Attention Deficit Disorder Is A Blessing (367 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.7 on 12 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by jasumthin (View user info) at 2008-04-06 02:35:24 EDT
Most gays in prison have spiked hair. It's not a fashion statement. It just goes to show that you can't swallow everything that is launched down your throat. Or as Emmeril would say: BAM.
I watch Rachel Ray religiously. By that I mean that I moan "oh God" every time I get caught masturbating with olive oil. I can't believe how much that upsets Grandma. She of all people should know how important happy endings are considering she was the only Caucasian to work at an asian massage parlor. Fucking hypocrite.
I shouldn't be so judgmental of her though. Between having Down's Syndrome and Alzheimer's Disease it's amazing how well she does with her voodoo rituals. If it wasn't for her I never would have gotten that PhD in psychology studying the long term affects of taking advice from Dr. Phil.
Consequently, the long term affects that my research uncovered indicate that taking advice from a fat bald man forced upon us by Oprah The Hutt is causing the planet to spiral down the evolutionary chain to a future in which the events of Idiocracy become an upgrade.
Now that Charlton Heston is dead the gun nuts are left without their most prized possession: pure unbridled kooky. Or as they would say: BAM. Without him the lunatics of the world have no choice to follow Gary Busy. Gary Busy is the only one on the planet left with enough passion and zest for life to open a petting zoo for children featuring nothing but fire ants and vampire bats.
Vampire bats aren't all that bad. They inspired the creation of Batman after all. If it's good enough for Batman then it's good enough for me. He is so a mentally stable and socially well adjusted guy. Rather than spending his vast fortune outfitting the Gotham City Police Department with the best technology available to combat the criminal element, he dresses up as a bat and fights crime. But he doesn't have a choice. The criminal element of Gotham is a freak show just like him. Attractive people only fuck other attractive people and thus freaks attract freaks.
Sometimes attractive people that are freaks attract their equals. Billy Bob Thorton and Angelina Jolie were a couple.
Sometimes you just have to forgo the attention deficit disorder medication.
User Reviews
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2008-04-14 16:39:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
fuck Ritalin.
Sometimes I think ADD is one of few things that persistently keep me alive, when I get a particularly bad idea to do some whacked out adventure, I get distracted!
Of course I also spend copious amounts of time doodling in the margins of my reports, but that's a small price to pay for the kind of problem-solving that evolves in this fractured little brain of mine.
Submitted by littledan (user info) at 2008-04-06 11:24:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 cause this is what I'm like sans Ritalin.
Submitted by JustAnotherStudent (user info) at 2008-04-06 10:36:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Enjoyable.
Now get back on your meds.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-04-06 09:56:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Three not yjree.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-04-06 09:01:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Yjree posts in the last 24 hours?
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-04-06 07:32:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
One post a day. this one was better
Submitted by Fat-Sacks (user info) at 2008-04-06 06:41:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was funny, and there was no animated .gif image, those are my standards for a +2
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2008-04-06 03:51:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
my apartment smells like cigarettes. i will undoubtedly dream about killing people.
Submitted by Hookhand (user info) at 2008-04-06 03:40:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This is like Paul Reiser's standup. It sounds observational, but it's not funny.
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2008-04-06 02:43:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
To make darko's count.
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2008-04-06 02:42:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
enough already. 1 post a day unless you're awesome
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2008-04-06 02:36:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This is better without the last sentence