The BOSH Man! BECOMES TRAINED IN FIRST AID!! (805 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.86 on 52 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Dude, thats BOSH! (View user info) at 2008-03-26 13:56:55 EDT
I had first aid training this morning.. from 10 - 12. I Didn't really want to be there but they needed at least 4 people to justify the cost of training, and I was bored with what I was doing in my office, so I manned up and took the 4th seat. Now I take first aid seriously and I don't want to make a mockery of the training.. I did learn a few things and its nice to know that if something goes wrong, I am able to help, but at the same time, I felt like I needed to be prepared for absolutely anything that might go wrong at the workplace.
They started with the basics: knowing where the first aid cabinets are, fire escape plans, eye-wash stations, MSDS awareness, poison control numbers, things like that.
They taught us about how to properly dress light wounds, how to care for someone who's asthmatic and without their inhaler, diabetic, light-headed, someone who is choking, etc.. complete with video and hands-on training. After a while I started yawning a bit and needed something to participate in before falling completely asleep. Like I said, its not that all this was exceedingly boring, but at the same time, the mountain of paperwork at my desk wasn't going anywhere and this wasn't providing an ample distraction. I asked the first of many seemingly obvious-only-to-me questions to be prepared for any work related incident.
We were talking about job-related injuries, and I asked that if I witness a co-worker walking in the parking lot on lunch break all of a sudden stop out of shock/surprise when he sees a wild turkey standing on the hood of his brand new truck, then proceed to run furiously towards it with arms flailing in an effort to shoo the turkey away when all of a sudden he loses control of himself and falls down, scraping both elbows.. would it be considered a job-related injury? (true story, by the way, and the answer was no, but I was informed that I would still be able to dress his wounds, after making sure the fall victim was aware that I was trained in first-aid, and also making sure he wanted my assistance.)
Also, on a similar yet unrelated topic, I know what to do if someone loses a finger by way of a table saw, or has their femur protruding through their skin from getting hit by a car..
Oh and if you ever cut your wrist and hit the artery so that blood is projectile squirting 4 feet in the air, I got you covered. Emos beware
I am also trained to make a sling for a separated shoulder or broken arm out of a tee-shirt and some cardboard (mine was the best in the class!)
I also learned that Epi-Pens are not to be jabbed into someone's neck (somewhere on the outside of their leg between the hip and knee will suffice), especially if they do not have any allergies whatsoever, no matter how annoying they are.
Also, if you ever visit me at work and have a headache, I know where the aspirin is, so that's a plus.
User Reviews
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-04-26 09:52:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
4. What is your purpose in life?
She's 6800 miles away
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AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
Are you going or what?
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2008-04-05 00:10:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-03-28 16:15:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
But did they teach you how to put people out of their misery? That's an important first aid technique.
If the pain is too much, simply pull out a pair of scissors, and slit across the throat in a forceful fashion.
Repeat as necessary.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2008-03-27 21:37:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What do you do if Scruggs kicks you in the junk?
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-03-27 16:58:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2008-03-27 09:36:08 PDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ohh on that note.. any frequent fliers have any tips on making air travel easy for someone who is deathly afraid of airplanes?
i watched Die Hard the other day and that one guy said to take my shoes and socks off and curl my toes into fists.. but i don't know if thats real or just made up for the movie.
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Take off is what gets me, feels so unnatural. Can't remember the name of the pill I took for my trip back home (yeah, I left out the beginning, what of it?), but it was a motion sickness/knock you the fuck out pill, and it was great.
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2008-03-27 14:13:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
BOSHman! Don't be afraid of planes! Just go with the flow! Look at the statistics, if you think it might help you: http://www.fearlessflight.com/airplane-disasters-plane-crash-statistics
Breathe. Talk to the person next to you. Ask your flight attendant if she can suggest anything - it's their job. Chew gum. If you honestly can't stand the thought of getting on the plane, get a prescription for Xanax, or take something non-prescribed that will knock you out, like Gravol or Nyquil.
Short of actual teleportation, best thing you can do is just get on the plane and think about where you're going, not where you're at right now.
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2008-03-27 13:39:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Comment
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-03-27 13:29:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2008-03-27 12:55:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yay
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-03-27 12:55:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
BOSH AID.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-03-27 12:51:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That sounds gangsta, blood. Straight gangsta.
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2008-03-27 12:36:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ohh on that note.. any frequent fliers have any tips on making air travel easy for someone who is deathly afraid of airplanes?
i watched Die Hard the other day and that one guy said to take my shoes and socks off and curl my toes into fists.. but i don't know if thats real or just made up for the movie.
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2008-03-27 12:34:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
a week from tomorrow
i am petrified
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2008-03-27 12:17:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hurry up BOSHman! Go to China! You will save all the dyings!
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2008-03-27 07:27:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
First aid classes are so boring and they haven't convinced me not to let some stranger die if the opportunity presesnted itself.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-03-26 23:18:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2PERKman!
Submitted by HellRazer (user info) at 2008-03-26 21:46:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
One time I got epi-penned in the thigh. I don't have any allergies, but my friend wanted to see what it would do. What we didn't know at the time was that epinphrene(sp?) is basically pure adrenaline. I though my heart was going to explode, but I could've beaten the entire Nazi regime by myself.
Good times.
Submitted by Registered_S_O (user info) at 2008-03-26 21:36:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You have always amused me.
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2008-03-26 20:15:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
not an alter :(
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2008-03-26 18:59:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Has it ever come out who's alter The Boshman is? I still think it's Adams or something.
Submitted by Badlands (user info) at 2008-03-26 18:46:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Bosh Man.
Submitted by MyTeeOne (user info) at 2008-03-26 18:09:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I got asked to leave a CPR training once. I kept shouting "LIVE DAMN YOU LIVE" to my CPR dummy.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-03-26 17:50:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Ooooooooh
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-03-26 17:50:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I, on the other hand, got a lust for life.
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2008-03-26 17:32:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i hate my life
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-03-26 17:08:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-03-26 16:51:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
some guys who i worked with in the forest would shoot Epi-Pens just for kicks...it was fucked up.
Submitted by lostnphound (user info) at 2008-03-26 16:49:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dude that's BLISS. <--- Should be your new username. I'll let you buy it off me for $500,000 or you can just take it...or whatever.
Submitted by dithered (user info) at 2008-03-26 16:41:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This post is exactly 12.3% more BOSH than your last one.
That's progress.
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2008-03-26 16:38:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
no, but damn that is serioulsy BOSH!!!!!
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-03-26 16:31:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Lasers, eh? You involved with this? http://www.moonvertising.com/
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2008-03-26 16:02:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I could so see this being its own BOSH(!) series. "The BOSH Man! rescues Steve from ACCOUNTING!" or "The BOSH Man! Epi-Pens EARL SCRUGGS IN THE FACE!"
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2008-03-26 15:43:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
nevermind its mississippi :(
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2008-03-26 15:43:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
well, in my head MS = missouri, so i was right!
i realize now thats its MO.
in fact i'm pretty sure MS doesn't even exist.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-03-26 15:40:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nope. Kansas City, Missouri.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-03-26 15:39:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You can always embellish. Years from now, when you're bouncing your grandchildren on your knee, tell them about the time one of them lasers malfunctioned and shot a beam straight at your balls and it was only with quick thinking and the help of Ted Nugent shooting the laser and disabling it that you were able to escape a premature vasectomy.
Tell them "and thank God for that otherwise I couldn't have made your pappy and then none of y'all would be here now! So next time you see your Uncle Ted, thank the man and toss him a beer."
It's the kind of story told by many a Grampys in this country.
Sure it's a lie but at 3 years old, what the hell do they know?
Ok, none of that made sense.
I'm sorry.
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2008-03-26 15:35:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
where are you again? MS? I know for a fact we have 2 of our systems at 2 different hospitals in MS.
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2008-03-26 15:33:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
yep!
wish i knew more about how they worked.. but i get to play with some of the tubes once in a while.. burned a hole in my shirt (and almost my arm) with one once... its a story i still tell by the cooking fire today.
Either way, its cool to be around the technology.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-03-26 15:32:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Still in medical lasers?
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2008-03-26 15:30:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
well i had a treasure map making business for a while, didn't pan out in the end though..
molly hatchet lets me crash at their pad once in a while.. but in the end, even The BOSH Man! NEEDS A PAYCHECK!!
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2008-03-26 15:23:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I never pictured you with a job.
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2008-03-26 14:58:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i'm a total professional, and not only that but after todays course i am qualified as well.
nothing to fear!
Submitted by beer-turtle (user info) at 2008-03-26 14:57:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Jesus I hope I NEVER get hurt near you man.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-03-26 14:56:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"I also learned that Epi-Pens are not to be jabbed into someone's neck (somewhere on the outside of their leg between the hip and knee will suffice), especially if they do not have any allergies whatsoever, no matter how annoying they are."
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Damn. Who wants to buy a collection of expired Epi-Pens and a blowgun?
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2008-03-26 14:40:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ahahahahahaa - I LOVE YOU!!
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Instructor: "Ok. Now we're going to demonstrate the Heimlick maneuver. Forensic, if you noticed someone choking, you do what?"
Me: "I find it best not to get involved in the private matters of other people."
Instructor: "Forensic, do I have to call your boss again?"
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-03-26 14:13:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
We were talking about job-related injuries, and I asked that if I witness a co-worker walking in the parking lot on lunch break all of a sudden stop out of shock/surprise when he sees a wild turkey standing on the hood of his brand new truck, then proceed to run furiously towards it with arms flailing in an effort to shoo the turkey away when all of a sudden he loses control of himself and falls down, scraping both elbows.. would it be considered a job-related injury? (true story, by the way, and the answer was no, but I was informed that I would still be able to dress his wounds, after making sure the fall victim was aware that I was trained in first-aid, and also making sure he wanted my assistance.)
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Hahahaha turkey on the truck!
I tended to be a smart ass too at CPR class, Disaster class, and PCI (Physical Crises Intervention--i.e. body slamming motherfuckers who are out of control) class.
Instructor: "Ok. Now we're going to demonstrate the Heimlick maneuver. Forensic, if you noticed someone choking, you do what?"
Me: "I find it best not to get involved in the private matters of other people."
Instructor: "Forensic, do I have to call your boss again?"
sigh
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2008-03-26 14:06:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2008-03-26 14:05:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
They stopped him from CPR training. We don't want any pregnant CPR dummies.
____________________
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2008-03-26 14:05:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
next time I get a nasty papercut I know who to call!
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2008-03-26 14:05:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
They stopped him from CPR training. We don't want any pregnant CPR dummies.
Submitted by FATMANTPK (user info) at 2008-03-26 14:03:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Tie a tourniquet (sic?) around victims neck if they have a bloody nose...or if they are jerks!
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-03-26 14:00:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
This didn't live up to BOSH standards.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-03-26 14:00:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No CPR?
Unbosh.