Re: The Rotting Reprise of my future (443 hits)
Category: Politics -> RepublicansRating: 1.6 on 6 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Fungah (View user info) at 2008-03-13 16:13:28 EDT
A friend of mine wrote something and posted it into facebook. I responded to it. I'm attaching both. And if you're reading this, Fil. GO TOPES! WOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
His:
How bad is it? In the United States, I mean. It's not to hard to find out; just read the paper or watch the good side of the news. Or, speak with any middle class American with a thumb over their head and a stranger's palm under their feet.
It's bad down there. It's really bad. Like the traditional role of the eldest son, it is nearly time to head home and take care of the future. The future is bleak. A tanking economy, jobs are scarce. Credit is a ghost and happiness is invisible.
How far will it go? Will it reach the horror stories of my great grandfather during the depression? Will my mother get sick from the cold of her own house, skinny from lack of nutrition, die from lack of health care? I can see it getting so bad that hopelessness replaces what I know as happiness. I walk out onto the thinning ice after a monster winter, finding relief in the cracking end. Finding relief in my lungs filling with water and my mind clearing of stress.
Will I kill over a can of kidney beans? Will I eat the flesh of a wolf I shot in my front lawn? I will crave the candy of meat, the protein that replaces the wood in the fireplace. How far can the country regress? I will become the bitter old man with a gun to old friends' heads. Friendship doesn't exist when struggle continues endlessly. It blurs the images of the past, begging for their life.
Tree bark tastes good; the constant chewing gives me a break from unconsciously eating my own tongue. Psychosis from mercury (from all the canned fish), diarrhea from water (polluted from competitors), graying skin and hair (no fresh fruit and vegetables have reached the Lakes Region sector in 2 months), and rage from the zeitgeist (most stay somber in the sinkholes of strife and struggle).
The idea of zombies is not that far off. The movies are the metaphor of the future. When the town finds out I've been hording 50 gallons of gasoline and 15 lbs. of beef, you better believe they'll come running with the rage virus for my possessions. They are drooling and morally blind, yet in tighter formation and fueled by famine. I will take out a few at the door, but eventually they will eat my body and the beef too. There is no law in desperation and no order in anarchy. In the future, the only law is the law of the gun. Capital Punishment is not an option, its a requirement of life.
Population control keeps the zombies at bay, away from the beef I stole from the government last month.
Will this be the end of my dreams? Will this snuff those idealistic dreams of becoming something great? Probably. Will I be able to live with this? Probably.
Mine:
How bad is it? In New Zealand, I mean. It's all there in black and white; just read the paper or watch propagandatube. Or, speak with any aristocratic kiwi with a condor over their head and a bag of spoiled fruit under their slippers.
It's bad over here. It's really bad. Like the traditional kiwi role of Superman, it is nearly time to head home and beat the ever-loving shit out of the proverbial Adolf Hitler. The future is a rotting septic tank brimming with brine srhimp. A tanking economy, jobs are scarce. Credit is a ghost in the shell and happiness is an invisible dragon ball.
How far will it go? Will I have to suck off my great uncle Willy just to put a smile on my mentally challenged cousin Wilbur's drooping face? Will I have to dismember my mother and sell her body parts to pay for fire wood? I can see it getting so bad that chef Boyardee goes out business, repents, and disembowels himself with a can opener.The iorny would be almost delicious as his satisfying, over-stuffed beef ravioli, for a fraction of the price.There'd be no relief though. Only a stomach yearning for that next delicious spoon-full of MSG'd up pasta.
How many times have I killed over a can of kidney beans? How many times have I eaten the flesh of kids that have stepped gingerly over the "do not walk on grass" sign on my front lawn? I will crave these golden times in this bleak future, yearning for the delicatessen scent of fresh meat to replace the steady diet of pine and poplar we've been forced to consume. How far can the country regress? I will become the bitter old man with a gun to old friends' heads. It will never be the same as it was in the old days though, and we'll both know it.
Tree bark tastes good; the constant chewing gives me a break from unconsciously eating my own tongue. Psychosis from mercury (never play truth or dare with a hatter), diarrhea from water (never play truth or dare around a cess pool), graying skin and hair (never play truth or dare in a chalk factory), and rage from the zeitgeist (Ouija board in haunted clock shop).
Zombies are not far off. I've seen Evil Dead fourteen times this week and I think I've figured out where the Necronomicon is. When the town finds out about my research, you'd better believe they'll come running with the rage virus for my possession. The failures of the past give me hope for the future, the zombies will kill correct my failed experiments, they have to. They will be drooling and morally blind, but I will love my zombie pets. I will give them names like buttercup and fluffy. I will take them out to the door, because they pooped everywhere and it smells like beef too. There is no law in desperation and no order in anarchy. In the future, we will wear pants on our head and t-shirts on our waists. Capital Punishment will replace the price is right as New Zealand's number one day-time game show. More fuel for the zombie fire.
Nothing can keep the zombies at bay.
Do they know how bad New Zealand is getting? Will my beloved kiwi snuff films be outlawed? Probably. Will I be able to live with this? Probably not. My only protection from the future is the zombie horde. The other options are unthinkable.
Groovy.
User Reviews
Submitted by HellRazer (user info) at 2008-03-15 22:01:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-03-13 16:48:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You should tell your friend to suck on a "bang stick."
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Boom stick, dude. Boom stick.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-03-13 17:54:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-03-13 16:58:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-03-13 16:46:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
well, to be fair, sacrilicious would leave a very nice and relevant comment. she's a peach.
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Aww..you know me so well.
But fuck relevance..I JUST GOT A PROMOTION, BIATCHES
I'll read this and respond properly at my next opportunity.
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Fungah: Great post!
Saccy: Congratulations. Send money. :)
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-03-13 16:58:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-03-13 16:46:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
well, to be fair, sacrilicious would leave a very nice and relevant comment. she's a peach.
===
Aww..you know me so well.
But fuck relevance..I JUST GOT A PROMOTION, BIATCHES
I'll read this and respond properly at my next opportunity.
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-03-13 16:48:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You should tell your friend to suck on a "bang stick."
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-03-13 16:46:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
well, to be fair, sacrilicious would leave a very nice and relevant comment. she's a peach.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-03-13 16:42:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
apparently they aren't here, so i'll take care of it for them:
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-03-13 16:34:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2008-03-13 16:34:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment