Edge of the Village (411 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.77 on 15 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by S.I. Co. Semen (View user info) at 2008-03-19 08:37:11 EDT
Just over the horizon of Seporia Hill at the east end of Wind Wisper, a small village nestled in the mountains of Amologia, lives Sir Crepe Jotion. Sir Crepe Jotion is relatively known as a hermit, some think he is creepy, while others think that Sir Crepe Jotion just likes to worry about his own. And Sir, did you ask? Well, that's not quite known but as the story goes he was knighted by King Thera himself, not long after the 17 Day War. Which brings us to the present.
Sir Crepe Jotion was somewhat of a novelty pilot during what can only be termed a dashing career in King Thera's Amry of Scovvy Fairs. The ASF as it was affectionately known throughout the King's realm, as well as Wind Wisper, produced some of the most brilliant masterminds to ever be known in all of Alpine Kingdom. Sir Crepe Jotion of Alpine Kingdom, in the small village of Wind Wisper, tucked in the mountains of Amologia flies clandarks, a furry winged mammal roughly the size of house. He works for himself dusting the saleune crops which all of Wind Wisper enjoy.
Courageous tales surround Sir Crepe Jotion but none are accounted or confirmed because the fear people have for him. If he is ever seen in the village people cross the other side of the road, walking with their heads down, trying not to make eye contact with him. Some say that if you make eye contact with Sir Crepe Jotion that you will turn into a saleune, shooting roots right where you stand, planting into the earth only to be freed by the sun of next season's first rising. Nonsense if you ask me, but you didn't, so I'll continue on...
So goes the story of Sir Crepe Jotion that the Andarian Tribe were to try and overtake King Thera using Wind Wisper as their entry point. Of course if the Army of Scovvy Fairs were to gain ear of this it would have never have occurred, nonetheless, a breach into the Alpine Kingdom could have occurred. It could have, I tell you, had it not been for Sir Crepe Jotion.
We are apprised that the clandarks live outside and they are fairly neat animals leaving very little mess and being the domesticated beasts they are, have generally tolerable defecating habits. Sir Crepe Jotion, of course, only had the best clandarks and saw to it that they were trained in keeping neat quarters. Over the crest of Seporia Hill is where the clandarks were to store their refuse until it was properly broken down by parasites and able to be used for fertilizer. Heaping piles of clandark dung gave Seporia Hill it's very shapely outline.
The Andarians were heard first by Sir Crepe Jotion stumbling their way through the mountains of Amologia. Quietly he sent a carrier hand to warn the King of the breach of territory while he made ready the clandarks.
Seven at a go, the clandarks scooped massive piles of dung into their shovel like hooves and jettisoned it out over the Andarians. It was two full days before King Thera's Army of Scovvy Fairs arrived to help relieve Sir Crepe Jotion. Parts of Wind Wisper were destroyed, the citizens fighting to help save the village but it was Sir Crepe Jotion who was the hero.
It was next season on the day before sun's first rising when the citizens of Wind Wisper reaped the bounty of randomly spotted saleune crops. The legend was true and thus made the first annual Sir Crepe Jotion's Day, named by King Thera himself.
User Reviews
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2008-03-19 20:48:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by lostnphound (user info) at 2008-03-19 16:21:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Suck my semen.
Submitted by InkyFingers (user info) at 2008-03-19 12:25:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Made me smile(+1) Made me smile(+1)Made me smile(+1)Made me smile(+1)Made me smile(+1)Made me smile(+1)Made me smile(+1)Made me smile(+1)Made me smile(+1)Made me smile(+1)Made me smile(+1)Made me smile(+1)Made me smile(+1)Made me smile(+1)Made me smile(+1)Made me smile(+1)Made me smile(+1)Made me smile(+1)Made me smile(+1)Made me smile(+1)Made me smile(+1)Made me smile(+1)Made me smile(+1)Made me smile(+1)Made me smile(+1)Made me smile(+1)Made me smile(+1)Made me smile(+1)Made me smile(+1)Made me smile(+1)Made me smile(+1)Made me smile(+1)Made me smile(+1). This totally made me smile. More please.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-03-19 11:44:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Way to fuck up a decent joke, patina face.
Submitted by dithered (user info) at 2008-03-19 11:09:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sir Crepe Jotion?
Didn't you mean Sir Cock Lotion?
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-03-19 10:54:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 from the new nicer Mudwhistle
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2008-03-19 10:19:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
auto sico +2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-03-19 09:27:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Huh? What?
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-03-19 08:53:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Factory foot pedal stepper, below.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-03-19 08:50:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
damn...3 below
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-03-19 08:49:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
still mensing below.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-03-19 08:49:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Had...it's ubersite....who gives a shit? If this was shit then it was shit, say so. You're not going to hurt my feelings and I'll still say you're sucking my dick, dick sucker.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2008-03-19 08:48:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm not allowed to actually say anything in my comments because that becomes sucking your dick or some such thing. So I'm just going to match whatever the ranking was when I hit your post (or as close as reasonably possible) so that you can't say I'm a Hater.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-03-19 08:43:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh yeah...well your face is hard to read, BITCH~!!!!!!!!!!!
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-03-19 08:42:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Kinda hard to read, but cool idea.