On the occasion of Apollo's Birthday (561 hits)
Category: Humor -> Dumb JobsRating: 0.68 on 47 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Redskieslookfake (View user info) at 2008-04-04 12:36:17 EDT
Dear Apollo
As it is your birthday I thought I'd catch you a great scam you may have missed out on while you have been abroad.
If you want some great pressies for your birthday, follow these simple instructions:
1.) Hope that Liverpool get into the champions league
2.) Become friends with all the hairdressers in Liverpool
3.) Find out which hairdressers cut the most mullets. This will identify where all the Liverpool players are.
4.) Wait til a barmy night when Liverpool are away in Europe - spitting on people and raiding the bins for food
5.) Break into any player's house while they are away making Paolo Maldini look old
6.) Scouse party time!
It's as good as ram raiding was in the 1980s!
p.s. the spanish are all dirty. They fuck 13 year olds legally and think the mullet is a great hair cut and have the highest rate of inbreeding in all of europe.
User Reviews
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2008-04-04 20:43:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
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Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2008-04-04 20:43:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-04 18:28:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-04-04 16:45:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i'm looking for...WARD THE WEEKEND!
have a good one! :-D
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-04-04 16:42:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
do I have to cuddle? is that it?
Are you looking for a full commitment?
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-04-04 16:40:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
yes. and let's not turn this into a chat.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-04-04 16:37:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
a solid 'meh' on that one I'm afraid.
Gary Larson - funny or not?
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-04-04 16:36:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i can't access youtube from work.
however this just made me lol: http://xkcd.com/402/
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-04-04 16:34:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
NSFW - repeatedly.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-04-04 16:33:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
NSFW actually. Briefly
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-04-04 16:32:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Now I'm curious
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q8e-tvMwJCI
Did this make you laugh?
Promise it's not a rick roll
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-04-04 16:32:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
on uber i'd say phallic cymbals is the guy who makes me laugh the most.
i like apollo and method's reviews but i'm only saying this to remain with the cool guys.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-04-04 16:31:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
depends i guess. funny stuff mostly.
that's like asking what kind of music one likes. anything good will do.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-04-04 16:29:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
So what kind of humour do you like then Caul?
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-04-04 16:29:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
shit kisser as in scat or as in bad kisser?
i'm not sure i follow your BRITISH (OMGOMG! LET'S TALK ABOUT IT!) slang.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-04-04 16:28:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
the only way i'm different than you is that i probably have a bigger dick.
personnally, that kind of comedy bores me. though it seems to be popular among british stand ups, from the few i've seen.
to me it's just like jokes between men and women. it's been done to death and most of the time used by people with no imagination.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-04-04 16:28:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Caul is clearly gonna be a shit kisser. Howay now.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-04-04 16:17:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Y'all need to go make out.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-04-04 16:17:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I got the french thank you very much.
You're still a spacker Caul with a penchant for seeing behaviour patterns where none exist. If I choose to make fun of someone's nationality it is only because A HUGE AMOUNT OF COMEDY IS BASED ON THAT VERY THING. You are different from me - and this is amusing.
Actually, have you ever been on Uber before? This sort of thing happens a lot.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-04-04 16:10:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-04-04 15:56:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I was teasing TTOM, Hidden and Danger Ranger about their nationalities. """
teasing about nationalities and cultures is pretty much encompasses the entirety of your humor. i'm not saying this because i'm offensed. it's just boring.
Caul: 'I farted'
Red: 'Cuz you're a dirty frenchman'
Caul: 'zzzZzzZ'
Red: 'you're bored cuz canada has no culture'
Caul: 'ZzzzZZ^2'
Red: 'you're dark a bit like a mexican. that's why you're asleep. SIESTA, ROFLOL!'
Caul: 'ok'
Red: 'Oh oh! An american acronym. clearly you canadians have no culture'
Caul: 'do you ever stfu, you fucking giraffe?'
Red: 'you're taller than me actually. like a Masai tribesman. all you do all day is jump and down and get ready for hunting lion. yes.'
Caul: '?'
Red: 'A question mark? I see...you're referring to german marks. You want to adopt their currency because you're french and you want to surrender to them! HAHAHAHHAHA'
Caul: '*collapse and has a seizure out of sheer boredom*'
Red: 'and the welsh are this and the irish are that cuz the russians do this since the english have that due to the americans being...blah blah blah blah'
S.T.F.U.
p.s. rongeur = rodent. rat = rat.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-04-04 15:57:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Rongeur is a good word. is the french for rat really 'rat'?
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-04-04 15:56:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
To explain
I was teasing TTOM, Hidden and Danger Ranger about their nationalities.
I of course realise that Wales, Scotland and Australia have rich and varied cultures, with much diversity both within and without.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-04-04 15:54:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
there is no context, mon petit rongeur.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-04-04 15:35:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/115904#2683883
You need to look at context ma petite souris
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-04-04 15:25:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/115904#2683881
a good example of what i meant.
you're more redundant than rob berg. if that is possible.
ZZzzZZzzzz
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-04-04 14:53:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Comments about the spanish are ENTIRELY true. Especially with the mullets.
Submitted by MyTeeOne (user info) at 2008-04-04 13:27:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
p.s. the spanish are all dirty. They fuck 13 year olds legally and think the mullet is a great hair cut and have the highest rate of inbreeding in all of europe.
===========================================
So, you're saying there is a connection between the Spanish and Alabama? Interesting.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-04-04 13:10:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
my parents were from two entirely different regions.
i'm touchy cuz i haven't eaten and i'm looking for reasons to argue about unimportant shit.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-04-04 13:07:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Do you count weekend trips as official "holidays"?
If not.....Ummmmm, I guess around July 4th week - a beach house in Charleston, SC.
NOT MY FUCKING IDEA. Mrs. Shlongy wants to go there for a week because Dave Matthews Band is playing there on July 4.
I have zero interest in DMB but I do have interest in keeping my broad happy.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-04-04 13:04:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-04-04 18:00:14 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-04-04 12:50:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It was then expanded to discuss the problems of inbreeding in Europe - and Spain was mentioned as the prime offender in this regard because of the cultural acceptance of uncle/niece relationships.
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the word inbreeding tends to be abused by giant inbred-looking giraffe like yourself.
inbreeding, when factored on a whole population, only raises slightly an already present incidence of genetic disease in so-called non-inbred populations. doesn't mean everyone is inbred. people without diseases remain normal.
---
Well ratty, I was referring to procreating with one's relatives. And you're awfully touchy about this topic. Are you the product of a marriage twixt niece and uncle?
My mother's relatives are from anglo saxon stock, and my father's are from austria, so I'm pretty ok in the inbreeding stakes.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-04-04 13:04:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i don't even know why i'm arguing.
i guess i should eat.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-04-04 13:04:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i don't even know why i'm arguing.
i guess i should eat.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-04-04 13:00:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-04-04 12:50:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It was then expanded to discuss the problems of inbreeding in Europe - and Spain was mentioned as the prime offender in this regard because of the cultural acceptance of uncle/niece relationships.
===
the word inbreeding tends to be abused by giant inbred-looking giraffe like yourself.
inbreeding, when factored on a whole population, only raises slightly an already present incidence of genetic disease in so-called non-inbred populations. doesn't mean everyone is inbred. people without diseases remain normal.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-04-04 12:57:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-04-04 17:56:32 BST (#)
Ranking: -2
Well, this sure was gay.
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when do you next go on holiday Shlongy?
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2008-04-04 12:56:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
heh mullet
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-04-04 12:56:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Well, this sure was gay.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-04-04 12:52:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/news.html?in_article_id=513520
Shamefully this is the only link I could find with a hunt for 'bbc + inbreeding + muslim + spain'
The daily mail is an appalling right wing rag. The quotes were what I was looking for however.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-04-04 12:50:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Spain is though Caul.
It was on Radio 4 a month or so ago. I shall hunt for a link for you.
The main premise of the programme was worry by British doctors because Muslim immigrants were marrying their relatives in order to keep money in the family, despite their being legal ways to do it. This was causing birth defects etc.
It was then expanded to discuss the problems of inbreeding in Europe - and Spain was mentioned as the prime offender in this regard because of the cultural acceptance of uncle/niece relationships.
The mullets as haircuts is based on personal experience of the nation in Barcelona.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-04-04 12:47:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-04-04 12:46:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
this was pretty much a Loki post
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semi-retals are funny
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-04-04 12:47:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
it's not about football. It's about the lovely scousers and their hijinks!
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-04-04 12:46:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
link please?
i took my information from a leaflet on tay sachs and good ole wiki.
spanish isn't a country of europe either, shithead.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2008-04-04 12:46:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Here's a +2 downpayment that your next post won't be about "football."
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-04-04 12:43:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-04-04 17:41:09 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
ashkenazi jews have the highest inbreeding rate of europe. second comes the irish. i think the english come third, being on an island and all.
of i'm french-canadian so we rank among the worst, but you said europe and i wanted to correct you.
p.s. i see boring generalizations are still your only inspiration
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I took my information from the BBC. Your information is from where?
And 'jews' aren't exactly a country in europe now are they?
my inspiration was 'silly spaniards with mullets who play at Liverpool FC' you silly daffy spacker
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-04-04 12:41:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Has he scored away from home in the premiership?
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-04-04 12:41:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ashkenazi jews have the highest inbreeding rate of europe. second comes the irish. i think the english come third, being on an island and all.
of i'm french-canadian so we rank among the worst, but you said europe and i wanted to correct you.
p.s. i see boring generalizations are still your only inspiration
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2008-04-04 12:39:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
ok, this is suited for an email. no emails.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-04-04 12:39:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
what a player though!
That's a great scam, good old scousers.
I think I'll do that over here with NFL players.