Meet the Oggies (607 hits)
Category: Science & EnvironmentalRating: 0.77 on 11 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by JesterLilt (View user info) at 2008-03-23 21:02:39 EDT
They live under the sea preferably in areas of extensive oil and gas development. The topcat oil barons didn't realise when they started drilling their wells, laying their pipelines and raising their massive monolithic, man made monstrosities out of the sea that a new civilisation would spring up beneath the waves, out of sight in the deep dark yonder.
Using microscopic diamond bit drills to bore holes through pipelines the Oggies manage to travel all over the sea and sometimes eventually make it onshore. However, if they make it onshore they usually meet a nasty demise. Onshore they are combusted in large crackers or enter gas streams feeding our gas hobs and heating systems. Not a nice way to go by anybody's standards.
Travelling through microscopic holes into pipelines drilled using diamond bits makes these new additions to the planet incredibly small. They can also form massive colonies, interlinking with one another and sharing their thoughts as one.
In the sea, the most sought after postcode locations to live are reefs because these are protected under international laws to keep them safe and unharmed. They are the bustling metropolises of the ocean where anybody who is anybody in the water goes to hang out and party down. The Oggies have built up a massive empire entertaining our water dwelling friends from north to south.
The only drawback to the Oggies is the microscopic holes they keep drilling in pipelines. Eventually these holes become bigger holes eventually making a pipeline spring a big leak releasing oil, chemicals and allsorts of different nasties into the water.
Fortunately we humans care a great deal about our primary source of energy springing leaks in the water and we quite quickly come along with our deep sea divers and ROVs to fix the problem. The whales are not so keen, with humans come seismic vessels which leave their ears ringing for weeks afterwards.
So, now you've had a brief introduction to the Oggies. You are unlikely to know if you've met one because you can't see them unless they are all interconnected in which case you'd be forgiven for mistaking them as plankton. They are clever but fortunately they are a peaceful race.
User Reviews
Submitted by The-Armed-Samurai (user info) at 2008-07-06 12:17:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-06-10 04:11:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
(Missed it)
Submitted by silverbolt (user info) at 2008-06-10 03:32:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by HellRazer (user info) at 2008-03-24 18:24:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This would be funny if the BOSHman wrote it. But he'd probably punch poor Scruggs in the throat.:(
+1 for not punching Scruggs in the throat.
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2008-03-24 17:43:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Milkshake? I thought I'd lost it...
Submitted by lucid (user info) at 2008-03-24 17:40:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
the oggies drink your milk shake!
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-03-24 17:27:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-03-24 11:45:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-03-23 21:56:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Alas, what hath we wrought?
Submitted by rodyarask (user info) at 2008-03-23 21:50:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-03-23 21:12:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Collected, dried, cleaned with methyl alcohol, dried again, powdered, and then lined and snorted or added to food, Oggies make an excellent hallucenogenic. I know you know what I'm talking about.