My UberErotica Entry (1446 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 1.43 on 62 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Caulaincourt (View user info) at 2008-04-08 13:42:26 EDT
Sitting on a wooden chair in the corner of her room, he's beginning to feel a weird rush.
Her scent is everywhere. His forehead is getting hot. He doesn't know why. He doesn't want to know why.
He tries to chase away those thoughts, like the growing hunger of a bulimic person.
The heat then travels through his body, tingling, caressing him only to end up gripping his groin.
He breathes slowly but deeply. His underwears feel like a furnace.
"Wtf? She's really not the kind of girl I'm attracted to" he tells himself, trying to regain control.
He didn't notice his raging erection.
He closes his eyes trying to understand what's happening to him. Normally this girl left him comptetly indifferent, but now being alone, in her intamicy made things different. He was confused.
He cannot help it. He whips out his penis and starts caressing it, up and down, with that little twist at the top.
He feels guilt.
"What if I get caught? What if she saw me doing this in here? What would she think of me?"
Nevermind. Trying to control himself only makes it harder to stop massaging his now slippery rock hard penis.
Her smell is everywhere. He's now kneeling on her bed, ready to explode. He wants to cum, but where?
He could use some of her clothes laying on the floor but they aren't near enough. He wants to enjoy this moment. The hell with hygiene.
"BUBBA! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" screams his sister who just barged into the room.
Shocked to see her brother shooting his load on her sleeping daughter's face.
User Reviews
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-04-28 13:35:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Les_Visiteurs
Caul - have you seen this? It is Hilarious with English subtitles, but my French isn't good enough to keep up with all of the jokes.
Submitted by rorrim (user info) at 2008-04-22 11:26:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-04-21 11:34:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
DETECTIVE LAFLAMME AT YOUR SERVICE!
Sometimes you're priceless.
Submitted by vexx (user info) at 2008-04-18 00:01:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
fuck you asshole
Submitted by Falafel (user info) at 2008-04-09 23:09:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Making a story go downhill in two sentences or less is a talent. I sincerely mean that.
Submitted by SPECIALk (user info) at 2008-04-09 21:25:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
wtf?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CQKU87s8xZU
Submitted by Charlton_H (user info) at 2008-04-09 17:55:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm stiff.
Then again, I'm dead.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-04-09 11:05:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by vergedor (user info) at 2008-04-09 10:02:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WTF?
people categorizing short stories into the categories of "morally wrong" or "morally good"? Then if the story is considered morally wrong, it cannot be funny at the same time!!!
Reminder: the categories to judge a post are listed in the drop down list. There is no moral judgment in these... we are judging if we were entertained. I was entertained... does that mean I am in favor of legalizing paedophilia? Certainly not.
As a final note: Only people are morally good or bad, not posts. Same applies to stupidity... only authors and raters are stupid, not the posts or reviews they make.
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2008-04-09 07:41:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Haha.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-04-09 06:53:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-04-08 15:09:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-04-08 14:17:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I don't think this is fucking funny at all
===
you mean not funny as in, "i am sensitive on that topic because i have a little girl"?
just curious.
=====
no i mean as in "no one ever really takes that moral high ground stance around here any more so sometimes i like to play that role in hopes of an argument but you didn't respond until after i left work for the day so my plans were sadly dashed' =(
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-04-09 06:04:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2008-04-08 14:08:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I come and I go between your kidneys.
_____________
Je t'aime
Submitted by DanielJackings (user info) at 2008-04-09 05:24:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Lol copypasta
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-04-09 04:37:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Doop doop doop doo -2, doop doop doop doo doopidy doooo
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-04-09 04:04:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
dooooood...
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-04-09 03:18:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If I'm a child, that means you're a pedophile, and I'll be damned if I'm going to stand here and take this from a pervert.
Submitted by loan_officer (user info) at 2008-04-09 01:35:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2008-04-08 19:45:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
S'true - He's an integral part of his community.
he's also active in supporting the youth sports leagues.
a good guy, all-in-all... if only he weren't a bitter 40 yr old in his mum's basement.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2008-04-08 13:35:02 PDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-04-08 15:43:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2008-04-08 14:45:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Poor sadie.
===============
Says the Sunday School Teacher. Lying cocksucker.
-----
No lies. Several people on here know.
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2008-04-08 19:26:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I thought it was just gonna be a picture of you in a sexy pose, but this was good too.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2008-04-08 19:17:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ha
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-04-08 19:08:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
is this plagiarised?
from bubba's diary?
Submitted by jigglypuff (user info) at 2008-04-08 19:04:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
If you don't condone it, how can it be funny? It's either good or totally wrong
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-04-08 18:55:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by jigglypuff (user info) at 2008-04-08 18:48:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Wrong on many levels
---------------
you forgot to say "... but so right."
Obviously I don't condone it, but it was a funny story.
Submitted by jigglypuff (user info) at 2008-04-08 18:48:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Wrong on many levels
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-04-08 18:43:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
His underwears feel like a furnace.
Submitted by sideshow (user info) at 2008-04-08 18:23:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Caul,
I do have to say I think this was your best piece of work so far. Utterly hilarious. I did not know what to expect or where this was going, but it was so funny. Congratulations on a wonderful piece of writing!
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2008-04-08 17:27:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
lawlerskates!
Submitted by woolfe (user info) at 2008-04-08 17:04:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2008-04-08 16:35:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-04-08 15:43:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2008-04-08 14:45:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Poor sadie.
===============
Says the Sunday School Teacher. Lying cocksucker.
-----
No lies. Several people on here know.
Submitted by precision (user info) at 2008-04-08 16:34:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2008-04-08 14:21:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fucking hell, you owe me another keyboard you perverted French bastard. This one's now coated in coffee and snot.
-------------------------------------------------------------
Yeah, thats what I tell them it is too...coffee and snot.....
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-04-08 15:43:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2008-04-08 14:45:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Poor sadie.
===============
Says the Sunday School Teacher. Lying cocksucker.
Submitted by Cracked_out_cali (user info) at 2008-04-08 15:39:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wish I would have read this before scrolling to the picture.
UNDERWEARS!
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-04-08 15:38:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good ol' shenanigans.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2008-04-08 15:34:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
lmao
Submitted by Cyrus (user info) at 2008-04-08 15:28:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-04-08 14:03:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
'His underwears feel like a furnace.'
that was where the laughter started.
------------------------------------
Yup. And then there was: "with that little twist at the top."
I sense the voice of experience here, sister's sleeping daughter and all.
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2008-04-08 15:25:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
very nice very nice I take back that rude meany pants comment of mine
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-08 15:23:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Haha I never said I was pretty. What have looks got to do with fiction. This is a serious writers forum lol. I am gonna check you out - must be Brad Pitt I am talking to!
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2008-04-08 15:21:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
well that looks like someone whose opinion I ought to respect, brb vomiting
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-08 15:19:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
lol thanks Caul, how kind. You never insulted my recent camwhore - with added pregnancy weight!!
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-04-08 15:18:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
the answer to your question DMD: http://www.ubersite.com/m/111836#2529865
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-08 15:18:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I could say the same for you, DMD. I am terribly sorry our paths cross like this, but the front page is currently rammed with really good fiction. Are you registered blind?
Submitted by lechuza (user info) at 2008-04-08 15:18:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
haha caul FTW!
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2008-04-08 15:16:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
who in god's holy name are you
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-08 15:15:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Haha, Caul, you should have entered.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2008-04-08 20:01:08 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
unfortunately this is better than most uber fiction
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Are you fuckin' retarded DMD?
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-04-08 15:09:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-04-08 14:17:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I don't think this is fucking funny at all
===
you mean not funny as in, "i am sensitive on that topic because i have a little girl"?
just curious.
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2008-04-08 15:01:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
unfortunately this is better than most uber fiction
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-04-08 14:57:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I DIDN'T KNOW THAT YOU WERE A UBER CONTESTER!
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2008-04-08 14:45:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Poor sadie.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-04-08 14:29:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2008-04-08 14:21:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fucking hell, you owe me another keyboard you perverted French bastard. This one's now coated in coffee and snot.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-04-08 14:17:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I don't think this is fucking funny at all
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2008-04-08 14:08:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I come and I go between your kidneys.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-04-08 14:03:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
'His underwears feel like a furnace.'
that was where the laughter started.
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2008-04-08 13:56:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
How many rednecks are in Montreal?
I can't imagine many.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2008-04-08 13:55:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Great, now I've got Frank Zappa's "Catholic Girls" stuck in my head.
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2008-04-08 13:50:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-04-08 13:49:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
lol
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-04-08 13:48:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Who thinks 'wtf'?
funny though
Submitted by DangerPants (user info) at 2008-04-08 13:46:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The people on this site have serious reading comprehension issues.
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2008-04-08 13:46:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
goddamn caul
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2008-04-08 13:45:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
lol is this based on a true story?
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-04-08 13:45:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahahahaha.
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2008-04-08 13:43:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAAHAHAHA