe what I got a ticket for today (2360 hits)
Category: PoliticsRating: 1.58 on 59 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Darth Famine <Dork Lord of the Uber> (View user info) at 2008-03-07 21:57:04 EST
So i'm driving my beat up old bronco through rural Georgia today when the good old faithful defenders of our legal system get behind me. I check everything out and keep driving.
Speeding?
Nope
Seat belt?
Nope I am buckled up
It's raining, are my wipers and lights on?
Yup
Am I weaving?
Nope
Ok I give up.
I turn into the bank and pull up to the ATM.
He circles the bank, pulls into the alley behind it and wait for me to finish at the ATM.
I pull out of the bank and make a right turn. He finally blue lights me.
By this time I am curious as to why he has been tailing me. I pull over, kill the engine and get my wallet out to wait.
He walks up and asks "Do you know why I pulled you over?"
"I haven't got a clue" I fail to mention the gun in my glove box or the fact that I have a carry permit for said gun.
"It's your bumper sticker."
"Which one?" I ask
"The fuck work one."
"You are joking right?"
"No you can't have that on your car."
I sit there in stunned silence while he goes to write me a citation.
He returns and hand me the ticket.
"You will have to take that off."
I manage to finally make my stunned mouth start working again
"I'm not trying to be a dick, but you do know I am going to beat that in court, thats freedom of speech, and this vehicle is my personal property. I can make any statement with it that I want to."
He smiles "I'm not trying to be a dick either but thats the law."
He walks back to his car.
I can't help it anymore, the laughter comes.
I sat there howling like a madman for at least five minutes before I can even attempt to go on about my business.
I can't wait until the court date, this is going to be funny as hell.
User Reviews
Submitted by Flack (user info) at 2008-04-07 23:17:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I once blew a hit of a joint in a cop's face.
I received a stern lecture and a 25 dollar ticket.
Ann Arbor, MI kicks ass!
Submitted by Glenn. (user info) at 2008-04-07 20:06:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for laughing at a cop.
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2008-03-11 23:50:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Darth_Famine (user info) at 2008-03-07 22:04:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
quite true, but in 1991 the state supreme court ruled that laws banning lewd or profane bumper stickers were unconstitutional.
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If they take it from an "offensive" or "hurtful" angle then they may skirt that ruling. This is one of the cases where PC nuts and bible thumpers converge. If they can make words like "nigger" illegal then they can apply it to anything offensive. I hope it gets tossed oout.
Let us know how it turn out.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2008-03-11 21:25:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
maybe you can get this all the way to the Supreme Court and be famous like that Roe chick on Roe v. Wade.
or was Wade the woman
well if nothing else you could end up like that Miranda rights guy or Amber from Amber alert
Submitted by Ejryuu (user info) at 2008-03-11 12:23:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I've never been a fan of bumper stickers. It kind of sucks that that this'll spend any time in the legal system and cost people money.
Submitted by sexualchocolate1984 (user info) at 2008-03-11 11:24:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Plus 2 for sort of sticking it to the man, or at least trying in quite a pathetic way.
But, bumper stickers are for pussyholes. You want to say something, fucking say it! Even better would be to grow some fucking balls and do it!
Don't just stick it on the back of your fucking car.
Loser.
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2008-03-11 10:37:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
awesome
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2008-03-11 09:39:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Your sticker's kind of crass, and unfunny, and I assume you work for a living so kind of redundant. We have twats over here with 'I fish I vote' stickers, fairies with 'magic happens' and knuckle dragging morons with 'i'm a plumber let me fix your pipes' or something. I'm pretty much in the bumper stickers suck balls camp, it's like sticking a billabong logo on your surfboard, but that cop should've pulled you up long before he did. If having an 'offensive' sticker on your car is against the law, trying to argue your case in court will be a waste of time. Sure the law is petty, but little kids see your sticker, and if that doesn't phase you *hang* the sticker, glue some porn on the back or your car - circumvent the internet and render content filters useless, and maybe download gore patches for paper mario and hand them out on cd's at parent and teacher meetings.
Get the fuck over your sticker, it's not like you were protecting harp seals. jesus. plus 2 because I suspect you typed this in the heat of the moment, and we've all been there.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-03-11 09:05:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-03-11 08:23:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WTF?!?!
This just wouldn't happen in England. Or having people write things on your car about how your goona go to hell and crap like that. It's just not cricket. What are these people thinking?
Crazy bastards.
Submitted by gonefiguring (user info) at 2008-03-10 23:20:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I printed a bumpersticker for my wife's car that says "TBI SUCKS". Her boss asked her to take it off. She did. B-(
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-03-10 12:54:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahahahahahaha.
Submitted by ubetidid (user info) at 2008-03-10 12:42:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yep, contact your ACLU lawyer
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2008-03-10 00:36:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Your bumper sticker sucks anyway.
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2008-03-09 15:22:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2008-03-08 17:56:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
bummer.
in soviet russia, work fucks you.
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Bahaha
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-03-09 12:29:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2008-03-08 17:56:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
bummer.
in soviet russia, work fucks you.
Submitted by HellRazer (user info) at 2008-03-08 16:39:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Gotta love those wonderful anti-obscenity laws we have. I'm not allowed to wear my "Slavery gets shit done." T-shirt in public. Fucking fascists.
Submitted by Darth_Famine (user info) at 2008-03-08 16:10:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
well I am white
http://www.ubersite.com/m/109107
Submitted by DarthAwesome (user info) at 2008-03-08 14:18:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Put an airborne or ranger bumper sticker on your car and you will never be pulled over in the south. As long as you don't have long hair (being white helps a lot too!).
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-03-08 14:15:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by BeforeEmily (user info) at 2008-03-08 09:46:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-03-08 06:28:22 PST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2008-03-08 06:04:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I have a Darwin fish on my car.
Last week someone wrote on the back window in whiteboard marker: "U R going 2 Hell"
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Darwin fish? Now what does that look like?
You just gave me a great idea - sell "anticrist fish", with satanic symbols. They'd be popular, I'm sure.
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It probably exists here already: http://www.evolvefish.com/fish/emblems.html
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Wow, the darwin fish is cool. Stupid people having ideas before I do >_>
Submitted by snagglepuss (user info) at 2008-03-08 12:22:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-03-08 10:24:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I read something about truckers who adorn their bumpers with fake testicles, and how the decorations are becoming bigger and bigger and therefore, increasingly offensive. I believe it's now been introduced as a bill to ban them to protect the children.
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Good 'Ol Boy Early Cuyler (of Squidbillies)had a set of big red ones on his 4 x 4...........
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2008-03-08 11:48:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm fairly sure that "freedom of speech" rule doesn't actually apply.
Submitted by nathanscivic (user info) at 2008-03-08 11:23:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Funny.
Submitted by Kopesh (user info) at 2008-03-08 11:21:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
living in America.....
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2008-03-08 10:54:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-03-08 10:24:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I read something about truckers who adorn their bumpers with fake testicles, and how the decorations are becoming bigger and bigger and therefore, increasingly offensive. I believe it's now been introduced as a bill to ban them to protect the children.
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i wonder what they need to be protected from? i can see a small boy looking at a pair of truck nuts and saying to himself, "hey, i have those too!". yeah, we really need to protect the children....
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-03-08 10:24:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I read something about truckers who adorn their bumpers with fake testicles, and how the decorations are becoming bigger and bigger and therefore, increasingly offensive. I believe it's now been introduced as a bill to ban them to protect the children.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2008-03-08 10:18:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-03-07 23:25:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for having a loaded gun in your car.
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hahahahaha
i think the joke about the Constitution being applicable was lost on someone below that doesn't realize Georgia is also a country. They are part of the coalition forces in Iraq, FYI.
anyway, that is one bullshit ticket. i'm gonna start putting offensive bumper stickers on my cars now.
Submitted by BeforeEmily (user info) at 2008-03-08 09:46:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-03-08 06:28:22 PST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2008-03-08 06:04:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I have a Darwin fish on my car.
Last week someone wrote on the back window in whiteboard marker: "U R going 2 Hell"
-----------
Darwin fish? Now what does that look like?
You just gave me a great idea - sell "anticrist fish", with satanic symbols. They'd be popular, I'm sure.
---
It probably exists here already: http://www.evolvefish.com/fish/emblems.html
Submitted by beer-turtle (user info) at 2008-03-08 09:36:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
You in Jawjah boy
weah do thangs diffently down heah
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-03-08 09:28:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2008-03-08 06:04:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I have a Darwin fish on my car.
Last week someone wrote on the back window in whiteboard marker: "U R going 2 Hell"
-----------
Darwin fish? Now what does that look like?
You just gave me a great idea - sell "anticrist fish", with satanic symbols. They'd be popular, I'm sure.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2008-03-08 06:04:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I have a Darwin fish on my car.
Last week someone wrote on the back window in whiteboard marker: "U R going 2 Hell"
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-03-08 05:38:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I got a ticket for Bristol City Versus Watford on Tuesday, thats better
Submitted by HateMudkips (user info) at 2008-03-08 00:08:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Only in Amerikkka!
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-03-07 23:25:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for having a loaded gun in your car.
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-03-07 23:24:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for having a carry permit
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2008-03-07 22:59:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2008-03-07 22:56:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That's funny as hell.
$20 says the cop wins in court. haha.
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another $20 says he doesn't show
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2008-03-07 22:56:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That's funny as hell.
$20 says the cop wins in court. haha.
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2008-03-07 22:50:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I think if I were a cop, I'd pull over all the libs with zany leftist bumper stickers, hoping I could watch a nice ETS-like rant once I started writing the ticket.
I wouldn't do it with the right-leaning chaps, because they are more prone to violence.
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2008-03-07 22:48:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Also, why do you drive a Ford Tempest?
Submitted by Antioxident (user info) at 2008-03-07 22:46:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I have a some stickers on my car that are probably offensive, but no cops in maryland seem to care.
"EXPECT RESISTENCE. The future is unwritten" on the top of my rear window.
"They dont give a fuck about you" right above my volvo logo on the back hatch
A larger "Casualties" sticker that i put on top of where the previous owner had an American flag.
I've been pulled over twice for speeding and I've only gotten warnings so I guess that says something about law enforcement
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2008-03-07 22:39:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
FUCK SALT!
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2008-03-07 22:36:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-03-07 22:20:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"FREEDOM OF SPEECH SHOULDN'T APPLY TO PEOPLE LIKE YOU!"
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Stunning. It shouldn't be anymore, but it never fails to amaze.
Several years ago when I was getting laid off by the gov't, there was a job opening in my field in Missouri. I thought about applying. Then I though, "nah."
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-03-07 22:35:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
They hand out FUCK BUSH bumper stickers in downtown San Francisco all the time.
Took the gay guys a while to figure it out. Now they all have them.
Looking forward to an update.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2008-03-07 22:34:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It's cool that he had to hide behind the gas station before pulling you over. Guarantee, he was calling up his sergeant to ask if he can give you a ticket for that bullshit.
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2008-03-07 22:33:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
:)
Do keep us updated on this.
Submitted by BranDo (user info) at 2008-03-07 22:28:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't believe you.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-03-07 22:20:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
A woman I work with moved here from Philadelphia. She's very outspoken and has numerous bumper stickers all over her car. Anti Bush stickers, Pro Choice stickers, Anti Religion stickers, and so on.
She was telling me that she and her husband were here less than a week when some woman ran up to them in the parking lot of a resteraunt and proceeded to start screaming at them.
She told me the woman was almost frothing at the mouth and had hatred in her eyes. She told them they were going to hell, that they were horrible people, that they should be thrown in jail, that they shouldn't be allowed on the roads, etc.
Tara was absolutely floored that the woman got that upset over some (admittedly) strong bumper stickers. Tara said something about free speech to the woman and about fell over at the woman's response.
"FREEDOM OF SPEECH SHOULDN'T APPLY TO PEOPLE LIKE YOU!"
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2008-03-07 22:17:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-03-07 22:10:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Besides the long hair and purple sunglasses, what else were you wearing?
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Honestly, I was wearing a tie-die shirt with anarchic slogans written in Italian...made for me by a hot (except for the big boobs) Italian chick.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2008-03-07 22:14:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
FG - It was west of Springfield, just cross the OK border...probably worse than the Rolla area.
A couple of friends of mine got drunk and went streaking across a golf course, only to find a cop waiting at their car when they got back. The quote from the cop, in slow southern accent: "Are you bo-oys ho-mo-sex-u-uuuullls?"
Submitted by Darth_Famine (user info) at 2008-03-07 22:10:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2008-03-07 22:05:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
this i did not know
obviously
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To be fair neither did I until I got home and started googling
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-03-07 22:10:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2008-03-07 21:02:32 CST (#)
Ranking: 1
Depends on the statutes where you got pulled over, I imagine. Free speech isn't absolute (he said tritely and gayley). Still, sympathy point. I got pulled over for having long hair and purple sunglasses once in Missouri once.
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Boy, you ought to be praisin' Jesus you got off that easy.
Missourah rednecks don't take kindly to them long haired hippie types.
What were you thinking?!
Hahahahaha.
It was down near Rolla, wasn't it?
Besides the long hair and purple sunglasses, what else were you wearing?
Submitted by Darth_Famine (user info) at 2008-03-07 22:09:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-03-07 22:06:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Wait. You're in Georgia. Does the U.S. Constitution apply?
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Hmm I dunno, I might be better off under the confederate constitution
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-03-07 22:06:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Wait. You're in Georgia. Does the U.S. Constitution apply?
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2008-03-07 22:05:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Darth_Famine (user info) at 2008-03-07 22:04:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
quite true, but in 1991 the state supreme court ruled that laws banning lewd or profane bumper stickers were unconstitutional.
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this i did not know
obviously
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2008-03-07 22:04:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
sorry
Submitted by Darth_Famine (user info) at 2008-03-07 22:04:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
quite true, but in 1991 the state supreme court ruled that laws banning lewd or profane bumper stickers were unconstitutional.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2008-03-07 22:04:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
gayly -nope
gayley -nope
gaylie -nope
gayishly -nope
fagly -nope
gaily -oh there we go. I was beginning to think there wasn't a word.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2008-03-07 22:02:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Depends on the statutes where you got pulled over, I imagine. Free speech isn't absolute (he said tritely and gayley). Still, sympathy point. I got pulled over for having long hair and purple sunglasses once in Missouri once.