Whatever happened to this guy? (913 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.87 on 20 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by awesomeface (View user info) at 2008-03-23 10:58:38 EDT
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2008-03-03 16:09:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
whatever happened to this guy
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Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-03-12 00:12:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
He joined the army.
I know you were on the internetz recently AF you can't hide so you may as well visit..
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VISIT UBERSITE!?...you mean like take time out of my day to put in my username and password?
Then click on some of your posts or my own posts and say whats up?
Now why the hell would I want to do that? I'M IN FUCKING GEORGIA, and there be plenty to do.
Ft. Benning is AWESOME! We have a mini-mall with a food court, a big ol PX (Wal-Mart), a bowling alley and bars i'm not old enough to drink in. If I run out of fun things to do at Ft. Benning I head to nearby beautiful Columbus GA, but not before being raped by a $30 cab ride.
Columbus is awesome because EVERYONE knows you are in the military and people definetly don't get bored of soldiers stumbling around drunk and aimless throughout their town.
*sarcasm ends
I do feel quite bad for the white kids that have to go to high school in this town because EVERYONE here can kick their ass. They are just as easily spotable as us.
I've been at Ft. Benning since June. I've complete basic/job training all in one stint, airborne school, and I am headlong into the Ranger Indoctrination Program (RIP).
Each of these different schools has of course different instructors and it is interesting to see how each and every one of their passions elevate onto one another and collide.
Drill Sergeants: Alright privates, civilian life is easy as shit. Everything used to be handed to you and we aren't going to hold your hand through this program. If any of you dickheads happen to finish this and get your berets, I hope you get deployed. There's an awesome feeling going to combat, stepping out of the wire and making it back home. Feels like cheating death and ITS THE BEST FEELING IN THE WORLD!
Airborne Instructors (Black Hats): Alright Airborne listen up, this ain't no basic training. This is airborne school and this is the real shit. For those of you who make it through these 3 weeks, you will be exiting from an aircraft in flight. Men I hope you get to feel the wind against your face at the door and feel the opening shock of your parachute and glide to the ground safely. ITS THE BEST FEELING IN THE WORLD.
Ranger Cadre: Alright cocks! This isn't basic. This isn't airborne. This is the real shit. Were going to make killers out of you if you make it through this program. I went to combat and I blah blah blah blah arm blew off blah blah blah shot in the head blah blah 28 times blah blah. Men I hope one day you get to kill somebody, hopefully some blood or brain matter will splatter and land in your mouth. Then you get to taste it. Men...ITS THE BEST FEELING IN THE WORLD.
Now to you folks it may sound like Awesome Face is not having a fun time in the Army. That is not entirely true. Firing weapons, jumping out of planes, firing more weapons, ground fighting tactics, knife play, firing more weapons is REALLY FUCKING COOL.
There's only one thing, alot of people in the same situation as me have been training for over 6-8 months straight and it gets kind of boring. I've been in for about 8 months coming on 9 months and I haven't even been to a unit. There's only one thing to do on the weekends. Get a hotel room for two nights (which you can afford cause you haven't spent a dime all week) and get fucking thrashed. I've been doing that routine for 3 months straight now. We try to stay in our hotel rooms when getting thrashed because we are nothing but targets in columbus. In columbus, a bald white man in his late teens or early twenties is probably in the Army. You also do not want to insert your penis into anything in this town or on post because it's either,
A: The Post Commanders daughter
B: Somebodies daughter who is important in some way shape or form
C: Some guys wife who has a husband deployed
D: Some chick with enough bacteria and disease on the walls of her cunt to instantly melt your dick off.
There you go Ubersite, that's what I've been doing. Training for five days of the week then hide inside a hotel room Friday night, saturday, and Sunday while drinking myself silly at which point I am extremely happy. Then Sunday night I begin to sober up and a I realize again that I am in Georgia.
Fucking Georgia
_________________________
Upon exiting the aircraft one should count as such, One thousand two thousand three thousand four thousand. If by then your chute hasn't caught you, you have a problem.
My first time out I just said "Please open" four times.
User Reviews
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2008-04-04 21:39:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Maddog (user info) at 2008-04-04 18:21:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The "funniest" line I remember coming from a Blackhat at Jump school was at our first pre-jump briefing. He was telling us of the various kinds of jumps needed for qualification. His words were as follows:
" You'll do three day jumps, one jump with combat gear and one night jump. Of course, for some of you, EVERY jump will be a night jump!" (at this point he makes a face and squeezes his eyes shut).
I feel for ya. Benning did kind of suck, and that was 20 years ago for me. Have fun on Victory Blvd.
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Good to hear from an old airborne soldier. And it's Victory Drive hence the "VD"
Submitted by Maddog (user info) at 2008-04-04 18:21:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The "funniest" line I remember coming from a Blackhat at Jump school was at our first pre-jump briefing. He was telling us of the various kinds of jumps needed for qualification. His words were as follows:
" You'll do three day jumps, one jump with combat gear and one night jump. Of course, for some of you, EVERY jump will be a night jump!" (at this point he makes a face and squeezes his eyes shut).
I feel for ya. Benning did kind of suck, and that was 20 years ago for me. Have fun on Victory Blvd.
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2008-04-04 17:57:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh, hey folks, haven't had time to check this beauty. Thanks for the comments, I miss not working and coming on this website.
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2008-03-26 14:23:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ft Benning almost killed my brother. July heat stroke. So the Army sent him home with a medical discharge.
You'll never guess what he did next...
I still can't believe it...
he joined the Marines so he can go fight in the desert.
I know.
Genius.
Submitted by HellRazer (user info) at 2008-03-24 18:30:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
*salutes*
Remember: "Death before Dishonor"
So don't rape anyone.
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-03-24 10:46:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
CHEATING ON YOUR TAXES IS THE BEST FEELING IN THE WORLD!!!!!
Submitted by Val (user info) at 2008-03-24 03:11:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I laughed really hard, you have great written comedic timing.
I hope you never taste brain matter, I hear it tastes like absolute shit.
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-03-24 00:46:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2008-03-23 23:03:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Alright!
I hope you manage to get home safely and with honor...IT'S THE BEST FEELING IN THE WORLD!
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-03-23 22:52:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My first time out I just said "Please open" four times.
hahaahah
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2008-03-23 21:36:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Didn't I chat you up on the phone, once?
I think you came a little.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-03-23 21:31:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
OMG it's Drunky! Hello darling!
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-03-23 21:02:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey Hey now!
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-03-23 20:18:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i was so worried thank god you're okay
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-03-23 14:13:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
haha
last line was funny
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2008-03-23 14:09:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
been there done that
lived the life of danger
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2008-03-23 13:51:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Carry on with your bad self.
Submitted by dithered (user info) at 2008-03-23 12:25:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good to see you, bro. HOO-AH!
(oathmeal)
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2008-03-23 11:54:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Missed you too baby
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-03-23 11:42:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
THERE HE IS!
Missed you, sweet cheeks