Uberotica or Suck My Cold Dead Cock Bitches I'm an Oscar Winner (877 hits)
Category: SportsRating: 1.57 on 30 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Charlton Heston (View user info) at 2008-04-08 17:11:34 EDT
I waited in the brush, taking care to slow my breathing. Soft and shallow was required to prevent premature exposure. Their senses were so fucking keen. Soft and shallow. I allowed myself a tiny smile. Just the opposite of what this bitch was going to get once I got my paws on her.
I glanced around carefully, moving only my eyes. I'd developed the ability to remain near motionless for hours, and I was exceptionally quiet. I had to be. They were animals. Fire with fire, and all that.
I heard a sharp noise to my left about forty meters out. The sound cut through the ambient din like a knife. I knew immediately it was her. My muscles tensed. Coiled. I slowed my breathing even more.
Closer.
I caught flashes of her dark hair through the foliage.
I felt a slight breeze in my face and silently exulted. She'd be almost on top of me before picking up my scent.
I felt my cock move under my tunic.
Twenty meters. My dick was enormous.
At fifteen meters, she slowed. It was almost imperceptible, but I knew. She sensed something. I prepared to spring, but I needed her closer. They were fast, and in spite of my abilities this was not my native habitat.
Ten meters. Keep coming, you bitch. I badly needed this.
Suddenly she turned.
I leapt out and took her from behind, pinning her arms and covering her mouth with my hand. I forced three fingers into her mouth. It was soft and wet and warm.
"Don't fucking move."
I probed her mouth with my fingers. Her hot breath flowed down my wrist like syrup, and the soft wetness of her tongue felt cool against my calloused fingers.
I fucked her mouth with those fingers.
I slid my other hand down her back and found her cunt. She gasped as I slid a finger inside.
I jerked her tighter against me and pushed my fingers deeper into her mouth, using the meat of my hand to open her wide.
I pushed her to the ground, using her mouth and cunt to control her. It briefly crossed my mind she would use these same holes to control me if she could.
I pulled my hand from her mouth and shoved her face into the dirt, finger fucking her rapidly with my other hand. Her moans quickly became full throated, and I knew she was ready.
I cried out in pain and pleasure as I pushed my cock inside her with one thrust. She screamed and tried to rise, but I was not to be denied.
I pumped her hard, finding a rhythm and feeling her respond in spite of herself. I found her tits and roughly dug my fingers into the soft flesh.
Faster now.
Harder.
She began to move with me, spreading her knees out to provide better resistance.
I felt my orgasm building.
I pulled my cock out and shoved her onto her back.
Her disorientation worked to my advantage, and before she could scramble away I was on top of her.
I straddled her chest, pinning her arms with my knees.
I grabbed my cock and forced it deep into her throat, exploding almost immediately.
She struggled, but I gripped her face in my hands and held it tight.
Our eyes locked as I came down her throat.
"And...cut!"
I rolled off and we lay there, gasping for breath.
The director smiled down at us, blocking out the sun.
"Beautiful, just great! Nice work, Chuck. And you, too, Miss...?"
"Johnson. Amy Johnson."
"Right. Make sure you sign your voucher before you leave, kid."
Amy nodded. She looked for Mr. Heston, but he was already being hustled to his trailer.
-------
Later, at dinner, one of the grips spoke with the unit production manager.
"So, you know that sex scene today?"
"Yeah."
"How the hell are they gonna get that past the MPAA?"
The UPM almost spit out his roast beef.
"Jesus Christ, kid. We weren't even rolling."
"But-"
"It's in his contract. Every film."
"So that girl-"
"She gets a voucher for an extra hundred, the 'scene' ends up on the cutting room floor, and everybody's happy."
"Holy Moses!"
"Exactly."
User Reviews
Submitted by HellRazer (user info) at 2008-04-09 17:38:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I <3 the NRA.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2008-04-09 17:35:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Seriously who the fuck is this Heston guy?
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2008-04-09 10:08:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
OMG!
Charlton Heston porked the Pink Power Ranger!?!?
you sir, are my hero.
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2008-04-09 09:28:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2008-04-09 08:58:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
C'mon Jack, you can do better than this.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-04-09 08:41:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-04-09 05:56:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That was interesting
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-04-09 04:28:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Just because you remembered you had this alter.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-04-09 04:20:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
'Every film'
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2008-04-08 22:50:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2008-04-08 17:37:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2008-04-08 22:23:15 BST (#)
Ranking: 1
that's why I always wait until the more popular uber folk review it...that way I know how to rate!
---------------------------------
I'm not a follower.
_______
I wasn't serious...
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-04-08 21:28:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-04-08 18:58:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Another nice piece of work by Charlton_H. Whoever owns this alter is pretty good.
==============
The guy who drives this alter has told us at LEAST 20 times who he is. Where you been?
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2008-04-08 19:54:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
nice title
Submitted by Lib (user info) at 2008-04-08 19:36:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2008-04-08 19:27:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-04-08 19:16:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i spanked my monkey
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-08 19:02:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2008-04-08 23:19:26 BST (#)
Ranking: -1
Orphelia - why are you +2ing everyone's Uberotica posts? Surely if we're leaving it to the fates you can vote what you like?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I organised the contest so I auto +2 every contest and these 'other' posts are funny. So far, I would have +2ed everyone anyway.
If it is a problem to you, I can always remove your +2.
I could ask why you drop -2s but to be honest, I don't give a tuppence.
Good luck, by the way, I am struggling like hell with my post and will probably forfeit :(
Submitted by sideshow (user info) at 2008-04-08 19:01:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
This was pretty good. I wish I had a clause like that in my contract.
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-04-08 18:58:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Another nice piece of work by Charlton_H. Whoever owns this alter is pretty good.
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2008-04-08 18:19:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Orphelia - why are you +2ing everyone's Uberotica posts? Surely if we're leaving it to the fates you can vote what you like?
Submitted by Charlton_H (user info) at 2008-04-08 18:03:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Cracked_out_cali (user info) at 2008-04-08 17:57:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I liked the beginning and end of this. Not really sure what to think of everything between though
So you enjoyed only the Alpha and the Omega, man?
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-08 18:03:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
'Holy Moses!'
hehe.
Submitted by Cracked_out_cali (user info) at 2008-04-08 17:57:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I liked the beginning and end of this. Not really sure what to think of everything between though
Submitted by Charlton_H (user info) at 2008-04-08 17:56:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-04-08 17:49:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was rubbish but im drawn to you, much like an angry parent to bubbas house
==
Render unto Caesar what is Caesar's, and unto Me what is Mine.
Go in piece my son.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-04-08 17:49:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was rubbish but im drawn to you, much like an angry parent to bubbas house
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2008-04-08 17:37:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2008-04-08 22:23:15 BST (#)
Ranking: 1
that's why I always wait until the more popular uber folk review it...that way I know how to rate!
---------------------------------
I'm not a follower.
Submitted by Charlton_H (user info) at 2008-04-08 17:29:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You insult my massive talent Red.
But I forgive you, boy. Come sit on papa's lap.
That's it, doesn't this feel nice?
What's that you ask?
Why, that's just my massive talent, boy.
Don't be scared, just move a little to the left.
That's it, riiiiight on top of it.
Submitted by Charlton_H (user info) at 2008-04-08 17:24:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Pedants!
Behold my mighty staff, for it shall tear your ass asunder!
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-04-08 17:24:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Clearly Jack.
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2008-04-08 17:23:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
that's why I always wait until the more popular uber folk review it...that way I know how to rate!
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2008-04-08 17:20:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Oh fuck knows what to give this, I didn't like it I don't think... I may change my mind...