Nieve Youth... Carry on. (895 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.44 on 41 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by ? (View user info) at 2008-03-08 02:40:47 EST
I looked at his photograph.
He was young. Probably about 20 years old at the time.
His jacket had the collared flipped up. Cocky, that's the way I will always remember him.
I looked over at the rest of them. Trying to fill their minds with mindless drivel to quail the pain that I know they felt.
I thought of the times he thought me how to shoot and also how I used to go over and touch all his metals. I used to put on his hat and his shoes and walk around as if I was a soldier storming the hills of Normandy or else some other fabricated place.
I recall him scoffing at the thought of someone speaking of pain and death. Sometimes he would get real quite and call for me. When he got in his moods he would hold me and just rub my soft hair and then smile.
I was the only thing that could calm him down back then.
I longed to be what he was. I longed for the respect I assumed he had. The only problem was...
It came at a price. I'm sorry to say but the price was too high.
I couldn't pay it all so the debt amounted.
I have been off leave for a couple of months now. My father is perished now in the dust that is the past. We all go back to earth is what I have been told. I have been told that a real man is tough, strong, fights to the death, never cries and will always stay straight.
I recall when I was young and I cried to my father. He got so angry at me. He grabbed me and yelled for me to quit crying that instant. His outburst of rage scared me. He frightened me. He saw my face and saw the angst, fear, and pain in my face.
He broke down. This mountain of a man and just hugged me until I couldn't breath. He cried at that moment. He cried for a good hour and just held me. I was startled at being the age of 14 at the time.
He cried and just held me. I figured he had wanted to cry many times before but he wasn't allowed to, or socially permitted to. My grandfather was a hardass as well. He took it out on my dad pretty bad with the drunken rage.
I couldn't understand the scenario at the time. But I made him proud I joined the force,
I recall him speaking to me about the past and he would always say some words to me.
"Carry on, just carry on."
I told him I would. I will carry on for you poppa. I will never forget your legacy and I will take our family name to the plaques in Washington and make sure that our name is entrenched in this history.
-----
The boy looked down at the photo and he began to weep. He had to brave and strong. He had to seize this day. He had to respect the fallen and also run with the living. To a grave none of them could wish for.
He had been altered in a way that he could never get back. He wanted to impress his father. He had to carry on so the others knew. He had grown up in his age and had become a man.
As he longed for the years of youth the picture gave him courage. He picked up his semi automatic rifle kissed his picture and put it in his breast plate. He found courage to carry on.
He walked back into the battle field with his gear ready for a battle. But this time he knew he would be protected his fathers love will never leave him
He had become a man. But at what price he thought?
The price has been paid in full he thought to himself. I have to lead this black parade of death, pain and suffering. I was born for this. He promised his father that he would carry on. He must carry on. He swore he would carry on.
He cried his last tear that day. As he swore that he would carry on for his pop. So he did.
BOOM!
User Reviews
Submitted by gonefiguring (user info) at 2008-03-10 23:10:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Perkman is not a 'tard. If he's a real poster, he's just a careless lazy idiot. But I don't think he's anything other than an alter at all. Doesn't matter whose.
Tards try to improve and do well, if only to please or get some positive reaction. Perkman won't expend the effort, proving that he's an alter (which is most likely) or just a useless bag of emo turd.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-03-10 22:24:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2008-03-10 00:16:12 CDT (#)
Ranking: 0
because its too stupid - its cliche stupid. its like fat tony - which was very well maintained for a while, till it got handed off to some others who were not as good at staying in character.
fat tony was real
lol
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-03-10 12:12:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i usually only come to your posts for the reviews, but today i'd like to offer a pointer.
the intentional grammatical and spelling errors are getting a bit heavy handed, don't you think? for future issues i'd suggest toning it down a bit.
a lot of poor spellers will actually spell longer words or those that are not as common correctly when they write. the reason being that they know they spell poorly and so look up these words to prevent the mistakes from showcasing their ignorance.
the idea is to misspell common or simple words, those most people would feel comfortable with and not bother to check up on.
(this is all only relevant if you are an alter of course, and not really some chromosomally challenged baseball player. personally, i prefer to think you are real, though you probably are not, because then this is all just so much more amusing to me. if you are a real boy [crosses fingers] then just disregard this alter-management centered advice and carry on as if i had said something of an insulting nature)
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2008-03-10 11:16:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Sorry, Bobby. I can accept that some people have issues with spelling. That someone's spelling would grow consistently worse over time? That's Flowers for Algernon kinda stuff. So either this kid's make believe or he'll need a drool cup in a week.
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2008-03-10 08:14:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-03-10 01:27:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2008-03-10 01:16:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
because its too stupid - its cliche stupid. its like fat tony - which was very well maintained for a while, till it got handed off to some others who were not as good at staying in character.
---
YOU ARE STUPID.
BOOM!
ANOTHER WIN!
I'M ON FUCKING FIRE TONIGHT!
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2008-03-10 01:16:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
because its too stupid - its cliche stupid. its like fat tony - which was very well maintained for a while, till it got handed off to some others who were not as good at staying in character.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-03-10 00:29:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Why would anyone think this kid is an alter?
mouth breather
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V
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2008-03-10 00:07:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
yay for alters.
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2008-03-09 21:53:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well, Danger, 'nieve' is Spanish for snow. Maybe he was saying how fleeting youth can be, like snow melting upon the ground. And, by doing so, maybe, just maybe, he is the SMARTEST MAN ALIVE.
Submitted by Lib (user info) at 2008-03-09 21:41:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
This could have been so good : (
Submitted by pandora (user info) at 2008-03-09 17:40:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2008-03-08 03:58:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You know Perkman, up until this post I was pretty sure you were an alter, but after 'nieve' I'm convinced you're just retarded. I highly doubt you go to college, and for the life of me wonder how you sailed through your education with only a limited grasp on one of any languages' most base elements. Rather than check the spelling of a word you were unsure of, you sounded it out phonectially like a first grader, smiled smugly at how simple spelling was and *convinced* you were right never looked back. That is more an indication of your stupidity than your spelling. And it's the give a fuck attitude that gets my goat. Don't you care that you might go through life looking stupid? Start applying yourself Perkman, it's embarrassing.
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Jeez, Danger_Ranger, don't be so buyist.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2008-03-09 12:22:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
heh.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2008-03-09 07:37:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
lol you're like an athletic Electro, it's awesome
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-03-09 06:47:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2008-03-08 19:19:18 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Would be more amusing if the alterivity weren't obvious.
Submitted by HellRazer (user info) at 2008-03-08 18:31:54 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You used a lot of the wrong words in this. I almost stopped at "quail the pain" but was able to soldier on to "thought me how to shoot". Then I stopped, I hope for your sake that you did this on purpose and I just missed the sybolism here.
Submitted by BadSamaritan87 (user info) at 2008-03-08 16:50:13 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-03-08 13:48:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i did read teh reviews though.
ace
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-03-08 13:45:29 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
didn't read it
Submitted by Antioxident (user info) at 2008-03-08 11:34:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
come on perkman
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-03-08 09:30:25 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You sir are a tard, fuck you and your spaces between lines. It isn't cool and it doesn't make your post any longer.
Submitted by Fartman (user info) at 2008-03-08 09:10:49 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Nieve? Ahahahahahahahahaha. I dub thee: Sir Perkman, King of The Retards.
Now, go forth. Fail miserably, and never ever multiply.
Submitted by BranDo (user info) at 2008-03-08 09:03:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Reading 25 lines of text where 12 lines start with "I" and 7 lines with "he" is spectacular!!
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-03-08 08:29:05 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Fuck off fuck off fuck off.
Are you 12? Is that it? Are you 12 years of age?
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-03-08 05:37:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
danger rangers very wise
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2008-03-08 05:30:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Perkman taking advice from steak would be like Forrest Gump turning up in Vietnam and finding Electro instead of Gary Sinise. He's a dolt.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-03-08 04:55:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
THAT'S RIGHT PERKY.
You tellum.
Submitted by PerkMan (user info) at 2008-03-08 04:29:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
That's a little rough ilikesteak. A little rough.
But so is uber, fuck it. I come here to write. I think its good and so do my friends and some teachers. So if you guys don't like it. Whatever.
Enjoy what I give you. Enjoy what I give you.
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2008-03-08 04:13:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I honestly have no real faith in you as a writer whatsoever. Sure, you could write something worthwhile, because I see a little potential here, but not potential as a writer.
At this point, I'm just trying to convince myself that you aren't a glaring example of the failures of the schooling system.
This is not College Writing. All I expect of you is to have an almost basic grasp on English 101. Look at some of the stuff here that people love. Since when was a MS-Painted picture of the sun with the repeated denotation of "fusion" complicated or hard to understand?
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2008-03-08 04:11:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-03-08 04:05:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2008-03-08 04:04:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I was at one point the highest score on that pipes game.
---
SCORE!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
HELL YEA!
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-03-08 04:05:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2008-03-08 04:04:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I was at one point the highest score on that pipes game.
---
SCORE!
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2008-03-08 04:04:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Perky, it's not your writing I'm getting on you about. The actual writing here was slightly below average. Seriously, if you're going to keep hitting at the same dead horse, just sign up for LiveJournal. At least then you'd be in the proper category of website.
It's the stupid, preventable shit that gets in the way of me reading some of your actual writing, without at some point questioning if you're missing a chromosome, or suffered blunt force trauma to the head as a child.
It's the Argblargs thing. However it's spelled, I've got the idea that it was you who introduced me to it, although I've long since stopped playing, as I can't remember my password. That's why I'm constantly trying to fix you in some way. Also, I was at one point the highest score on that pipes game.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-03-08 04:03:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I just find you highly entertaining Perkman.
To date, I have never even read beyond a few paragraphs of your shit before I usually get bored or easily distracted by shiny things.
That you keep spewing out this comically terrible, barely readable sludge is simply fantastic.
If you wanna waste your time you go for it sunshine.
I think you have potential, but you really do drown in your own massive suck.
BRAVO.
Submitted by PerkMan (user info) at 2008-03-08 04:02:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Danger Ranger- that was the most accurate protrayel of me on this site so far. It had me rolling with laughter. I do have a give a fuck attiude. I'm just lazy really. But I should try more but I feel it would be like my honors english class. Screw! That shit is hard. So I treat this place like AIM I guess. I should give more of a shit huh?
But that was funny and you are accurate. I'm a brash,stupid fuck. But my Mommy loves me!
haha I really do apologize guys for the shitty posts and grammar. I should really give a shit.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2008-03-08 03:58:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I cannot read this without an accompanying song.
You know Perkman, up until this post I was pretty sure you were an alter, but after 'nieve' I'm convinced you're just retarded. I highly doubt you go to college, and for the life of me wonder how you sailed through your education with only a limited grasp on one of any languages' most base elements. Rather than check the spelling of a word you were unsure of, you sounded it out phonectially like a first grader, smiled smugly at how simple spelling was and *convinced* you were right never looked back. That is more an indication of your stupidity than your spelling. And it's the give a fuck attitude that gets my goat. Don't you care that you might go through life looking stupid? Start applying yourself Perkman, it's embarrassing.
Submitted by PerkMan (user info) at 2008-03-08 03:47:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
ilikesteak- You get on me about my writing. I guess you think I have some talent. Thanks for that. I will try and put more effort. Honest injun!
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2008-03-08 03:12:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Perky, what did I tell you about the "Hey everyone, -2 me, because you were going to anyway" thing you do, and how you should stop?
Bubba offered to proof read for you. The guy's devoid of most humor, but damn it all, he can proof read. Proof reading being something you desperately need. Why would you turn that down?
I was, yet again, unimpressed. Branch out perky. Do something different for once.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2008-03-08 03:09:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Juan Nieves was such a naive youngster in his day.
Submitted by PerkMan (user info) at 2008-03-08 02:50:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
This was cool I guess.
Submitted by PerkMan (user info) at 2008-03-08 02:43:53 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
YOU SUCK THERE ARE ERRORS IN THIS! STFU RETARD!!!