Goddamn Shame About It (753 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.31 on 38 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Sally Walker, Texas Ranger (View user info) at 2008-03-23 22:51:00 EDT
I mean, whose dick do have to suck to get an Easter basket around here?
All I want is chocolate bunny. Is that so much to fucking ask?
Thanks, person previously known as my mother. You're fucking weak-ass excuses about so many grandkids is pathetic. Why would you give a shit about them? Have you seen them? They are all snot-nosed sniveling little retards. Some of them haven't even learned how to poop by themselves. Now, thanks to you, I am fully aware that nobody loves me, including you, (who is a person MANDATED BY LAW to love me) and I have decided to commit suicide via overdose of prescription painkillers washed down with absinthe.
Yes, gentle uberer, I did not receive my Easter basket this year, and as you can see, I'm pretty pissed off about it.
And now I am taking it out on you, my dear, dear, ubersite reader. If you don't like it, then please feel free to SEND ME A MOTHER-FUCKING EASTER BASKET WITH A GODDAMN CHOCOLATE BUNNY IN IT.
I'm not going to buy my own Easter basket, because that is stupid and extremely lamentable. I'm certainly not going to the pharmacy and asking the cashier "where the chocolate bunnies are".
"Aisle three, right next to the anal lube."
Some plastic eggs filled with quarters and that frilly green fake grass-looking type of shit would be a nice touch. No real eggs please; as those don't travel well through mail.
Since this post sucked so hard, I give to you some of my proposed motto's for this fine borough I reside in.
I hate every single last one of you; except for the person who sends me my belated Easter basket.
With a chocolate bunny.
And that frilly green grass stuff and maybe some plastic eggs with quarters inside them.
User Reviews
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2008-03-25 11:59:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
actually scourge that's pretty accurate...
you know me too well. It's eerie.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-03-25 10:35:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Auto +2 New Chemist Position Promotion for S.I. Co. Semen
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-03-25 10:22:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
pfffft...
this wasn't nearly vitriol filled enough.
you didn't care at all about getting an easter basket, did you? you're just going through the motions. likely the first year you didn't go trick or treating you made some big show of disappointment while inside you breathed a big sigh of relief that you didn't have to go begging for candy wrapped inside some chewbacca suit or something. i blame people like you, who pretend to care about easter baskets and trick or treating and little hannukah dreidels, or whatever the fuck it is you jews give each other during ramadan, for all that is wrong about the american celebration of these various holy days.
fuck you.
fuck you hard.
superman doesn't wear a shirt with his own face on it, asshole.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2008-03-25 00:31:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like the cut of your jib.
Submitted by ubetidid (user info) at 2008-03-24 12:37:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
gentle uber?
i will be glad when you're dead.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-03-24 12:20:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
This made me laugh for some fucking reason.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-03-24 12:12:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
peeps
http://www.cryotank.net/remote/peeps_puke.jpg
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-03-24 12:07:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Plus one Us3
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2008-03-24 10:15:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like to hit the grocer the day after Easter and stock up on half-priced Cadbury eggs and PEEPS.
yum.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-03-24 09:33:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm 29 and I still get an Easter basket every year. This year it had money, a pedicure kit and jelly beans in it. I hate jelly beans.
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2008-03-24 09:17:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
wow, +2 for anger
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-03-24 08:49:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Whoa, thanks rorrim.
Submitted by CatWoman (user info) at 2008-03-24 08:46:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by rorrim (user info) at 2008-03-24 07:51:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fucker without photoshop above. Losers below. Asshole reviewing.and fuck darko.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-03-24 04:59:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I <3 Sally :)
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-03-24 03:47:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Happy Easter Sammich.
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2008-03-24 02:48:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
but they can't make free throws
Submitted by Registered_S_O (user info) at 2008-03-24 02:15:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Happy Easter
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2008-03-24 01:16:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have memphis winning the title
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2008-03-24 00:37:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
yeah circe i'll take it. I think i put my e-mail address somewhere below; shoot me a message and I'll give you my address. Don't forget the fake grass.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2008-03-24 00:31:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ok, look, I've got bits of chocolate bunny in the fridge, in a tupperware container. See, the ungrateful little fuckheads I gave birth to can't EAT three big bunnies and two dozen eggs each all in one day, so we put what's left in this container in the fridge and pick at it for a few weeks.
I guess I could send it to you. There's some ears in there, couple of faces.... you want? I'm pretty sure there's at least enoug parts to make four bunnies and assorted egg shapes. I'll throw in some plastic grass.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-03-24 00:28:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Tell me about it, Sally. My nephew got THREE Easter baskets and I didn't get so much as a marshmallow peep.
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-03-24 00:12:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oops.
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-03-24 00:12:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Do they really keep the chocolate bunnies with the anal lube?
"No, I don't have Photoshop and I can't rotate the text." That was worth a plus 2 alone.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-03-23 23:45:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Already en route bart triangualted your position using a bit of string a twig and your IP address.
I couldn't possibly be more bored.
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2008-03-23 23:44:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
yes doodles, that all looks very nice. Send me an e-mail and we can coordinate payment. You can send it to pleaselickmyballs.at.pleaselickmyballs.org
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-03-23 23:40:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I ordered it through Bart's new Easter egg delivery system. Michael Jackson Method and Bart worked really, really hard to make it last night. For the low price of $50.00 (Canadian as the American dollar is going to shit) I can mail a basket containing:
Fake grass
Malt eggs (12)
Chocolate bunnies (2)
Plastic eggs with assorted candy (8)
A signed picture of Ubersite's very own Haha Rabbit (1)
Baby Jesus (1)
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2008-03-23 23:35:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
what about the passover squirrel?
Submitted by Constitution (user info) at 2008-03-23 23:33:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Now you know what Jews go through.
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2008-03-23 23:31:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i find that hard to believe
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-03-23 23:27:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
the buuny is en route.
Submitted by rodyarask (user info) at 2008-03-23 23:10:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No bunny for you!
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2008-03-23 23:04:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i guess i won't be expecting as easter basket from you, justanother.
your user name is stupid, BTW.
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2008-03-23 23:03:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
well, that's your problem.
Submitted by JustAnotherStudent (user info) at 2008-03-23 23:00:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Please, I spent the day alone with my baby since my man had to work ALL DAMN DAY today, and my family lives a good 500 miles away. No one's given me Easter candy since I was 11.
The neighbors are screaming at each other. I fucking hate living in apartments.
That is all.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-03-23 22:58:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
they're half off tomorrow numbnuts
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-03-23 22:56:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
A brown bunny. It may look like chocolate. . .
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2008-03-23 22:52:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Growing up sucks sometimes.