abaddon (316 hits)
Category: SportsRating: -1.16 on 13 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by briokid911.at.hotmail.com (View user info) at 2008-04-08 02:10:55 EDT
From the desk of: The Big Guy.
Date:I Got No Time For Dates, HA! (I Love That Joke...)
RE: Nothing New...
A memo to the worldwide company:
Dear Earth, if that IS your real name(Another Great Joke By Yours Truly),
Nobody is outside the law, and everything is rigged. Also, Law is a fake ethic, and nothing is permanant.
That said, There is no reason for any employee of America to be resentful or condescending towards any employee of France, or vise-versa.
There is no reason for any employee of Earth inc to be intimidated by another. Morale is of utmost importance to the drones down there, and I think it's important for the drones to be just as happy as the actors. And I know something about that; my kid is the biggest draw ever. I'm speaking of course about Mel Gibson.
Gotcha, dipshit!
Yeah, I invented that word too, what of it?
What you should know for sure is that when you cry, it means nothing to me. When you pray, I have already stuck you down into that neat little prayer hole. Everytime you curse me or yell my name in joy to whatever Really saved your life (it wasn't me), I am laughing my ass off. You see, when anything is burdened with the label of perfection, said thing cannot invite itself to sympathy for rape victims or crack babies or the Irish(And they ask EVERYday.)
You made injustice, people, not me.
Can you not understand that it was an itch under my middle toenail that made you folks in the first place?
Your giant minds (again, I'm laughing) totally figured it out, huh? They set me in my place?
Trust Me, folks, God has lawyers too.
They're called Baptists!
HA!
I kill me!
Anyways, if you're even still listening, I'll be over here talking to the Martian's version of Me. She gets a big kick out of you fuckers calling me by so many different names. That's right, it's a giant party in the sky, and we might step on you at any time, oooohhhh.h........HAHAHHAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Goodbye until you get more interesting,
GOD.
Or Jesus, or whatever, I'm gonna go ahead and hand that one off to you, I hate to micro-manage.
User Reviews
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-04-08 12:27:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
COCK
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-04-08 10:22:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This annoyed me.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-04-08 09:00:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Glenn. (user info) at 2008-04-08 08:02:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I must admit I didn't enjoy this, but it's in the same vein as some of the posts I enjoyed thorougly. Don't be discouraged, it really is a fine line between shite and awesome. Don't think that you would have to change this dramatically for it to be a captivating read... my advice is to find lots of other work similar to the style you want to be able to write in. Immerse yourself in quality work by other people, pay attention to what you like about that work then see if any of it rubs off on you.
Otherwise you could just fuck off and die while I rape your mother's face.
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2008-04-08 03:48:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Bad sign when I can't get to the end of a post. Puke on a page...
Submitted by billiam5billion (user info) at 2008-04-08 03:45:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
this is so hopeful, so liberating, and so easy.
This was supposed to be so nice.
I wanted you all to know that it's okay to be worried about death,
but I guess you don't think about that much.
alright.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-04-08 03:19:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
BULLY.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-04-08 03:17:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
What the fuck is laiughing?
Submitted by billiam5billion (user info) at 2008-04-08 03:15:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I know that I can write plenty, and I don't even know what to laiugh at anymore
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-04-08 03:12:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-04-08 03:09:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
A lot of people think new users (over 30K) are shit. You are proof.
---
I checked my number.
And then cried with joy. Don't ever take that away from me. PLEASE.
I am in no emotional condition to judge on content. I go with feel.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-04-08 03:09:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
A lot of people think new users (over 30K) are shit. You are proof.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-04-08 03:06:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
See, I'd expect you to be more... um. Awesome.
Still, good too meet you. Your desk is over there. You'll work in nicely - lotta people counting on you for their salvation.
Good to have you aboard.
Submitted by bjrog2 (user info) at 2008-04-08 02:35:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
fail