A Short Story About Jack McCallum (988 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 1.22 on 62 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by HotWillie (View user info) at 2008-03-28 01:01:43 EDT
This was submitted for a 500 word contest on writing.com
Jack McCallum eased the head of his cock just a smidgeon past Bubba's purple-tinged bunghole. "Wow," he thought, "balls deep!"
He'd fucked a lot of smelly old men, but Jack had never been quite this excited before and was already thinking about how to work it in - heh - work it in - he needed to remember that - one of his lunchtime quickies. His production had dropped off a bit lately, and he'd never forgive himself if he let that asshole Apollo pass him on the MVA.
Just then, Bubba farted as if he was waking up, so Jack reached around and grabbed hold of his soft titty hair. Time to pound it home!
As usual, he felt a little weepy when he ejaculated, and salty tears dribbled down his cheeks and mixed with his lukewarm protein. He pulled out his midnight-blue semi and spread his load across Bubba's butt crack like cheese on a Ritz. "Sooooo tasty," he thought, praying Bubba wouldn't wake up and demand a snowball. "And I get it all for myself!"
After he'd withdrawn his deposit and Bubba's anus had been licked clean, Jack urinated on his face to awaken him, as was their custom.
Bubba's eyes fluttered open and he gazed up with such an adoring smile Jack almost believed he could get partially erect again. "Wish you'd brought another Viagra," Bubba hissed, reading Jack's mind.
As he shook lil' Jackie, Bubba's head jerked back and forth like a cobra, catching each golden drop. When he was finally dry, he rubbed his vienna across Bubba's lips nice and slow to tease the old paedo.
After several hours, Jack said: "Boy, you were sound asleep. You missed the best part."
Bubba grinned sheepishly. "I was fakin'."
Jack threw his balding head back, scratched his middle aged pot belly, and roared with laughter. "You tricked me! Again!"
Bubba nodded seductively.
"You know what that means, you crazy bastard!"
Bubba nodded once more, licking his quivering lips in anticipation.
"Good thing I had corned beef for lunch," Jack said, squatting over Bubba's open maw like a mother bird feeding her young.
As Jack McCallum's feces flowed toward his eager mouth, Bubba thought, "Crazy like a fox."
User Reviews
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-05-28 14:18:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yuck
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2008-04-04 23:54:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Registered_S_O (user info) at 2008-04-02 23:45:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
lol
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-03-30 15:00:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
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Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-03-30 03:58:55 BST (#)
Ranking: -2
it was a dark and stormy night. i poured myself another jack and adjusted the showerhead toward my arsehole.
i downed the last and finished cleaning my johnson.
as i stepped out of the shower i felt a familiar scrotal tingling so i logged on and its just as i suspected.
dispatch: whats your 20?
willie: dryin my jacksons.
dispatch: blow 'em fast we got a negative two in progress.
willie: a circle jerk? where?
dispatch: ubersite, where the fuck you think?
willie: is it them again?
dispatch: who else?
willie: the twin gorgons! orphelia and experima!
dispatch: suspects old and dangerous. proceed with caution.
willie: roger that.
as soon as i rolled up i could smell it. like a fish market in july.
break it up i said, holding my nose, but it was no use.
i reached for my radio, eyes burning.
ragman's coat! doubled! i need back up right now! right now motherfucker!
but it was too late.
the stench overwhelmed me, and i was down for the count.
5
4
3
-2
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You just became my favourite UberUser. That is too funny, and true!
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-03-30 01:42:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by PepsiCoke (user info) at 2008-03-29 14:45:27 PDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2008-03-29 13:57:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by PepsiCoke (user info) at 2008-03-28 19:02:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2008-03-28 15:32:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
McCallum spazzing was lame. Your homoerotic fascination with him is marginally lamer.
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Breeder
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OMG the reeking barefoot hippy bisexual slutboy is right. I like broads. :-(
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You're stupid.
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lol pwned
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2008-03-29 18:22:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by PepsiCoke (user info) at 2008-03-29 17:45:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2008-03-29 13:57:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by PepsiCoke (user info) at 2008-03-28 19:02:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2008-03-28 15:32:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
McCallum spazzing was lame. Your homoerotic fascination with him is marginally lamer.
----------------
Breeder
---------
OMG the reeking barefoot hippy bisexual slutboy is right. I like broads. :-(
--------------------------
You're stupid.
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OMG THE COMEBACK! IT BURNS! IT CHARS! IT PARBOILS!
Submitted by PepsiCoke (user info) at 2008-03-29 17:45:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2008-03-29 13:57:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by PepsiCoke (user info) at 2008-03-28 19:02:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2008-03-28 15:32:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
McCallum spazzing was lame. Your homoerotic fascination with him is marginally lamer.
----------------
Breeder
---------
OMG the reeking barefoot hippy bisexual slutboy is right. I like broads. :-(
--------------------------
You're stupid.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2008-03-29 13:57:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by PepsiCoke (user info) at 2008-03-28 19:02:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2008-03-28 15:32:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
McCallum spazzing was lame. Your homoerotic fascination with him is marginally lamer.
----------------
Breeder
---------
OMG the reeking barefoot hippy bisexual slutboy is right. I like broads. :-(
Submitted by DasHeer (user info) at 2008-03-29 12:34:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2008-03-29 12:16:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahaha
This was great. I liked "You tricked me! Again!" the best.
Submitted by Fartman (user info) at 2008-03-29 07:01:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Is it just me or did this seem kind of gay?
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2008-03-28 22:51:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm Horse72.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-03-28 22:16:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2008-03-28 17:50:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
"his midnight-blue semi"
+1 because you gave jack a rodney...
You need to get out more.
--
No, THIS is my Midnight Blue Semi...
http://www.ubersite.com/m/91263
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2008-03-28 19:15:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Everyone just take a minute, and think of the aroma that would waif up between those two.
Better yet, let's not.
Submitted by PepsiCoke (user info) at 2008-03-28 19:02:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2008-03-28 15:32:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
McCallum spazzing was lame. Your homoerotic fascination with him is marginally lamer.
----------------
Breeder
Submitted by BeforeEmily (user info) at 2008-03-28 18:05:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I threw up a few times, but it was funny.
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2008-03-28 17:50:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
"his midnight-blue semi"
+1 because you gave jack a rodney...
You need to get out more.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-03-28 17:21:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2008-03-28 12:32:39 PDT (#)
Ranking: -2
McCallum spazzing was lame. Your homoerotic fascination with him is marginally lamer.
-----
Irony.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-03-28 15:58:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-03-28 15:55:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2008-03-28 15:32:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
McCallum spazzing was lame. Your homoerotic fascination with him is marginally lamer.
===========================
marginally?!
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2008-03-28 15:33:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
oh lord hahahahaaha
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2008-03-28 15:32:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
McCallum spazzing was lame. Your homoerotic fascination with him is marginally lamer.
Submitted by SkullBiter (user info) at 2008-03-28 15:17:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-03-28 04:24:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I feel bad that I did, but I found this very funny.
Submitted by Cyrus (user info) at 2008-03-28 14:11:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-03-28 13:21:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You know how I know you're gay? You write scorching gay erotica.
----------------------------------------
heh
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-03-28 13:41:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
touche
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-03-28 13:36:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-03-28 13:21:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You know how I know you're gay? You write scorching gay erotica.
==================
at least they're consenting adults
you just hate men right now
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-03-28 13:21:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You know how I know you're gay? You write scorching gay erotica.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-03-28 13:20:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-03-28 12:49:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Not bad. If you reduced the size of the face in that photoshop just a bit it would have looked really good.
Balding? Not in this life. Gotta work on the belly though.
====================
haha yeah that was the kitchen sink method just throw it all in there.
i thought of having you bend him over an actual kitchen sink while he was literally drooling over your book sticking out of the garbage disposal but that seemed excessive and not quite believable.
thanks for reading.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-03-28 12:49:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Not bad. If you reduced the size of the face in that photoshop just a bit it would have looked really good.
Balding? Not in this life. Gotta work on the belly though.
Submitted by Spuzzum (user info) at 2008-03-28 12:33:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-03-28 12:18:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2008-03-28 12:16:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
sicosemen likes chicks who are cute but also have a penis, pass it on.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-03-28 11:34:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
After several hours, Jack said: "Boy, you were sound asleep. You missed the best part."
Bubba grinned sheepishly. "I was fakin'."
Jack threw his balding head back, scratched his middle aged pot belly, and roared with laughter. "You tricked me! Again!"
Bubba nodded seductively.
===
HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA...EW
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-03-28 11:03:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
like cheese on a Ritz
like a cobra
like a mother bird feeding her young
Sheer genius. I even learned a new word: snowball. I'd have given you a +2 but I didn't care for the POV change at the very end.
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-03-28 10:22:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Great - Now we're gonna have to sit through YET ANOTHER retard fight on the internets.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-03-28 10:22:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Buahauahahahahahahah Good God.....
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-03-28 10:20:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I started laughing at the second line and stopped reading after that.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-03-28 09:38:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2008-03-28 09:36:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2008-03-28 09:34:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2008-03-28 09:31:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-03-28 09:18:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-03-28 08:40:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
In all honesty, I laughed a couple times.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-03-28 08:12:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I bet you woke out of deep slumber thinking about how you were going to convert your dream to uber front pages, didn't you?
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2008-03-28 07:53:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
lmao
Submitted by FATMANTPK (user info) at 2008-03-28 07:53:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
scourge - I am a fan of Ruger handguns. The P90 or 97 is a great pistol chambered in .45 caliber. They have an 8 shot magazine, and the one I had was the most reliable semi-auto I have ever fired and very confortable in my hands (Glocks feel too blocky/squared). I currently have a Ruger SP101 revolver with the 2" barrell, chambered in .357 Magnum and I use it for concealed carry, which is not an issue for you. Overall, revolvers are the most reliable.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-03-28 07:18:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I agree with that you think about Jack and Bubba a bit to much to be called healthy.
If I may, scourge: Buy a target pistol for target shooting. Try a few, pick one you like. For home defense (meaning inside the home), buy a 20GA pump-action shotgun with the shortest legal barrel and a magazine just shorter than the barrel for maximum capacity. 20GA is substantial enough to stop an intruder but won't penetrate two layers of drywall so the kids in the next room don't get hurt. Alternate your rounds #00, #4, #6 (repeat) shot for narrow, medium, and wider dispersal incase your first shot misses. Outfit it with a pistol rear grip so you can turn in a hallway without raising or lowering the barrel. Take it to a range and practice shooting at targets set at distances typical for inside your home. Make sure you keep it loaded and unchambered with the safety on and with some other form of barrier between it and anyone who might accidentally happen upon it. Pistols have their place in home defense, but there is little an intruder wants to hear less than the "kshik-SHIK" of a shotgun being chambered.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-03-28 04:45:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
*EJACULATES*
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2008-03-28 04:24:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Funny shit
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-03-28 04:24:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I feel bad that I did, but I found this very funny.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-03-28 03:04:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-03-28 03:02:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I giggled.
I do that.
---
homo.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-03-28 03:02:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I giggled.
I do that.
Submitted by PepsiCoke (user info) at 2008-03-28 02:59:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I cumquered
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2008-03-28 02:10:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Excellent story, well written, plot and flow were perfect. Would read again.
A++
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-03-28 02:08:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
um.
eww.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-03-28 01:58:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
well, illinois has no concealed carry, so that's out, but...
mainly a home protection thing, but i'll also be using it as my target shooting handgun.
so, close fire. something simple but dependable that won't fail me if i need it. big enough to take someone down in one pop without necessarily meaning i have to repaint an entire room after hitting them.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-03-28 01:33:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
well it really depends on what you use it for big guy
is it concealed, close fire, easy to file, etc
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2008-03-28 01:32:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I saw
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-03-28 01:29:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
haha...that's far too little for my fat hands, you goddamn ex-con
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-03-28 01:26:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
how insulting scourge that you would assume i have some knowledge of guns like a common criminal or republican
but for you, possibly a ladysmith
Submitted by PepsiCoke (user info) at 2008-03-28 01:24:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I came
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-03-28 01:12:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
here's a +2 as incentive. i know you care about ratings an awful lot.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-03-28 01:11:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
you've got a bit of an obsession with these gentlemen, william.
i'm in the market for a handgun.
not a huge fan of revolvers. beyond that, i'm pretty open.
what do you know about guns? one gentleman suggested the glock g19 as a dependable, affordable piece. majority of reviews i've seen on it are good, but i don't want to jump into something. give a brother some pointers if you have any.