I took a free online IQ test... (846 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 0.25 on 25 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Isaac Tootin (View user info) at 2008-03-14 20:19:57 EDT
I definitely took a free online IQ test. Do you know what my IQ was? Fuck I don't either because it was the biggest pile of horse shit I ever wasted my life on. It's not like I don't spend my fair share of time wasting my existence but this offered no payoff. Only rage. And the only tangible thing it offered for me to focus my rage on was a little picture of Einstein sitting in a rocking chair. Look, I like Einstein but if he walked in my room right now I would punch a fork into his heart and play in his blood. I'm so angry.
I never took a real IQ test before but I'm pretty sure it doesn't ask you if you would like a 3 dollar gift certificate to Long John Silvers after every question. This one did. It also asked if I wanted auto insurance, a free ipod, and 85 other fucking bullshit scamvertisements. I fought valiantly through an onslaught of pop ups and survey questions to actually complete the exam. It was thirty question and I'm pretty sure I got at least 29 of them right if not all of them. So my IQ may be higher than any other human being on the planet. But when I submit the test and try to find out my score it first makes me respond to various online offers. Would you like a larger penis or would you like to continue with your current small penis for the time being. Small penis please. Insurance? No. Weekend in Vegas? Not right now. Dinner plates with your face on them? Why would I want that? Mobile Pringle holder for your belt? No please, no. And this continued for about 10 ads. Then it gave you a check list of other special offers. There was about 30 items and you had to click no for all of them if you didn't want them. And half of them already had a preset "yes" answer submitted. What the fuck. So I spent 6 or so minutes clicking no for everything then I continued. Then it gives you a list of 60 offers that you have to say no to. And being the dumb asshole that I am I did it. Every one of them! All sixty. Can I just see my IQ please? But no fuck yourself. After all that it tells me I have to click yes on at least one of them! Normally I wouldn't care but did I mention it made you put in your address, e-mail, home phone, gender, birth date and zip before it even let you take the test? Well it did! And now it forces you to sign up for some random bullshit. And still I march on! Partly because I am just continuing out of contempt for my computer screen and part because I obviously entered all false information when I registered. I wonder if anyone really lives in Buttlickington Pennsylvania? Anyway I pick an offer that says I can get a 50 dollar voucher if I convey my allegiance to the taste gods of either Burger King or McDonalds. But then they want me to fill out shit there too. What is your dogs name so the mail man can pet him when we send your fifty bucs? Eat my whole ass!
At this stage I simply can't take anymore punishment so I close the window and almost cry. I spent more than a half an hour answering questions! I gave my self a stomach ache I was so mad. And I have no IQ score to show for it. I got all their questions right so I probably would have had a really impressive score. Something like 220 possibly. Yet, I spent a half an hour clicking "no thanks" to hundreds of advertisements. I think that is the real IQ test part of this so called IQ test. If given an infinite number of internet advertisements, how long will you click on them before you realize you have been fucked. I clicked for 32 minutes. I must have failed.
User Reviews
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-03-17 09:44:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
and failed?
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-03-16 18:11:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You seem to be a complete bitch. Also this was some of the most boring shit I've read. Ever. Also odds are 20 to 1 you're an alter.
Submitted by Tigre (user info) at 2008-03-15 22:31:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I wonder if anyone really lives in Buttlickington Pennsylvania?
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I do.
Actually, it's called Shippensburg. 11 miles north of Chambersburg, 30 miles south of Carlisle.
I did that shit once, but it wasn't for an IQ test. It was for points for a game I play, hobowars.com
Needless to say, that fake gmail account has about 3500 spam emails 2 days later, all for Mr. PPsuckerton who is 98 years old.
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-03-15 22:17:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What's the link to the test? I want to give it a try.
Submitted by rodyarask (user info) at 2008-03-15 21:45:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-03-14 20:32:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I bet you it told you that GIGANTIC PARAGRAPHS were the true sign of genius.
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Shlongy, I see that you're still a piece of shit. Congratulations.
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2008-03-15 19:37:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
This amused me, and I like Buttlickington Pennsylvania to go with my fake street address, 123 Asskick street.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-03-15 19:24:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-03-14 20:46:19 CDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-03-14 21:31:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
this is brilliant. why the negative rating?
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You got a lower score on the test than the poster, huh? """
yeah, okay, einstein
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-03-15 18:31:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I thought this was fantastic.
Submitted by pandora (user info) at 2008-03-15 18:21:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You got it right in the last four sentences. You were just butt-raped by marketing bots.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2008-03-15 12:50:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Hey, I just saw a review that you left on one of my posts and I have a query.
You went on to say: "Yeah, this is happening".
I was just curious as to exactly what "this" is? I pondered it for a little while and, just between you and me, I even ran it through Google but nothing came back with a legitimate explanation.
Can you please clarify it for me?
What exactly is "this"?
I'm intrigued.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2008-03-15 12:24:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I don't even know what the ratings mean. As long as you enjoyed it, I'm happy.
Submitted by TheBrad (user info) at 2008-03-14 22:16:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If you took an iq test it would come up negative.
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-03-14 21:58:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by habib23 (user info) at 2008-03-14 21:49:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-03-14 21:46:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-03-14 21:31:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
this is brilliant. why the negative rating?
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You got a lower score on the test than the poster, huh?
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-03-14 21:31:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
this is brilliant. why the negative rating?
Submitted by stinkfish (user info) at 2008-03-14 21:24:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I visited some of your exquisite posts and awarded them with a most generous rating...
It rhymes with negative blue.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2008-03-14 21:15:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Whatever you did, I'm sure it was awesome based solely on what you've produced here.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2008-03-14 21:11:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You should be encouraged by the fact that there is only one direction you can go from here, you fucking pussy.
Submitted by stinkfish (user info) at 2008-03-14 21:11:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sphagnum there is a present for you on about your last 6 posts....
enjoy!
Submitted by stinkfish (user info) at 2008-03-14 21:06:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't think these comments are being given in a constructive manner. I thought this site was supposed to encourage independent writing? Or something.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2008-03-14 20:58:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Nobody gives a fuck about how stupid you are
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2008-03-14 20:38:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i took one that asked a nifty geometry question. it took me a couple of minutes to remember A squared + B squared = C squared, but when i did, i felt like a friggin' genius.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-03-14 20:36:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Your real score was 57.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-03-14 20:32:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I bet you it told you that GIGANTIC PARAGRAPHS were the true sign of genius.