And You Thought I Couldn't Sink Any Lower. Plus Super Not-So-Fucking Rare EbolaMay Camwhore! (1826 hits)
Category: Quotes & Stories -> PoetryRating: 1.36 on 83 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Director (View user info) at 2008-03-29 20:32:17 EDT
My new boss mentioned the other night as we were driving somewhere that I'll be good at my new job because I'm personable and "good looking."
Does that mean he's queer?
I'm in sales in "communications" now.
That means I sell newspaper subscriptions from a kiosk at Sam's club.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Yeah. I'm that fucking pathetic.
L
It's funny though. There are days when I make $500.00 in one day, and days when I make less than $15.00. Sssss all random. Anyone who's worked with the public in a sales capacity before knows that most people are nice, if uninterested, some people are gruff, some people are downright mean, and some people are fucking evil.
And some people...some people are batshit crazy. I like the crazies. And I like the black people. For some reason, black people have personality. Personality goes a long way with me.
Some old black dude told me the other day he wouldn't buy that paper because they said "Black people aren't worth shit." I was stunned and asked him when they said that. I'm a dumbass though and it took a while for me to realize he was putting me on. He laughed at me with a look on his face that said, "What a gullible muthafuckin' cracker." He then bought a subscription and told me a bunch of funny jokes, then his wife walked up, he slapped her on the ass and said, "Let's go baby. I gotsta beat up the goldfish."
I have no idea what that meant but it made me giggle.
All this has taught me one thing though; I wish to fuck I'd studied something other than Marketing when I was in college. Something, you know, useful, like engineering, or something in medicine. Fuck man, I wish I'd gone to fucking Ninja school instead of getting a goddamn marketing degree. Most useless piece of shit degree ever fucking created. With the possible exception of "Communications." What a bullshit degree that is.
HA HA at Shlongy. He has a Communications degree. HA HA. You had to really cook up some brain cells on that one, didn'tchya Shlongster?
Meh. I shouldn't laugh. That fucker has more money than me, a house, and a Mrs. Shlongy. Of course, he is a jew, and we all know what hoarding, stingy bastards those fucks are. (Please note facetious, jovial, "ha ha I'm just mocking the stereotypes of the fine Jewish peoples of the world" tone of the previous sentence. Meaning, I DON'T REALLY MEAN THAT, YOU HOARDING, STINGY JEW!).
Anyway, at least Ninja's can steal food and shit when they're outta work and starving to death. And even if they get caught, they can just chop off the head of their pursuers.
Damn I wish I was a Ninja.
The clutch on my car went completely out. I've been tooting around grinding up the gears until I have the money to get it fixed. The other day I was getting on the highway and I couldn't get the fucking thing into second gear. I was nearly killed to death by an oncoming diesel trucker. I managed to slowly putter into the emergency lane about 2 seconds before he rammed me from behind like my gay lover, only the truck was going about 70 miles an hour and Spahgnum, my homosexual cum sucking Australian love machine can only achieve about 50 mph..
I have a Honda Civic.
I would have been, like, really, really, super dead.
If I were the kind of guy who pees his pants, I would have peed my pants. As it was I sat there and trembled for about 5 minutes before I had the nerve to try to get back on the road and get that fucking car home.
Anyway, just now my brakes went out, too. I nearly rear ended a car on my way here. Sigh. Now I can't drive at all, and thus ends my glorious sales career.
I'll be taking the bus I guess to my next job, grill cook at McDonalds.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
You gotta love the absurdity of life.
===============================================================
Holy fucking God. I turned 40 the other day. I didn't do a goddamn thing about it except cry myself to sleep.
So it was just a day like any other.
Coz. You know.
I do that every night.
Get it? HA HA HA! I cry myself to sleep EVERY NIGHT!! Get it?!?!?!?!
I just worked that day. The only person who actually cared enough to call was Experima. She was the only person who remembered or cared that it was my birthday. Odd that a person I met on Ubersite has turned into one of the most supportive, caring people in my life. I wasn't that upset about nobody else calling, though I did kind of wonder if my Mother was dead or something, because she usually remembers.
Ah well. It's a rough life ya know. People forgetting your birthday is probably one of the least important things in the world to worry about. And at least a smokin' hot broad cared enough to call. How many of YOU twits can say someone like Experima called on YOUR birthday? Huh? Huh? Huh????
But man o' live. I can't wait till I'm 60. Even Experima will "forget" to call.
40 years old. Christ On A Crutch. I just don't know what else to say about that. I'd have a midlife crisis but I've been having one of those for the last 10 years anyway.
Here's that camwhore I promised. This is in my office where I have wasted entirely too much of my fucking life pounding shit out for Ubersite. See that scar right between my eyes? That's from a fistfight I got into when I was 16.
OVER A GIRL. Some big Texas Mexican was taking off with my girlfriend and I was up in his face all, "OH NO YOU DINNIT!" The fucker hauled off and clocked me. He was wearing a ring that had no stone where there should have been one and it gouged out a massive chunk of my head flesh. Blood was everywhere. If I'd been wearing a prom dress, and had a vagina, and had telekinetic abilities, I would've looked like Carrie and I would have induced Armegeddon all over the fuckin' place.
Yes. I'm old. Nuuur. Yes. I have an overbite. Yes, my teeth look yellow in this picture. Yes, I have a large schnooze. Yes, I look like a doofus. Yes, I am a doofus. Etc., etc., etc....
If anyone who doesn't live in Michigan can tell me where that can of soup is from, why, I'll be impressed, and who doesn't want to impress me?
Oh yeah. This was bloggish. And emo. And repetitive.
But hey.
At least I didn't mention my wives.
Whooops.
User Reviews
Submitted by maf54 (user info) at 2008-05-14 03:49:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No srsly... You're a bodybuilding jailmates sex toy... but the alcohol and lack of wife/life numbs the pain.
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2008-04-02 07:13:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Handsome.... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAh in your fucking dreams... you look like Montgomery Simpson you piece of shit.
'I would have been, like, really, really, super dead'... HAHAHAHAHAHa In my dreams.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-03-31 18:40:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Meijers is correct, but you're wrong about Meijers & Krogers. We also have Busch's, Hiller's Market, & Whole Foods.
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2008-03-31 18:31:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Meijer?
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-03-31 16:37:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-03-31 15:10:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Dear Apollo:
Who's that man with the soup on his head?
I said, Who's that man with the soup on his head?
I said soupy george you got soup on your head
soupy george you got soup on your head
soupy george you got soup on your head
You stupid, soup-head soupy George
Soup on your head
Soup on your head
Soup on your head
Stupid soup-head soupy George
Soup on your head
Soup on your head
Soup on your head
Stupid soup-head soupy George
Who's that man with the soup on his head?
I said, Who's that man with the soup on his head?
I said soupy george you got soup on your head
soupy george you got soup on your head
soupy george you got soup on your head
You stupid, soup-head soupy George
Soup on your head
Soup on your head
Soup on your head
Stupid soup-head soupy George
Soup on your head
Soup on your head
Soup on your head
Stupid soup-head soupy George
Oxtail, chicken, mushroom, minestrone
Ham and pea and panda nose and pony
Badger, bacon, bear and mascarpone
Tonsil, tapeworm, terrapin called Tony
Bits of beaver that are very bony
Fingernails, verrucas and baloney
Snot and teeth and eyes and macaroni
Centipede and squid and pepperoni
Soup on your head
Soup on your head
Soup on your head
Stupid soup-head soupy George
Soup on your head
Soup on your head
Soup on your head
Stupid soup-head soupy George
You stupid soup-head soupy George
Stupid stupid soup-head soupy George!!
P.S. Fuck you, Cockney cocksmith.
Submitted by rorrim (user info) at 2008-03-31 14:40:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-03-31 14:18:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ebola may: the last man on earth with a CRT beige monitor.
Submitted by SkullBiter (user info) at 2008-03-31 14:30:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I wish I'd gone to fucking Ninja school instead of getting a goddamn marketing degree.
--
I fucking knew it, my guidance lady was like "Go get a marketing degree", and I was all like, fuck you bitch im going to ninja school.
Phew, dodged ANOTHER bullet.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-03-31 14:18:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ebola may: the last man on earth with a CRT beige monitor.
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-03-31 10:25:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I'd like to shoot that can off the top of your head - with a 12 gauge shotgun - from 20 ft away.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-03-31 10:16:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Never give up and never surrender!
Mark it up that I owe you a beer for your birthday, it will be cheap and proberbly warm seeing as I have no cash at all or a fridge, but it comes from a good place.
What do you mean Tescos isn't a good place......?
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-03-31 09:40:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-03-30 09:40:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Happy cowlick I mean birthday
haha
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2008-03-31 09:39:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
¡Feliz cumpleaños!
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-03-31 09:09:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
You are pathetic. Fixing a clutch isn't that expensive and if you were a bit more handy you'd know how to do it yourself. I'd suggest making friends with someone that knows mechanical things but I fear that is beyond your capability as is applying for a real job instead of one from the job fair at the local Super 8.
Submitted by jigglypuff (user info) at 2008-03-31 05:27:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Like the post, but loving Bubba's recipe for chilli sauce!
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-03-31 05:26:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I cannot believe you're 40. The passage of time is rubbish.
Kudos on getting a birthday call from Experima though, she's hot.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-03-31 04:39:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
My new boss mentioned the other night as we were driving somewhere that I'll be good at my new job because I'm personable and "good looking."
===========================
He lied.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-03-31 01:14:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If a good standup comic were to do 15 minutes on your life they might get a ton of laughs, but to be honest about it they'd have to finish with 90 seconds on sheer determination and the ability to keep looking up. That 90 seconds would get a standing O.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2008-03-30 20:33:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.rcktman.com/hanginthere.jpg
Submitted by cat_head (user info) at 2008-03-30 20:01:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You do indeed look much younger than 40.
But also a bit like Mr Burns. Excellent...!
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-03-30 19:47:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You don't look 40.
You haven't given up and you keep plugging away. Good for you.
Hang in there.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-03-30 15:20:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
FINE.
I read the whole thing, and it wasn't horrible.
M is awesome... it is good you appreciate that.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-03-30 15:14:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
read a little more rob. he says nice things about me. :)
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-03-30 15:10:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Damn I wish I was a Ninja.
---
ME TOO!
OK, I read further.
BUT THAT IS IT. I STILL LIKE THE POST I DON'T WANNA RUIN IT.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-03-30 15:02:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm making it today. I'm not putting the avocados or tortilla chips in though, even though they are tasty...the cheese has enough calories for me! :)
I also don't ladle soup over the add-ins. I put them in after I fill the bowl. Tortilla chips stay crunchy longer if they're floating on top.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-03-30 14:58:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
experima, that sounds so tasy, I am gonna make some tomorrow.
And Bubba, that sauce sounds awesome. Yum.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-03-30 14:18:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Let's go baby. I gotsta beat up the goldfish."
I have no idea what that meant but it made me giggle.
---
Thats as far as I got, I didn't want the moment to be ruined.
You are still as goofy looking as ever.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2008-03-30 14:02:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Terrifying.
Submitted by loan_officer (user info) at 2008-03-30 13:01:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Fartman (user info) at 2008-03-30 12:14:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You win this round, tomato can head. But I'll be back.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-03-30 10:24:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
bugs bunny called, can he have his teeth back please
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-03-30 09:49:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-03-30 09:40:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Happy cowlick I mean birthday
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-03-30 08:43:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
http://www.df.lth.se/~ola/pictures/jdl_tng_.jpg
more like him
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-03-30 02:20:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
fava beans and a nice chianti?
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-03-30 02:04:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Once again, everything works out for you Exp, and I'm left sitting here with a bloody ball sack in my hand and not a single notion regarding what to do with it.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-03-30 01:53:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i would have wished you a happy birthday if i had known.
i'm not all about the belated well wishing thing, so maybe drop me a reminder next year, eh?
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-03-30 01:46:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have the same exact problem haiku. pounding on the ceiling, shouting "shut up" at the top of my lungs, and blaring high volume techno music from 1997 didn't do it so i had the apartment manager send a letter of complaint to them. they've been quieter the past few days.
but i still want to rip their balls off too.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-03-30 01:37:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If I hear one more pound in my ceiling from my douchebag neighbor, I swear to God, I'll rip his fucking balls off.
I mean, pointing my roommate's speakers at the ceiling on full blast hasn't worked. Dribbling basketballs off the ceiling and throwing other miscellaneous objects hasn't cut it.
I guess I could just talk to him about it, but...ripping off his balls just seems to be the easier route at this point.
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-03-29 23:27:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Happy birthday. Turn the heat up and you won't have to wear so many layers of clothes. But I guess old people are more sensitive to the cold.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-03-29 23:22:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Bullshit. She hasn't had that 'time of the month' for 30 years.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-03-29 23:20:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
no she said it was free during her time of the month
pay attention
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-03-29 23:19:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey! She promised me a free month. Welching bicth.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-03-29 23:17:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
if you'd settle your fuckin tab you'd know
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-03-29 23:15:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Like an eletrocuted epileptic in an earthquake? That good?
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-03-29 23:11:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
my mother move real good if you know what i'm sayin
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-03-29 23:07:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Willie, did your mother move, or did her red light burn out?
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-03-29 23:05:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-03-29 22:58:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
it was a dark and stormy night. i poured myself another jack and adjusted the showerhead toward my arsehole.
i downed the last and finished cleaning my johnson.
as i stepped out of the shower i felt a familiar scrotal tingling so i logged on and its just as i suspected.
dispatch: whats your 20?
willie: dryin my jacksons.
dispatch: blow 'em fast we got a negative two in progress.
willie: a circle jerk? where?
dispatch: ubersite, where the fuck you think?
willie: is it them again?
dispatch: who else?
willie: the twin gorgons! orphelia and experima!
dispatch: suspects old and dangerous. proceed with caution.
willie: roger that.
as soon as i rolled up i could smell it. like a fish market in july.
break it up i said, holding my nose, but it was no use.
i reached for my radio, eyes burning.
ragman's coat! doubled! i need back up right now! right now motherfucker!
but it was too late.
the stench overwhelmed me, and i was down for the count.
5
4
3
-2
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-03-29 22:57:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-03-29 22:44:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
is that for doner kebabs? is your wife english or turkish? what did she make it for?
i'm soooooooooooooooo happy. THANK YOU BUBBA!!!!!!!!
***************************
My wife isn't Turkish or English. She's Chicagoish. :)
I've never had a Doner Kebab, but we have used that sauce for fajitas, burritos, and as a dip for potato chips. As I said, you can modify the ingredients. I think the trick to a good chile recipe is the use of three or more different kinds of chile peppers. Also, experiment with spices. Cumin goes well in mexican food, also.
Let me know if you try it.
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2008-03-29 22:50:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You're like an all growed-up beaver.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-03-29 22:44:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
is that for doner kebabs? is your wife english or turkish? what did she make it for?
i'm soooooooooooooooo happy. THANK YOU BUBBA!!!!!!!!
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-03-29 22:28:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I asked my wife if she remembered the chile sauce recipe she used to make, and this is what she came up with. You might want to change amounts and add or subtract ingredients according to taste:
8 tomatoes, diced
2 medium onions. chopped
2 whole jalapeno peppers, chopped (remove seeds if desired)
3 medium size Serrano peppers, chopped (remove seeds if desired)
3/4 cup vinegar
1/3 cup sugar
1/3 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon red chili flakes
1 teaspoon Cilantro (optional)
Place everything into a skillet or soup pot and bring it to a boil while stirring. Boil for around 15-20 minutes.
Allow the mixture to cool, then mutilate it in a blender. Return to the heat and slowly simmer for another 30 minutes or until it reaches the desired consistency.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-03-29 22:23:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
goodnight, orphelia. <3
here is the best recipe for tortilla soup I've ever had in my entire life.
TORTILLA SOUP
One of the L.A. Times'
10 Best Recipes for 1999
1 TBS oil
2 onions, sliced
6 cloves garlic, chopped
1 ear corn, husk and silk removed
1 (6 oz.) can tomato paste
1 chipotle chile packed in adobo sauce (finely chopped),
Or more to taste (no more than two!)
(a chipotle pepper is a smoked jalapeno,
usually found in adobo sauce)
4 (14-1/2 oz) cans vegetable broth
1 avocado
¼ lb. Jack cheese, grated
½ cup chopped cilantro
1 cup tortilla strips
Heat the oil in a large saucepan over medium-high heat, add the onions and cook, stirring,
2 minutes. Add the garlic, lower the heat to medium-low and continue cooking,
covered, 10 minutes.
While the onions and garlic cook, roast the corn in a dry skillet
over high heat until slightly charred, turning so it does not burn, about 5 minutes.
Cut the kernels from the cob and set aside.
Add the tomato paste and chipotle to the onions
and cook over medium-high heat, stirring, 3 to 4 minutes. Add the vegetable broth and bring to a boil. Simmer 5 minutes.
While the soup simmers, chop the avocado. Divide the cheese, avocado, cilantro, corn and
tortilla strips among 4 bowls and ladle the soup over the top.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-03-29 22:13:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It will only ever contain you. Though maybe LM will creep in there one day!
I am going to bed, he will have to sleep in the greenhouse. Dirty stop out! :)
Carry on heating!
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-03-29 22:11:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
thanks for my category :)
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-03-29 22:06:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
well speaking of recipes, I should post a recipe I have for tortilla soup. it is most excellent and i plan to make it tonight or tomorrow.
and director loves tortilla soup anyway so I will post it for him to make too.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-03-29 22:04:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You now have your own special section experima. But I have no recipe for chilli sauce. i sent another Uberer a recipe email a while ago... and I heard nothing since. I think recipe swapping is sudden death to e friendship :(
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-03-29 22:04:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
call me below
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2008-03-29 22:02:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
glad you're still alive
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2008-03-29 21:57:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
happy birthday, man.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-03-29 21:57:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I know, I know. My hit-to-post ratio is poor, as well. And I haven't made your "hot" lists either. :(
Garlic mayo is good. But not as good as chilli sauce. I've been looking for a recipe for that sauce for ten years and NO ONE has one.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-03-29 21:57:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i think Ann Summers make a 'gyro' and I wouldn't try eating one. Wait...
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-03-29 21:54:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I prefer garlic mayo on my rat and dogwich. You should camwhore again, experima, I felt for you with the tiny amount if attention you suffered in the last few. Hehe
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-03-29 21:51:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
it's actually supposed to be lamb meat, and it is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo yummy. just like a gyro but without the creamy sauce. it's spicy red chilli (uk spelling) sauce instead. unless you're in switzerland, where they put creamy sauce and have it on thick-ish bread instead of a pitta (also uk spelling.)
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-03-29 21:50:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Happy 40th.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-03-29 21:49:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
A gyro sammich made with rat meat? Cool!
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2008-03-29 21:48:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Meijer, or something close to that spelling. That is my guess.
Not actually from Michigan, but I know the area fairly well. Enough to know the only two stores are Kroger and Meijer.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-03-29 21:46:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't. I love rat meat as long as it's pressed together and carved from a dripping, revolving spit thing and has loads of chilli sauce on it mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
hmm. it seems to be camwhore season. maybe i should camwhore again. mine don't get nearly enough attention.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-03-29 21:43:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Doner kebabs do not travel well with a drunken man. I am not in a kebaby mood anyway. i have to be at least 'tipsy' before I consume rat and dog meat tastily combined in a pitta sandwich.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-03-29 21:42:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
heat it up. . .
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2008-03-29 21:04:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 power nose.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-03-29 21:03:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
YOU NAILED IT!
Submitted by Hookhand (user info) at 2008-03-29 20:59:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I knew where the can of soup was from before the pixels even cleared up.
Blue can...white circle.
FUCK
I used to work there....
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-03-29 20:55:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I was nearly killed to death by an oncoming diesel trucker.
heh
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2008-03-29 20:49:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Well, you made me feel better about being a 21 yo law student whose getting regular sex from irregular people and has more disposable income now than ever before even though i'm unemployed (thanks, mummy!).
And that... made me smile.
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2008-03-29 20:47:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That pic makes me wanna play kick the can and misjudge the height of the can
haha
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-03-29 20:46:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2008-03-30 00:40:58 GMT (#)
Ranking: 2
Orphelia - he is hot!!!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Rupert or the waiter?
They are one in the same.
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2008-03-29 20:40:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Orphelia - he is hot!!!
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2008-03-29 20:40:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Damn I wish I was a Ninja.
----------------------------
Me too! :)
Submitted by diavola (user info) at 2008-03-29 20:38:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
or your 50th for that matter
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-03-29 20:37:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I will not forget your 60th birthday
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-03-29 20:34:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Could you look anymore like this guy?
http://socialitelife.buzznet.com/images/2006/09/RupertEverett.jpg
