A Series of Unfortunate Exclamations (with Camwhore) (23873 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: officestuff
Rating: 1.03 on 197 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Flash Harry (View user info) at 2008-03-25 06:55:47 EDT
'Twas the night before Easter, with beer in my glass,
Down the pub with the work, acting the ass.
The boss was pink-cheeked, I unbuttoned my shirt
And, from what I remember, was a dirty wee flirt.'
Last Thursday my work booked a room in Waxy O'Connor's for Easter drinks. I got there about 5pm and started drinking before I had eaten any dinner. That was my first mistake.
My Boss (who is female) arrived after I'd had a few drinks and parked herself next to me. She made sure I had a drink in front of me all night.
Snippets of conversation:
Flash: I remember when you first started, you were asking where all the talent was in the office.
Boss: Yeah, I though there would be more good-looking guys at the Firm...present company excluded, of course.
Flash: But of course. Hah! I could cut the hormones surrounding you with a knife.
* * *
Co-worker: I have to keep an eye out for my cousin. She's supposed to be coming out tonight.
Flash: She? Really? What age is she?
Co-w: 18.
Flash: 18? Nice. Perfect! Get her to come along here.
Co-w: Em...I don't think so.
Flash: Oh. What age are you?
* * *
Flash: (to co-workers, male and female, who are leaving to catch the train home) Stu...Stu! Yeah, Stu, c'mere...(whispers)...make sure you touch the sides, eh mate...(winks at female).
* * *
Boss: I like your tie.
Flash: I like your face.
* * *
Flash: (playing with tie) And this is how you do a full windsor knot...(hands tie to Boss to try on).
Boss: (pulling it over her head and putting short end down her top) Lovely. What do you do with the wee end anyway? I'll just have to stick it between my boobs...(hands tie back).
Flash: Yeah. That's what I do too...(sniffs tie).
* * *
Flash: I'm so drunk.
Boss: Really? You seem okay. How many pints have you had?
Flash: Four. I haven't eaten. I have this really bad habit of appearing perfectly sober to others, when I'm actually pissed as a fart. You should see inside my head, there's a mad party going on and you're all naked.
* * *
Flash: Shit. It's 10pm...I gotta go home...
Boss: No, c'mon, stay out. We're heading to a club after here...I'll get you another.
Flash: Nah, I really gotta head...(struggles into jacket, plants wet kiss on boss's and co-worker's cheek)...MWAH! MWAH!...have a nice Easter...
* * *
When I got outside the fresh air crippled me. I walked home in a zig-zag formation and had cold cheese on burnt toast when I got in. The next day my tongue was dried onto the roof of my mouth, and peeled off like velcro.
Today is the first day in the office since the night out, and I feel pretty embarassed. But the Boss was being a flirty wee minx too so we're in the same boat.
I hope I don't end up pulling her. Drunken camwhore below:
.jpg)
User Reviews
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-05-15 11:30:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That pic does you ZERO justice
This is a better version, though, and way hotter
http://www.ubersite.com/m/115788
Submitted by HeyJude (user info) at 2009-05-15 11:17:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HAWT!
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-01-26 07:23:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
the internet seems a good start
adult friend finder lol
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2009-01-26 07:22:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
The LGBT club across the road from me has closed down. Bloody credit crunch. Now I'll need to find somewhere else to troll for pre-op trannies.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-01-26 07:18:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2009-01-26 12:12:36 GMT (#)
Ranking: 0
My hands are like shovels
-----------------------
The gays must love that ;)
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2009-01-26 07:12:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
My hands are like shovels
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-01-26 07:01:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
your fingers look huge, kabanos
Submitted by loveinbrevity (user info) at 2008-07-21 11:01:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Toshi (user info) at 2008-05-02 06:24:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
fuck head below, first thing I read on Uber.
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2008-04-30 03:28:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
how the fuck is this pile of mediocrity on baw?
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-13 19:47:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Quite Franky Mr Shankly, this is getting far too many hits, you are catching me up. I am going to send a protest email to bart. I do not likr the cut of your jib.
And a big fat '0' in retal for all mine! Haha.
Yahoo is not my friend tonight, I wait while he is fixed then I send! Look at the time! Dedifuckingcation!
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2008-04-11 11:28:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You should see inside my head, there's a mad party going on and you're all naked.
---
I'm stealing that
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-04-09 10:02:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You lookin' at me?
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-04-08 10:52:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by lexie_98 (user info) at 2008-04-08 10:24:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2008-04-05 16:50:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
For sniffing the tie.
Submitted by Ejryuu (user info) at 2008-04-03 13:23:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"There's a party going on in my head and you're all naked."
Awesome.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-03-27 13:39:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Have a big fat zero back, on me!
----------------------------------
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-03-27 17:11:48 GMT (#)
Ranking: 0
About the blue thing with the white marks over you shoulder: is that a towel?
Are you topless???
*unbuckles*
------------------------------------
No, it is a very old and nasty t shirt, I believe i was decorating that day, hence no make up, or at least, just shit left over from the night before.
It was very low cut, hence the crop. I am not as cheap as I make out to be. REALLY.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-03-27 13:28:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck me, look at the hits!
Haha! I am right behind you on Most Heated!
And drop me an email sometime, go on. I don't bite. :)
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-03-27 12:33:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I can't remember if I mentioned aloud that this is shit.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-03-27 10:59:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
That's my FAVOURITE kind of cuddle! How did you know?
This is so meant to be!
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-03-27 10:57:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i imagine you feel the way I did after giving birth. Emotional, isn't it?
*hugs in a thrust-your-head-in-between-my breasts kind of way*
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-03-27 10:52:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah...its such a proud day.
*lower jaw wobbles*
I promised myself I wouldn't cry...
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-03-27 10:49:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ahhh, you put your post in its own little B@W section.
Cute :)
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-03-27 10:47:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Experima for sure <3. And corn_nugget, and Lisa (netimportant), and Coley, and Amontillado, and ManicMother (capitals optional) and... this could take a while :)
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-03-27 10:39:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Definitely.
And experima too, I reckon. Although I prefer Brits.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-03-27 10:36:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-03-27 14:34:10 GMT (#)
Ranking: 2
Vampires are sexy.
Had to create a new label just for you: http://www.ubersite.com/u/F.J.Bell/l/uberbeauties
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
<3
Needs more LittleMonster :)
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-03-27 10:34:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
B@W????!!!! Bart, you need to get a fuckin' job.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-03-27 09:53:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
:)
*blushes*
*loving it, really*
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-03-27 09:48:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://blogs.indiewire.com/reverseshot/archives/etxe.jpg (NSFW) = you, half an hour into our date.
Hehe.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-03-27 09:46:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You should email me sometime :)
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-03-27 09:28:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Done it :(
============
Turn that frown upside down!
Your first camwhore didn't do you justice, methinks.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-03-27 08:51:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Done it :(
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-03-27 05:48:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Shush, El, don't let on to people that I am nice. I have a repulation to uphold.
Who doesn't love a tart?
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-03-27 05:46:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Whorphelia Baby, you are the whore ;) Fortunatly you have a lovely caring side that we never get to see :(
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-03-27 05:44:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I love tarts.
LOVE 'em.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-03-27 05:43:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
How about tart? :)
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-03-27 05:42:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-03-27 09:39:24 GMT (#)
Ranking: 0
Bored at work, EI?
*chuckles*
---------
Oooh you cheeky scamp i see what you did there.
Orphelia, you calling me a whore is deeply offensive.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-03-27 05:40:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahahahaha
says the guy who whores around every female yanks post. :)
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-03-27 05:39:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Bored at work, EI?
*chuckles*
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-03-27 05:33:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Could you two BE anymore brown tongued
*little dance*
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-03-27 05:27:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ah go on. Go on, go on, go on. Go on, go on, go on, go on, go on.
You don't post often enough and they're always good fun.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-03-27 05:24:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I am a nOOb. No shame in nOObiness.
I was gonna rip off this post on my other account today, with camwhore.
It won't be funny now you made B@W :(
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-03-27 05:19:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hmmm. How long will it be before I'm no longer a 'n00b?'
And thanks darling. I share your excitement.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-03-27 05:13:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ooops, in my excitement I mis-rated!!
Haha a nOOb made B@W, this is more controversial than the Hurty incident.:)
Well Done! Now everyone can see your beautiful eyes. Hehe.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-03-27 05:11:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
OMG congratulations!!!!!!
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-03-27 05:01:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Man you didn't put my ugly mug on B@W did you?
You did?
Damn.
Submitted by netimportant (user info) at 2008-03-27 04:12:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
One time I went to a strip club with some dude who took me home and fucked me in the ass and came on my back
:O
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2008-03-27 02:29:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
(sniffs tie)
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2008-03-26 23:31:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
:)
Submitted by Registered_S_O (user info) at 2008-03-26 22:12:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sorry, btw, this is plus two worthy.
Submitted by Registered_S_O (user info) at 2008-03-26 22:11:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Puerto Rican?
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2008-03-26 18:07:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
eh, they weren't that funny.
nice eyes.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-03-26 16:41:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ok (?)
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2008-03-26 16:08:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was funny. There were some really good one liners.
-P
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-03-26 12:45:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
140 reviews and 1,300 hits is terribly respectable for a guy.
Even if 90% of them are me :(
-----------------------------
It'll never reach the proportions of yours, Orphelia. 5,000+ views and counting.
I visit it every day :)
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2008-03-26 12:02:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
cute.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-03-26 11:28:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
140 reviews and 1,300 hits is terribly respectable for a guy.
Even if 90% of them are me :(
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-03-26 09:29:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah, they sometimes they're more luminous than others.
I've lost count of the amount of times I've been accused of wearing coloured contacts.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-03-26 09:11:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I haven't taken the plastic sheet off yet.
And I need a foot puffy thing.
What colour are your eyes? Are they green?
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-03-26 09:02:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Why you little minx...
I'm bored. How's the new sofa?
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-03-26 09:00:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The only thing cultured in Glasgow is Yakult.
Hohohoho.
:)
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-03-26 08:51:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Cultured, dear.
Or gay, whatever.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-03-26 08:39:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I prefer a nice Pinot Grigio or Châteuneuf-du-Pape,
----------------------------
You're gay??
:)
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-03-26 08:12:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I haven't been drinking pints often recently, which is why got drunk easily. I prefer a nice Pinot Grigio or Châteuneuf-du-Pape, with Macallan on ice before bed time.
I think I'd had 6 by the time I went home, and I was wasted.
Cheap date.
Submitted by whiskey_jack (user info) at 2008-03-25 20:32:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well look at Mary here with his butch 4 pints!
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2008-03-25 18:30:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Boss: I like your tie.
Flash: I like your face.
i invented that line. anytime someone says something liek that to me...nice shoes...nice hat...i like your jacket...anything...i follow up with a 'nice face' or a 'i like your face.'
it's niceeee
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2008-03-25 17:29:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
reminds me of tucker max, charity auction debacle. go read it and youll see what i mean.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2008-03-25 17:08:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahaha, I'm going to have to use that.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-03-25 04:08:31 PDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Another snippet I just remembered:
Boss: Do you wear coloured contact lenses or something?
Flash: No, my eyes are just that pretty.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2008-03-25 15:27:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-03-25 15:26:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Bart is a Portuguese man-of-war.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-03-25 15:09:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
im a spider monkey
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-03-25 15:01:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'M A SEACOW. NOT A COUGAR. YOU ARE A BABY ZEBRA.
Submitted by celtic1888 (user info) at 2008-03-25 14:53:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Your face looks like plantains.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-03-25 14:51:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
cougar below.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-03-25 14:48:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You look like a total freak.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-03-25 14:29:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
shit faced after 4 pints and didn't fuck her.
wow.
that's quite the story.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-03-25 13:40:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Very enjoyable.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-03-25 13:08:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Just so you know, for every picture of yourself you post to the internet 10-1000 bastardizations of that picture will also be posted. (E.X. You fucking your mother, fou fucking your mother fucking your dead grandmother, You in some blasee colonial-decorate living room framed by a asians either defacating into their own face or tearing their anus apart, You pressing the Frappe button for baby/kitten/president head margarittas. Have you ever wondered how you'll look at 40? How about 400? Have you ever wondered how you'd look with the body of a "wabbit" and wings of an "Emu". Have you ever wondered how many people it takes telling you to "die faggot" before you second guess the picture you posted. ... welcome to Disney World.
======================
I hate when people open bracket and then don't close them.
*shakes fist with rage*
Submitted by InkyFingers (user info) at 2008-03-25 13:05:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Just so you know, for every picture of yourself you post to the internet 10-1000 bastardizations of that picture will also be posted. (E.X. You fucking your mother, fou fucking your mother fucking your dead grandmother, You in some blasee colonial-decorate living room framed by a asians either defacating into their own face or tearing their anus apart, You pressing the Frappe button for baby/kitten/president head margarittas. Have you ever wondered how you'll look at 40? How about 400? Have you ever wondered how you'd look with the body of a "wabbit" and wings of an "Emu". Have you ever wondered how many people it takes telling you to "die faggot" before you second guess the picture you posted. ... welcome to Disney World.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-03-25 11:58:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Glasgow good.
Oh noes, don't start with the joke again.
tee hee.
toodles :)
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-03-25 11:56:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
A new sofa? Aw, good for you.
Yes I'm from Glasgow. Is that good or bad?
I had a Glasgow Salad for lunch. Chips.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-03-25 11:53:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yay! I have a new sofa!
Two things - You are from Glasgow?! How did I miss this.
Second, Hurty check your email you fibber.
Byeee.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-03-25 11:52:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i do it with my eyes closed.
----------------------
I bet she does too.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-03-25 11:40:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i do it with my eyes closed.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-03-25 11:39:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-03-25 11:35:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Bonkeyes do it with perpendicular vision.
______
YEAH BABY!
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-03-25 11:37:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I suppose being cock-eyed would mean being able to look at the face and the tits at the same time.
Keeps both teams happy.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-03-25 11:36:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
bonkeyed freaks
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-03-25 11:35:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Bonkeyes do it with perpendicular vision.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-03-25 11:34:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nothing wrong with being bonkeyed.
Tell em Orphy.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-03-25 11:21:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If anyone remembers the post about Creep (http://www.ubersite.com/m/115433) he was at the night out too.
Turns out he's cock-eyed. I don't know how on earth I never noticed that before.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2008-03-25 10:45:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"sniffs tie" -- Ha ha ha ha
You strike me as a funny dude.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-03-25 10:35:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-03-25 14:34:34 GMT (#)
Ranking: 2
I can't be bothered to email you congrats and a picture of my breasts. All this heat has taken it out of me. Congrats, you fetid, mouldy donkey bollock.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I meant to sico.
And scourge, don't be mean. You love a good mushy jerk.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-03-25 10:34:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I can't be bothered to email you congrats and a picture of my breasts. All this heat has taken it out of me. Congrats, you fetid, mouldy donkey bollock.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-03-25 10:34:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
post was okay, but that string of reviews was as fucking obnoxious as a scourge post.
i hate that asshole.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-03-25 10:32:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Auto +2 New Chemist Position Promotion for S.I. Co. Semen
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-03-25 10:16:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Orphelia, you're hilarious.
Thanks for getting me up to the 100 comments toots.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-03-25 10:14:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey, it's getting hot in here!
Lets take off all our clothes! Oh silly me, I'm not wearing any!!
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-03-25 10:13:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You. Play. Rugby?
*faints*
*wakes, rereads*
Rugby.
*dies*
:)
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2008-03-25 09:58:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
YOU CALL THAT A BEARD
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-03-25 09:54:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm back from having some hair removed.
EI, I don't know about tubby but I'm certainly not size zero. I used to play a lot of rugby and never lost the build for it - big arms, big shoulders etc.
It's called THROWDOWN, boy.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-03-25 09:42:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-03-25 13:39:14 GMT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-03-25 13:32:43 GMT (#)
Ranking: 2
*gasp*
You mean, you are not ill?!
It's a miracle!!
---------
OMG are you pregnant AGAIN??
Like that would be a surprise, miss elastic legs.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Getting pregnant had little to do with my legs.
I am not pregnant anyway. Just a little chubby.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-03-25 09:40:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
We have the same beard!
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-03-25 09:39:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-03-25 13:32:43 GMT (#)
Ranking: 2
*gasp*
You mean, you are not ill?!
It's a miracle!!
---------
OMG are you pregnant AGAIN??
Like that would be a surprise, miss elastic legs.
Submitted by DreamWeaver (user info) at 2008-03-25 09:35:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sexy. :)
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-03-25 09:34:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I just felt like giving you a -2, I can't really think of any reason, but have one anyway.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-03-25 09:32:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
*gasp*
You mean, you are not ill?!
It's a miracle!!
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-03-25 09:31:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
work email..............................
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-03-25 09:28:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by SweetSoph69 (user info) at 2008-03-25 13:17:48 GMT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-03-25 09:11:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by SweetSoph69 (user info) at 2008-03-25 13:05:38 GMT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow, that's a big vagina!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What happened to you being nice? Hmmmm? Tut.
-------------
Hey, I'm not insulting you, just observing!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Don't believe everything sico says!
Sent back, LM!
El, I don't even know which email ad you use anymore!!
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-03-25 09:22:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
well thats told me :(
Submitted by SweetSoph69 (user info) at 2008-03-25 09:17:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-03-25 09:11:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by SweetSoph69 (user info) at 2008-03-25 13:05:38 GMT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow, that's a big vagina!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What happened to you being nice? Hmmmm? Tut.
-------------
Hey, I'm not insulting you, just observing!
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-03-25 09:16:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
is anyone sending me anything?
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-03-25 09:15:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sent girly.
Hope I can be of help.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-03-25 09:11:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by SweetSoph69 (user info) at 2008-03-25 13:05:38 GMT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow, that's a big vagina!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What happened to you being nice? Hmmmm? Tut.
( & Thanks LM!!)
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-03-25 09:09:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
can someone email me pls
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-03-25 09:07:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sure orphy, will do.
Submitted by SweetSoph69 (user info) at 2008-03-25 09:05:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow, that's a big vagina!
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-03-25 09:01:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Pineapple? Pssshaaaw, your bajiner can house an orchard!
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-03-25 08:55:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
LittleMonster, will you email me please? I have something to ask. Email is on my first post.
I am a girl and I won't be pervy. :)
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-03-25 08:54:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Heat is everything.
El, I am a girl. We don't poop. And ok, I was lying about the pineapple.
Or was I?
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-03-25 08:54:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
dooby
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-03-25 08:53:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
doobydoobydoo
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-03-25 08:50:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Man, this post's got more heat than EI's breath/wanking hand/ass-finger.
Ba-Zing!
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-03-25 08:50:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
LOVE YOU GUYS.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-03-25 08:49:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
with the right guy?? because thats what you have to worry about, not the spikey exterior that will rip your vageen to shreds.
EI's Lunchtime thoughts.
Mr Bell is a bit tubby.
Orphelia is so filthy that she shits outta her fanny.
HBTS is a sweet, caring, misunderstood man. Whose girlfriend is lovely.
Sico is eats sweets with the wrappers still on.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-03-25 08:48:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
El, you haven't seen my tuppence, stop saying it looks like a kiwi.:(
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-03-25 08:46:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
A pineapple? Hmm.
I'm going to the barbers. Back in a bit.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-03-25 08:44:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-03-25 12:42:45 GMT (#)
Ranking: 0
orphelias vagina looks like a kiwi fruit
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Cue sico saying 'no, but it can hold a whole pineapple'
(it can't, but with the right guy, trying might be fun)
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-03-25 08:44:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
im eating it right now, hang on this is a kiwi fruit, silly me, they look so alike
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-03-25 08:43:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You have never seen it!
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-03-25 08:42:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
orphelias vagina looks like a kiwi fruit
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-03-25 08:42:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't wear panties. Except maybe on windy days.
---------------------------------------
You're getting me hot.
Call me tonight, I mean it.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-03-25 08:42:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
yeah and what a nipple, i turned it upside down and tried to balance on it.
im all excited, some girl other than my gf wants to sleep with me. maybe.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-03-25 08:41:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't wear panties. Except maybe on windy days.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-03-25 08:40:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-03-25 08:40:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
How would you know El, I only showed you a nipple!
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-03-25 08:39:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
have you been sniffing orphelias panties again?
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-03-25 08:39:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Frankthebear? Bwahahahahahahahahahahaha.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-03-25 08:39:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Two or three below or some shit. I don't have a clue anymore, maths is not my forte. I should never have started this! Arrrrgh!
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-03-25 08:39:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
whoppers is a compliment
maybe
good one hurty and well executed
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-03-25 08:38:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Isn't on the list below.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-03-25 08:37:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hottest ever consists of Flash and Drogo.
The hot list is extensive but mainly just used to curry favour. It used to have on Emmision but he said I had whoppers.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-03-25 08:35:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
even frankthebears on the list
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-03-25 08:34:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That list includes Beatlegeuse, Corky, and Terri Schiavo...it's not really a compliment.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-03-25 08:34:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
It is an honour to be inducted into such an exclusive club.
========
It's not exactly exclusive buddy.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-03-25 08:31:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I added you to my 'hottest ever'. <3
--------------------------------
It is an honour to be inducted into such an exclusive club.
Many thank, sweet Orphelia.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-03-25 08:31:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
o rly
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-03-25 08:29:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
She's got a boyfriend but I don't think that would stop her. I'll just have to make sure I don't see her in that kind of situation again without someone there to kick me under the table when I get suggestive.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-03-25 08:29:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I love tall men.
*swoons*
I added you to my 'hottest ever'. <3
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2008-03-25 08:28:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahaha!
I love these work nights out. You'll end up pulling her, once it starts, it doesn't stop until something happens to make it stop.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-03-25 08:26:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
wow i wonder where sweetsoph is?? hmm i miss her
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-03-25 08:25:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah.
Are you stalking me?
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-03-25 08:24:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
and 22 years of age?
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-03-25 08:23:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
A bit taller and a bit lighter, Sonic.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-03-25 08:22:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Mr Bell how tall are you and what do you weigh.
I guess 5ft 10 and 14 1/2 stone
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-03-25 08:21:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
uh oh
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-03-25 08:20:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
you ar eas good looking as my arse
that being said its a nice arse
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-03-25 08:18:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I might do that. Would be worth a giggle.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-03-25 08:17:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
*blushes*
:)
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-03-25 08:17:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
All I got for easter was concussion.
--------------------------
Brilliant. You should put that on a t-shirt.
A tight one.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-03-25 08:15:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-03-25 12:14:29 GMT (#)
Ranking: -2
Oh i heard nothing, was just asking!! I hear she's a bit of a stunner.
=============
Accurate. You're being weirder than usual.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-03-25 08:15:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well done kitten, sterling effort on your boss there.
You're good looking too.....what the fuck are you doing on ubersite?!?!?
Easter was a blast this year. My step fathers birthday party ended up in a brawl and I spent the later part of the evening trying to convince people not to call the police and clearing blood/sick and wine off the walls/floor/celing/windows.
All I got for easter was concussion.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-03-25 08:14:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Oh i heard nothing, was just asking!! I hear she's a bit of a stunner.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-03-25 08:13:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-03-25 12:10:52 GMT (#)
Ranking: 2
There he is!!!!!!!!! Hows ya girlfriend!!
========
Um, she's fine... Why? What have you heard?
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-03-25 08:11:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
that is funny
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-03-25 08:11:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Skirt. Hah!
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-03-25 08:10:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
There he is!!!!!!!!! Hows ya girlfriend!!
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-03-25 08:10:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like how EI starts off +2ing this, then gets his pussy hurt, and goes to -2's. What a skirt!
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-03-25 08:10:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Quelle surprise. EI thinks I'm another new user. Colour me not surprised.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-03-25 08:08:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
yep i am and its a real shame...........i wonder where hurty is hiding
*shock horror*
****snigger****
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-03-25 08:07:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I love Orphelia.
Phone me tonight, darling.
Submitted by SweetSoph69 (user info) at 2008-03-25 08:06:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-03-25 08:03:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by SweetSoph69 (user info) at 2008-03-25 12:01:02 GMT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well, I'm sorry if it's offended you!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Haha, no, not at all. I am just teasing. I hope you live up to your name.
------------
Yeah I'd kind of noticed, I try to be nice!
And what is Sweet Valey (sic) High, Emission? Feeling left out?!
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-03-25 08:05:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-03-25 12:02:35 GMT (#)
Ranking: -2
its like an epsiode of sweet valey high on this post
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
How would you know?
I am just hanging out in the vein hope the poster might one day show me his willy if I +2 him enough. Thats what you guys do, right El? :)
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-03-25 08:05:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Far too many bitches around here :)
------------------------------
This site is a sausage-fest. The more dirty flirts the better!
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-03-25 08:03:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by SweetSoph69 (user info) at 2008-03-25 12:01:02 GMT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well, I'm sorry if it's offended you!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Haha, no, not at all. I am just teasing. I hope you live up to your name.
Far too many bitches around here :)
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-03-25 08:02:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
its like an epsiode of sweet valey high on this post
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2008-03-25 08:02:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ew. Chinstrap.
Well, at least you didn't do anything stupid and you'll probably end up teabaggin' your boss. So high five, I guess.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-03-25 08:01:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Shut up sico, you rabid, wet and bubbly ferret fart.
I will kick you in the balls, if you ever grow some.
Submitted by SweetSoph69 (user info) at 2008-03-25 08:01:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well, I'm sorry if it's offended you!
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-03-25 08:00:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Orphelia is jealous that she didn't get a whore name. I'll cunt kick you, slut.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-03-25 07:57:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by SweetSoph69 (user info) at 2008-03-25 11:50:05 GMT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-03-25 07:46:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
SweetSoph69?
-------------
Hey! I've seen much worse on here!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Like what? The 69 bit, hey, I dig that. But come on, SweetSoph?!
:)
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-03-25 07:50:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
unbelievable
Submitted by SweetSoph69 (user info) at 2008-03-25 07:50:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-03-25 07:46:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
SweetSoph69?
-------------
Hey! I've seen much worse on here!
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-03-25 07:49:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The little chin-strap beard has been replaced with all-over stubble.
I'm not much of a gardener.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-03-25 07:47:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I haven't read the text yet, I am here for the perv.
Your eyes look sexy.
So does your jaw.
And your lips.
*sigh*
I have another crush... :)
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-03-25 07:46:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
SweetSoph69?
*blarf*
That is a terrible username!
Submitted by SweetSoph69 (user info) at 2008-03-25 07:44:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I went there once, I've got to agree it was pretty darn warm.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-03-25 07:43:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Thats my story and I'm sticking to it.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-03-25 07:42:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Sure, blame the heat, not your inability to hold a drink...
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-03-25 07:39:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah I think thats why I got so drunk. It was a like a warm, snug little cave and when I got outside into the Glasgow night I almost collapsed.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-03-25 07:37:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Was Waxy's the usual boiling temperature?
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-03-25 07:17:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
An eye competition? What the...do I have to do anything?
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-03-25 07:10:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
well im willing to have an eye competition with you you big doofus
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-03-25 07:08:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Another snippet I just remembered:
Boss: Do you wear coloured contact lenses or something?
Flash: No, my eyes are just that pretty.
I'm such a plonker when I'm drunk.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-03-25 07:06:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Also, please wash your hair and use proactive. I'll be back later to belittle you more.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-03-25 06:59:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You are what I imagine sicosemen' and HBTS lovechild to look like.
Not that I imagine that very often.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-03-25 06:57:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Holy christ, you are ugly; we could probably make sausage on your face. You should get a facendectomy and just get over it.