Kittens and Puppies always die (397 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.29 on 17 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Isaac Tootin (View user info) at 2008-04-02 22:11:36 EDT
I have anger transference disorder...
I normally transfer that anger onto my pet.
That's why I own Turtle
Turtle isn't a cat or a bird. He is a turtle
No matter how angry I get I can always count on punching Turtle in his little face and shell.
We smile and play
Then I toss him into a fan
He bounces and bangs off things then we hug and I feed him slugs
I watch the slugs get eaten by turtle beak and am happy
Nature blessed Turtle with protective armor and the approximate wait of a softball
That's why sometimes I throw him far
I used to have a Cat.
His name was Kitten Headed Cat.
His head fell inside out when I taped him to the back of a chair then pushed it over
He was a terrible investment
I hardly got any use out of him
When I would throw garbage at him he was fast and could avoid direct contact
He also had claws that didn't like being electrocuted
Turtle is slow and loves to get hit with garbage and the bottom of his feet are flat and stupid
I had a puppy too!
His name was What Are You Looking At
He liked to look at me a lot
That's where I got that name
Sometimes when he looked at me I would poke him in the eye
Then when he was disorientated I would throw garbage at him
If I was lucky he would run into a wall
Sometimes I would laugh and play with him but he always died to much
like when he exploded or when wanted to live in my freezer
I got that same dog twice
He was no Turtle
Turtle is the best pet ever and we are good friends till the end!
User Reviews
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-04-03 12:29:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
is this foamy?
Submitted by DasHeer (user info) at 2008-04-03 12:21:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-04-03 12:12:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-04-03 08:40:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-04-03 06:36:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Even joking about animal cruelty isn't funny.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-04-03 12:12:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-04-03 08:40:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-04-03 06:36:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Even joking about animal cruelty isn't funny.
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-04-03 09:41:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-04-03 08:40:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-04-03 06:36:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Even joking about animal cruelty isn't funny.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-04-03 06:36:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Even joking about animal cruelty isn't funny.
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2008-04-03 06:28:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
So do humans, fortunately
Submitted by Creepy_guy (user info) at 2008-04-03 03:36:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
0_o
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2008-04-03 03:30:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm reporting you to the ASPCA
Submitted by spyder882001 (user info) at 2008-04-03 00:09:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey, I bet turtle likes fire crackers better than slugs. Light one and feed it to him.
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-04-02 23:26:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
"weight" of a softball.
Submitted by Registered_S_O (user info) at 2008-04-02 23:04:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Refreshing and honest
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2008-04-02 22:44:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
it's, err.....'disoriented'. Disorientated is something hobbits do, some kind of asian 'tato stew, with no side of rice, hence the dis-orient bit.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2008-04-02 22:38:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Buh? How do Yanks spell disorientated?
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-04-02 22:27:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-04-02 21:13:23 CDT (#)
Ranking: -2
"disorientated"?
that's how it's written in English English.
Submitted by jasumthin (user info) at 2008-04-02 22:14:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I thought my short story was twised, looks like i am not the only one that needs therapy.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-04-02 22:13:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
"disorientated"?
Spay yourself.