Ubersite
Home - About Us - Contact
"Good teams win games. Bad teams have meetings." - Ozzie Guillen
Welcome to Ubersite!
Search Ubersite
Search for:

Most Recently Reviewed
  1. Random Pictures II
  2. What's your Theme Song, Ub...
  3. A Stoned Question
  4. Super Important Question
  5. Stop! Weathertime, Boring...
  6. In response to: 5 question...
  7. This isn't creepy at all...
  8. Part III (For jumpinjellyf...
  9. Animal Match-Ups In .gif F...
  10. Sleep now?
more...
Most Heated
  1. Sleep now? (80 heat)
  2. What's your Theme Song, Ub... (48 heat)
  3. This isn't creepy at all... (29 heat)
  4. Super Yum? (29 heat)
  5. 2012: It Could Happen... (23 heat)
  6. SPT, I know why Shlongy di... (21 heat)
  7. Stop! Weathertime, Boring... (20 heat)
  8. Wuthering Heights – A book... (20 heat)
  9. Le Post de Jeudi - Avec Merde (17 heat)
  10. Super Important Question (16 heat)
more...
Most Viewed Messages
  1. The Ultimate MS Paint: It... (1216833 hits)
  2. "If I cum now, will it be ... (774143 hits)
  3. How The Hell Do I Get Out ... (507673 hits)
  4. Exploiting Peer-to-Peer Ne... (427349 hits)
  5. Motivating the Weekend (383716 hits)
  6. How To Pick Up Chicks (352532 hits)
  7. Knockoff porn movie titles (327843 hits)
  8. My J-Date Misadventure (317729 hits)
  9. Masturbating on Skype with... (313716 hits)
  10. Badass Australian Cows (275464 hits)
more...
Most Viewed Authors
  1. Bart Cilfone (1572746 hits)
  2. S. William Moore II (1562185 hits)
  3. Razor (1536156 hits)
  4. JMG114 (1496972 hits)
  5. Sydeburnz (1433051 hits)
  6. MickGinny (1400425 hits)
  7. loki (1143751 hits)
  8. Jonukah (1084191 hits)
  9. VACANCY (1071552 hits)
  10. Sayonara (1065609 hits)
  11. weeeeep (1026954 hits)
  12. Obama Fofana (993893 hits)
  13. Yankees! (979697 hits)
  14. Tom (923202 hits)
  15. THE MIGHTY APOLLO (847621 hits)
  16. I Got A Life So I Don't Ha... (833598 hits)
  17. ++TIGER++ ++LILLY++ (815369 hits)
  18. Sorrell (805583 hits)
  19. Wally (797892 hits)
  20. RIP™ (778871 hits)
  21. Tremble, hetero swine! (760373 hits)
  22. Phallic_Cymbals (751918 hits)
  23. RON PAUL 2008! (749269 hits)
  24. HIDDEN101 (741484 hits)
  25. Will Zone (728033 hits)
  26. T then ToM (719901 hits)
  27. User Blocked (714453 hits)
  28. iddqd (701020 hits)
  29. kaos-king (687759 hits)
  30. kaos-king (670209 hits)
Click here to return to the list of messages.

Uberotica: Are We Sitting Comfortably? (NSFW) (2476 hits)

Category: Romance
Labels: smut

Rating: 1.93 on 31 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Labels:

Submitted by Flash Harry (View user info) at 2008-04-08 11:20:09 EDT


So, it transpires that I am thoroughly unable to write 'erotica'. This post might be more at home in an Uberfilth competition.

* * * * *

The best description of Loisa's bedroom would be 'boudoir.' The walls were papered with a thick, textured crimson; the bed was vast, and luxuriously covered in throws and pillows. The floor was wooden, dark brown in colour, but most of it covered by a comfortable rug. I dropped the coats on a chair, and moved over to the dressing table. The cosmetics and face creams all looked mightily expensive. I sat down on the bed, patting it, appreciating the softness.

So comfortable. If I was going to stay the night, as Loisa had hinted, she might never get me to leave.

I stood up and smoothed out the sheets that I'd rumpled. They were soft and light under my fingers - which suddenly closed around a hard object. My heart jumped as I felt along its length, deciphering its shape; there could be no doubt. Underneath Loisa's sheets lay a long, fat dildo.

Overcome with curiosity, but restrained by etiquette, I wondered whether I should take it out, and have a good look. As I weighed up the situation, the door slammed behind me.

I jumped with fright, immediately moving away from the bed. My cheeks flushed red, as I desperately sought to contrive a reasonable explanation for my behaviour.

Loisa stood in front of the door, surveying me with a cold stare. She had changed her clothes, presumably to surprise me and please me. Her legs were bare, and beautifully pale. She had wrapped her thin waist and generous bust tightly in a pink silk gown, tied around the middle.

Placing the wine and the glasses on a shelf next to her, she untied her hair. It fell in long, blonde swirls around her face. Her mouth, once so smiling and coquettish, was set with a firm, tight pout. Her blue eyes, which had danced playfully throughout dinner, flickered angrily.

'What the hell do you think you're doing?' she demanded.

'I was just putting the coats down,' I replied sheepishly.

'Don't fucking lie,' she snapped. 'What's that then?'

She pointed to the ruffle I'd left in the bedcovers, in the middle of which the outline of the dildo was clearly visible.

I swallowed hard. 'Look, I'm sorry, I was just taking the coats upstairs, and I sat down and...'

'Are you any good at DIY?' she asked, to my great surprise. I wrinkled my eyebrows in confusion at this new direction.

'Yeah, I guess so.'

'Could you work a carpet-cleaning machine?'

'Sure, no problem.'

'Good. There's a stain on the rug,' she said, pointing. 'Down there, see. Take a look.'

Bewildered, but grateful that she no longer seemed angry, I hesitantly got on my hands and knees on the rug, squinting in the dim light that came through the window.

'I can't see much...could you turn the light on, Loisa?'

'No,' she whispered, suddenly standing directly above me. 'Look closer.'

I moved my face closer to the rug, aware of her body hovering over mine, with a leg planted on either side. What could she possibly be doing?

I turned my head towards her. She smiled gently, with a glass of wine in her hand. Her legs stretched up, disappearing underneath her short gown.

'Lie on your back,' she said suggestively. 'Relax.'

As strange as the situation was, I did as Loisa said. She smiled happily as I complied, and, without warning, sat on my stomach. She was short, and weighed little, but the sight of her legs stretching out on either side of me, and the warmth of her crotch against my body caused an intriguing twitch in my trousers.

'Now,' she asked, as she pursed her lips to take a long sip from her glass. 'What were you doing to my bed? Tell the truth.'

'Well, I guess, after I put the coats down, I sat on it, to see how comfortable it was.'

Her blue eyes gazed into mine, and after a moment she shifter her weight, ever so slightly, away from my stomach and up towards my rib cage. Her thighs closed in slightly around my ears, so that I could almost smell her skin.

'Then what happened?' she asked sweetly.

'Well, when I stood up I smoothed the sheets out with my hands.'

'So that I wouldn't know you'd sat down?'

'Yes.'

Throwing her head back in a blonde wave, she lifted herself up with her legs and brought her bottom down on the middle of my chest. For a brief second, her gown rode up. I felt my cock swell immediately; she wore no knickers.

'Did you feel something under the bedcovers?'

'Yes,' I croaked, my eyes fixed on the flimsy layer of silk that dangled in front of me.

'What was it?'

'It felt like...a dildo.'

Loisa sighed, and crawled forward onto her knees. They rested on either side of my face, shoulder-width apart. Her gown draped uselessly around my head; her pussy was just a few inches above my face, pink and trimmed.

'Good boy. See what happens if you just tell the truth?'

'Yes.'

'Stick out your tongue,' she ordered. I obliged, opening my mouth and stretching my tongue upwards. She slid her hands around her ass, and pulled her thighs apart, opening her pussy lips, and sinking down in one movement, with a shudder, onto my tongue.

Loisa clenched the walls of her sex around my eager tongue, and stayed still for a moment as I licked and strained at her. As I did so, she began rocking back and forwards, as I wriggled, flicked, and lapped greedily with my tongue.

She untied her gown and threw it aside, so that I could see her glorious nakedness. Her breasts bounced delightfully, the nipples pink and stiff, and she bit her bottom lip in a delicious display of pleasure.

My cock was throbbing, fit to burst out of my trousers. She shifted again, allowing me to roll my tongue around her clit and suck on it gently. She began whimpering, tugging at her nipples with her fingers on one hand, and pulling at my hair between her legs with the other.

Just as I relaxed into licking her pussy, she rolled off.

'Just stay there,' she ordered, and walked over to the bed. She pulled the sheets back and returned to me, carrying a long, thick dildo. Under the sheets, I had been unable to feel the straps.

'Lift your head up,' she said firmly. I did as I she asked, and she pushed the flat end onto my face. I smelled rubber and had a sense of being trapped as she clipped it tightly around my head. I could still see clearly though, and breath.

'Beautiful,' she whispered, and lowered her arse towards me. She hung above me, in a sixty-nine position this time, and guided her tight, pink pussy onto the dildo. She was wet, and aroused, but it was still a tight fit, and I used my finger to prod her tight ass-hole and massage her clit. She finally slid down its length, gasping as she was stretched out, and I could see her glistening lips clenching around the toy.

Loisa unbuckled my belt as she rode my face, and thankfully removed my aching cock. I gasped and writhed underneath her as she gently stroked it, dragging her nails up its length, and planting gentle, wet kisses upon its tip.

I watched her pussy at it moved towards me, stretching out around the dildo, her juice beginning to dribble down into my mouth and across my cheeks. As she moved up, the rubber seemed to glide from her pussy in a smooth, shiny motion, before she thrust herself down upon it again, forcefully, moaning.

My fingers were slippery with her lubrication, and I worked one of them gently into her tight ass, filling that up too, while the other one rubbed gently at her bean. She was wanking me hard now, slapping her lips against my balls and drooling with her tongue down the length of my cock.

She forced her lips down me, and as I felt my cock slide into her throat I throbbed and pulsed and, without warning, fired spurt after spurt of warmth into her mouth. She stroked keenly until I was drained, and then sat up, all of a sudden. The dildo forced its way ever deeper into her pussy, and she rocked back and forth with a fury.

'Who the hell said you could cum?' she demanded between yelps of pleasure, straddling my face and fucking the dildo eagerly.

She slapped my hand away from her clit, and began rubbing it herself, muttering obscenities. 'Cum in my face, will you...' she said, as she rubbed and fucked herself to a climax.

She squirted hard, covering me in her mess. It poured down my throat, hot and salty, and dribbled down my cheeks. I could see her pussy lips throbbing and contracting around the dildo, and her ass squeezed tightly around my finger. I forced my head forwards, trying to force as much of the dildo into her as possible while happily swallowing every drop that she squirted down onto me.

As she quivered towards the end of her orgasm, she sat upright on my face and took a long sip of wine.

'Mmmmm...' she sighed. 'Oh bugger - now that's going to stain the rug.'

Home Comforts.jpg (70 kB)

Submit to Digg Submit to StumbleUpon

User Reviews


Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2008-10-10 10:32:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Nice!

Yep, that's all I can proffer...

Submitted by loveinbrevity (user info) at 2008-07-21 11:03:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by loveinbrevity (user info) at 2008-07-09 06:15:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

The walls of my sex are currently contracting.

Submitted by HellRazer (user info) at 2008-04-09 17:10:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

WTF? I'm not reading all of that. +2 for the pic though.

Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-04-09 04:37:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

I'm pretty sure I already +2ed this, so I'll spare it the -2 the rest of the front page is currently incurring

Submitted by loan_officer (user info) at 2008-04-09 01:37:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by sideshow (user info) at 2008-04-08 19:06:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Great story!

Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-04-08 18:24:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

I liked it, although I must ask, why do you use 'these guys' for dialog as opposed to "these guys?"

You don't seem like the rebellious type...

Submitted by Lib (user info) at 2008-04-08 14:15:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by beer-turtle (user info) at 2008-04-08 14:03:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

I gotta go take care of something... back in a minute


Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-04-08 13:10:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-04-08 12:50:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-04-08 12:25:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-04-08 12:21:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

*reaches for the brandy*

Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-04-08 11:58:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

cool story, awesome picture

Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-04-08 11:49:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

certainly better than the last one of these i read.

Submitted by lostnphound (user info) at 2008-04-08 11:46:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2008-04-08 11:43:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Good filth.

Submitted by GangsterSquid (user info) at 2008-04-08 11:37:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Epic picture.

Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2008-04-08 11:36:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Holy shit!!! Sounds like a whole lot of fun!

Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2008-04-08 11:33:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2008-04-08 11:24:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Orphelia I meant, not Sgt
=================
thank christ...

Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-04-08 11:30:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

well done!

Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2008-04-08 11:27:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

clenched the walls of her sex

Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-04-08 11:25:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Orpheila, I would have a streak were it not for you.

Wench.

Submitted by DreamWeaver (user info) at 2008-04-08 11:25:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-04-08 11:25:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

What I said last time.

Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2008-04-08 11:24:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Orphelia I meant, not Sgt

Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2008-04-08 11:24:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

inspiration for the story below

Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2008-04-08 11:23:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

goddamn harry, you one horny muphukka

and I think Orphelia is as well.

Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-08 11:23:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Aghhh! Was meant to +2, I am +2ing all contestants. It is ok, I will fix it. Sorry!

Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-08 11:22:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

THIS IS FILTHY, YOU HORNY HOUND!!


Yes! Oh, yes! Read it and weep! In your face -- I got more chicken
bone!

-- Homer Simpson
When Flanders Failed