Retard ID Cards: A Proposal (1373 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: Tards
Rating: 0.19 on 118 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Jack McCallum (View user info) at 2008-04-02 16:51:51 EDT
Retard ID Cards: Required?
The coffee joint I stop at every morning on the way to work is great. It is located right near my office and unlike the overpriced clusterfuck that is any given Starbucks, the prices are reasonable, and the service is very good. Most of the time.
However, there is one guy working there who keeps dropping the ball. He is a bit slow and usually has a dopey look on his face which I had ascribed to his being of Chinese* ancestry. When he talks, 'Can I help you?' becomes 'cah ah hehhhp yoo?' For a while I thought he was Chinese and deaf, as opposed to most of the Chinese in San Francisco who are Chinese and blind, at least according to the way they drive in the city, but no, I noticed that he was able to hear orders spoken softly or from a distance.
While I had suspected his disability for some time, the realization that he was a full-bore retard left me feeling bad about all the times I had mentally cursed him as a useless fuckheap or been brusque with him when he was waiting on me, and I realized that I would have been kinder in thought and word if only I had known the truth of his limitations.
I few minutes ago I was outside having a smoke, around the corner from the coffee joint. The retard came running out of a deli, intent on zipping around the corner and back to work.
He let out a noise —unhhh!!!— and suddenly he was doing a body roll, knees and elbows cracking against the sidewalk.
Now, my normal reaction would be a smirk and a struggle to hold back the building donkey-bray of laughter that wanted to burst out of me, since I wouldn't want to look insensitive in the eyes of the hopeless drones and cretins around me even though it is clearly a waste of my valuable time and energy to have the slightest bit of concern about what they think of me, but instead, now realizing at least that this young Chinese man was simply a retard, I felt for him, sprawling there and groaning while people looked down at him and shook their heads. I was too shocked to move, and by the time I thought about asking if he needed assistance he was up on his feet and hurrying by with a terrible limp and an agonized grimace.
It was then that I realized the distribution of Visible Retard Identification Cards would benefit both the retards in our society and the people who interact with them on a daily basis. Not a small card intended to be slipped into a wallet or purse, but a large laminated card which by law would have to be worn around the neck on a chain or a nice fabric lanyard.
- If the coffee joint tard was been wearing a VRIC, I would have been kind to him from the start. No one wants to be mean to a tard, well... some do, but trust me; I'm not that much of a bastard. And when he fell, tripping on a wrinkle the air from what I could see and going ass over tit like a freaking tumbleweed, I and others would have run to his aid immediately, thinking ohmyGOD that poor tard! instead of you fuckin gormless dick, why not roll in front of a bus while you're at it?
- Tards wearing VRICs in school would have an easier time as well. Why stick a Kick me, I'm a loser! sign on the back of a kid already wearing a card identifying him as a tard? It would defuse a lot of potential bullying and keep our retards safe in the halls of learning.
- Tards in the workplace would be treated better and would be less likely to be fired for incompetence if they came to the office every day wearing their VRIC. Even the most stone-hearted boss would be compelled to give that pant-shitting tard one more chance, and a fired tard who filed a grievance would likely rake in the bucks, especially in a nexus of soft hearts and soft heads like San Francisco.
- If girl tards who still looked hot wore Visible Retard Identification Cards, not only would it be easier to look up their skirts or down their shirts without getting busted, but it would be a snap talking them into bed or at the very least a blowjob, which would mean that even someone like me could get laid some time this millennium, and let's face it, when it comes to blowjobs, the best kind are given by half-witted slobbering tardettes. And any girl tard wearing a VRIC would be one of the few women on the planet willing to admit she didn't have the answers to every little aspect of human existence.
Well, that's my proposal. I'm going to write my Congressional Representatives and ask them to get the ball rolling on the Visible Retard Identification Card.
*I'm not being racist. Come on, if you've lived among the Chinese you know their food smells bad, their shit smells worse, their women can't wear high heels without falling over, they are afraid of black people, and when they get old they sprout foot-long hairs from facial moles. They may have been advanced three thousand years ago but they sure as fuck haven't kept up the pace since.
User Reviews
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-04-04 09:52:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
meow mix LOL
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-04-04 09:43:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-04-03 14:53:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Good thing I live in America where free speech is protected. Unlike Canada.
===
i didn't give you an order, i made a suggestion, meow mix.
don't you ever feel a little stupid to brag about being american when you're canadian?
you are quite the 'parvenu'.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-04-04 09:40:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-04-03 16:05:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
if jaypeg debuted on ubersite today with no one knowing him from the past he'd appear to be a witty, normal person compared to you know, most of the below
===
No he wouldn't.
jay had a way of writing and a bad sense of humor that i could smell anywhere on the internet.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2008-04-03 18:47:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
erm, when is it?
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2008-04-03 18:47:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
umm.. 'cus I know these things....
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-04-03 18:39:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2008-04-03 18:17:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
and now I have to think of a suitable birthday post...
--
I'm touched, but curious as to how you knew my birthday was approaching.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2008-04-03 18:17:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
and now I have to think of a suitable birthday post...
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2008-04-03 18:16:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I know.. they were willing sheep.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-04-03 18:09:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2008-04-03 18:02:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
:-( You know that this was how Hitler brainwashed the germans, don't you?
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BRAINWASHED them?
Jesus Christ. It took a LOT of steps to the final solution. Did they rise up? No.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2008-04-03 18:02:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
:-( You know that this was how Hitler brainwashed the germans, don't you?
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-04-03 18:02:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2008-04-03 17:53:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Now we seem to approved the VRIC in principle it would make sense to lay down a set of VRIC qualifying criteria...
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Many would say my picture is all that is needed to qualify. . .
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2008-04-03 17:53:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Now we seem to approved the VRIC in principle it would make sense to lay down a set of VRIC qualifying criteria...
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-04-03 17:41:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Speaking of tards, whatever happened to this flash in the pan?
One of you assholes loose your Little Book of Alter Usernames & Passwords?
http://www.ubersite.com/u/pillowcase
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-04-03 17:32:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by whiskey_jack (user info) at 2008-04-03 17:12:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I've always wanted to get a handjob from a deaf chick. With sign language she could talk dirty...on your wang!
--
Deaf VS Blind: My Score Card
http://www.ubersite.com/m/112419
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-04-03 17:19:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-04-03 16:59:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ahahahah
thats freaky
prepare for the flood of apollo birthday posts tomorrow
it'll make 2006 look like 2003!
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Oh Jesus, I didn't even look at the date. AHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Happy birthday, ya pain in the ass.
Submitted by whiskey_jack (user info) at 2008-04-03 17:12:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I've always wanted to get a handjob from a deaf chick. With sign language she could talk dirty...on your wang!
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-04-03 16:59:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ahahahah
thats freaky
prepare for the flood of apollo birthday posts tomorrow
it'll make 2006 look like 2003!
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-04-03 16:48:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
HAHAHAHA!
From the jaypeg post mentioned below... http://www.ubersite.com/m/86268#1917179
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Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-04-04 18:22:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2006-04-04 18:09:59 (#)
Ranking: 2
I have to say though, I think Jay is getting it a little rough.
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I'll probably be pilloried for saying this but I kinda like Jay. He gets endless shit and just hangs in there, and he's done a lot of funny, decent posts.
I just wanted to see something on the front page that was NOT related to Apollo's birthday.
I mean, Jesus wept, there are a lot of brown noses in Uberland today.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-04-03 16:45:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-04-03 16:09:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-04-03 16:05:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
if jaypeg debuted on ubersite today with no one knowing him from the past he'd appear to be a witty, normal person compared to you know, most of the below.
================
Do you really think Jaypeg went away? He's still here and posting.
--
*sigh... the good old days...*
Great White Shart Attack http://www.ubersite.com/m/86268
(Endorsed by jgreening.)
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-04-03 16:12:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
nah
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-04-03 16:09:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-04-03 16:05:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
if jaypeg debuted on ubersite today with no one knowing him from the past he'd appear to be a witty, normal person compared to you know, most of the below.
================
Do you really think Jaypeg went away? He's still here and posting.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-04-03 16:05:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
if jaypeg debuted on ubersite today with no one knowing him from the past he'd appear to be a witty, normal person compared to you know, most of the below.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-04-03 15:57:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
jaypeg wit below.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-04-03 15:55:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-04-03 15:53:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-04-03 15:39:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Apollo, I've read your fiction, and believe me, you might want to think twice before throwing stones.
===
but he doesn't claim to be a 'writer' either.
or cheat on a subpar writing contest against internet nobodies.
================
Whaddaya mean, nobodies? You weren't in the contest.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-04-03 15:53:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-04-03 15:39:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Apollo, I've read your fiction, and believe me, you might want to think twice before throwing stones.
===
but he doesn't claim to be a 'writer' either.
or cheat on a subpar writing contest against internet nobodies.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-04-03 15:47:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-04-03 15:45:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
just because i'm shit doesn't stop you being shit.
i'm fat - doesn't mean jaypig isn't fat if i call him fat.
does it?
--
I think it's more akin to Shlongy discussing the merits of being tall.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-04-03 15:45:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
just because i'm shit doesn't stop you being shit.
i'm fat - doesn't mean jaypig isn't fat if i call him fat.
does it?
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-04-03 15:39:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Apollo, I've read your fiction, and believe me, you might want to think twice before throwing stones.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-04-03 15:21:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-04-03 12:23:15 CDT (#)
Ranking: 0
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Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-04-03 12:59:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
well clearly then the only answer is you are a dreadful writer.
if you have interacted with these people and failed utterly to portray ANY NON-WHITE MIDDLE CLASS HETROSEXUAL with any sort of depth or feeling then you simply lack the ability to do so.
--
Stop being such a pissy old maid. You sound like a pensioner whose last shortbread just rolled under her chair after she spilled tea on her slippers. Jesus Christ.
NON-WHITE HERO http://www.ubersite.com/u/Jack_McCallum/l/allahtown
BLACK PERSONS http://www.ubersite.com/m/88152 http://www.ubersite.com/m/86960
ONE OF MY FAVORITE CHARACTERS AND BY CHRIST HE IS BLACK http://www.ubersite.com/m/77500
OH MY FUCK THE PROTAGONIST IS BLACK AND A WOMAN http://www.ubersite.com/u/Jack_McCallum/l/cei
OH MY FUCK THE PROTAGONIST IS ASIAN AND AS WOMAN http://www.ubersite.com/m/95377
And that's all I have the patience to search for, so blow it out your spotty English ass.
WELL ALLOW ME TO RETORT:
NON-WHITE HERO http://www.ubersite.com/u/Jack_McCallum/l/allahtown - ABSOLUTE SHITE
BLACK PERSONS http://www.ubersite.com/m/88152 http://www.ubersite.com/m/86960 - DROSS
ONE OF MY FAVORITE CHARACTERS AND BY CHRIST HE IS BLACK http://www.ubersite.com/m/77500 - OMG LOL
OH MY FUCK THE PROTAGONIST IS BLACK AND A WOMAN http://www.ubersite.com/u/Jack_McCallum/l/cei --HHAHAHAH WANK
OH MY FUCK THE PROTAGONIST IS ASIAN AND AS WOMAN http://www.ubersite.com/m/95377 - <SHUDDERS>
EMPHATIC PROOF.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-04-03 14:53:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-04-03 14:34:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-04-03 13:23:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
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Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-04-03 12:59:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
well clearly then the only answer is you are a dreadful writer.
if you have interacted with these people and failed utterly to portray ANY NON-WHITE MIDDLE CLASS HETROSEXUAL with any sort of depth or feeling then you simply lack the ability to do so.
--
Stop being such a pissy old maid. You sound like a pensioner whose last shortbread just rolled under her chair after she spilled tea on her slippers. Jesus Christ.
NON-WHITE HERO http://www.ubersite.com/u/Jack_McCallum/l/allahtown
BLACK PERSONS http://www.ubersite.com/m/88152 http://www.ubersite.com/m/86960
ONE OF MY FAVORITE CHARACTERS AND BY CHRIST HE IS BLACK http://www.ubersite.com/m/77500
OH MY FUCK THE PROTAGONIST IS BLACK AND A WOMAN http://www.ubersite.com/u/Jack_McCallum/l/cei
OH MY FUCK THE PROTAGONIST IS ASIAN AND AS WOMAN http://www.ubersite.com/m/95377
===
i think it's time you consider shutting the fuck up, jack
--
Good thing I live in America where free speech is protected. Unlike Canada.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2008-04-03 14:45:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-04-02 16:16:47 CDT (#)
Ranking: -2
you see when other people do this, it can be funny, you Jack just come across as mean spirited.
it's like my drunken alcoholic drug addict whore of a mother, she thinks she is being funny or sarcastic but in reality she is being mean and making a cunt out of herself.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-04-03 14:34:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-04-03 13:23:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
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Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-04-03 12:59:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
well clearly then the only answer is you are a dreadful writer.
if you have interacted with these people and failed utterly to portray ANY NON-WHITE MIDDLE CLASS HETROSEXUAL with any sort of depth or feeling then you simply lack the ability to do so.
--
Stop being such a pissy old maid. You sound like a pensioner whose last shortbread just rolled under her chair after she spilled tea on her slippers. Jesus Christ.
NON-WHITE HERO http://www.ubersite.com/u/Jack_McCallum/l/allahtown
BLACK PERSONS http://www.ubersite.com/m/88152 http://www.ubersite.com/m/86960
ONE OF MY FAVORITE CHARACTERS AND BY CHRIST HE IS BLACK http://www.ubersite.com/m/77500
OH MY FUCK THE PROTAGONIST IS BLACK AND A WOMAN http://www.ubersite.com/u/Jack_McCallum/l/cei
OH MY FUCK THE PROTAGONIST IS ASIAN AND AS WOMAN http://www.ubersite.com/m/95377
===
i think it's time you consider shutting the fuck up, jack
Submitted by SmirkDog (user info) at 2008-04-03 13:37:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-04-03 13:23:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
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Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-04-03 12:59:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
well clearly then the only answer is you are a dreadful writer.
if you have interacted with these people and failed utterly to portray ANY NON-WHITE MIDDLE CLASS HETROSEXUAL with any sort of depth or feeling then you simply lack the ability to do so.
--
Stop being such a pissy old maid. You sound like a pensioner whose last shortbread just rolled under her chair after she spilled tea on her slippers. Jesus Christ.
NON-WHITE HERO http://www.ubersite.com/u/Jack_McCallum/l/allahtown
BLACK PERSONS http://www.ubersite.com/m/88152 http://www.ubersite.com/m/86960
ONE OF MY FAVORITE CHARACTERS AND BY CHRIST HE IS BLACK http://www.ubersite.com/m/77500
OH MY FUCK THE PROTAGONIST IS BLACK AND A WOMAN http://www.ubersite.com/u/Jack_McCallum/l/cei
OH MY FUCK THE PROTAGONIST IS ASIAN AND AS WOMAN http://www.ubersite.com/m/95377
And that's all I have the patience to search for, so blow it out your spotty English ass.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-04-03 13:12:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by DasHeer (user info) at 2008-04-03 12:13:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Jack, go fuck yourself, you self hating Canuck
--
What makes (h) you think (o) I hate myself? I don't (t) hate myself. (w) If I hated myself (i) I'd take (l) out that hate on (l) desiganted targets by dropping -2's in a sad (i) attempt to wrestle power (e) from impotence.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-04-03 13:03:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This is more offensive than hidden101's taste in interior design.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-04-03 12:59:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-04-03 10:32:15 CDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-04-03 09:54:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2008-04-03 04:13:37 CDT (#)
Ranking: 0
When he talks, 'Can I help you?' becomes 'cah ah hehhhp yoo?'
----------------
Just like Thunder from 'Big Trouble in Little China'
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have you not noticed that? I mean obviously jack is a dreadful, hackneyed writer, I think we all agree on that, but his 'characters' or people from his 'anecdotes' often resemble poorly drawn TV/movie characters as if he's never really met an american with a chinese accent, or a homosexual. He just interprets the B movie acting he sees on tv and accepts it as 'how these people are'.
Apollo... I lived less than a mile from San Francisco's Chinatown for 15 years, and while at one job I walked through Chinatown on the way to and from work five days a week... for a peroid of about 5 years. I know the history and all the back alleys, and I've heard enough Chinese immigrants speaking English with varying degrees of skill and accent that I can safely say there are Chinese who talk like this.
How many Chinatowns have you experienced on a daily basis?
a lot of BTLC was filmed in SF Chinatown. Until you've experienced the real thing and not just the movie, why don't you shut the fuck up?
well clearly then the only answer is you are a dreadful writer.
if you have interacted with these people and failed utterly to portray ANY NON-WHITE MIDDLE CLASS HETROSEXUAL with any sort of depth or feeling then you simply lack the ability to do so.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-04-03 12:53:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by DasHeer (user info) at 2008-04-03 12:13:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-04-02 17:53:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sounds like way too much effort. I gave up caring about you colonials after you stopped acknowledging the monarch.
______________________________________
Yeah, we sure did stop acknowledging her, what with having her on our coinage and all...
====
And the Queen still being our supreme head of state as well. Most canadians don't even know that and think the PM is our head of state.
Of course, it's more ceremonial than legal, but the Governer General (who answers and represents the crown) still has most of executive powers and all are bills being with "Her Majesty blah blah consent blah blah TO RAPE!" and the people sitting at the Supreme Court, if i remember clearly, is also appointed by the monarch. so basically, all our branches of government are under the Queen though in reality, it's mostly a symbol.
We never got rid of the crown. I don't know where ppl get that idea.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-04-03 12:36:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-04-02 17:36:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
do you ever have suicidal thoughts jack?
i mean, there really seems to be no point to your life.
do you have goals? or are you happy to muddle along, lonely, making only a difference to your cats? if i was you I would have turned in the old cards a long time ago.
i guess sometimes a lack of intelligence is a blessing.
it's the only thing keeping you alive.
====
HAHA
Submitted by DasHeer (user info) at 2008-04-03 12:13:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-04-02 17:53:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sounds like way too much effort. I gave up caring about you colonials after you stopped acknowledging the monarch.
______________________________________
Yeah, we sure did stop acknowledging her, what with having her on our coinage and all...
bubba, go play a skin flute you fucking douche
Jack, go fuck yourself, you self hating Canuck
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-04-03 11:54:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
you have big problems
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-04-03 11:53:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-04-03 04:24:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
BAH I mean seriously???.
BUBBA?
You think that slack-jawed idiot bubba WON?
AWWWW MAN. That's sure gunna put a dent in my uber cred.
That sucks. And in front of all these self important e-people too.
FUCKERS.
I suppose I have to eat some sort of nerd bullet for nerd fighting with that fucking old turd Bubba. FINE.
No more.
I don't find the joke funny. Some of you idiots did. GREAT. LAUGH IT UP NERDS.
FOR THE RECORD. Marginalizing the sacrifices of any country's contribution to organized warfare just seems so petty. I thought better of you. Canada fucking rocks. Being Canadian > being American. Your country would be fucked without us. Within weeks we could have new channels of export for the vast amount of shit we funnel down to your greedy fucking maw. You sure produce some great entertainment though.
I thought your assessment of the exchange was shit... but it obviously hit some sort of comedic mark - I don't share in the humor or appreciate the sentiment but BRAVO on the joke. That it was at my expense I can only state my continued disappointment.
I still like steak... just a little less.
So fuck you. AND YOU. And especially you.
=====================
Holy sheep shit, Berg. IT'S THE FUCKING INTERNET, AND IT'S IN FUN!!
You'll probably need new panties- those are twisted beyond repair.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-04-03 11:49:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2008-04-02 21:31:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Clearly, I'm going to have to seperate you two by the helmet.
The winner here is bubba. Close call, but by playground rules he won. We all know what website we're on, so we know exactly how valid they are.
Bubba started it, with the classic "Grammar nazi."
Rob countered by a variation of the defence I usually use, the "Pretentious asshole doing whatever he wants" and backed it with past existing correction.
Bubba strikes back by playing the "arguing on the internet" card, and added negative commentary about rob's marital status.
Rob drops the ball with the "stupidity below" manuver. There are three ways you can look at this one. The number of lines indicating the number of reviews below, which meant he overshot. The lines indicating the number of people below, which goes as me, jack, steak. The only other way would be the arrow indicates the closest bubba review in the direction of the arrow, which he hits home, but the actual message wasn't strong enough to kill the beast, let alone stun it.
Even if he did better, he's still only at one of three. That percentage isn't even good enough for a D grade.
Jack steps in as the voice of reason, trying to get rob to quit swinging at bubba with his lunchbox.
Rob tries to dissuade the now "would be in a circle, if there were only people interested" crowd from the accusation of fighting on the internet.
Rob with the denial.
Somewhere in the tussle, was the unholy name drop, of using somebody's real name on the internet.
Bubba sinks the battleship, by taking down Canada's war record. (Canada wasn't ever in a real war.)
Rob flailing.
Rob trying to keep his head above water.
Bubba hits the almost drowning head with a stick.
Bubba is now holding it under until the bubbles stop, by re-using the "grammar nazi" on it's own.
Rob, with the last ditch effort, mocking the intelligence of an internet persona.
And this is just sad. Someone stop Bubba from hitting the dead horse.
Hollow Victory.
==================
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2008-04-03 11:46:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-04-03 16:32:15 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-04-03 09:54:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2008-04-03 04:13:37 CDT (#)
Ranking: 0
When he talks, 'Can I help you?' becomes 'cah ah hehhhp yoo?'
----------------
Just like Thunder from 'Big Trouble in Little China'
--
have you not noticed that? I mean obviously jack is a dreadful, hackneyed writer, I think we all agree on that, but his 'characters' or people from his 'anecdotes' often resemble poorly drawn TV/movie characters as if he's never really met an american with a chinese accent, or a homosexual. He just interprets the B movie acting he sees on tv and accepts it as 'how these people are'.
-------------
OK Touchy McToucherson, it was an observation, not a comment on you or your opinions/felophilia, calm the fuck down
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-04-03 11:36:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Apollo has used that same lameass argument before, btw. Read on...
(from http://www.ubersite.com/m/113140 'Chain Gang Cons Versus Ass Rippers from Outer Space')
________________________________________
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-11-14 23:20:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
it's like the only interaction you've ever had with black people is film and tv.
my word, I'd forgotten just how bad you are.
________________________________________
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-11-15 11:24:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-11-14 23:20:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
it's like the only interaction you've ever had with black people is film and tv.
my word, I'd forgotten just how bad you are.
--
Gonna have to call you out on that one, Mr. A.
If you live in a city like San Francisco for a few years I guarantee you'll see and hear guys like Milkshake and Greavy on the street, on the bus, wherever. I'm not saying every black dude is like that (that would be ridiculous and this isn't one of my over the top button-pushing news or politics posts), but most of the guys in this story are uneducated, and in Milkshake's case ignorant, and if you go down Market Street around 5th or 6th, or into the Tenderloin, you're gonna hear variations of this from guys that hang out on the street all day. Why do you think there was such a big push in Oakland (just across the bay) for schools to teach in 'Ebonics?' Because there are a shitload of black kids (and a growing number of white kids) who can barely speak English. Now, coming from someone who speaks American English you'll laugh at that, but you get the drift.
Could be worse in Hunter's Point or the Richmond, but I'll be fucked if I'm going there.
Joedaddy would know, don't think he's around any more...
________________________________________
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2007-11-15 15:27:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
only 16 reviews for this?!
yep, i remember why i stopped writing for argumentative children and trolls
...and, of course, you're correct
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-04-03 11:32:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-04-03 09:54:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2008-04-03 04:13:37 CDT (#)
Ranking: 0
When he talks, 'Can I help you?' becomes 'cah ah hehhhp yoo?'
----------------
Just like Thunder from 'Big Trouble in Little China'
--
have you not noticed that? I mean obviously jack is a dreadful, hackneyed writer, I think we all agree on that, but his 'characters' or people from his 'anecdotes' often resemble poorly drawn TV/movie characters as if he's never really met an american with a chinese accent, or a homosexual. He just interprets the B movie acting he sees on tv and accepts it as 'how these people are'.
Apollo... I lived less than a mile from San Francisco's Chinatown for 15 years, and while at one job I walked through Chinatown on the way to and from work five days a week... for a peroid of about 5 years. I know the history and all the back alleys, and I've heard enough Chinese immigrants speaking English with varying degrees of skill and accent that I can safely say there are Chinese who talk like this.
How many Chinatowns have you experienced on a daily basis?
a lot of BTLC was filmed in SF Chinatown. Until you've experienced the real thing and not just the movie, why don't you shut the fuck up?
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-04-03 10:11:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
OK - Now I think Steak is right. So I'm changing my rating back.
Fuck you Berg!
YEAH!
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-04-03 09:54:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2008-04-03 04:13:37 CDT (#)
Ranking: 0
When he talks, 'Can I help you?' becomes 'cah ah hehhhp yoo?'
----------------
Just like Thunder from 'Big Trouble in Little China'
have you not noticed that? I mean obviously jack is a dreadful, hackneyed writer, I think we all agree on that, but his 'characters' or people from his 'anecdotes' often resemble poorly drawn TV/movie characters as if he's never really met an american with a chinese accent, or a homosexual. He just interprets the B movie acting he sees on tv and accepts it as 'how these people are'.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2008-04-03 09:17:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Truth below.
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2008-04-03 08:10:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-04-02 17:52:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Meh, it's all relative - so pointing out how other people are just as vile or WORSE than you only serves to make you feel a little better about your blackened soul.
--------------------
So what does pointing out the shortcomings of others do for you Rob?
I think the biggest problem with this plan, aside from the hitler making people wear pieces of flare comparisons, is that you would have too many just plain lazy people wearing the tags to avoid real work or reprecussions for bad work.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2008-04-03 05:13:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
When he talks, 'Can I help you?' becomes 'cah ah hehhhp yoo?'
----------------
Just like Thunder from 'Big Trouble in Little China'
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-04-03 04:24:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
BAH I mean seriously???.
BUBBA?
You think that slack-jawed idiot bubba WON?
AWWWW MAN. That's sure gunna put a dent in my uber cred.
That sucks. And in front of all these self important e-people too.
FUCKERS.
I suppose I have to eat some sort of nerd bullet for nerd fighting with that fucking old turd Bubba. FINE.
No more.
I don't find the joke funny. Some of you idiots did. GREAT. LAUGH IT UP NERDS.
FOR THE RECORD. Marginalizing the sacrifices of any country's contribution to organized warfare just seems so petty. I thought better of you. Canada fucking rocks. Being Canadian > being American. Your country would be fucked without us. Within weeks we could have new channels of export for the vast amount of shit we funnel down to your greedy fucking maw. You sure produce some great entertainment though.
I thought your assessment of the exchange was shit... but it obviously hit some sort of comedic mark - I don't share in the humor or appreciate the sentiment but BRAVO on the joke. That it was at my expense I can only state my continued disappointment.
I still like steak... just a little less.
So fuck you. AND YOU. And especially you.
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2008-04-03 03:44:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-04-03 02:16:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2008-04-02 21:31:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
---
Hollow Victory.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Somebody's got their panties in a wad.
Relax, and enjoy the waves. The surf has never been more perfect, and the way they crash against the beach is just amazing. Lighten up.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-04-03 03:35:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-04-02 22:16:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
steak ftw.
review of the week
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-04-03 02:16:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2008-04-02 21:31:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
---
Hollow Victory.
Submitted by SPECIALk (user info) at 2008-04-03 00:35:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
geez, who pissed in your coffee this morning?
....ohhhh
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-04-02 23:22:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
In a way, I sympathize with you. However, if you need a card to identify retards then aren't you dangerously close to being one yourself?
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2008-04-02 22:49:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Why would you be nicer to a retarded person than a stupid person? They're both just something they're born with, not their fault.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-04-02 22:16:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
steak ftw.
review of the week
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2008-04-02 21:37:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
'steaks review has just instantly and completely cured me of the disease of internet arguing forever.
god damn that was brilliant.
this post sucks, however.
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2008-04-02 21:31:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Clearly, I'm going to have to seperate you two by the helmet.
The winner here is bubba. Close call, but by playground rules he won. We all know what website we're on, so we know exactly how valid they are.
Bubba started it, with the classic "Grammar nazi."
Rob countered by a variation of the defence I usually use, the "Pretentious asshole doing whatever he wants" and backed it with past existing correction.
Bubba strikes back by playing the "arguing on the internet" card, and added negative commentary about rob's marital status.
Rob drops the ball with the "stupidity below" manuver. There are three ways you can look at this one. The number of lines indicating the number of reviews below, which meant he overshot. The lines indicating the number of people below, which goes as me, jack, steak. The only other way would be the arrow indicates the closest bubba review in the direction of the arrow, which he hits home, but the actual message wasn't strong enough to kill the beast, let alone stun it.
Even if he did better, he's still only at one of three. That percentage isn't even good enough for a D grade.
Jack steps in as the voice of reason, trying to get rob to quit swinging at bubba with his lunchbox.
Rob tries to dissuade the now "would be in a circle, if there were only people interested" crowd from the accusation of fighting on the internet.
Rob with the denial.
Somewhere in the tussle, was the unholy name drop, of using somebody's real name on the internet.
Bubba sinks the battleship, by taking down Canada's war record. (Canada wasn't ever in a real war.)
Rob flailing.
Rob trying to keep his head above water.
Bubba hits the almost drowning head with a stick.
Bubba is now holding it under until the bubbles stop, by re-using the "grammar nazi" on it's own.
Rob, with the last ditch effort, mocking the intelligence of an internet persona.
And this is just sad. Someone stop Bubba from hitting the dead horse.
Hollow Victory.
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2008-04-02 21:31:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It amazes me that (supposedly) the same guy who writes shit like this post also produced:
http://www.ubersite.com/u/Jack_McCallum/l/after_the_pandemic
http://www.ubersite.com/u/Jack_McCallum/l/compound_tales
http://www.ubersite.com/u/Jack_McCallum/l/redemptionroad
http://www.ubersite.com/u/Jack_McCallum/l/summer_breeze
I'm starting to think that more than one person pilots this account.
Submitted by Registered_S_O (user info) at 2008-04-02 21:03:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I approve.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-04-02 20:58:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-04-02 20:54:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i think i'm going to cease to acknowledge bubba's existence.
I suggest the rest of you do the same.
Starting......NOW!
===========
Fuck you, fathead. At least you are 334 times smarter than Berg.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-04-02 20:54:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i think i'm going to cease to acknowledge bubba's existence.
I suggest the rest of you do the same.
Starting......NOW!
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-04-02 20:48:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Of course - talking at idiots like Bubba is patently stupid so what can ya do?
heh.
DAMN YOU INFERNAL GREY / GRAY!
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-04-02 20:36:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-04-02 19:08:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Bob, I don't care much about you at all.
You are a temporary, often boring, distraction in my day.
I don't put any stock into what you have to say - just as I am sure you are equally ambivalent about what I have to say. I can tell you that I am not so desperate to get a reaction out of you as to say disparaging things about your wife or family... sadly you are unable to make such a claim.
Oh, and I think you will find the 'we' section of your club pretty lonely. I am many things to many people around here - but very few would assess me as stupid.
You giant fucking idiot.
===============
Few would assess you as stupid????
Heh.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-04-02 20:18:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-04-02 19:11:41 CDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Who gets the honor of having the card with ID #00001...oathmeal or sico?
well folks when you've tossed out nearly 40k reviews SOME of them are going to be funny.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-04-02 20:11:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Who gets the honor of having the card with ID #00001...oathmeal or sico?
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-04-02 19:10:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-04-02 19:02:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I think Berg is right Jack - I'm changing my rating.
YEAH!!!!
---
WOOO!
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-04-02 19:08:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Bob, I don't care much about you at all.
You are a temporary, often boring, distraction in my day.
I don't put any stock into what you have to say - just as I am sure you are equally ambivalent about what I have to say. I can tell you that I am not so desperate to get a reaction out of you as to say disparaging things about your wife or family... sadly you are unable to make such a claim.
Oh, and I think you will find the 'we' section of your club pretty lonely. I am many things to many people around here - but very few would assess me as stupid.
You giant fucking idiot.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-04-02 19:06:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I just found out that the Three Musketeers chocolate bar (almost identical to the Malted Milk bars outside the USA) now comes in mint flavor.
MINT!
Only a sick and twisted mind would consider mixing mint and malted milk.
CHRIST!
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-04-02 19:02:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I think Berg is right Jack - I'm changing my rating.
YEAH!!!!
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-04-02 18:51:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Bergie, do you think it bothers me to have you call me by my name? Are you REALLY sure it IS my name? Do you believe every thing I write? Are you as stupid as we believe you are? What an idiot.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-04-02 18:44:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Of course it's not a fight. Rob lives in Canada. That's all, folks.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-04-02 18:44:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Ahh more classic Jack deflection. Sweet non-point there McCallum.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-04-02 18:42:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-04-02 18:38:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
rob and bubba fighting is so goddamn boring i almost read this post by mistake
---
Watch out wonka, your comment about how boring our fighting is - is almost as boring as the non-fight itself.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-04-02 18:38:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
rob and bubba fighting is so goddamn boring i almost read this post by mistake
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-04-02 18:38:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Pot/Kettle
(1)
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-04-02 18:08:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I think your choice to be such a morally questionable individual allows you to be a more dynamic writer... and a shitty human being.
-----------------------------------
(2a)
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-04-02 18:11:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Retard. Don't make up your own language. Fabricate is a verb, not an adjective.
You meant fabricative or fabricated. Stop being stupid.
Oh wait. . .
---
(2b)
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-04-02 18:31:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
What should we wait for Bob?
You to be funny?
The very text you miraculously cut and pasted starts off saying exactly what I meant - but thanks for correcting what was already corrected.
I get a kick out of you calling me stupid - considering the reason your hemorrhoids are all chaffed-up is that I (along with most of the participants of this site) think you are an idiot.
You prove it every time you show up and type out your regular idiocy.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-04-02 18:38:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
More classic Bubba stupidity.
|
|
|
V
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2008-04-02 18:35:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-04-02 18:20:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2008-04-02 18:08:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
How close am I to your plan?
--
I just want to help the tards. not create a Fourth Reich.
I would have been a terrible Nazi. Too many hot Jewish chicks. It's why I'm not a racist now. How can any white man think ______ (insert ethnic group here) are subhumans or animals when there are so many hot chicks of every size, shape and color out there?
I'm not racist. I'm sexist, but I'm not a racist.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I never said you'd kill everybody wearing an apron, just the ones who aren't part of your plan for your perfect world.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-04-02 18:34:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Keep on ranting like an ignorant fool, Robbie. It's what you do best.
You cannot give up, can you? Like I said before, soon your wife will get tired of you having to be the winner every time. I give you less than a year, if she has an IQ over 92. Which is generous, considering she married you.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-04-02 18:34:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
solid
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-04-02 18:31:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-04-02 18:11:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-04-02 18:01:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
It was supposed to be fabricated - but I kind of like the term fabricate society.
Jack showing off his higher discussion skillz below.
---------------
Retard. Don't make up your own language. Fabricate is a verb, not an adjective.
You meant fabricative or fabricated. Stop being stupid.
Oh wait. . .
---
What should we wait for Bob?
You to be funny?
The very text you miraculously cut and pasted starts off saying exactly what I meant - but thanks for correcting what was already corrected.
I get a kick out of you calling me stupid - considering the reason your hemorrhoids are all chaffed-up is that I (along with most of the participants of this site) think you are an idiot.
You prove it every time you show up and type out your regular idiocy.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-04-02 18:22:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-04-02 18:16:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-04-02 18:08:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I think your choice to be such a morally questionable individual allows you to be a more dynamic writer... and a shitty human being.
--
I can live with that.
---
Is all I am saying.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-04-02 18:20:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2008-04-02 18:08:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
How close am I to your plan?
--
I just want to help the tards. not create a Fourth Reich.
I would have been a terrible Nazi. Too many hot Jewish chicks. It's why I'm not a racist now. How can any white man think ______ (insert ethnic group here) are subhumans or animals when there are so many hot chicks of every size, shape and color out there?
I'm not racist. I'm sexist, but I'm not a racist.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-04-02 18:16:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-04-02 18:08:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I think your choice to be such a morally questionable individual allows you to be a more dynamic writer... and a shitty human being.
--
I can live with that.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-04-02 18:11:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-04-02 18:01:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
It was supposed to be fabricated - but I kind of like the term fabricate society.
Jack showing off his higher discussion skillz below.
---------------
Retard. Don't make up your own language. Fabricate is a verb, not an adjective.
You meant fabricative or fabricated. Stop being stupid.
Oh wait. . .
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2008-04-02 18:08:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I forgot to mention, we should also label other large groups of people.
We need to label them with stereotypic images.
Black kids would have fried chicken, Asian kids would have a wrecked car, Mexican kids would have a fence, Women should have an apron, White kids would have the devil, Jewish kids would have the star the nazis gave them, and of course, illegal aliens should be shot on sight, as every group would have one, wo they'd be easy to spot.
One step further, we sub-divide the classes and cultures, and put additional pictures based on the first big picture.
Now, we divide them physically. We'll have "fried chicken only" things, such as water fountains. You aren't not letting black people into the country club, you're just not letting anyone with a picture of fried chicken into the country club.
We make use of statistical observations, and make certain picture groups do certain jobs. Wouldn't it be nice to have a "fence" do all your yardwork for you? Wouldn't it be nice to have the reliability of a "star" doing your taxes?
We eliminate all universal jobs and scholarships, as it's unfair to have them in the first place. What if too many wrecked cars or devils get into a college they couldn't normally get into, or if any group starts an artistic movement, it takes away from the demand for the rest of the groups.
While we're at it, lets remove institutions of learning altogether. Too many pictures are dropping out, so it's clearly not effective, or worth having in the first place. Just think of the money we'll save by not paying taxes for it.
Later, we'll just kill all the useless pictures. They're taking up too many resources. They'll even be easy to spot, because they're wearing a giant picture around their necks.
How close am I to your plan?
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-04-02 18:08:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Still, I wonder if you are going to gloss over the observation?
I think it's a pretty interesting assessment - I think your choice to be such a morally questionable individual allows you to be a more dynamic writer... and a shitty human being.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-04-02 18:05:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
The card should be called a Tard Identification and Tracking Sign. They needn't be promenently displayed at all times (that would be embarassing) but the law should be written to require them to be produced whenever anyone yells "SHOW ME YOUR T.I.T.S."
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-04-02 18:01:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
It was supposed to be fabricated - but I kind of like the term fabricate society.
Jack showing off his higher discussion skillz below.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-04-02 17:58:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-04-02 17:53:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sounds like way too much effort. I gave up caring about you colonials after you stopped acknowledging the monarch.
--
hahaha.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-04-02 17:57:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-04-02 17:52:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I guess being such a simplistic intolerant fucker allows you the creative freedom to mercilessly exploit the various sociological dynamics we experience everyday in this fabricate society of ours.
--
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHA HAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHA HAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAfabricate society?HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHA HAHAHAHA HAHAHAHA HAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Submitted by SkullBiter (user info) at 2008-04-02 17:56:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I have another one jack.
YOUR PICTURE
____________
Pathetic.
Don't worry, you can't hit this level.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-04-02 17:56:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
no there's not much to understand.
he's canadian with an american passport.
he tries to complicate it but that's about it. he's as yank as arnie.
and as sane.
Submitted by no1hasdis (user info) at 2008-04-02 17:55:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
STFU
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-04-02 17:53:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sounds like way too much effort. I gave up caring about you colonials after you stopped acknowledging the monarch.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-04-02 17:52:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-04-02 17:36:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
do you ever have suicidal thoughts jack?
--
Well, there WAS that one time when you admitted I remind you of your mother...
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-04-02 17:52:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Sure. I'm sensitive.
Which obviously means I enjoy the slurping of cock and talk with an outrageous lisp.
I guess being such a simplistic intolerant fucker allows you the creative freedom to mercilessly exploit the various sociological dynamics we experience everyday in this fabricate society of ours.
Good for you. It no-doubt makes you a better writer.
I just prefer being better human being.
Meh, it's all relative - so pointing out how other people are just as vile or WORSE than you only serves to make you feel a little better about your blackened soul.
You obviously enjoy being you - putrid warts and all.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-04-02 17:51:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-04-02 17:35:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
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I'm not talking uberstandards. Besides which, aren't you Canadian? Enough said
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You need to have followed the Jack Saga from the beginning to understand that whole situation.
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2008-04-02 17:39:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like the idea. Now for my ideas to add to this.
You'd get it updated every time you go to the doctor's office.
We make the big one optional in most cases, for those who are barely retarded, but still kinda retarded. It'd be degrading for the more normal ones to have to wear it, and instead have a wallet sized version. They're the kind that are aware enough to want people's scorn over sympathy.
Have it double as an ID tag. List the owner's name, allergies, and some kind fo contact information. Put a picture of it's face on it somewhere. This way, if they get lost or hurt, we have some information on them.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-04-02 17:36:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
do you ever have suicidal thoughts jack?
i mean, there really seems to be no point to your life.
do you have goals? or are you happy to muddle along, lonely, making only a difference to your cats? if i was you I would have turned in the old cards a long time ago.
i guess sometimes a lack of intelligence is a blessing.
it's the only thing keeping you alive.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-04-02 17:35:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-04-02 22:04:05 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-04-02 16:59:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
bit of a racist there Jack
remember Gingers are only one step up from monkeys in most civilised people's book.
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And the best examples of these so-called 'civilized' societies by uberstandards are Englishmen, Australians, and a few loud Quebecois.
Please try again, and remember to aim higher.
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I'm not talking uberstandards. Besides which, aren't you Canadian? Enough said
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-04-02 17:33:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-04-02 17:14:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
FAYLE
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You're jutht tho thenthitive, Rob.
Bromanthe?
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-04-02 17:32:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-04-02 17:16:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
you see when other people do this, it can be funny, you Jack just come across as mean spirited.
it's like my drunken alcoholic drug addict whore of a mother, she thinks she is being funny or sarcastic but in reality she is being mean and making a cunt out of herself.
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I can totally understand you siding with the mentally handicapped considering your own physical deformation. Are you still doing neck crunches to build up those muscles and hold off the inevitable neck brace just a little while longer?
Submitted by SkullBiter (user info) at 2008-04-02 17:17:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-04-02 17:14:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
FAYLE
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-04-02 17:16:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
you see when other people do this, it can be funny, you Jack just come across as mean spirited.
it's like my drunken alcoholic drug addict whore of a mother, she thinks she is being funny or sarcastic but in reality she is being mean and making a cunt out of herself.
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-04-02 17:15:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I would omit your last point prior to sending it to your local representative.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-04-02 17:14:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
FAYLE
Submitted by jasumthin (user info) at 2008-04-02 17:12:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Your idea is much like Waterwold: it has potential but is destined to fail. besides, wouldn't half of congress be issued cards?
Submitted by dithered (user info) at 2008-04-02 17:09:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-04-02 17:04:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-04-02 16:59:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
bit of a racist there Jack
remember Gingers are only one step up from monkeys in most civilised people's book.
____________________
:(
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2008-04-02 17:08:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
How retarded is "retarded"? By your standards it seems 90% of the teenagers on my block would have to wear these badges.
Which is fine by me, really.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-04-02 17:04:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-04-02 16:59:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
bit of a racist there Jack
remember Gingers are only one step up from monkeys in most civilised people's book.
--
And the best examples of these so-called 'civilized' societies by uberstandards are Englishmen, Australians, and a few loud Quebecois.
Please try again, and remember to aim higher.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-04-02 17:01:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Great idea! If Apollo had a VRIC it would tend to draw attention away from his monster dome.
PS: The bitch in that picture is HOT!!
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2008-04-02 16:59:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
why not just give them to the chinese? then the retarded community isn't slighted and we insult people from a country other than america...win win!
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-04-02 16:59:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
bit of a racist there Jack
remember Gingers are only one step up from monkeys in most civilised people's book.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-04-02 16:54:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm not a tard. I just typo like one.