Land of the Lost (649 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 1.41 on 41 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (View user info) at 2008-03-13 10:08:59 EDT
The war resumes in earnest once we're back on the battlefield, more often than not we're kept separated with only our mates to keep us company, these respites from battle offer us a great opportunity to reacquaint ourselves with our partners. Often we'll lay at home locked in an embrace until it's time to rise and do our work. We work side by side with our mates but rarely get to have more than brief contact. Walking everywhere we talk to each other about our plans and hopes for the future knowing it's all really up to the master.
The master, a cruel but loving leader, he determines our fates. After our day's work he sends us to the crowded place, so crowded that we're pressed against all around us in such a way that we can't possibly hope to reach our mates unless the master has put us together. Worse still is the master's casual demand that we return to the battlefield before finally getting to embrace our partners. Worst of all though is that the master does not care if we return to our original mates. Instead he randomly pairs us and we just have to accept it and, in the words of an old song, love the ones we're with.
It's a cruel existence but one I've endured for a long time. I've been to battle more than seventy times and each time takes just a little more out of me. I've lost close friends in the jumbled frenzied tumble of battle and worst I've lost mates.
The master relentlessly throws us into the fray and soon after the world begins to spin and bounce us around as we fight to maintain a hold on life. Most of the time when the sorting is done we find that everyone has survived battle. Sometimes the master sends the wounded and worn out to their final resting places. Finally there are those rare few who never return from battle confounding the master and bringing sorrow to all that knew them. The master curses these lost and wayward souls but he knows not the agony of the lost.
For I am one of those now after lengthy and faithful service to the master. I know he will curse me rather than mourn me and frankly, after reaching this land, I could care less. You see, I have made it to the land of the lost, a wonderous and joyful place where we are free to choose our own mates, free from the burdens imposed by our cruel master, free to love and experience life without fear of another battle. Whether this place has a real name or not is debatable but I lovingly refer to my new home, my escape from the tyranny of the master, as the land of the lost socks.
User Reviews
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2008-03-14 00:05:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for Will Farrell being in the Land Of The Lost remake coming out.
It's going to suck hardcore balls.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-03-13 17:33:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-03-13 14:18:00 GMT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was nice
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Submitted by triangle_man (user info) at 2008-03-13 17:03:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I still lust for Holly.....
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2008-03-13 15:21:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
:D
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2008-03-13 15:08:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-03-13 11:14:53 CDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I might be willing to wear silly socks like that but I do not own any. i do have big feet being 6' 5" but don't need wide or xtra wide.
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Hey, I bet you have the same shoe shopping problems that I do! Long, skinny feet makes finding dress shoes difficult, doesn't it?
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-03-13 14:08:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Ha ha. Nice looking sock.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-03-13 14:05:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 LISHY JUST GOT PROMOTED WOO
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2008-03-13 13:33:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
()):-{||||||>
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2008-03-13 13:32:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WEEEEEEP
YOU SUCK!!! ACHMED WILL GET YOU!!! ()):-{<|||>
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-03-13 13:10:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
fascinating idear
Submitted by Socialist_Joe (user info) at 2008-03-13 12:55:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
if i pulled off the girl pants and a tweety shirt that one day
i think you could pull the hat
i even got a biddys number in the girl pants and tweety shirt
albiet it was harder than usual
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-03-13 12:40:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
not sure i could pull the hat off. someone of your demure stature could for sure though. especially if you sewed a rancid patch on the front.
Submitted by Socialist_Joe (user info) at 2008-03-13 12:37:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
purple and pink stripes maybe some other colour
how should i know its not really my hat
i got it from a freaky girl
damn
you just made me realize that half the shit i own
maybe more isnt mine
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-03-13 12:28:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Actually, I bet you also own a hat that looks like that too, Slim.
Submitted by Socialist_Joe (user info) at 2008-03-13 12:26:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i have shit that i didnt take on purpose
just kinda took out of need
like shirts
cause i couldn' find mine
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-03-13 12:25:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
damn panty raiding dogs. I've known someone who had a shitzu that would always steal panties if they were accessible. damn horn dog
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-03-13 12:19:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2008-03-13 10:18:58 CDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey Flash do you like take a 'Souvenir' from conquests? Like a sock and take it home to put in your 'special' sock drawer?
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A male friend of mine has a panty collection. Apparently his dog likes to steal the panties of his conquests.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-03-13 12:14:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
eat a dick little man.
I might be willing to wear silly socks like that but I do not own any. i do have big feet being 6' 5" but don't need wide or xtra wide.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-03-13 12:07:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I bet you own a pair of socks like that.
Only in "extra wide".
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2008-03-13 11:44:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I could answer that but people might think I'm a wee bit weird, heaven forbid people on the internet think me as being Odd.
No I dont wear em, I dont even take them. Never kept souvenirs actually. Probably a good thing really I wouldnt have a shoe box small enough.
sniff
*Cue sympathy*
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-03-13 11:36:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
haha, good point i suppose, i guess i hadn't considered using the item afterward. does this mean you often wear mismatched socks?
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2008-03-13 11:31:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well there is no point taking Panties, i would never be able to get those on my fat ass. Unless I change the profile of the laydees I look for hmmm?
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-03-13 11:22:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
drogo, that's kind of an entertaing, albeit disturbing idea. you take a sock though? somehow i doubt that's your souvenier.
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2008-03-13 11:18:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey Flash do you like take a 'Souvenir' from conquests? Like a sock and take it home to put in your 'special' sock drawer?
No?
No me neither, that would be weird.
Friend of mine told me about it.
Definately wasnt me.
Someone else.
Definately. oh my look at the time.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-03-13 11:11:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't care. I love 'em.
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2008-03-13 11:10:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Is it just me or does the Comment below sound kind of creepy?
Creepy Flash, Creepy
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-03-13 10:49:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I love socks.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-03-13 10:44:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
This was a bit boring however I hate the fucking sock monster that steals mine out of the washing/drying cycle.
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2008-03-13 10:43:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
YAY!!!
*Spins and skips, in a manly way*
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2008-03-13 10:33:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Drogo, this,
http://www.ubersite.com/m/115514#2670028
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-03-13 10:33:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome.
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2008-03-13 10:31:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
for the kids.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sleestak#Sleestak
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-03-13 10:30:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Am I the only one that noticed if you replace "battlefield" with "cottonfield", this sounds an awful lot like America in the early 1800s? Don't even get me started on the late 1700s
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2008-03-13 10:29:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh Oh
*Waves hand frantically*
A weird green dude from an equally weird tv show of the same name as this post.
What do I win?
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-03-13 10:27:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I loves me the Sleestaks! Creepy fuckers.
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2008-03-13 10:26:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ok, Show of hands.
Who else here knows what a Sleestak is, besides Me and Skrap?
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-03-13 10:18:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
:)
Slut
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-03-13 10:18:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
All my socks are the same colour and size. That's all I have to say really.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-03-13 10:18:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was nice
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-03-13 10:17:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
An interesting diversion, but showed a distict lack of Sleestaks.
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2008-03-13 10:14:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hehehehehe poor socks. my lovely lady has so many socks yet still can never find a matching pair.
Anyway shameless link whore for no reason: http://www.ubersite.com/m/97359