Five Minutes of Fun - Lunchtime Walk (525 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.32 on 22 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by orph (View user info) at 2008-04-04 11:40:19 EDT
If you were the lizard king, do you think you could do anything?
Possibly.
The Beefeater's washing line, with the brightly coloured smalls and grey-scale linen flapping wildly in the wind, slightly detracts from the majesty of the Tower of London.
In the same vein, the PVC drainage pipes that line the outer curtain wall, embossed though they are with golden plastic crowns, do nothing but signify fall from grace of this once great bastion - we can't have water dribbling into the moat now, can we?
If you walk past the tower down to the shores of the tidal Thames, the late-Victorian and aptly named Tower Bridge fills your view. Built to look older than it is, it dominates the eastern end of the river, and occasionally parts in the middle to let a particularly tall ship through into the pool.
Rumours and stories abound around this bridge, including the oft-repeated gullibility of some American financier who thought he had bought it one year, having been sold 'London Bridge'. Of course, the bridge he bought was another - one of more-modern construction that had been replaced with the current span built where the original Roman one was first placed.
Enough of the bridge, but we must add that it hasn't fallen down, it's not on fire, and that it is not London Bridge.
You can walk down the river, back past the tower, and arrive at a fantastic view of another masterful architectural achievement - St Paul's Cathedral. Designed by Christopher Wren, it's got a fantastic dome reminiscent of St Peter's in the Vatican. So reminiscent in fact that it was muttered and discussed that Sir Christopher had papist leanings when it finally went up.
Sir Christopher was responsible, along with Robert Hook (another brilliant, yet slightly touched in the head early scientist) for rebuilding much of London after the Great Fire, especially many of the churches whose spires are now much concealed beneath the growth of the modern metropolis. He built all the churches first, and then went back and added all the spires.
One minute remains.
From my view of the Cathedral, I walk to Bank, and past the Royal Exchange, wandering down the Cheapside back to work. Lunchtimes are great, especially when the sun shines, all your clients are going bust, and the smell of spring is wafting in the air.
Then another suit stepped out in front of me. I pulled my razor from my breast pocket, slashed his neck and eyes, and wandered down the pleasant, cobble stoned footpath to my office.
User Reviews
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2008-04-07 10:36:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
My goodness, are you still throwing fits?
5.5 minutes work my friend, read it and weep.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-04-07 10:14:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
gullible autard below
Submitted by Glenn. (user info) at 2008-04-07 08:36:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Microsoft Word says this is 428 words.
That's 85 words/minute. Even secretaries just copying text can barely reach that rate.
---------------------------------------------
A) You put too much effort into that pissy attack.
B) I'm sure anyone COPYING TEXT would struggle to push 85wpm, anyone who types a considerable amount will belt out around 110wpm off the top of their head. Sometimes being dictated to is faster yet, as you don't even have to think about what to type more than a few words in advance.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2008-04-04 20:47:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2008-04-04 20:46:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-04-04 12:58:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I CAN do anything, theoretically.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-04-04 12:31:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
scathing comeback! :°(
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Submitted by orph (user info) at 2008-04-04 12:29:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
and persisting with the notion that you're a hetrosexual man won't make it happen you know. Come to think of it, you sort of look like that pregnant guy....
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-04-04 12:25:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i think you have your stereotypes confused. it's a little sad to see you swing and miss like that. and your priorities as well if you think lying to internet strangers is worth it.
look...composing at 85 words a minute, spacing, finding a picture, is just a lie. others will judge.
but saying you're superman doesn't make it true, you know?
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2008-04-04 12:18:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
That's correct, repeating oneself ad nauseum has no effect.
and it's a mars bar if you must know, you bubbering, malodorous, nancy man
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-04-04 12:16:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ad hominem doesn't make this anymore true.
just like telling your bf you woke up at night to have a glass of water won't change the fact that you stuff yourself with snicker bars that you hid under the bed.
look, you lied, it's ok. :-|
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2008-04-04 12:14:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
5.5 is as high as i can go my semi-masculine, beady-eyed friend.
You must realise, we are all not as intellectually stunted as yourself.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-04-04 12:12:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
when caught in a lie, euphemize.
"ok, ok, that child was like 11 AND A HALF when I molested her"
i don't know what you do for a living, but the average person types 40-50 words a minute. actual composition like this post, according to the internets, is barely 20 words a minute.
this must've taken 10-20 minutes and you try to pass it off as 5.5 minutes.
ADMIT IT YOU OVERMADE FAT COW! I HATE LIERS!
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2008-04-04 12:08:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ok, maybe 5.5 minutes. But you're still the son of a motherless goat.
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2008-04-04 12:08:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What caul fails to realise is, that over time, you get used to typing.
It eventually leads to muscle memory, an example is being able to type certain words faster than other words.
Once you have the though in your head, it becomes automatic. Then again, I don't know any secretaries that type UNDER 130 per minute.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-04-04 12:07:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
lol, ok!
why so angry? cuz you know you lied?
you'll deny it cuz you already lied so it's too late but you know this didn't take 5 minutes. typing at that rate is pretty hard even if you're simply copying or typing memorized text. and you time for spacing, compositiong, and finding a picture.
i work on a computer 8 hours a day and i type faster than most of my collegues and i know full well that's not likely...at all.
you must read books like Johnny Five too!
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2008-04-04 12:03:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Writing is ome of the stuff I do for a living you foul-smelling, faux-french buffoon, so yes it is very possible.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-04-04 12:00:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Microsoft Word says this is 428 words.
That's 85 words/minute. Even secretaries just copying text can barely reach that rate.
I doubt you had time to write a story and space it properly, unless this was 'automatic writing', like my entry, which has a 100 less words than you.
I TOTALLY BELIEVE YOU
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-04-04 11:54:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Coherent.
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2008-04-04 11:52:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i think 5 minutes will result in a lot of crappy endings, just like this one.
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2008-04-04 11:45:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome!
What do you think of the five minute time limit?
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2008-04-04 11:41:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
In response to: http://www2.ubersite.com/m/115918