The Highly Anticipated 5th Chapter of the Shielded Land (With Picture of Girl After Reading This Chapter) (627 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.5 on 27 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Registered_S_O (View user info) at 2008-03-24 14:40:08 EDT
Chapter 5
"Gilena? Gilena, are you here?" came a gruff voice from the other side of her door.
Gilena looked up from sharpening her sword.
"In here." She replied.
A bear of a man opened her door, entering her living room, his intense gaze settling on Gilena who was seated on a small stool.
"I've been looking everywhere for you. Where have you been?" the man asked rather annoyed, walking up to Gilena and placing his meaty hands on his hips.
Gilena gently caressed the shaft of her sword, testing its sharpness with her thumb. Its edge was so fine that it could have easily cut through a piece of parchment as if it was butter. The veiled threat wasn't lost on the man either, as he shifted his weight from one foot to the other.
"Well, where do you think?" Gilena replied tersely. "I've been home for nearly an hour."
"I've no time for your witty banter woman. Important things are about and here you sit, sharpening some dingy sword." The man replied, shaking a finger at Gilena.
Gilena grasped the familiar hilt of her sword, reacquainting herself with its sturdy grip. She spun to her left, bringing her sword with her as she went. She stopped short, her blade a quarter of an inch away from the vein in the man's neck.
"Even though it's a dingy blade," Gilena began sarcastically "a slight flick of my wrist and that important vein in your neck would be damaged beyond all hope of repair."
The man, his face showing no emotion, raised his hand to the cross guard of her sword. He ran his thumb along the blade, testing its sharpness for himself. Satisfied that Gilena was not simply boasting, he gave her a small smile.
"Well, I suppose my blade isn't that shoddily made after all." He said, appreciating the fine weapon that was resting on his shoulder.
"That it isn't." Gilena replied with a warn smile, lowering her sword.
She quickly sheathed her sword in the scabbard that was lying on the floor next to the stool.
"It's been what, six months since I've seen you Benthen? What's kept you away for so long?" Gilena asked, gently placing her sword on her table.
The table, along with its cushioned chairs, had been carved from a piece of stone block that was removed from one of the various tunnels that were being dug. The stone was a pale gray, chiseled so finely that it felt smooth to the touch. Like many of the pieces of furniture that was in Gilena's home, they were expertly crafted by artisans that lived in the bowels of Furylin.
Her two room living quarters, as well as the rest of the homes in this section of tunnel, had been carved out of massive tunnels that were dug beneath the surface of Furylin. During the tunneling process, the diggers sometimes stumbled into natural caves that had been closed off for ages. These new caves would be focal points to set up housing complexes that were dug directly out of the rock wall. The excess rock was used to sculpt pieces of furniture; or, in cases of too much excess, were brought to the surface and pushed through the shield. Sometimes, the extra rock was carted to one of the many rock quarries on the surface.
"It lightens my heart to see you as well Gilena. It's been so long and yes, I am well. I appreciate your inquiring about my well being." Benthen said, the fine lines at the corners of his eyes crinkling as a large smile spread across his face.
His hair was white and cut short, covering a head filled with little scars and indentations from his years of working as a digger. Most workers wore protective headgear, but Benthen insisted his head was hard enough and that he didn't need any such luxuries. His brown eyes that rarely missed any detail reminded Gilena of the shade of brown that the tunnels closer to the surface were. Those were the tunnels made of soil. Benthen wore a sleeveless white vest with matching pants that were ashy with long hours of stone dust falling all over him. His hardened muscles were still well-defined despite his age.
Gilena had lived to see twenty-three summers, and she guessed that her friend who stood tall and fierce-looking before her had seen around two and a half times that number. Whenever Gilena would ask Benthen his age, he would reply that he stopped counting at forty. A mischievous smile that belayed his age would spread across his mouth whenever he gave Gilena that reply.
"Sorry." Gilena said with a wry grin, embracing her long time friend and mentor in a long overdue hug. "It's great to see you. Many things have happened while you've been digging to the center of the world."
"Not the center of the world dear." Benthen said, releasing Gilena and taking a seat at the table.
"Pour me a cup of that Darzta you brew well and I will tell you all about it."
Gilena shook her head, walking over to the smooth, stone cabinet that was taller than she was. She opened one of its perfectly balanced doors, its hinge accommodating such a heavy piece of stone with ease. She quickly scanned the cabinet's contents, looking for a jug that wasn't in reserve for someone. Many people throughout the Under Kingdom of Furylin would place orders with Gilena. The Darzta she brewed was a fine, hard alcoholic drink that she was good at making. Everyone from shopkeepers to the Regents themselves would place orders with Gilena. She at last found a jug that wasn't reserved for anyone. It was probably the jug she had given to Benthen the last time he was there.
"So tell me what you've been doing." Gilena said to Benthen, retrieving a cup from a matching cabinet across the room.
"It's news that hasn't been made public knowledge yet. I need a drink or two in order to loosen my tongue." Benthen whispered with a sly grin.
"Have as many as you can handle." Gilena replied, pouring Benthen a single cup and placing it and the jug before him.
He lifted the cup of the brown liquid, swirling it slight before taking a whiff of its strong scent. Benthen took a large gulp, and then several more until the cup was empty. He gave a little cough, his eyes becoming slightly watery. He poured himself another cupful, pausing to recover himself.
"How can you drink that stuff so quickly? I get a little lightheaded after brewing a few jugs from its fumes alone." Gilena commented, taking a seat opposite Benthen.
"I drink this stuff one cup at a time." Benthen replied, shooting Gilena an oily smile before taking another gulp.
"We've found an ancient cavern directly beneath the castle." Benthen began, pushing his now empty cup to the center of the table.
"As you know, dig teams have been burrowing through bedrock lower and lower into the ground in order to establish new housing areas for the ever increasing population."
Gilena nodded knowingly, hanging on every word that Benthen was saying.
"For the past few years, we've been digging in the area directly beneath the castle, several miles deep now. My team and I just recently stumbled upon a monstrous cavern. I would say it's nearly half as large as the castle proper."
"What's so odd about that?" Gilena asked, sensing there was more to the story. "In the thousand years since us Furyliner's who have chosen not to live under the crowns rule have been digging underground, we've discovered natural caverns nearly that big. Kiergood Square is nearly that large I would say. A good thing for all the shop owners who have set up businesses there. Such a large area is needed for all the patrons who frequent that plaza."
"That's the thing Gilena," Benthen replied, scratching the back of his head "it's not a natural cavern. It's several square miles, and nearly a mile high, of perfectly cut rock."
Gilena let out a startled cry at hearing that. She couldn't begin to comprehend the monumental task such an undertaking would have been. While enough to properly support the thousands of people living underground, the tunnels she had spent nearly half her life in ran for maybe thirty miles or so, with another ten miles of tunnels high up made of soil. It had taken her people nearly a thousands years to get to the point in architecture they were at now. If this new cavern was a large as Benthen said, than that was quite an amazing discovery.
"It's the ruins of a once massive city." Benthen said with excitement. "From the cursory inspection my team did of the cavern, we found massive buildings now little more then piles of rubble. Make no mistake, by the size of the debris, those buildings were larger than anything we have now, save the castle itself."
"How long ago did you come upon this?" Gilena asked, leaning towards Benthen from across the table.
"Early this morning. I wanted to inform the Digger's Council about the discovery. They would be better suited at handling this new find then a few laborers with pickaxes. It will probably be the greatest discovery we've ever made." Benthen finished with a broad smile, pouring himself another cup of Darzta.
"I don't doubt it." Gilena replied, absently tracing designs on the tabletop with her finger.
After his third cup, Benthen stood and began idly examining the hinges of Gilena's large cabinets. They were pieces he had crafted for her sometime back.
"So what have I missed since I've been away, discovering the meaning of life and such?" Benthen asked jovially, running a calloused thumb down the side of one of the top hinges.
"A man came through the shield." Gilena replied softly.
"What?!" Benthen yelled, spinning around to face Gilena, an incredulous look on his face.
"I said a man came through the shield yesterday. He came through and landed on his back, right in front of Swai as I was galloping around the perimeter of the shield." Gilena answered, folding her trembling hands on the table.
She was still a bit shook up from that bizarre encounter.
"That's, that's...unbelievable." Benthen said, at a loss for words.
He retook his seat across from Gilena, pouring himself a much needed cup of Darzta. He offered Gilena some, but she declined with a polite shake of her head.
"Isn't it?" Gilena asked, recalling her own sense of bewilderment when Minska appeared before her.
"His name is Minska, and he's from a city called Cyntha that's only a few miles outside of the shield. His tow was attacked by soldiers from small land to the north. He was captured and thrown into the shield, where I almost trampled him on my horse. That's all I was able to find out before Kosh with his Furyrider's came over and escorted Minska back to the castle. He said Minska would be a guest of the queen." Gilena said heatedly at remembering the slight by Kosh.
"Those bastards. They think they should be the authority on everything that happens in this kingdom. You'd think they would have learned better by now." Benthen replied angrily, his cheeks becoming a little flushed.
Gilena wasn't sure if the color of his cheeks was because he was angry or because of all the Darzta he had consumed.
"So, did you exchange pleasantries with you Uncle Kosh?" Benthen asked sarcastically, polishing off his fourth drink.
"Actually, aside from being completely ignored when I tried to tell Kosh what had happened, the family reunion went quite well." Gilena answered, rolling her eyes.
"So, I take it this Minska is now the newest toy for that whimsical idiot that passes for a queen up on the surface?" Benthen asked, stretching into a loud yawn.
"It would seem so." Gilena replied, replacing the stopper to the jug of Darzta and returning it to the cabinet.
"Hey, I wasn't finished with that." Benthen said, staring dejectedly into hi snow empty cup.
"You've had a long day. You should go home and rest now." Gilena said, attempting to steer away Benthen's train of thought from drinking.
"Now that you mention it, I am a bit tired." Benthen replied, rising unsteadily to his feet.
With a wobbly bow to Gilena as he headed for the door, Benthen made his way out into the hallway and headed left.
"The other way." Gilena called out, curling a lock of red hair in her finger as she smiled with both concern and amusement.
A moment later, Benthen made his way in the correct direction, giving Gilena a wave as he passed her doorway. Gilena walked over to the door, righting an overturned stool that Benthen had knocked over on his way out, and watched her old friend. He supported himself on the wall as he made his way down the brightly lit tunnel. With the continuous decline in his ability to walk, Gilena was grateful that he only lived a few homes away from her.
She came back into her home when Benthen finally made it into his. She shut the door and leaned against it a moment. She closed her eyes and tried to imagine the place Benthen had described to her. Her thoughts drifted to that mysterious man she had nearly run over with her horse and his powerful gaze that he locked on her when she had him at sword point.
Even though Gilena had been the one holding the sword, she was given the distinct impression that should he have wished her harm, then her sword wouldn't be enough protection. From that intent look in those penetrating, tranquil eyes, Gilena knew that she held Minska at bay only by his indulgence. There was an honest quality in those features of his that Gilena found both trustworthy and disarming.
She retrieved her sword from the table, a smooth scraping sound filling the quiet room as she unsheathed her sword. She sat down on the stool, continuing with her task of sharpening her sword. Again, she thought of the place Benthen had told her about. She decided that she would go and have a look at it for herself.
User Reviews
Submitted by Registered_S_O (user info) at 2008-03-26 14:24:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I found this pic on some random website. I thought it was funny because it looks like a teacher whose philosophy class I once took.
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2008-03-26 11:20:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/112423
Submitted by Registered_S_O (user info) at 2008-03-25 21:58:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm pleased beyond all measure that my story is getting more hits and reviews for its content. Thank you Uber for keeping my hopes alive.I'm guessing maybe around 100-200 people read this. Thats sweet.
Submitted by Registered_S_O (user info) at 2008-03-25 21:55:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
not gay at all assholy.
Thecaes, you're right, we have seen that a lot. Duncan and Connor Macleod anyone?
Hmm I think I can we a way to slightly change it to put more emphasis on how Benthen insults his own work (the blade) and Gilena glorifying said blade without the aforementioned cliche. Good on u thecaes.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-03-25 16:33:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2008-03-25 15:59:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you can register a sexual offence on my assholy anytime you'd like.
i hope that doesnt sound too gay. i dont want to sound gay.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2008-03-25 15:53:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The second one. It's a scene we've all seen a thousand times before. Two people meet, there's the appearance of aggression, oh, but guess what, they're actually good buddies. That routine has been so played out over the years, through books, TV, movies, whatever, that anytime two people meet for seemingly the first time and they are aggressive to each other, I automatically assume they're good friends. I'm sure you know what I'm talking about, everyone has seen it. It's an annoying cliche because it's so ludicrous. I mean, how many times have you greeted your good friend by acting like you didn't know him and then pretending to punch him in the face?
But your scene, in particular, just...I don't know, it just hit me as weird. Like, I assumed it was the above cliche, but then they continued talking and I wasn't sure for a while, but then it turned out they were friends. That's how it unfolded in my head, anyway...not sure if that's your writing or my interpretation.
Submitted by Registered_S_O (user info) at 2008-03-25 14:53:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2008-03-25 11:00:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good work on this one. The only thing I didn't like was the initial interaction between Gilena and, uh the dude who's name I forget. It didn't seem natural, with her swinging her sword around. After that it was fine, though.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Thanks thecaes. I actually have plans to expand on the odd type of friendship they have. Benthen taught her a lot about fighting. I will write future chapters in a way that makes their initial interaction seem to make sense.
You'll notice that as the chapters get higher, my writing gets slightly better. The more you write, the better you get. Chapter 6 is really cool. In a few days I'll post it. I have some micromanging to do with it first.
Btw, do you mean the way she handled her weapon didn't seem natural or the scene with her seeming to attack benthen but they are really friends didn't seem natural?
Submitted by i_walk_alone (user info) at 2008-03-25 12:16:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2008-03-25 11:00:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good work on this one. The only thing I didn't like was the initial interaction between Gilena and, uh the dude who's name I forget. It didn't seem natural, with her swinging her sword around. After that it was fine, though.
Submitted by Registered_S_O (user info) at 2008-03-25 10:34:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Nice Sico. You bust your ass and get a promotion, so I get a plus two. Win/win for both of us!
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-03-25 10:33:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Auto +2 New Chemist Position Promotion for S.I. Co. Semen
Submitted by Registered_S_O (user info) at 2008-03-25 02:50:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
AsshOly
I'm still in love with that nickname
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2008-03-25 02:13:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Registered_S_O (user info) at 2008-03-24 21:23:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-03-24 20:44:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I still don't like these.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
I still don't care dipshit. If you don't like them, stop clicking on links posted by me. It's like continuing to buy say Stephen King books and then bitching about not liking him as an author (i'm not saying I'm nearly as good as King).
Stop being a shitty alter Ltap.
Submitted by lostnphound (user info) at 2008-03-24 22:17:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Registered_S_O (user info) at 2008-03-24 21:47:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
im spent
Submitted by theBarron (user info) at 2008-03-24 21:28:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
JUST CUZ MY SERIES IS DIFFERENT DOESN'T MEAN YOU HAVE TO BE MEAN!
OH WAIT, FUCK YOU!
Submitted by Registered_S_O (user info) at 2008-03-24 21:23:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-03-24 20:44:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I still don't like these.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
I still don't care dipshit. If you don't like them, stop clicking on links posted by me. It's like continuing to buy say Stephen King books and then bitching about not liking him as an author (i'm not saying I'm nearly as good as King).
Stop being a shitty alter Ltap.
Submitted by Socialist_Joe (user info) at 2008-03-24 21:00:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-03-24 20:46:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ltap is a fucking moron, and an alter.
These are cool, not convinced by the shitty pics at the end though.
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-03-24 20:44:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I still don't like these.
Submitted by Registered_S_O (user info) at 2008-03-24 18:02:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm glad if anyone finds enjoyment out of these.
Submitted by rodyarask (user info) at 2008-03-24 17:53:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I shall read the others now.
Submitted by HellRazer (user info) at 2008-03-24 17:17:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
muy bueno
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-03-24 17:01:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have read all of these but I don't rate everything I read. I must say though, you are turning into quite the little hitwhore :) Good on you.
Submitted by Registered_S_O (user info) at 2008-03-24 14:43:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It could very well be. The other additions I add to my 'serious' work are meant solely for hitwhoring.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-03-24 14:41:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Is that Fat Tony?
God this place sucks today.