5ive minutes until your heart stops. (Repost because I'm an epic failure) (465 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.75 on 13 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Rhymenocerous (View user info) at 2008-04-04 12:05:01 EDT
The police arrived at the scene of what appeared to be a rather ridiculous report. Maria, a young 20 something woman came running out wearing only her night gown.
"Oh my god!" She cried out. "He just died! Ralph died! I think he had a heart attack!"
The police tried to calm Maria down. Jim wrapped a blanket around her and sat her in the back of the squad car. Frank entered the hotel room through the open door, only to walk outside immediately, fighting back the laughter.
"Jim! Jimmy boy, get over here and get a load of this!" He called out.
Jim hustled over and peered in the seemingly empty hotel room, not quite sure what to expect. As he slowly moved into the room, he saw Ralph. Ralph was laying in the bed on his back. He had a thin bed sheet over him from his chest down. Jim turned to Frank with a puzzled look on his face and moved further into the room. It was then that he saw it. Frank had died with a massive erection. Next to his bed sat an empty bottle of Viagra pills.
After questioning Maria at the police station, they arrived at the conclusion that Ralph had taken more than the regulated amount of Viagra and suffered heart complications during intercourse at the moment of climax.
Maria would never recover. However, Maria had become impregnated with Ralph's seed and 9 months later she gave birth to his son. The world never forgave her.
User Reviews
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-04-11 10:20:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by woolfe (user info) at 2008-04-07 10:24:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-04-04 21:38:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2008-04-04 20:46:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by lostnphound (user info) at 2008-04-04 16:24:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-04-04 14:06:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Rhymenocerous (user info) at 2008-04-04 14:01:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by SmirkDog (user info) at 2008-04-04 13:26:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Frank had died with a massive erection
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Damn it! proof reading is for squares, anyway.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2008-04-04 13:35:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
EL OH EL
Submitted by SmirkDog (user info) at 2008-04-04 13:26:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Frank had died with a massive erection
Submitted by sideshow (user info) at 2008-04-04 12:57:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome!
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-04-04 12:30:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
is that oathmeal 'off' the 'roids?
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-04-04 12:14:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
:-D
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2008-04-04 12:09:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahahahahahahaha