It came from the Virtual Looking Glass... (789 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 0.54 on 25 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by JesterLilt (View user info) at 2008-03-25 16:32:16 EDT
In Loving Memory...
Everything seems hopeless. Every time she looks through the panes of glass in her house out into the world there is a sea of grey mist blanking out the light of day. There is no sunshine anymore, the world seems empty, all joy lost without even a trace of a happy memory.
Her two little girls play on the floor after their tea, laughing, giggling whilst cartoons boom forth from the TV. A bubble surrounds their glee, she cannot enter, and she cannot absorb any happiness from their lives played out before her. Only anguish engulfs her and she finds no sanctuary in their unfettered laughter.
How did she get to this place?
She cannot think how it all got so bad, when everything lost its meaning and ceased to matter. She cannot remember when she lost her purpose and ambition nor remember when life was easy, when the world came naturally and was something to embrace.
Now, whilst her kids are at school filling their happy little heads up with the interesting facts of the world she sits alone, fag and cup of coffee, surfing the internet. Nobody calls at her door anymore for a cup of tea and chat. They all assume she is busy getting on with life, working, bringing up her kids, going away on family weekends. They are busy getting on with life.
Her pallid complexion stares back at her from behind her monitor, eyes an empty abyss knowing now only one thing...
They wait...
patiently...
tick... tock...
Her eyes know the time is coming, the abyss waits for her and very soon the darkness will fall.
Trawling the internet she happens across like-minded people. She asks, hesitantly at first, "How would you do it?"
Many responses come, many shrieks from the four corners of the globe from others as miserable and desecrated as her. Souls torn and fragmented pour their woes out through her screen. They are whispering to her, knowing her, 'You should do it... It will make everything better. People are better without you.' Like wraiths they got to her through her computer slowly setting her on her path. None can cry anymore just lament that it should all be over but for want of one last ounce of courage... then, only then would there be peace again.
"What is the best technique? How can I do it that there will be no coming back? God help me if they bring me back!"
Then one day her answer comes. For the first time in she can't remember how long her heart flurries and misses a beat. She has found the answer, she knows what she must do and she must get started, no interruptions, no distractions for fear she would lose her resolve.
In the afternoon her mother called.
"How are you, do you need anything? Do you know I haven't seen you in nearly a fortnight? How are the kids?"
"The kids are fine, I'm fine, I've just been busy. I promise I will see you soon."
"Well, as long as you're sure... I was heading for the supermarket this afternoon, is there anything I can get you?"
"No mum, there's nothing, I'll call you soon and we can arrange to do something... maybe you could have the kids?"
"I'd like that, I've not seen much of them recently, I love you and I'll speak to you soon."
"I love you to mum."
"Mum, wait..."
"Yes?"
"Erm... no, it doesn't matter... Or even... next time you speak to dad, send him my best wishes and tell him I love him."
"Ok honey, are you sure you're alright?"
"Yes, fine, everything is fine. I have to get going, speak soon."
Click
Tonight, it would happen tonight. It was Easter Sunday tomorrow and she could not face it. Her mother would call in the morning and she would ask her to bring the kids over for dinner. She began to make her preparations.
8pm came; she shuffled her children upstairs ready to put them down for the night. Pyjamas on, favourite blankets and a goodnight kiss.
"Mum, can you leave the door open a crack to let some light in?"
"Yes, no problem sweetie, keep the light with you, now close your eyes and go to sleep."
Half an hour later she made her preparations packing everything she needed into her overnight bag she used sometimes for work. She slipped into the cold frosty night. The tanginess of spring had been sheared from the air by unseasonal cold. There had been snow but the moon was bright.
She made her way along the road until she came to the tracks. Her toes were numb at the ends of her trainers, her knuckles blue as they gripped the strap of her overnight bag. She could hear the sound of cars whizzing through the night, going here, going there but not daring to follow her on her quest this night.
She reached the railway bridge and walked until she was halfway along. Kneeling, she placed her bag on the ground and emptied its contents.
One rope, one note...
She prepared her knots as she had seen it done on the internet into the required length of rope wrapping it around the cold metal beams which supported the railway bridge, preventing the whole bridge from tumbling into the fierce black river below. She did not shake, she was not scared, she was sure and steady, and she had resolve.
She stuck her note to a steel beam to the right of the rope and hesitantly lifted the loop over her head placing it under her chin with the knot to the rear. She climbed over the railing, hands gripping the edge looking down into the sweeping river below. It appeared to snatch up at her and she smiled, 'you will not catch me tonight fierce river, you shall not have me.'
In her head she counted to three, took one last look at the moon and she stepped off...
And she fell...
The rope jerked taught...
The knot tightened...
Her neck snapped, not heard above the rush of the water below. She swung like a marionette in the moonlight finally dancing, hopping and laughing whist the river raged beneath, whilst a train screeched overhead sending the remnants of her soul fleeing in the cold spring breeze.
User Reviews
Submitted by myshit (user info) at 2008-07-22 04:13:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I didn't like this very much
Submitted by The-Armed-Samurai (user info) at 2008-07-06 04:01:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by silverbolt (user info) at 2008-06-10 03:32:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-05-07 12:06:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hugs
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-03-26 20:05:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by MyTeeOne (user info) at 2008-03-26 19:42:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
The beginning of this didn't work for me. The actual killing is well written but the build up doesn't really build up. (It's a common complaint of mine with suicide pieces).
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2008-03-26 18:25:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Bloody brilliant result for Scotland though, only a draw against Croatia but Croatia beat England and they've been pipped by the frogs so all is well in my sporting world!
Submitted by earth_collapse (user info) at 2008-03-26 12:51:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't know how much I connected to the story, a little melodramatic, but nicely written.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-03-26 12:50:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah, go and watch England get papped by the Frogs.
That'll cheer you up.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-03-26 12:47:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Bugger it. I'm going to go to the pub.
LOOK WHAT YOU'VE MADE ME DO
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-03-26 12:45:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No. I'm stuffing brownies into my mouth as fast as I can chew them and looking longingly at the wine and sharp objects.
*sniffles*
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-03-26 12:43:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Are you okay, LittleM?
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2008-03-26 12:14:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-03-26 16:03:15 GMT (#)
Ranking: 2
Shitting hell.
That is gueniunely upsetting.
---------------------------------
Cool, that's what I was going for
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-03-26 12:03:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Shitting hell.
That is gueniunely upsetting.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2008-03-26 11:05:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Do people actually use the word "fortnight" in casual conversation these days?
I've actually seen this conversation in forums. You always hope that the person asking "how can I kill myself AND make it painless AND make it look like an accident" is pulling a prank, but all the same...
Submitted by celtic1888 (user info) at 2008-03-26 10:26:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2008-03-26 09:28:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2008-03-26 03:11:44 GMT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good. Depressing but good. I have always hated the word 'whilst'. You seem to adore it.
I'll endeavor to use the word 'whilst' less often.
Word I can't stand = awaiting = euch, horrid word.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-03-26 09:02:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Evil indeed is the man who has not one woman to mourn him.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-03-26 08:44:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
what a drag
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2008-03-25 23:11:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good. Depressing but good. I have always hated the word 'whilst'. You seem to adore it.
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2008-03-25 18:41:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah, I usually don't do depressing but something moved me.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2008-03-25 18:26:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
this turned my smile upside-down. +2!!
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2008-03-25 16:48:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No probs, I would only read it if you're in the mood for something seriously depressing.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-03-25 16:45:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I didn't read this but I feel as though I only owe it to you for ruining your streak. That being said, don't get used to it, homo whore.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-03-25 16:39:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Not my bag, baby.