Cooking with semen (760 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.33 on 28 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Raptor Jesus (View user info) at 2008-03-31 10:26:39 EDT
Has anybody ever tried cooking with their own semen?
About a month ago I got adventurous and decided to fap into the frying pan, using my semen in place of little extra butter I usually put in the pan when I'm grilling grill'd cheese.
I didn't notice much difference in flavour when I tried it, although it definitely didn't taste any worse.
Last night, however, while in the process leading up to grilling two sandwiches for lunch for myself and my sick mother, I noticed my neighbour's 13 year old daughter changing in the yard next door (our window sort of faces out into the neighbour's yard, the suburban layout of our community is somewhat strange), presumably after getting out of the pool. I got the urge to fap and decided to encorporate it into my cooking again in secret.
My mother did seem to notice a difference in flavour for the better - I nonchalantly told her I used a different butter, which in it's essence wasn't entirely a lie, I just didn't specify it was my nut butter. I'm not about to outright lie to my mother.
I consider myself a respectable man of principles, you know.
User Reviews
Submitted by netimportant (user info) at 2008-04-02 14:33:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Hookhand (user info) at 2008-04-02 00:38:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
For how funny it could have been and wasn't
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-04-01 09:23:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This amused me.
Submitted by habib23 (user info) at 2008-04-01 06:12:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
perving on a 13 year old girl...
nasty
Submitted by habib23 (user info) at 2008-04-01 06:09:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
perving on a 13 year old girl...
nasty
Submitted by SweetSoph69 (user info) at 2008-04-01 03:47:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Urgh.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-03-31 23:54:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I think a series on this topic is in order. Might I suggest you try preheating your contribution by microwaving your junk 1-2 minutes on 'high' before tossing into the mix? To ensure even warming, coat a framing hammer liberally with olive oil and rip-claw yourself in the Johnsonal Zone a few times beforehand.
Submitted by ras0ne (user info) at 2008-03-31 22:27:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
weak
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-03-31 13:29:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
i think this has been posted before by someone else
Submitted by Fartman (user info) at 2008-03-31 12:49:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Zzzzzzzzzzzzz
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-03-31 12:26:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
funny
you'll have to try harder to shock uber though
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-03-31 11:55:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
your shock tactics will not work on the cob77 crowd
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2008-03-31 11:26:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i couldn't -2 it cause i did chuckle a bit.
Submitted by aldenso (user info) at 2008-03-31 11:18:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by oapa (user info) at 2008-03-31 11:07:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
i thought it was funny
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-03-31 11:04:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-03-31 11:01:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Can I get this recipe?
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2008-03-31 10:51:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-03-31 10:40:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Don't listen to the naysayers below. This is utter genius and can I come over to neighbor watch with you?
===================================================================
"Cooking with semen" is not the name of a television show, sico.
Don't encourage this tool
Submitted by celtic1888 (user info) at 2008-03-31 10:49:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2008-03-31 10:47:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Boring.
Submitted by Rhymenocerous (user info) at 2008-03-31 10:46:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This is the stupidest alter ever. Stop posting. Better yet, stop breathing.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-03-31 10:44:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-03-31 10:40:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Don't listen to the naysayers below. This is utter genius and can I come over to neighbor watch with you?
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2008-03-31 10:34:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
christ almighty this is awful
blow your load up your nose and choke on it, then you can rid us of this stupididty.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2008-03-31 10:33:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
it would give it a little bit of a salty taste. on grilled cheese, why not? scrambled eggs? sure!
Submitted by dithered (user info) at 2008-03-31 10:32:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I remember hearing a story once about some child molester guy who, after being imprisoned for his crimes, got gangraped by a crowd of maladjusted inmates in the day room.
He needed like 50 stitches in his rectum, or something like that.
I can only hope you experience a similar encounter.
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2008-03-31 10:30:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You once again bore me.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-03-31 10:30:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I've considered basting a chicken with the juice of a freshly-fisted hooker.