The Tale of the Last Vampyre (NSFWish) (1500 hits)
Category: Quotes & Stories -> PoetryLabels: poetry
Rating: 1.53 on 75 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Flashphelia (View user info) at 2008-04-10 06:28:47 EDT
User Reviews
Submitted by loveinbrevity (user info) at 2008-07-21 11:03:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by spyder882001 (user info) at 2008-04-13 13:28:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-12 11:17:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
lol.
I hoped you wouldn't see that typo.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-04-12 11:07:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I am NOT on a 12 year old.
I don't do that anymore.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-12 10:49:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Really? Who would have thought! This comes as such a shock.
Oh noes, some random dude on the internet doesn't like me! What shall I do?
So you just -2 every post I do as you don't like me... I didn't realise you were on 12 years old.
My bad.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-04-12 10:37:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I have excellent taste.
I just really dislike you.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-12 09:32:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
apollo, you have no taste. Go make a cheap ass sports post.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-04-12 09:26:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
auto spelling vampire like that -2
it doesn't make them any more 'real' you know, kaos king.
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2008-04-12 06:27:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-11 13:23:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This deserves more reviews. I spent ages on my bits :(
---
Giggedy.
I thought it was very good! Rhyming couplets are the way to my heart
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2008-04-12 05:19:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I probably should have read this but I have a distinct aversion to Vampire Stories, and blood on boobies.
The pictures made me go all unngnnggeeea ewwwwww plurp.
You are Sacrilicous other bridesmaid.
You're a girly right?
I'm sorry. I should have capitalized Girly.
Submitted by loan_officer (user info) at 2008-04-12 02:35:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2008-04-11 17:32:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Flack (user info) at 2008-04-11 16:36:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Flack can't help but +2 titties.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-11 13:23:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This deserves more reviews. I spent ages on my bits :(
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-11 12:35:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I missed you by minutes :(
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-04-11 10:23:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Because it was about vampires.
Submitted by Glenn. (user info) at 2008-04-11 10:21:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Why did this suck so much?
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-04-11 09:11:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2008-04-11 03:34:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2008-04-10 13:21:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I bet werewolves could beat the everloving crap out of vampires.
---------------
...but not vikings. they conquer all.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-04-10 14:07:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You forgot her blue eyeshadow.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2008-04-10 13:57:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I highly doubt anyone is surprised by my rating...
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-10 13:42:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
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Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2008-04-10 18:21:32 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
I bet werewolves could beat the everloving crap out of vampires.
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Werewolves are one of the few things i am really scared of :(
And thanks Lib!
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2008-04-10 13:21:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I bet werewolves could beat the everloving crap out of vampires.
Submitted by Lib (user info) at 2008-04-10 13:15:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
rockin' good
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2008-04-10 12:25:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
huh.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-04-10 12:23:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Do any of those at least resemble yours?
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-10 12:22:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/59505#1141145 NSFW
None are mine. Not on this website.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-04-10 12:19:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
My boobies are nicer than Leonores.
=================
I'd *love* to see you prove it ;O)
Submitted by Socialist_Joe (user info) at 2008-04-10 12:13:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-10 12:11:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Rad doesn't like me. I bring down the tone of Uber with my crap posts and circle jerks and I take it all waaay too seriously.
My boobies are nicer than Leonores.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-04-10 12:09:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What? Rad neutered one of my extremely rare and coveted +2's?
That rat bastard.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-10 11:44:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
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Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2008-04-10 15:13:49 BST (#)
Ranking: -2
this -2 is for shlongy
----------------
And *I* am all that is wrong with the Uber of today.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-04-10 11:03:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
throwing them in the bath and then tying them to the bed
===================
Can I come to stay with you?
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-10 11:02:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuckin' kids. Slould all get home at a decent hour like mine. 6pm - two hours of pretending I like them before throwing them in the bath and then tying them to the bed. Under the stairs.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-04-10 11:00:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
*thankfully takes cookies*
Yahoo are mean. So is getting rejected. It's proberbly because they are on over load from all the kids getting home from school.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-04-10 10:59:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Thanks FJ. I'll take another punt at it at some point.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-10 10:59:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
*passes LM some subway cookies*
Yahoo keeps saying there is a temporary fault and I can't send mail. Why does this keep happening? Are they on to me?
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-04-10 10:57:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I remember that post LM, it was brilliant. Write something else for them!
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-10 10:55:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Warm tea brewed in a teapot?
Hopefully, they will be ignored otherwise your kindness may have negative consequences!!
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-04-10 10:55:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
:( I just got turned down by yachting weekly. They said they all laughed at my post about the toilet, but it was too strong for them to publish.
I need cookies :(
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-10 10:54:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Debenhams stock fiorelli and berty bags to name but a few.
Their CCTV is always dodgey. I could always borrow one for you.
I got one more before my third strike.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-04-10 10:52:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You deserve the +2s, dear. It is not fair that your efforts should go unrewarded.
I am drizzling them down upon your uberposts like sprinkles of warm...
...well, I'll let you provide your own metaphor.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-04-10 10:52:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My handbag is stolen :(
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-10 10:49:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
FJ I will never forgive you for sending my old posts round the MRR! For this, you will dieee!
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-04-10 10:49:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well at least my handbags Guuci ;) darlings
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-04-10 10:48:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ladies!
PLEASE!!!
Play nice.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-04-10 10:44:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Chill out Orphelia, they werent snide.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-10 10:42:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
emission, quit making snide comments and then pretending you are joking.
Thanks experima!
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-04-10 10:40:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-10 15:38:01 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
Are you trying to make some kind of point here, emission?
Do you like this post or was your +2 B@W comment just some kind of sarcasm?
------------------
WTF is the matter with you? LOL
I think you are reading in between, underneath AND above the lines.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-04-10 10:40:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i didn't read the reviews, don't have time.
so this 2 then is for you orphelia. :)
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-10 10:38:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Are you trying to make some kind of point here, emission?
Do you like this post or was your +2 B@W comment just some kind of sarcasm?
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-04-10 10:35:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ok well that would be amusingly awful, hell with you two, you may aswell just make a porno
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-10 10:31:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What was I saying earlier, FJ...? :)
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-04-10 10:30:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ROWL!! i think you should sing a song together next!
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-10 10:29:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I also wrote it experima.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-04-10 10:19:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
fj!
ps: why am i not in this
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2008-04-10 10:17:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2008-04-10 10:13:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
this -2 is for shlongy
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-04-10 10:12:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll throw a +2 out there under the slim chance that I could possibly get an email.
I can't believe I'm doing this. I'm so cheap.
Submitted by GangsterSquid (user info) at 2008-04-10 10:06:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-04-10 09:19:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by lostnphound (user info) at 2008-04-10 08:46:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-04-10 08:32:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
B@W
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-04-10 08:14:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck it.
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2008-04-10 08:00:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice work.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-10 07:52:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I heard that! You'll be asking me to send you my underwear for 'inspiration' next!
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-04-10 07:49:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks LittleM and Sgt.
It was really just an excuse to get Orphy to send me smut ;)
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2008-04-10 07:46:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
good collaboration.
im jealous! ;-)
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-04-10 07:44:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good effort you two!
I thought this was great. People should do more things together like this. I'm not a huge fan of poetry, but I do make the odd exception.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-04-10 06:56:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Cool, but it's still poetry.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-04-10 06:45:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
auto english +2
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2008-04-10 06:44:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
should have(of) bumped up the quality. it's only 400kb as is.
artifacts make baby beeb cry
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-04-10 06:35:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The pleasure was all mine, dear.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-10 06:34:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Also, it looks fantastic.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-10 06:33:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for your 'bit', Mr Harry.
Was a pleasure working with you.
Take me back to bed now or lose me forever...