The Accidental Escort (2) (1069 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: smut
Rating: 1.75 on 32 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Flash Harry (View user info) at 2008-03-17 08:46:10 EDT
Part 1 found here: http://www.ubersite.com/m/115536
*****
I hate it when a number I don't recognise rings my mobile. On this occasion, I was lying on the sofa, watching Richard & Judy and sipping a cold bottle of German lager. I stared at the phone, trying to figure out if the number meant anything to me at all. It didn't, and it might be someone important. The conversation flowed thusly:
Flash: Hello?
Busty: Hey darling. Remember me?
F: Um...sorry, who's this?
B: It's Busty, silly! The girl who rocked ya world last week! Hehe. What you up to?
F: Just...nothing really. Busty, how did you get my number?
B: I called your work and spoke to your boss. She gave it to me.
F: Wait...you called my office?
B: Yeah. You forgot to give me your number at the weekend. But you did tell me where you work, so I called them. Listen, I'm gonna come round later, if you're not too busy.
F: Well I don't have anything planned, but...sorry, why do you want to come here?
B: So you can lick my pussy again.
F: Oh, jeez. Listen Busty, I had a really, y'know, great time with you last week, but I'm not looking for a girlfriend or anything just now...okay?
B: Oh, don't be a silly sausage. I don't think my husband would take very kindly to me being your girlfriend now, would he? Tee-hee!
F: What the fuck did you say? Your husband? You didn't tell me you were married!
B: And you didn't tell me you were 22!
It's true, I'd lied about my age. But there was no way she could possibly know that.
F: ...how could you possibly know that?
B: I looked through your wallet and saw the date of birth on your driving license.
F: Jesus Christ...you're crazy, you know that? Listen, I don't want you coming round here, or calling my office again, or calling my mobile again! Okay? You're married, for God's sake.
B: Oh, calm down, poppet. My husband's in his sixties. He keeps me in nice shoes but, unfortunately, he can't make my toes curl in the bedroom anymore. Not like you can. So I'm coming round, alright?
F: Look. I don't wanna be the guy you cheat on your husband with. I never would've taken you home last week if I'd known. Just...buy some fucking viagra or something, can't you?
B: (suddenly serious) I've told my husband about it. He's more than happy with you doing it, as long as I'm kept happy. You wouldn't want me telling your boss about your cannabis habit, would you?
F: What? That's ridiculous, I don't have a 'habit'! I don't believe this. You're trying to blackmail me?
B: I don't want to, honey. I like you. Look...how much do you want?
F: Excuse me?
B: I told you, my husband's well off. Well, how much will it cost?
F: You want to pay me - to lick you out?
B: And fuck me. Basically, just to look after me until the morning. Do all the things you did last weekend. How much?
Well, how much would you ask for? I didn't have a clue what the going rate would be. I couldn't have her calling the office again though, even if I did doubt whether she would follow through with her threat. Mind you, it wasn't a risk worth taking.
F: How about you make me an offer?
B: Fine. £200 basic. Extras will be added depending on how well you treat me. Shall we set a ceiling of...£1000?
That's a lot of money to me. That's two month's rent. Plus, she'd been perfectly pleasant company the last time.
F: Christ. Um...yeah. Okay. What time?
B: I'll be round about 9. See you then, doll.
Once she'd hung up, I sat at the table and poured a generous whisky. What the hell had I agreed to? The whole thing sat most uncomfortably in my stomach, but I couldn't turn a grand down. Mind you, if I wasn't on my game it would only be £200. I had four hours to get ready before she arrived, so I drained my drink and set about earning my bonus.
First, a quick dash to the supermarket. My shopping list read:
Pinot Grigio, two bottles (chilled)
Pack of mussels, with white wine sauce
Ciabatta bread
Pack of 50 tea-candles
Two strawberry tarts (Tesco Finest)
Box of condoms
Yes, I did fuck her bareback last time, but given the new...circumstances, I thought it best to be safe.
Back from the shop, I put the food in the fridge and jumped in the shower. I washed thoroughly and trimmed my bits with my electric razor, so it was nicely framed. I thought about wet-shaving my face, but opted to keep the stubble.
Out of the shower, and I ironed a nice Ted Baker shirt someone bought me, and ran around the flat dotting the tea-light candles everywhere. I rolled a couple of joints for later, and put the oven on a low heat to warm the bread.
Half an hour before Busty was due, I put on a porn DVD and stroked out the easy one. There'd be nothing worse than her expecting a lothario lover, and being treated instead to 'two thrusts and a grunt'. Knocking one out now would hopefully avoid that. Once I'd wiped up, I wrapped an elastic band tightly around the base of my semi-hard dick.
Why? Well, some guy I was at Uni with claimed to have once been a male stripper, and this was apparently a little trick they use. Cutting off the blood-flow when the penis is swollen results in an impressively large flaccid-on. I wouldn't normally do this, I don't have wee-willy syndrome or anything, but since Busty was promising to pay more for effort, I thought it would be a nice surprise. It might even be the difference to get up to the grand.
The wine was in the fridge, candles flickered, and I was smartly dressed. I put a Beatles CD in the stereo, so that I just had to press play for 'Something' to come on.
At 9pm on the button, the buzzer rang. I took a last look around, and let her in.
Busty looked just lovely. She smacked a kiss on my cheek when she came in, and handed me her wet umbrella and coat to hang up.
"Hello darling!" she cooed, straightening my collar. "Well, don't you look fine."
"Hey babe," I said, trying to sound cool. "Go on through and get comfy."
When returned to the living room she had arranged herself seductively on the couch. "The flat looks great honey," she said. "I reckon you're up to £300 already."
"Yeah? You haven't seen the half of it," I replied, and kissed her gently.
"Oooh...is kissing allowed?" she asked.
"Hell yeah! This isn't 'Pretty Woman' you know. Besides, I'll be kissing more than these lips...fancy a drink?"
She nodded happily, and I poured two large glasses of wine. I handed her one, and hit 'play' on the remote control.
Something in the way she moves...attracts me like no other lover...something in the way she woos me... rang gently out of the speakers, at a perfect volume. Busty smiled, and I sashayed over to her, produced a doobie from my shirt-pocket and placed it between her lips. She grinned like an idiot as I struck a match to light it, and settled into the sofa next to her.
"How am I doing?"
"£400, easily," she said, as thick smoke surrounded her.
"You hungry?"
"Not yet, love. Maybe after."
We shared the joint, and drank our wine, chatting easily. It was simple to forget how crazy this bitch had been before. She was so pleasant, and engaging, and more gorgeous than I remembered. Still, she'd hunted me down and tried blackmail and was now demanding that I sleep with her for money. It takes all sorts to make the world go round, I guess. I reasoned she'd be looking for some action soon, so I excused myself and went to the bathroom to remove the rubber band from my cock. It had worked a treat; the little fella hung halfway down my thigh, long and thick but still soft.
Before long, we were getting into some heavy petting on the couch. Since she was technically my client, I had been prepared to things go at her pace - but the way she was acting (stifled moans when I stroked her thigh, giving me the big eyes and practically choking me with her tongue) made me wonder if this was a girl who wanted to be taken charge of. I grabbed under her knees, felt her grip behind my neck, and picked her up. She gave an excited shriek as I carried her through and tossed her roughly onto the bed.
Her clothes came off quickly. She unbuttoned my shirt and unbuckled my belt, sitting up on the bed in front of me, her face level with my waist. I slowly pulled my boxers down in front of her.
She literally gasped when she saw it, hanging before her lazily, like a trunk. With the rubber-band trick and the trimming, it looked pretty impressive.
She pursed her lips and kissed the tip of it. I saw it jump a little in her face, and she smiled wickedly.
"Darling, its just huge!" she said admiringly.
"So, how much am I up to now?" I asked.
"Hmmm...£500, maybe?"
"Let's see if we can do any better, hmm?"
I pushed her flat out, and pinned her hands down by her sides. Holding her tight, I brushed my lips against her stiffening nipples.
"Now, Busty, since you're paying me so handsomely...what exactly do you want me to do?"
"Just take charge of me, darling. I'm completely in your hands," she said, with a lusty moan.
"Fine," I whispered, as I kissed down her tummy and nibbled her belly-button, still holding her wrists tightly. I stopped below her hip-bones, and felt her strain her pussy upwards, towards my tongue.
"Just so you know, Busty, I'm gonna be down here for a while. Make yourself comfortable." As she nodded, I let go of her hands and started tickling her inner thighs, breathing lightly between her legs and sticking a cheeky tongue out every now and then, making her moan like a wench.
She was soon wriggling her legs in frustration, and I parted her lips by pulling gently at her thighs. She gasped, and I slid my tongue out.
I went for more or less the same technique as the week before: tongue on the bean, medium pace, slight circular motion. I tried a few new things to see how she reacted: I spat lightly onto her lips, making her growl sluttishly. I tickled her ass-hole with my finger, and she spread her legs wider to allow more room. I even tried giving her a little slap on the mound, but she didn't seem too keen on that.
Once she was positively dribbling, I raised two fingers up to her lips. She wrapped her tongue around them greedily, making them nice and wet. I slowly moved my hands into position, while she shivered in anticipation.
I slowly locked her into that famous grip: two fingers up to the hilt, moving in a gentle 'come to me' motion; t'other hand pressing lightly down on her lower abdomen, playfully twirling her short bush; and tongue firmly clamped onto her clit, alternating between licking and sucking.
It didn't take too long, once I had her like that. I've treated almost every girl I've had in bed similarly, and the outcome is invariably the same:
"I'm...gonna...cum..." she panted. This was a sign for me to slow everything right down, so that she relaxed, before building it up again. I repeated this several times - bringing her to the brink of orgasm, only to take the pressure off just as she was tremblingly close. Finally, she begged for it.
"Please, honey, please let me cum..."
Well, since she asked so nicely. I built it up again, and as she began shaking uncontrollably, licked harder and finger-fucked her faster than before. She came loudly, all over my face.
I stood as if to leave.
"Where are you going?" she demanded.
"To get condoms."
"Don't."
"Will you pay me the grand?"
She nodded. I wiped my chin and bent down to kiss her, sliding my hard cock in as I did so. I grabbed her legs as she wriggled beneath me, pulling her bottom half up so that her knees bent over my shoulders. Holding on tight I stood up, leaving only her upper back and head on the bed. The rest of her was suspended, I had a good hold of her thighs and I was buried inside her, impaling her.
This is a really good position for deep penetration. All I had to do was lift her up and down with my arms, and I could feel her grinding hard on my cock. She was loving it, and as I built up a rhythm she moved her fingers to her bean, and began thrashing about like a landed kipper. I felt her starting to cum again, and I was close too, so I let her. Her contractions around my cock built an orgasm up in me, and I reckon we timed it just right. We came at the same time, and collapsed in a sweaty, happy bundle.
Soon afterwards, we were lounging on the couch watching the telly. I cooked the mussels, and we ate them greedily with chunks of hot bread and the other bottle of cold Pinot Grigio. It was an awesome supper.
"I'm going to give some of my girlfriends your number," said Busty. "If that's alright with you."
"I don't know about that," I replied. "I like being with you, but I don't think I want to be a whore."
"You're not a whore, darling. You're an escort. I pay for your company, nothing more. The sex is purely coincidental. Look, you were happy to fuck me last week for free; well, now I'll pay you for it, and my girlfriends will too. They'll pay top dollar." She put her glass down and gave me a somewhat chilly glare. "You can't let me down now."
She would blackmail me again if I refused, I knew it. She would tell someone about the weed, or claim rape or something. She clearly had a lot of money, and I don't have that much to be honest. As if reading my mind, she reached into her bag and pulled out an envelope.
"Its all there, sugar. £1000. Well done, you've thoroughly earned it." She snuggled up to me, stretching her legs like a cat.
"Thanks."
"What name do you want me to give my friends?"
"What do you mean?"
"Well, honey, you don't want to give them all your real name, do you? You'll have to come up with an alias."
An alias?
"How about Flash Harry?" I asked.
The phone hasn't stopped ringing since.
User Reviews
Submitted by tatersninja (user info) at 2008-07-25 04:49:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
wtf is "tah" speak engrish damnit
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-07-25 04:38:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well ta very much, ladyboy.
Submitted by tatersninja (user info) at 2008-07-25 04:37:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Even though you're british or something equally faggish.
Submitted by loveinbrevity (user info) at 2008-07-21 11:00:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-04-01 12:26:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
its all fun
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-04-01 12:05:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/115855#2681744
no but this did
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2008-03-26 16:32:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good shit. Fiction though right?
-P
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-03-18 11:40:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
haha @ iddy
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-03-18 11:13:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 front page because I'm miserably ill today and I couldn't possibly feel any worse.
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2008-03-18 02:26:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
youre just about ready for penthouse.
you just need to add "I'd always thought this kind of thing was an urban myth, until last week..."
Submitted by jared.melton (user info) at 2008-03-18 01:58:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome.
Submitted by DasHeer (user info) at 2008-03-18 01:09:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i think that when you thought to yourself that she prolly likes to have someone take charge and you picked her up, that she should have maced you and raped you with a strap on
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2008-03-18 00:29:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-03-17 18:56:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Not bad. Closer to a 2 than a 1. The sex was as good as anything in Penthouse letters. The only part I'd say was less than convincing was the blackmail: A, blackmailing someone by threatening to tell their employer they smoke dope seems unlikely to me; and B, it's hard to believe any guy would need to be blackmailed in that situation. (Taken together, I guess A & B sort of cancel each other out.)
I thought you did a nice job up front making Busty seem sort of ominous. It might have been cool to take that a little further, but I think you'd need a correspondingly better blackmail to make it work.
A couple of typos in case you're interested:
When returned to the living room
I had been prepared to things go at her pace
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-03-17 13:56:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
loved it
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-03-17 11:52:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Not a lot to tell Orphy, the weather has been so crap that not much is happening.
Should post soon though.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-03-17 10:43:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I didn't read this but I'll just assume that it's good.
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2008-03-17 10:43:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ManWhore!
Nice.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-03-17 09:57:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I sent email to delicatecrazyboatlady@iliveonaboatonstiltsdon'tyouknow!.com
teehee.
Tell us some more about seacocks, you smutty hussy. :)
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-03-17 09:46:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Can you please cc me in?
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-03-17 09:45:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Heeeeey,
you can't do that. I want to see now.
I'm more robust than I appear. We all have to learn. ORPHY!!!
Please send said email.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-03-17 09:43:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well i had better not email the picure I was about to send you then ;)
Delicate, crazy boat lady.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-03-17 09:37:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
FUCK sake Orphy!
I'm of delicate nature. I can't be exsposed to this kind of going on!
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-03-17 09:32:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
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Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-03-17 13:26:21 GMT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm a little hot and bothered over here.
Time for a nap in a cold, dark room.
*stumbles around looking frazzled*
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Or just tie a strap on to a chair and ride it until you are fulfilled.
Thats what i did.
:)
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-03-17 09:32:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
do you know how they steer a bull? yeah, not sure I'd too frequently wrap a rubber band around my johnson.
that said i was entertained
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-03-17 09:26:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm a little hot and bothered over here.
Time for a nap in a cold, dark room.
*stumbles around looking frazzled*
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-03-17 08:58:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No, I believe the band is removed before they perform. But because it has been on it cuts off the blood flow and leaves the willy soft, but as big as it was hard.
Or something.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-03-17 08:56:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
RE rubber band. Do they keep it on? This needs more investigation.
I casually know a male stripper. He walks around everywhere in tracksuit bottoms and a fishnet wife beater. I could ask him but he is black and my experience of black cock tells me a rubberband would not be need.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-03-17 08:55:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
nice Ted Baker shirt << Oxymoron.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-03-17 08:54:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Its what male strippers do to make their willy look bigger.
Apparently.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-03-17 08:54:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Also, I hope this isn't some fantasy you wank over. You slut.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-03-17 08:53:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What the heck is the rubber band trick?