Diary of agent Rask, Part 3 (320 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.36 on 18 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Rodion Raskolnikov <rodyarask.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2008-03-20 14:10:43 EDT
From now on I shall post no more than a single entry at a time. It appears that long posts are not welcome unless they are superb. This is obviously not superb. In fact, this is meant to be something one would read on the metro or bus to pass the time. Let the flaming continue.
Part 1: http://www.ubersite.com/m/115620
Part 2: http://www.ubersite.com/m/115624
Jan 24, 1986
Things got worse.
I tried to find a phone booth, but there are none. These people don't know what a phone is and nobody speaks English, but that is not all. There I am, walking along and drinking my Vodka, not bothering anyone, trying to find a phone when a man starts yelling at me, pointing at the Vodka. I offered him some to be polite, but he kicked me in the balls and started to viciously beat me. Random strangers on the street joined in and women spat on me. Some kid broke the bottle over my head for the grand finish and they left me bleeding in the street. Note to self, Afghanis do not like Vodka. There was a Russian patrol watching the whole thing, laughing and pointing. I crawled over to them, but they pretended not to know me and drove away.
Bleeding and sober for the first time in weeks, I slept underneath an abandoned car. Sober, cold, bleeding, and in underneath a car in Afghanistan. I'm going to get you, Dostoyevsky... just as soon as I find a phone and call my mommy.
Turns out I have to walk to a bigger town to find any traces of civilization. It's a three day walk through the damn desert. I need to steal some supplies and food. Now that I'm out of Vodka I'm freaking starving, again. I'd try to steal a car, but the only one here belongs to the richest man in town. He lives in the biggest house on top of the hill and has armed guards.
I'm going to try and get me a donkey. How hard can it be to steal a donkey?
User Reviews
Submitted by rodyarask (user info) at 2008-03-21 00:45:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I just don't see why people like these, you have a tiny grain of a good concept but when you try to put it into practice it sounds forced and idiotic, plus all the grammar mistakes mean that it sounds like a 10-year-old wrote it.
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Well, the concept IS that the main character - the person who is WRITING the diary - is not very bright. So obviously it has to be written in a very simplistic manner. I know that one needs an IQ of more than 80 to understand that, so I do not hold it against you.
In regard to some people liking it: to each his own. No piece of literature is liked by all. Even 90% of people will never agree on anything. It is an easy read which does not require thought and has a few jokes thrown in. Many of the jokes suck, I am sure, but comedy is tough and I am practicing. I put this crap up here so people can voice their unbiased opinions (as opposed to my friends who are very nice and do not want to hurt my feelings).
As per my comment about not respecting YOUR opinion, I stick by it. For obvious reasons.
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-03-20 23:39:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rodyarask (user info) at 2008-03-20 21:03:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh no! Not a -2 by Ltap! He is so respected! I am ruined!
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I just don't see why people like these, you have a tiny grain of a good concept but when you try to put it into practice it sounds forced and idiotic, plus all the grammar mistakes mean that it sounds like a 10-year-old wrote it.
Submitted by rodyarask (user info) at 2008-03-20 21:03:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh no! Not a -2 by Ltap! He is so respected! I am ruined!
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-03-20 20:28:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Things got worse.
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You're right, they did.
Submitted by HellRazer (user info) at 2008-03-20 17:09:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
From now on I shall post no more than a single entry at a time. It appears that long posts are not welcome unless they are superb. This is obviously not superb. In fact, this is meant to be something one would read on the metro or bus to pass the time. Let the flaming continue.
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You're right this isn't superb. But it's good. And hats off to you sir for seeing how it is. +2 4U
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2008-03-20 16:40:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
aww screw the naysayers.. i read the first 2 and liked them, thenw as disappointed that this one is so short.
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2008-03-20 16:37:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
sigh..
I feel obligated now.
In soviet Afghanistan, balls kick you.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2008-03-20 16:20:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Socialist_Joe (user info) at 2008-03-20 16:06:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
more than one at a time
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-03-20 15:58:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I am from New Jersey and have been shot at by drunks before, so I knew exactly what to do: dance. I did "the shuffle," waving my underwear over my head. The first clip riddled the ground around my feet, but the dance distracted him and he did not fire again after reloading. He just looked at me like I was an alien. That is exactly the point
Was where I smiled yesteday
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-03-20 15:58:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I smiled yesterday at least once in both of them. But the majority of it wasn't funny.
SOrt of like the Scary Movie franchise. The previews show you all the funny and then the movie dilutes that funny into suck with massive amounts of unfunny coupled with too much time. Get it?
Submitted by rodyarask (user info) at 2008-03-20 15:45:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
TODAY:
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-03-20 15:25:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I at least smiled at the last two
YESTERDAY:
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-03-18 14:00:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This was far too long and not funny, at all. Also that whole one post a day thing.
I bet you have a tiny Asian-like penis.
_____________________
You sir, make no sense. But thanks for reading.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-03-20 15:25:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I at least smiled at the last two
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-03-20 15:25:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Not even a smile
Submitted by InkyFingers (user info) at 2008-03-20 14:48:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
less bad.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-03-20 14:40:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-03-20 14:19:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
There was nothing wrong with the long ones man
they were still pretty quick easy reads.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-03-20 14:19:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
There was nothing wrong with the long ones man, behave yourself. Just not twice in one day.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-03-20 14:16:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hmmm i would rather buy a monkey