Dr. Guevara and the Prettiest Girl in Long Beach (pt 1 of 2) (480 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.9 on 13 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by QuinnTheEskimo (View user info) at 2008-03-21 14:41:37 EDT
"Do you ever have thoughts of suicide?"
"Of course. I work at Pizza Hut. If you worked at Pizza Hut you'd think about killing yourself, too." The doctor didn't smile.
"That's not a healthy outlook," The doctor paused and adjusted her glasses, scanning the peice of paper in front of her for my name. "Quinn." She paused here, maybe to put emphasis on her next question. "Are you a drinker? Do you smoke marijuana?"
"I'm drunk right now." I told her, and it wasn't a lie.
"How do you get your alcohol? You gave your age as," Again she scanned the peice of paper, "Seventeen."
"I know a guy at a liquor store. I bring him pizza, he sells me whiskey, usually."
The doctor narrowed her eyes at me; was she trying to detect a lie? I told the truth! That's usually how I got hammered. Tonight had been different, however. I'd been at my house drinking my girlfriend's grape vodka.
"Is that how you got drunk tonight?" The doctor tilted her head to one side.
I sighed and collapsed into my chair. Another woman leaned into the room so I could only see her head and shoulders. It wasn't really a room, it was more a renovated janitor's closet. It was spartan, the only things in the room besides me, the doctor, and the nurse were two chairs and a table. The light in the room came from the open door, which lead into the common area, which I had only glimpsed briefly.
"Dr. Guevara?" The nurse said. "Phone call, line one. I think it's your husband."
Guevara took of her glasses. "Thank you, Suze." Suze left and the doctor turned back to me. "Do you need to pee?" She asked.
"What?"
"We need you to take a urine analysis before you go, check your system for any toxins or drugs, in case we need to medicate you."
She pushed a little plastic cup with a big orange lid across the table at me. "You know," She says, "Alcohol is a depressant. If you stop drinking, your thoughts of suicide will most likely go away."
I sat up and slipped the plastic cup into my jacket pocket. "Doc," I told her "Thoughts of suicide are the reason I started drinking in the first place."
The doctor nodded and stood. "I need to take my husband's call. Light's out at nine-thirty, breakfast is at seven. Since you are a minor, you will need to stay a full twenty-four hours for observation before we can release you."
"I have work tomorrow at four in the afternoon, any chance I can get out early?"
"Only if a parent or guardian signs you out." I nodded and the doctor continued. "You're free to roam about the common area." She pointed out the door, and waited for me to leave before she did.
As I stepped into the common room, I saw that I was out numbered. There were about fifteen homeless people, milling around, mumbling to themselves, or sleeping in the chairs that lined the walls of the T-shaped room. At the bottom of the T was a pair of doors leading to a patio, at the top was the nurse's station, where two pretty women sat behind a counter.
I took up the only free chair, under a payphone hanging on the wall right next to the nurse's station. I made myself as small as possible, and gingerly fingered the plastic cup in my pocket.
One of the pretty nurses came around the counter. "If you still need to fill your cup the bathrooms are right over there." As she pointed me in the right direction a heavy-set women staggered out of the bathroom. One of her eyes was looking straight ahead, the other rolled wildly in it's socket, her hair was a long greasy mess that hung mostly down the front of her streatched-out and dirty Sylvester the Cat sweater. Her sweat pants had a hole and her hairy knee poked through it as she walked. She was shoeless, and the socks she had were mis-matched.
The nurse's eyes grew wide at the sight of the woman and she scurried behind her counter. The woman made a beeline for me and stopped a few feet from my chair.
"Do you know who I am?" She asked. Her voice was monotone and she did not emote as she spoke.
I shook my head. "I used to be the prettiest girl in Long Beach. I was prettier than anyone here." I nodded, wincing a little as her smell hit me.
"I was so beautiful," She continued, "Traffic would stop for me. Boys would stop in the street and stare. I made love every night of the week." She began to lean towards me, her giant sagging breasts pushing Sylvester's face into a twisted parody of itself. "Do you beleive how beautiful I used to be?" She asked.
"Help." I said, and then, louder, "Someone, nurse, help."
A black man that I hadn't noticed before stepped in from the patio, stubbing out a cigarette. "Roberta," He said. "Leave that kid alone."
Roberta turned and faced him. "I was so beautiful!" She shouted. She began to knead her breasts and sway her hips. "Everyone wanted me! I was beautiful once!"
"Shut the fuck up!" A sleeping hobo shouted.
The black man from the patio turned, "Watch your language, Eric." He warned. Eric rolled over on his line of chairs and went back to sleep. Roberta walked away from me mumbling about beauty, and I breathed a little easier.
The digital wall clock read 8:24. Almost an hour until light's out. This was going to be a long night.
User Reviews
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-05-01 15:56:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I sat up and slipped the plastic cup into my jacket pocket. "Doc," I told her "Thoughts of suicide are the reason I started drinking in the first place."
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You were right, I hated this line. However, everything else was enjoyable enough.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-03-22 21:56:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-03-22 00:02:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good show, also ltap really is retarded and if you go into a long emo rant of why he is depressed I swear i'll come and retract this +2. I swear it.
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You made me. :(
Submitted by rodyarask (user info) at 2008-03-22 21:33:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Teach me
Submitted by Tigre (user info) at 2008-03-22 21:14:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You should do a bonus sex scene with the hobo and the fat crazy woman.
It'd be great.
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2008-03-22 20:53:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Like this and just about to read part II
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-03-22 00:02:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good show, also ltap really is retarded and if you go into a long emo rant of why he is depressed I swear i'll come and retract this +2. I swear it.
Submitted by Tjhom (user info) at 2008-03-21 23:39:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
its great
but i cant stop thinking of girl interrupted; and i didnt really like that film. Well in any case...
Goodtimes!
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-03-21 22:59:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice opening. I liked how the prettiest woman turned out to be an ugly lunatic, and I especially liked the description of her. What color was her long, greasy hair? I imagined it as a mixture of brown and gray. Yuck. What are all those bums doing in the rehab center? How did the narrator end up in the rehab center? Is it a rehab center? I don't know anything about rehab centers. Don't you have to have money to get into one?
I think this paragraph would read a little smoother if it was broken up:
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I shook my head.
"I used to be the prettiest girl in Long Beach. I was prettier than anyone here."
I nodded, wincing a little as her smell hit me.
---------------
Looking forward to part two!
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2008-03-21 19:43:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ltap is a fucking retard, dont ever listen to him.
Submitted by sir_cowman (user info) at 2008-03-21 19:31:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Man. Three reviews? That's not enough internet love. Also, tell me what you feel needed explaining and i'll work it into the next one.
Submitted by HellRazer (user info) at 2008-03-21 19:11:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
good style there.
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-03-21 16:14:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Best story I've seen around here in a while. Only +1-worthy, but I'll give you a +2 on the assumption that the sequel will explain things a bit better.
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2008-03-21 15:02:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
don't kill yourself, your writing is so pretty, and I like you