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The Tale of the Last Vampyre (NSFWish) (1500 hits)

Category: Quotes & Stories -> Poetry
Labels: poetry

Rating: 1.53 on 75 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Labels:

Submitted by Flashphelia (View user info) at 2008-04-10 06:28:47 EDT




I KNEW she'd be a biter....JPG (400 kB)

Submit to Digg Submit to StumbleUpon

User Reviews


Submitted by loveinbrevity (user info) at 2008-07-21 11:03:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by spyder882001 (user info) at 2008-04-13 13:28:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-12 11:17:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

lol.

I hoped you wouldn't see that typo.



Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-04-12 11:07:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

I am NOT on a 12 year old.

I don't do that anymore.




Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-12 10:49:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Really? Who would have thought! This comes as such a shock.

Oh noes, some random dude on the internet doesn't like me! What shall I do?
So you just -2 every post I do as you don't like me... I didn't realise you were on 12 years old.
My bad.


Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-04-12 10:37:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

I have excellent taste.

I just really dislike you.




Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-12 09:32:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

apollo, you have no taste. Go make a cheap ass sports post.

Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-04-12 09:26:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

auto spelling vampire like that -2

it doesn't make them any more 'real' you know, kaos king.




Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2008-04-12 06:27:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-11 13:23:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

This deserves more reviews. I spent ages on my bits :(

---

Giggedy.

I thought it was very good! Rhyming couplets are the way to my heart

Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2008-04-12 05:19:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

I probably should have read this but I have a distinct aversion to Vampire Stories, and blood on boobies.

The pictures made me go all unngnnggeeea ewwwwww plurp.


You are Sacrilicous other bridesmaid.





You're a girly right?


I'm sorry. I should have capitalized Girly.

Submitted by loan_officer (user info) at 2008-04-12 02:35:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

No Comment

Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2008-04-11 17:32:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2



Submitted by Flack (user info) at 2008-04-11 16:36:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Flack can't help but +2 titties.

Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-11 13:23:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

This deserves more reviews. I spent ages on my bits :(

Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-11 12:35:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

I missed you by minutes :(

Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-04-11 10:23:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Because it was about vampires.

Submitted by Glenn. (user info) at 2008-04-11 10:21:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Why did this suck so much?

Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-04-11 09:11:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2008-04-11 03:34:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2008-04-10 13:21:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

I bet werewolves could beat the everloving crap out of vampires.

---------------

...but not vikings. they conquer all.

Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-04-10 14:07:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

You forgot her blue eyeshadow.

Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2008-04-10 13:57:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2


I highly doubt anyone is surprised by my rating...




Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-10 13:42:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2008-04-10 18:21:32 BST (#)
Ranking: 2

I bet werewolves could beat the everloving crap out of vampires.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Werewolves are one of the few things i am really scared of :(

And thanks Lib!

Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2008-04-10 13:21:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

I bet werewolves could beat the everloving crap out of vampires.

Submitted by Lib (user info) at 2008-04-10 13:15:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

rockin' good

Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2008-04-10 12:25:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

huh.

Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-04-10 12:23:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Do any of those at least resemble yours?

Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-10 12:22:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

http://www.ubersite.com/m/59505#1141145 NSFW

None are mine. Not on this website.

Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-04-10 12:19:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

My boobies are nicer than Leonores.
=================
I'd *love* to see you prove it ;O)

Submitted by Socialist_Joe (user info) at 2008-04-10 12:13:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-10 12:11:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Rad doesn't like me. I bring down the tone of Uber with my crap posts and circle jerks and I take it all waaay too seriously.
My boobies are nicer than Leonores.

Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-04-10 12:09:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

What? Rad neutered one of my extremely rare and coveted +2's?

That rat bastard.

Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-10 11:44:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2008-04-10 15:13:49 BST (#)
Ranking: -2

this -2 is for shlongy
----------------
And *I* am all that is wrong with the Uber of today.



Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-04-10 11:03:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

throwing them in the bath and then tying them to the bed
===================
Can I come to stay with you?

Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-10 11:02:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Fuckin' kids. Slould all get home at a decent hour like mine. 6pm - two hours of pretending I like them before throwing them in the bath and then tying them to the bed. Under the stairs.

Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-04-10 11:00:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

*thankfully takes cookies*

Yahoo are mean. So is getting rejected. It's proberbly because they are on over load from all the kids getting home from school.

Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-04-10 10:59:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Thanks FJ. I'll take another punt at it at some point.



Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-10 10:59:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

*passes LM some subway cookies*

Yahoo keeps saying there is a temporary fault and I can't send mail. Why does this keep happening? Are they on to me?

Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-04-10 10:57:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

I remember that post LM, it was brilliant. Write something else for them!

Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-10 10:55:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Warm tea brewed in a teapot?

Hopefully, they will be ignored otherwise your kindness may have negative consequences!!

Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-04-10 10:55:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

:( I just got turned down by yachting weekly. They said they all laughed at my post about the toilet, but it was too strong for them to publish.

I need cookies :(

Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-10 10:54:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Debenhams stock fiorelli and berty bags to name but a few.
Their CCTV is always dodgey. I could always borrow one for you.
I got one more before my third strike.

Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-04-10 10:52:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

You deserve the +2s, dear. It is not fair that your efforts should go unrewarded.

I am drizzling them down upon your uberposts like sprinkles of warm...

...well, I'll let you provide your own metaphor.



Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-04-10 10:52:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

My handbag is stolen :(

Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-10 10:49:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

FJ I will never forgive you for sending my old posts round the MRR! For this, you will dieee!

Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-04-10 10:49:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Well at least my handbags Guuci ;) darlings

Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-04-10 10:48:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Ladies!

PLEASE!!!

Play nice.

Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-04-10 10:44:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Chill out Orphelia, they werent snide.

Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-10 10:42:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

emission, quit making snide comments and then pretending you are joking.

Thanks experima!



Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-04-10 10:40:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-10 15:38:01 BST (#)
Ranking: 2

Are you trying to make some kind of point here, emission?

Do you like this post or was your +2 B@W comment just some kind of sarcasm?
------------------
WTF is the matter with you? LOL

I think you are reading in between, underneath AND above the lines.




Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-04-10 10:40:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

i didn't read the reviews, don't have time.

so this 2 then is for you orphelia. :)

Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-10 10:38:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Are you trying to make some kind of point here, emission?

Do you like this post or was your +2 B@W comment just some kind of sarcasm?

Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-04-10 10:35:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

ok well that would be amusingly awful, hell with you two, you may aswell just make a porno

Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-10 10:31:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

What was I saying earlier, FJ...? :)

Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-04-10 10:30:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

ROWL!! i think you should sing a song together next!

Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-10 10:29:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

I also wrote it experima.

Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-04-10 10:19:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

fj!

ps: why am i not in this

Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2008-04-10 10:17:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

No Comment

Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2008-04-10 10:13:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

this -2 is for shlongy

Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-04-10 10:12:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

I'll throw a +2 out there under the slim chance that I could possibly get an email.

I can't believe I'm doing this. I'm so cheap.

Submitted by GangsterSquid (user info) at 2008-04-10 10:06:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-04-10 09:19:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by lostnphound (user info) at 2008-04-10 08:46:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-04-10 08:32:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

B@W

Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-04-10 08:14:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Fuck it.

Submitted by orph (user info) at 2008-04-10 08:00:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Nice work.

Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-10 07:52:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

I heard that! You'll be asking me to send you my underwear for 'inspiration' next!



Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-04-10 07:49:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Thanks LittleM and Sgt.

It was really just an excuse to get Orphy to send me smut ;)

Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2008-04-10 07:46:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

good collaboration.

im jealous! ;-)

Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-04-10 07:44:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Good effort you two!

I thought this was great. People should do more things together like this. I'm not a huge fan of poetry, but I do make the odd exception.

Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-04-10 06:56:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

Cool, but it's still poetry.

Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-04-10 06:45:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

auto english +2

Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2008-04-10 06:44:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

should have(of) bumped up the quality. it's only 400kb as is.

artifacts make baby beeb cry

Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-04-10 06:35:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

The pleasure was all mine, dear.

Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-10 06:34:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Also, it looks fantastic.

Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-10 06:33:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

+2 for your 'bit', Mr Harry.

Was a pleasure working with you.

Take me back to bed now or lose me forever...


Homer: There couldn't be heaven if there weren't a hell.

Bart: Who's in there?

Homer: Oh, uh ... Hitler's dog. And that dog Nixon had, whassisname, um,
Chester ...

Lisa: Checkers.

Homer: Yeah! One of the Lassies is in there, too. The mean one -- the
one that mauled Jimmy.

Dog of Death