Negative Nancy (1033 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.23 on 88 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by pen_name (View user info) at 2008-04-09 04:57:49 EDT
"He ain't dead."
"I know. Ambulance is coming."
"He ain't dead."
"Mitch, I got eyes."
"He ain't dead."
"Jesus Christ. Would you shut up."
Mitch nodded, drew out his knife, and rammed into into base of the neck of the person lying supine at his feet. The person gurgled. Blood seeped around the knife and pooled around a pair of jerking shoulders. More blood came out of the mouth--some as a splatter, the rest bubbling up in a petering fountain of gore.
When the body relented and stopped its sputters and quasi seizures, Mitch withdrew the knife.
"My god. Oh my god."
Mitch sighed. "You ain't dead."
User Reviews
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2008-04-12 15:21:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
How I've rated you-
pen_name(user info) 21 on 13 = 1.62
How you've rated me-
pen_name(user info) 50 on 30 = 1.67
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-10 05:42:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No, I think that was nice. You could have sold it on ebay.
Cousins are weird.
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2008-04-10 05:20:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
same thing happened when my cousins got me madden 2005 for the ps2. later i got it for the xbox and tried to give it back to them. i thought i was being nice. instead i besmirched their gift.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-10 05:13:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Could you be anymore ungrateful?
:)
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2008-04-10 05:10:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
not really. fun to nibble, but nothing i would want to live on.
Submitted by DreamWeaver (user info) at 2008-04-10 04:31:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Happy now, heat whore?? :)
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2008-04-09 19:41:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2008-04-09 19:32:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Where's the link to the who rates who what when where how thing?
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i had the same problem remembering, so i just put them in the comments of one of my posts.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/78386#2681959
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2008-04-09 19:38:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Metallica rule
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2008-04-09 19:32:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Where's the link to the who rates who what when where how thing?
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2008-04-09 17:54:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Charlton_H (user info) at 2008-04-09 17:51:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I stabbed an extra in the cunt on El Cid.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2008-04-09 17:33:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
She's a rapist.
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2008-04-09 17:17:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Caulfield (user info) at 2008-04-09 17:10:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Needed more tweaking.
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i don't think that comment could have been anymore dickish.
and you stole that line from "you've got mail."
Submitted by Caulfield (user info) at 2008-04-09 17:10:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Needed more tweaking.
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2008-04-09 17:00:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2008-04-09 11:03:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
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there's my objective review! he is an authority on tales of horror and woe.
Submitted by jasumthin (user info) at 2008-04-09 16:59:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Sadly, i get it.
Submitted by HellRazer (user info) at 2008-04-09 16:00:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
What?
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-09 12:21:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
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Submitted by Fungah (user info) at 2008-04-09 16:58:37 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
I enjoyed this for some reason.
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Of course you did, it is number 6 Most Heated.
Submitted by Fungah (user info) at 2008-04-09 11:58:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I enjoyed this for some reason.
Submitted by no1hasdis (user info) at 2008-04-09 11:27:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2008-04-09 11:03:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-04-09 09:42:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-04-09 09:08:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-09 09:00:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
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Submitted by Glenn. (user info) at 2008-04-09 13:37:20 BST (#)
Ranking: -2
What the fuck is with this 3-way circle jerk of +2's? Next time write something good.
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lol this guy is funny. quite
Submitted by lostnphound (user info) at 2008-04-09 08:38:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
?
Submitted by Glenn. (user info) at 2008-04-09 08:37:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
What the fuck is with this 3-way circle jerk of +2's? Next time write something good.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-04-09 08:34:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Good name, I throughly approve!
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-09 08:31:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
MWG has a cat called Chairman Meow. That cracks me up.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-04-09 08:30:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Captain Dangerous hasn't left a single hair anywhere and he only ever poops in his box (kept in the aft locker). I'm trying to get him to leave the boat and ferret around the yard and poop, but according to him, that would be dirty.
He is currently sat on the bowsprit, facing into the wind with a look of purpose.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-09 08:20:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
no, pets leave hair and poop everywhere and die. a good bed does not.
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2008-04-09 08:17:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
yeah, but stress can cause both lack of sleep, depression, and reduced serotonin levels. perhaps i need a pet more than a fluffy bed.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-09 08:14:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Lack of sleep kills as it makes you less alert so you are more likely to fall down the stairs, have a accident while driving your car etc.
Also, if you have any existing illness, this can be made worse by tiderness.
You are more likely to commit suicide if you are physically exhausted.
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2008-04-09 08:07:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
trapped wind, nothin. maybe she is pregnant.
and i will be going to sleep this very review, though i don't believe a lack of it can kill you
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-09 08:03:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I told him already it will just be trapped wind. They nearly always take out a healthy one as a precaution.
Go to bed. You die from no sleep.
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2008-04-09 07:58:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
oh yeah, sorry about your sister, mr. bell.
even when the it bursts, the docs usually already have the prophylactic antibiotics on board, and then it just becomes a matter of waiting for the infection to clear before removing the appy.
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2008-04-09 07:52:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
when i got the idea i knew i wanted it to be short. in fact, if i were to change it i would probably replace the "Mitch nodded, etc." with...
"Mitch stabbed and killed the injured man."
"'omg'"
"'you ain't dead.'"
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-04-09 07:39:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
tart below
Submitted by DreamWeaver (user info) at 2008-04-09 07:35:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This should be longer, though, I do enjoy reading little snippets like this.
Leaves you wondering...
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-04-09 07:31:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well as long as she is going to be okay I won't feel to bad for laughing at her pain.
Cheers girls x
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-04-09 07:31:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
She will be doesed up on the right stuff to make sure that the infection doesn't spread etc...
The best thing to do it send her chocolate......and not bounce on her stomach for a while.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-09 07:30:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Not unless it gets septic or bursts.
Que comments about what Uber men would like to do to your sis :(
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-04-09 07:30:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If she is in hospital, she will be ok now. They are very painfull and only dangerous if they burts and she isn't in a hospital so they can remove it.
Uncomfortable to say the least but she will be fine now.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-04-09 07:27:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Just heard that my big sister's in hospital with appendicitis. That's okay though right? Uncomfortable, but not dangerous?
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-04-09 07:10:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'll tell him that! He will laugh his arse off.
Maybe he should go into contract killing, at least the hours would be better.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-09 07:06:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Candyfloss scares me shitless.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-04-09 07:02:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It is certainly a sinister nickname. I imagine you shine a boat-shaped light into the night sky when you need him and he flies in, gripping onto the sail of another vessel, cape flapping in his wake, yelling 'I am the Contractor!!!'
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2008-04-09 07:01:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/77447
there's your fucking dark story.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-04-09 06:59:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Makes him sound a bit like a hit man. The closest thing he gets to murdering people is when they accidently stab each other at work. His last big injury was stabbing himself though. Scalpel to the side = hospital. Lots of stitches. Muppet.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-04-09 06:55:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
'the contractor' - i love that.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-04-09 06:55:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Orphelia have you gone wrong? This is about as dark as candyfloss! The master of dark and awesome writing, I think:
http://www.ubersite.com/u/Stagger_Lee
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-04-09 06:54:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
We shall have to differ then chicken pie.
Speaking of chicken pie, I must start making soup. The contractor has man flu and is bailing home early today.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-09 06:52:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
LM, I liked it the length it was. Short, sinister and 'niddle' part is fantastic writing.
Very dark
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2008-04-09 06:51:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i rate him
darko (user info) 112 on 59 = 1.90
he rates me
darko (user info) 57 on 48 = 1.19
and that's with no actual rating power. look at that blood consistency. that's friendship!
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-04-09 06:51:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
HurtByTheSun (user info) -11 on 7 = -1.57
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Just got worse!
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2008-04-09 06:48:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i don't get enough love. look at this
how i rated them...
ChristPuncher (user info) 65 on 109 = 0.60
HurtByTheSun (user info) 13 on 24 = 0.54
how they rated me...
ChristPuncher (user info) -4 on 2 = -2.00
HurtByTheSun (user info) -10 on 6 = -1.67
i'm gonna strike...i swear i will.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-04-09 06:47:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2008-04-09 11:36:56 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
i'm sure i've insulted him, though. repeatedly. except that one post with the fire and the balls.
=============
You have. I don't give a shit. Like I said, I rate the post. I've seen better (-1).
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-04-09 06:45:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I did like it, to be honest though I really think it should have been longer, a bit more of a build up. I'm all for dark writing. I love any bit of writing that prevokes something in me. This gave me a mild case of the heebiejeebies and that's cool.
To give me the willies this would have had to be longer.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-04-09 06:45:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Fire and balls sounds like an excellent combination
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Sounds threatening.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-09 06:42:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Fire and balls sounds like an excellent combination
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2008-04-09 06:38:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-09 06:36:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i should really be sleeping but this post has so much heat potential my balls are sweating
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Uberotica entry?
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I'm not entered. and a good thing, too. old hurty would likely question my ability to get him off, even though i am awesome at it.
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2008-04-09 06:36:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i'm sure i've insulted him, though. repeatedly. except that one post with the fire and the balls.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-09 06:36:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i should really be sleeping but this post has so much heat potential my balls are sweating
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Uberotica entry?
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2008-04-09 06:34:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i should really be sleeping but this post has so much heat potential my balls are sweating.
btw, you know what darko's term of endearment is? "I FUCKING LOVE YOU"
he never loves someone without some decent fucking.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-09 06:34:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hhurty DOES rate the post. He gave my favourite post a 1 just because he didn't like the name Anna being repeated. Or something.. I forget.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-04-09 06:33:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
blonde below
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-09 06:33:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh LM, I have no idea. :(
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-04-09 06:32:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
that is obviously a rating based on personal enmity because this is a very clever story.
=======
I rate posts, not the posters.
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2008-04-09 06:32:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
but you liked it, right lm? how unfair is this rating? geesh.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-04-09 06:31:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was......disturbing.
Orphy.....what are you burbling about?
Sausages?
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2008-04-09 06:30:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
what's a tory? sounds like a conservative party. yep. damn conservatives and their sterling silver tea services
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-04-09 06:30:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Don't get me started on sausages. Raya Dunayevskaya knows all about THAT missy.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-09 06:29:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't 'do' politics, does that surprise you. If I did, I'd be very left wing.
I'd rather talk about what they put in sausages.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-04-09 06:27:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Some damn Tory. Same with that Kevin B. Anderson. Bloody do-gooders.
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2008-04-09 06:27:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-04-09 06:00:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
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that is obviously a rating based on personal enmity because this is a very clever story.
my original ending was going to be "he ain't alive" but that wasn't dark enough.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-09 06:24:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Who in the Hell is Peter Hudis?
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-04-09 06:13:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Peter Hudis is a Tory bastard
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-04-09 06:10:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Peter Hudis is a Tory bastard
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-09 06:09:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What a wonderful, exsiquiste filename.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-04-09 06:00:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-09 05:59:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You can't go to bed, I can't heat alone!!!
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-09 05:58:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Your crib? Bloody Hell, I was about 13 when I got mine :(
I also had a Spit the Dog, Cabbage Patch kid and a teddy.
Sometimes, I wish I was the kind of lady who had a pink fluffy bedroom, a bed and shelves covered with stuffed cuddly toys and beanie babies, and I would have posters of dolphins and unicorns upon the wall and dress in fleeces adorned with wolves or polar bears. But I am not.
I had dreadlock and an undercut by 14, I exchanged my childhood for grunge and The Smiths :(
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2008-04-09 05:55:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
not gonna read it
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2008-04-09 05:53:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i had a gloworm. remember it as far back as my crib days. i miss him.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-09 05:50:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It is a sad fact I own a Carebear. And a 15 year old GloWorm.
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2008-04-09 05:44:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Just say, "we care!"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mGqvVWwom6A
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-09 05:37:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
How do I get this up on most heated? How??? you weirdo.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-04-09 05:24:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Weirdo
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2008-04-09 04:58:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Feeling a little goofy at 5 am. Off to bed.