Awake (770 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.66 on 46 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by orph (View user info) at 2008-04-01 12:08:36 EDT
It's like trying to watch 'Breakfast at Tiffany's' after you've already seen George Peppard in the A-Team - something is just not right, but you don't know where to begin.
In fact, it's probably not like that at all.
Ares raised his head and laughed.
The noxious clouds of smoke and dust swirled with the remnants of his malice and power, obscuring the sanguine sun as it hung listlessly in the sky. Yet, the joy of his victory was short-lived. This was perhaps the most depressing factor of the entire epic. He had won, triumphed and trumped, yet at the pinnacle the prize was revealed as the empty chimera he had always secretly feared it would be.
Athena laid smoking in ashes at his feet. The centuries of defeat and ridicule he'd spent at her hands were over. Aegis sat cloven in two beside her, the Gorgon's face never to turn another to stone. The legendary shield had not been enough at the final telling.
The arrows of Apollo bounced harmlessly off his breast-plate. The archer and his feral bitch Artemis knew they would be next, and fired waves of Parthian shots as they fled to the seeming safety of Olympus. He laughed again at their cowardice. Zeus himself would be broken with grief at his favourite's fall, knowing he could not protect them all.
Yet he lacked the will to hunt them down.
The ground shook beneath him as he pondered the meaning of futility. The sanctimonious harpy was now gone, but he felt as though he had also lost something of himself. This inner reflection did not come easy, and he slumped against a fallen temple column as the implications of the final battle sunk in. He rubbed his beautiful forehead to relieve the mounting stress, but was jolted into the air by a colossal thunderclap that ripped open the heavens above.
He was slowly pulled upwards, off the ground by an invisible force. He knew it was his father, but had not expected him to act so quickly. He began to spin around; the battle ground beneath him whirled into a colourless blur as he rose higher and higher in the sky.
He hacked and slashed with this sword at the unseen power, but any effort was hopeless. An almighty crash of cymbals rang through his ears, as those watching below covered their eyes as he flashed out of their sight, ripped through the fabric of the world, leaving a sucking void that was just as suddenly filled in as the world struggled to patch its wound.
Well, it could have happened like that, but he was not sure it did.
He shook off the vision that blurred before his eyes, and fell back against something soft and warm that was supporting his head. Was he not Ares the destroyer, conqueror of the ancient realm, vanquisher of all foes and victor of the final battle for the holy mountain?
The plain trousers and white shirt, as well as the dirty shoes did nothing to jog his memory, or support his musings. The dead black spotted pig that lay under him didn't help either. He had a throbbing pain in his back and neck, and felt as though he had dropped out of the sky, landing on his unfortunate porcine saviour.
He looked around him, spying a small thatched cottage on the valley hillside to his left, and the other members of the pig herd huddled under a rickety picket fence squinting and squealing in fear and outrage at the murder of their leader. His sword was gone, his shield and armour missing, replaced by the peasant garb he'd seen on the helots kept by the Greeks. He stumbled to his feet all muscles aching at the effort.
Was he ever an Olympian? He struggled to focus, and forgot the meaning of Olympus before he'd even finished the thought. Why was his head so full of fog? He shook it violently, which only resulted in more pain shooting up from his neck. Who am I?
Calling for wine, water and meat did not have the desired effect, as his usual minions were missing. No longer were fear, terror and strife his companions. In fact, there was not a soul around except for him and the pigs. They seemed to have got over their bereavement and were once again picking through the food trough for previously missed morsels.
The valley seemed peaceful enough; bright blue above, lush green below. He scanned the horizon, but couldn't seem to find an exit from the tranquil mountain bowl. Images flashed through his head, fire and sword, blood and dismemberment, accompanied by screams of anguish and roars of conquest, yet he failed to grasp any for further thought. He let it slide, and scratched his arse that was now peeking over the top of his ill fitting trousers, and hefted onto his shoulder the pickaxe he'd found leaning on the fence, and made his way to the house on the hill.
Inside the cottage the kettle whistled softly over the fire, along with the muddled bubbling of the stew that was also heating gently nestled in the coals. He ate and slept deeply on the straw pallet, content with his lot, and made plans to fix the fences on the morrow as he drifted off.
The sun rose and fell for three years on the idyllic setting, with the farmer tending his herds, planting his crops, and living the life of a solitary, yet happy man.
Then the dreams began.
He woke each morning with blood soaked sheets wrapped around his body. Scars and welts rose on his skin, yet hurt him not. His mind filled with visions of combat, the strain of the chariot reins cut his hands, and his view was framed by his helmet's visor. All fell before him, with many worshipping him in his wake.
He'd feed on the frenzy of war, striding unseen along the lines of battle, watching great armies fall to a favourite, strike down a hated enemy, or inspire many to greatness and others to despair.
By the end of his morning meal, the hallucinations faded, the night sweat cooled on his skin, and he thought of nothing except his pastoral pursuits. All hate and rage were purged daily with the soothing monotony of his simple tasks.
Yet this went on. Each day became worse, and he found it difficult to shake off the thirst for blood and carnage. Mindless slaughter infused him and fought with the will to continue his peaceful farmer's life. Madness became his new companion, as he feared sleep, but also fought wakefulness when the dreams took hold. The malevolent power was seductive, and the realm of his dreams and that of his reality slowly blurred.
One evening as he sat smoking his pipe under a tree in his fields, three travellers crested the hill behind his house. These were the first visitors he could ever remember, but he sat where he was as they made their way towards him. They looked familiar, yet he knew them not - two men and a woman. The sun set over the mountain peaks behind them, strangely lighting them up as though they walked within a haze of fire and ash.
He greeted them politely, causing them to laugh. It was a spiteful, harsh sound to his ears, but when he looked at them, he also saw sorrow in their eyes, almost a wistful longing. He offered them tea, which elicited the same reaction, but this time accompanied by worried looks between the two men.
They ate a meal in silence together, as he explained his plans for the coming planting season. Their expressions fell throughout the dinner, switching from sad amusement to disgust, finally settling on an empty hopelessness. He arranged sleeping quarters and fell into his own rough bed, silently hoping the dreams wouldn't come this night to embarrass him, yet secretly wishing they would as he had become addicted to the surging, intoxicating rush of war.
They came as soon as his eyes closed - more vibrant and brilliant than ever before. He rode his flaming chariot across the plains, cutting down soldiers with sword, axe and spear. Fear, terror and strife were at his side, his three faithful and ever present companions.
Then it became clear.
The fog lifted, replaced by murderous hatred and revenge.
He woke. His farmers garb was no more. Instead he wore the resplendent armour that fitted him so well. Golden red it gleamed, pulsing with the now unlocked energy in his breast. Hephaestus had toiled long and hard to clad him as he required.
His weapons were also his again, and he set about destroying the now hated confinement - the cottage was torched, the pigs slaughtered and the crops pummelled into the ground as he let his rage burn. Phobos, Deimos and Eris, for that is who the three visitors were, stood back and watched with admiration as their master rediscovered himself.
He cursed his father, cursed him to the depths of Hades to rot for eternity. Zeus would pay for this; he would now pick up where he left off. He strode across the desolation and mounted his war-chariot.
Ares, the god of war had awoken.
User Reviews
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-04-03 10:00:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2008-04-02 15:51:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
the imagery was fantastic.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2008-04-02 14:48:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2008-04-02 11:42:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-04-02 09:27:21 EDT (#)
when you have an original thought, let me know - i'll write a story about it.
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-04-02 09:27:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-04-02 08:05:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-04-01 13:04:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2008-04-01 11:35:04 CDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I dunno, man. It had potential, but it wasn't on the caliber of a Greek myth, or even an episode of Hercules circa Kevin Sorbo. Sure you added some Greek names, but it felt like it was based more on one of those shitty God of War games than Greek mythology. In fact, it felt very like one of those formula fighting games --the ones where they take the obligatory Tekken engine and throw in a few names and relevant scenery-- so instead of having Little Chinese Girl VS Tae Kwon Do Boy Heels in front of the pagoda, you have Ares (in the ridiculous Spartan helmet) VS Athena (in high heels) in front of the Parthenon.
Plus WTF is up with the beautiful forehead comment? Has anyone in the history of time ever stopped to admire someone's forehead? Are there forehead women out there?
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Inquiring minds want to know!
Submitted by woolfe (user info) at 2008-04-02 08:10:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-04-02 08:05:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-04-01 13:04:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2008-04-01 11:35:04 CDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I dunno, man. It had potential, but it wasn't on the caliber of a Greek myth, or even an episode of Hercules circa Kevin Sorbo. Sure you added some Greek names, but it felt like it was based more on one of those shitty God of War games than Greek mythology. In fact, it felt very like one of those formula fighting games --the ones where they take the obligatory Tekken engine and throw in a few names and relevant scenery-- so instead of having Little Chinese Girl VS Tae Kwon Do Boy Heels in front of the pagoda, you have Ares (in the ridiculous Spartan helmet) VS Athena (in high heels) in front of the Parthenon.
Plus WTF is up with the beautiful forehead comment? Has anyone in the history of time ever stopped to admire someone's forehead? Are there forehead women out there?
---------------------
Inquiring minds want to know!
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2008-04-01 23:23:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Another one is available to the public.
Have another request?
Submitted by Darth_Famine (user info) at 2008-04-01 18:33:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2008-04-01 16:03:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yu_moia-oVI
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2008-04-01 15:30:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I read this while listening to Midnight Vultures...I'm not sure, but I *think* I liked the story. I don't typically go for this genre, but it's well written. A good introduction to something greater.
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2008-04-01 14:51:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
First sentance. Wasn't a fan of the rest, but the one made up for the rest.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-04-01 14:49:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
orph
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2008-04-01 14:25:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I might notice if it weren't there.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-04-01 14:19:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/73255
the head
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-01 14:15:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Thanks Bubba :) apollo does have a big head.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-01 14:14:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Subconsciously you do. Just like you look for facial symmetry and child bearing hips and healthy glow genes. Ok, I made up the healthy glow genes, but there is stuff you look for in a spouse and you have no idea you are looking for it. Isn't it called.... natural selection?
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2008-04-01 14:11:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yes, but men don't care.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-04-01 14:10:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-01 14:02:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What does apollo look like? Can someone link me to a pic? Bub?
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Imagine the penninsula of Florida as his torso, the State of Georgia as his shoulders, and the entire country of Canada as his head. Then double it. The head part, that is. . .
:)
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-01 14:09:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
They also have high foreheads too.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2008-04-01 14:02:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Surely the mannerisms you reference are the Irish woman's (particularly the red headed or raven-haired variety's) propensity for spousal abuse, something I'm only able to tame in my wife's case by distracting her with plentiful amounts of cabbage to boil into nothingness. Elizabeth I, Molly Ringwald, and Jessica Rabbit were all redheads. This is mostly why they were hot.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-01 14:02:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What does apollo look like? Can someone link me to a pic? Bub?
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-04-01 13:54:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Narrow forehead below.
:)
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-04-01 13:38:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
OY!
Can everyone stop typing 'apollo' in stories and reviews please?
it's fucking things up when i obsessively search for people making references to me.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-04-01 13:34:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Whore below.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-01 13:32:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I am not a Jen fan, I sometimes think her mannerisms and features are quite masculine.
Molly Ringwald is very attractive to me, very soft facial features she has the high forehead.
I am sure high foreheads being pressumably attractive has something to do with Queen Elizabeth I and/or the Celts.
Either way, Baby Spice is beautiful.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2008-04-01 13:25:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't like her. Jenniffer Connelly and Molly Ringwald were both much hotter.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-01 13:24:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Icarus, I wouldn't say I go for a man just because of his forehead, but I do notice it. And when looking at another girl, I can appreciate a nice forehead.
Jennifer Anniston is very beautiful but has a very small forehead and often it makes her appear to be wearing a wig.
http://www.hollywoodtuna.com/images/jennifer_aniston_pokie_shirt_small.jpg
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2008-04-01 13:22:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I believe the Egyptians had a thing for chins. That's why they wore those braided goatee things. To my knowledge, the medieval folk did too, which is why you see representation of kings with jutting beards. I believe broad foreheads were associated with intellect.
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2008-04-01 13:21:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
for Baby Spice
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2008-04-01 13:19:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-01 12:45:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ooooh nice! I am so glad you are back.
You off again soon, though?
Icarus http://www.sweetandtalented.com/images/bunton/bunton48.jpg I like my forehead, and I really appreciate this forehead. Isn't there something historical associated with large foreheads?
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.... anyone sane? Does anyone sane find foreheads to be attractive? Ladies, are there men out there who can't seem to stop staring at your hairline? Is this some sort of odd fetish I am blissfully unaware of?
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-04-01 13:17:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-01 12:49:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That is Emma Bunton, Obviously not me. I think she is gorgeous.
It is all in the forehead.
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What forehead?
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2008-04-01 13:15:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2008-04-01 12:45:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Icarus - I've not heard of Kevin Sorbo, but it was not supposed to be a myth, just a story with a greek god in it. I'm not sure about the tekken comparison though, as there's really not much fighting.
And Ares was beautiful, he's the also the god of manliness. i couldn't really have him rubbing his beautiful cock when stressed...
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Sorbo did a corny version of Hercules back in the 90's. Xena was a spinoff of it if you remember that. It was more intended to be a comedy than an accurate portrayal of Greeks and their gods, but they got a few things right; mostly that the gods worked almost entirely behind the scenes, often in brilliantly manipulative and passive-agressive ways. Look at the start of the Trojan War. Instead of Ares, or Zeus, or any of the typically macho men commanding the higher-ups to go make with the killing, you have Aphrodite, goddess of love, hooking one prince up with the other prince's girl. Towards the end of the war, Apollo had it out for Odysseus, but did he just walk down and bitch-slap him? Nope, but he certainly made sure the trip home was hell. The only time I recall the gods directly duking it out was when Ares was showboating in the Trojan war and Athena stuck him with a spear; and even that only sent the pretty-boy blubbering home to daddy. It's damned hard to kill an immortal. In fact, for the most part, it's an oxymoron.
My response was nothing personal at all. I thought the writing showed a lot of talent; I just felt like the piles of ashes and flaming arrows bouncing off breastplates were more appropriate to a video game or Hollywood action film and less appropriate to the Greek mythos. You had the details down, but the spirit was off.
Also, I always saw Ares as the spoiled frat boy. Likely rather fat, and not the sharpest crayon in the box. But that's just my imagining.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-04-01 13:04:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2008-04-01 11:35:04 CDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I dunno, man. It had potential, but it wasn't on the caliber of a Greek myth, or even an episode of Hercules circa Kevin Sorbo. Sure you added some Greek names, but it felt like it was based more on one of those shitty God of War games than Greek mythology. In fact, it felt very like one of those formula fighting games --the ones where they take the obligatory Tekken engine and throw in a few names and relevant scenery-- so instead of having Little Chinese Girl VS Tae Kwon Do Boy Heels in front of the pagoda, you have Ares (in the ridiculous Spartan helmet) VS Athena (in high heels) in front of the Parthenon.
Plus WTF is up with the beautiful forehead comment? Has anyone in the history of time ever stopped to admire someone's forehead? Are there forehead women out there?
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-04-01 12:55:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You are quite possibly my current favourite writer on uber.
Way to go.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-01 12:49:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That is Emma Bunton, Obviously not me. I think she is gorgeous.
It is all in the forehead.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-01 12:45:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ooooh nice! I am so glad you are back.
You off again soon, though?
Icarus http://www.sweetandtalented.com/images/bunton/bunton48.jpg I like my forehead, and I really appreciate this forehead. Isn't there something historical associated with large foreheads?
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2008-04-01 12:45:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Icarus - I've not heard of Kevin Sorbo, but it was not supposed to be a myth, just a story with a greek god in it. I'm not sure about the tekken comparison though, as there's really not much fighting.
And Ares was beautiful, he's the also the god of manliness. i couldn't really have him rubbing his beautiful cock when stressed...
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2008-04-01 12:37:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like Ares badass personality more but Hercules > Ares
http://image.comicvine.com/uploads/news/2007-12-15/70309_1000.jpg
Submitted by creman (user info) at 2008-04-01 12:36:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I enjoyed it!
perhaps a more of a battle scene at the start and explaining why would be nice. But again I enjoyed it very much
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2008-04-01 12:35:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I dunno, man. It had potential, but it wasn't on the caliber of a Greek myth, or even an episode of Hercules circa Kevin Sorbo. Sure you added some Greek names, but it felt like it was based more on one of those shitty God of War games than Greek mythology. In fact, it felt very like one of those formula fighting games --the ones where they take the obligatory Tekken engine and throw in a few names and relevant scenery-- so instead of having Little Chinese Girl VS Tae Kwon Do Boy Heels in front of the pagoda, you have Ares (in the ridiculous Spartan helmet) VS Athena (in high heels) in front of the Parthenon.
Plus WTF is up with the beautiful forehead comment? Has anyone in the history of time ever stopped to admire someone's forehead? Are there forehead women out there?
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2008-04-01 12:33:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you dont need ME to tell you this of course but this is a motherfucking win.
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2008-04-01 12:31:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
bosh
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2008-04-01 12:31:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I've been reading 'Taiko' again, it's a top book on feudal Japan. Not really sure where this story came from.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-04-01 12:23:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fucking Awesome as always.
Have you been reading mythology lately?
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-04-01 12:12:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
seery-us righters 4um