Deep in the heart of Texas (664 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.66 on 18 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Lostnphound (View user info) at 2008-03-21 10:49:50 EDT
They say everything is bigger in Texas. Imagine my dismay when I look down in the stall of the rest stop only to find the same 2 inches still "hanging" there. Okay, I'm exaggerating. It's worse than that. Imagine a frightened turtle tucking it's head into it's shell for protection. That's the gist of what I'm packing in the downstairs area. I kid of course. If my penis was seriously that small I think the idea of having to burp my worm with rubber tweezers and bucket of water would certainly lead to my own suicide.
For any of you UberTexans, I had the pleasure(?) of visiting your glorious state to participate in the South by Southwest/Red Gorilla Music Festival in Austin. Fun was had by all. It seems that Emo music is on the upswing of popularity, at least for independent bands. This is not something I'm proud to announce. Believe me, after our set, I walked around trying to find music where the crowd didn't consist of guys wearing tight jeans, chucks, and makeup all the while crying and cutting themselves.
I found three. And I was so alcoholically polluted, I can't remember their band names.
I do admire the Austin law enforcement. We were reprimanded for having an empty beer can in the cup holder of our van. He seemed more like a disgruntled father than a cop. "Guys...beer in van...BAD!", were his only words regarding said beer can when he peered in to tell us we couldn't park in the alley to unload. He probably had bigger fish to fry. I'm assuming it was those two Emo guys kissing and scratching each other. I hear Texans don't like fags. Touché'.
All in all, I had a good time deep in the heart of Texas. Thank you for your hospitality and such. I've heard a majority of Texans would like for Texas to become it's own country.
Good luck with that...
User Reviews
Submitted by spyder882001 (user info) at 2008-03-29 22:11:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Texas is the only state that made it a condition that they could cede from the US before becoming a state.
Submitted by loopdeloo (user info) at 2008-03-28 15:45:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Filename
Submitted by greeneyedgrl (user info) at 2008-03-24 23:24:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2008-03-22 15:11:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'd take a blubbering emo kid any day over a happy slapping, gold chain and hoodie wearing burberry clad chav.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-03-22 06:48:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I fear my children will catch the emo.
Submitted by HellRazer (user info) at 2008-03-21 18:25:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good God do I hate emo. Where the hell did that shit come from? How in the fuck does someone convince themselves that wearing make-up and crying all the time about stupid shit makes them cool?
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-03-21 14:56:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good one dude.
GO GO GADGET ARMS.
Submitted by lostnphound (user info) at 2008-03-21 13:33:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
haha, wow, Rhy, that's total shit. They'd seriously need an army to win a fight. For realsies.
Submitted by Registered_S_O (user info) at 2008-03-21 13:29:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Imagine my dismay when I look down in the stall of the rest stop only to find the same 2 inches still "hanging" there.
I got this far than had to rate. Good shit right there. Back to reading.
Submitted by Rhymenocerous (user info) at 2008-03-21 13:28:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by lostnphound (user info) at 2008-03-21 13:17:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
haha, they're neither tough online nor in person. I bet I could make one cry just by smearing his faggot make up.
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Hahaha. They are such cry baby bitches. Although, I did hear one tale about emo kids getting in a fight and actually winning.
Story goes, there used to be this bar in Boston called The Choppin Block. It was a biker/scene/emo/goth hangout or some shit like that. Sitting outside the bar were some emo kids wearing tight pants and pink t-shirts 2 sizes too small. Some frat kids walked by and called the emo kids fags, laughed and kept on their merry way. The emo kids, outraged at being ridiculed, went inside the bar and rounded up like 40 other emo kids. They all rushed outside and jumped the frat boys and beat the ever living shit out of them.
Of course...when its' 40 on 3 I imagine if you dont win the fight you're either:
1) A complete pussy
-or-
2) Fighting a samurai/ninja/guy from future weapons
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-03-21 13:23:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by lostnphound (user info) at 2008-03-21 13:17:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Rhymenocerous (user info) at 2008-03-21 12:59:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I posted that picture on my friend's Myspace on like...June 3rd 2006. Shortly after I received some threats from an emo kid who took offense to it. Apparently, they "rome" the streets at night and I was requested to sleep with one eye open. Gotta love the emo kids who think they're tough with online threats over myspace.
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haha, they're neither tough online nor in person. I bet I could make one cry just by smearing his faggot make up.
Submitted by Rhymenocerous (user info) at 2008-03-21 12:59:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I posted that picture on my friend's Myspace on like...June 3rd 2006. Shortly after I received some threats from an emo kid who took offense to it. Apparently, they "rome" the streets at night and I was requested to sleep with one eye open. Gotta love the emo kids who think they're tough with online threats over myspace.
Submitted by lostnphound (user info) at 2008-03-21 11:41:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Rhymenocerous (user info) at 2008-03-21 11:38:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I think that picture is a little dated.
SXSW had a shitload of bands/movies playing. I tried to see if any bands I liked were going to be there but I lost all interest as soon as I visited the SXSW website. Sounds like you had a fairly good time.
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The picture is definitely dated, but it made me laugh. I thought about editing the date, but I gave up because I just didn't care.
Submitted by Rhymenocerous (user info) at 2008-03-21 11:38:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I think that picture is a little dated.
SXSW had a shitload of bands/movies playing. I tried to see if any bands I liked were going to be there but I lost all interest as soon as I visited the SXSW website. Sounds like you had a fairly good time.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-03-21 11:03:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by lostnphound (user info) at 2008-03-21 10:59:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-03-21 10:58:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm envious....I've never attended SXSW even though we threaten to do so every fucking year.
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I would encourage it. It's a great festival if you can find the music you enjoy.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-03-21 10:58:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm envious....I've never attended SXSW even though we threaten to do so every fucking year.