Monkees (603 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 0.25 on 15 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by I Am The Wrinklebeast (View user info) at 2008-03-28 23:00:10 EDT
Stu-Pot was a not-so-bright but all-around great guy who led a somewhat unremarkable and uneventful life. A keyboard enthusiast, he worked as the star employee of Uncle Norm's Organ Emporium. Hoodlum Murdoc Niccals decided to ramraid Uncle Norm's Organ Emporium to procure synthesizer equipment in order to establish a "chart topping" musical group. However, Murdoc ended up driving his Vauxhall Astra through the building and directly into Stu-Pot, permanently damaging ("fracturing") Stu-Pot's left eye and putting him into a catatonic state. Murdoc was sentenced to "30,000 hours of community service, plus 10 hours every week of caring for the vegetabilised Stu-Pot". Not long after, Murdoc again injured Stu-Pot in a car accident in Nottingham's Tesco car park when attempting a 360°, which permanently damaged Stu-Pot's right eye, but revived him from his coma. Murdoc then recruited the newly recovered Stu-Pot as the keyboardist and vocalist for his group, re-dubbing him '2D' for the fact that Stu-Pot now had two similar dents above his eyes.
Murdoc then found a drummer for the group in a SoHo rap record store: black expatriate Russel Hobbs. A middle-class native of New York, Russel was deeply troubled as a youth. He was expelled from an expensive private school for suffering from demonic possession. The trauma of said possession resulted in a four-year coma from which Russel was roused only by an elaborately executed exorcism. After his recovery, Russel began attending Brooklyn High School, where he quickly cultivated friendships with a group of rappers, DJs, and street musicians. (He has been quoted as saying that "hip-hop saved [his] soul.")
This was but a short-lived respite, however, as all of Russel's newfound friends were suddenly gunned down one night in a drive-by shooting. Russel, the sole survivor, became the unwilling receptacle for the spirits of all of his slain compatriots, most notable of whom was the rhyme-dropping blue phantom Del. Thanks to the spirits' latent possession of his body, Russel gained incredible musical prowess in percussion, rap, and hip-hop as well as a disturbing side-effect: his eyes glowed an eerie white. With this new and violent turn of events, Russel's family shipped him off to England in hopes of helping him recover from his traumas quietly—not realizing they'd put him directly into the path of Murdoc's aspirations to superstardom, and the excesses that came along with it.
At that point, all the fledgling group needed was a guitarist. The three's first choice was 2D's then-girlfriend Paula Cracker. After Russel discovered that Paula had had sex with Murdoc in one of the studio's toilets, she dropped out of the band. (Another result was that Russel broke Murdoc's nose in five places.) So, like so many British bands before them, the trio placed an advertisement in NME. The very day the ad ran, a "DedEx" (Play on words from FedEx) freight container from Japan was delivered to their doorstep. Out jumped a mysterious amnesiac 10-year-old wielding a Gibson Les Paul. The tiny girl made an incomprehensible introduction in Japanese and tore into a "riff to end all riffs" which ended with an impressive karate kick to the air. She then spoke a single word in English to the stunned boys, "Noodle", which was to become her moniker.
In the later part of 1998, the Gorillaz played their first show at the Camden Brownhouse. Although it ended prematurely due to a riot during the song "Punk", EMI A&R man Whiffy Smiffy, discharging several rounds from his shotgun to disperse the crowd, was able to make his way to the stage and quickly sign them to the label. Ten months later the Gorillaz had recorded their self-titled debut LP.
In the winter of 1999 Murdoc acquired the property of Kong Studios, a sprawling haunted studio with a rather shady history, situated atop a hill in the midst of a run-down cemetery and landfill in Districtshire, Essex. The Gorillaz lived and recorded in Kong Studios up until their 2002 11-month tour of North America. At the end of July of that year, the Gorillaz took a six month break in L.A.. There they attempted to get a movie project off the ground. Meanwhile, that Halloween, Kong Studios had been shut down tight in its owner's absence by local law enforcement after an unknown man was seen running, naked and in hysterics, in the marshes near the studio. The police proceeded to keep the area secured while they investigated the strange paranormal events surrounding Kong. The Gorillaz spent the interim period working on their movie, while living in a large rented home in the Hollywood Hills.
Alas, the film was not meant to be, due in part to extensive over-partying, in-fighting, and disagreements with producers, directors, and a notable incident of Murdoc getting himself banned from the Playboy Mansion for stealing ashtrays. Understandably, at this point the Gorillaz went on a year and half hiatus, each of the members going their separate ways to find themselves. Murdoc headed to Mexico to booze it up in Tijuana brothels, getting himself arrested for passing bad cheques in the process. He enjoyed little company in his Mexican jail cell aside from his raven, Cortez, and two Mexican mobsters who would later help break him out. 2D went back home to work for his father at his carnival, re-establish his grip on reality, and come to terms with his newfound pop icon status with the ladies.
Russel disappeared into the States to literally and figuratively exorcise his personal demons, regrettably including the ghost of Del, leaving Russel a mentally and spiritually exhausted wandering shadow of the man he once was. After shambling around Los Angeles for some time, Russel was taken in by Ike Turner and helped to recover, and while living in Turner's basement Russel recorded his own solo album which was shelved due to strange supernatural activity inherent in the music itself, which Russel described as something of a "cosmic disruption".
Noodle travelled to Japan, in a fruitful attempt to uncover the secrets of her own past which included not only the revelation that she was a test subject in a secret government super soldier project, but that she also speaks fluent English. Armed with her newfound knowledge and iron resolve, Noodle was the first to return to Kong Studios. There she went to task battling the zombie and monster-infested darkness of the building, set up the Search for a Star contest, and began the process of pulling the band back together to record their new album, Demon Days.
After the mystery surrounding El Mañana, the band seemed to have disbanded, with Noodle's room on gorillaz.com becoming empty and derelict and her voice appearing in the room of Brian's, desperately pleading for Murdoc to come and recuse her from some hidden danger. Murdoc was later to clarify this with a special Facebook chat on his very own Facebook Profile. When asked about the band's current status, he replied thus:
"Well... It's funny. After the first album Russel had this big mad breakdown. He had the spirit of Del exorcised out of him by the Grim Reaper. Which kind of sent him mental. He tried to record a solo album but then he was saying that all these demons were flying out the speakers trying to eat him. Everyone thought he'd just gone loopy. "Living in a basement with Ike Turner". Turns out tho he was right. The Demons were real! You couldn't really make it up. So next thing we know is after Noodle disappeared after The El Manana video incident, we hear this voice coming out of the basin basement room of Kong. Out of a radio. Turns out that when these demons couldn't get hold of Russ, they grabbed Noodle instead. Dragged her downstairs, to Hades! So of course it fell to muggings here, (that's me), to go on some epic Odysseus type journey into The Underworld to try and rescue her. It's all tied up with contract I signed with Beelzebub that shoe-horned Gorillaz up the charts in the first place. He was cocked off about some late payment of my eternal soul, or something stupid."
—Murdoc Niccals on Facebook [33]
Murdoc went on to say that he is selling Kong Studios as it is apparently built on a pile of excrement, added that he is still in the middle of rescuing Noodle from hell, again confirmed that he has no sexual attraction to 2D, but refused to elaborate on any future albums or the upcoming Gorillaz movie, other than to joke about the subject so as to avoid it.
User Reviews
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2008-04-04 23:53:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Maddog (user info) at 2008-03-31 13:24:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
...AND PEOPLE THINK WE MONKEY AROUND....
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2008-03-30 04:07:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
HEY HEY WE'RE THE
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-03-30 01:25:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-03-29 23:57:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I've four minutes left, where is our aging pedo friend to help pass the time?
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You unoriginal piece of shit. Fall in with the crowd about the pedo thing. Have you EVER had a thought of your own? Didn't think so, you stupid ass. Just stay home and shut up.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-03-30 00:01:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Bubba will comment after I leave, which is to say, now.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-03-29 23:58:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
you're not your. I fail.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-03-29 23:57:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I've four minutes left, where is our aging pedo friend to help pass the time?
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2008-03-29 23:53:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
O Snap!
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-03-29 23:46:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Actually my rating is negitive because i post shit. You, however, are pissed because you're nearing 60, ugly, unemployed and nobody thinks your funny.
Might I suggest dying?
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-03-29 23:34:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-03-29 23:19:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Nice copy and paste.
Also Wikipedia didn't write this so linking to them doesn't give credit to the author makng this plagerism. I would guess you don't have permission to post this either which I'm sure is osme form of copyright infringment. Mostly I'm just pissed that i read a retarded story about a band I don't care much about. That and bitching is fun, doubly so when you're bitching at retards. Like bubba. or you.
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Doodles is pissed because his rating for 35 posts is still negative. Who's the retard here? Hmmm?
Fucking idiot.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-03-29 23:19:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Nice copy and paste.
Also Wikipedia didn't write this so linking to them doesn't give credit to the author makng this plagerism. I would guess you don't have permission to post this either which I'm sure is osme form of copyright infringment. Mostly I'm just pissed that i read a retarded story about a band I don't care much about. That and bitching is fun, doubly so when you're bitching at retards. Like bubba. or you.
Submitted by DreamWeaver (user info) at 2008-03-29 21:23:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Gorillaz are pretty cool
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-03-29 21:19:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-03-29 21:16:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
no reviews for 22 hours?
Submitted by wrinklebeast (user info) at 2008-03-28 23:00:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gorillaz (so yall can quit bitching about plagiarizing)