One step away from the fucking bubble (1127 hits)
Category: Politics -> IraqRating: 1.47 on 66 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by mud (View user info) at 2008-04-10 09:36:06 EDT
http://uk.gizmodo.com/2008/04/08/thudguard_helmet_for_bouncing.html
Too lazy to read? Fine, I'll summarize for you.
A Scottish (strike 1) mother of 3 has developed a brainbucket....strike that....helmet for children ranging from the ages of 7months to 2 years. This fantastic little product, without which it is surprising we're all not retarded, is a soft little helmet called "ThudGuard" that protects babies head when falling down.
Well now I've fucking seen it all, the Pussification of Youth has reached an all time high. I mean I thought it was bad when I saw the kid leashes but this takes the cake. I mean heaven forbid a child fall and bump their head.
You know....there is something to be said for Natural Consequence and allowing your children to learn the hard way. Don't get me wrong, I love and want to protect my sprats to the fucking best of my ability but sometimes you have to let them fall.
If they never fall how will they ever learn to get back up?
User Reviews
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-06-18 12:04:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
YOU'RE NOT DEEP, SO QUIT TRYING PUDDLE
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2008-04-12 05:16:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-04-11 03:58:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
PLURP.
======================
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Oh Shit.
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Submitted by loan_officer (user info) at 2008-04-12 02:35:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Val (user info) at 2008-04-12 00:35:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
when they took away tag at recess i knew it was over. pussification of america is damn right.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2008-04-11 17:31:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2008-04-11 17:31:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-04-11 09:11:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-04-11 03:58:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
PLURP.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-04-11 03:39:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2008-04-10 19:06:28 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
Is that an actual picture of the mentioned item? Does it really have lil' ears on top?
Does it come with variations on the ears?
I can so easily see Emission wearing one that sported lil' felt antlers...
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When I was at college a few years ago, one of the dinner ladies (Teen or Treen), as a Christmas present gave me a thong.
The pouch was a reindeers face complete with antlers and if you touched my crotch, his nose lit up red.
Submitted by MyTeeOne (user info) at 2008-04-10 18:46:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO.
Like the use of the word Pussification. About the time they took dodge ball away in schools, my friend started a blog (before blogs existed really) called "The Pussification of America." I'll have to check and see if it's still up. You, sir, might enjoy it.
Submitted by MrsKitty (user info) at 2008-04-10 16:57:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like that last line... about the falling. Makes me feel all warm and philosophical.
Submitted by Creepy_guy (user info) at 2008-04-10 16:09:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I love hearing about this sort of shit. Its on the same level with people who want swing sets and merry-go-rounds removed from playgrounds. I remember being a little kid and getting hurt while playing or just running around a few times, but thats part of being a kid. People who don't get that can fuck right off, I say.
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2008-04-10 15:35:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Great, she invented a thick beenie hat.
Submitted by Hookhand (user info) at 2008-04-10 15:13:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If a kid would die from normal play and being a little scamp, I don't want them in my gene pool.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-04-10 15:03:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2008-04-10 13:24:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
...
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that size thing doesn't matter so much when your drunk uncle tosses you into the ceiling...
that pretty much ended drunk tossing of my brothers ankle biter.
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I'm occasionally a drunk uncle and I say fuck ceilings; drunk uncles get what they want 'cos they earn it.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2008-04-10 14:06:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Is that an actual picture of the mentioned item? Does it really have lil' ears on top?
Does it come with variations on the ears?
I can so easily see Emission wearing one that sported lil' felt antlers...
Submitted by JustAnotherStudent (user info) at 2008-04-10 13:47:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dear god.
My son is learning how to walk. He falls down constantly. And he's perfectly fine.
He falls, he frowns for a second, then something shiny catches his attention and he crawls his happy ass to the toy. Crisis over.
Screw helmets. I didn't use one when riding a bike, why the hell should the kids need them for walking?
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2008-04-10 13:24:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-04-10 11:42:30 CDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Adults have collectively forgotten physics when it comes to these pussified kids. When you are a kid you don't carry or have to safely dissipate nearly the amount of energy an adult does when you fall over. Double the mass - double the energy. Double the fall height - quadruple the energy. So a 50 pound, three foot kid falling over while walking strikes the ground with about 1/16th of the energy a 6-foot 200 pound adult does. It's dissipated over the same time and distance, though, do the force on an adult eill be 16 times freater than that on the kid. And of course, the acceleration (which is actually what causes most brain injuries) is four times greater on the adult than on the kid...
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that size thing doesn't matter so much when your drunk uncle tosses you into the ceiling...
that pretty much ended drunk tossing of my brothers ankle biter.
Submitted by Lib (user info) at 2008-04-10 13:16:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Agree
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-04-10 13:00:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I've just realised that it's more likely Americans will buy this than Brits. HOORAY!
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-04-10 12:58:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-04-10 11:42:30 CDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Adults have collectively forgotten physics when it comes to these pussified kids. When you are a kid you don't carry or have to safely dissipate nearly the amount of energy an adult does when you fall over. Double the mass - double the energy. Double the fall height - quadruple the energy. So a 50 pound, three foot kid falling over while walking strikes the ground with about 1/16th of the energy a 6-foot 200 pound adult does. It's dissipated over the same time and distance, though, do the force on an adult eill be 16 times freater than that on the kid. And of course, the acceleration (which is actually what causes most brain injuries) is four times greater on the adult than on the kid...
Fuck, how 'bout that.
*steals nephew's bicycle helmet*
=====
I thought that was just common sense. Apparently not with parents shitting themselves everytime their toddler falls down.
Hell, last winter I slipped on some ice and fell on my ass. It hurt like hell when it happened. No too long after I saw a four year old bite it. At first he sat up and looked around sheepishly, but didn't cry. It was here that his mother ran over, scooped him up, and clutched him close saying things like "oooooh my poor poor baby! Is momma's baby hurt? Is momma's baby ok?"
Naturally, the kid then began to squall like the world was coming to an end. So the mother stopped and proceeded to examine her son for life altering injuries and kissing boo boos. He's still squalling.
Christ.
Little kids bounce. No harm done.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2008-04-10 12:54:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-04-10 12:42:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Adults have collectively forgotten physics when it comes to these pussified kids. When you are a kid you don't carry or have to safely dissipate nearly the amount of energy an adult does when you fall over. Double the mass - double the energy. Double the fall height - quadruple the energy. So a 50 pound, three foot kid falling over while walking strikes the ground with about 1/16th of the energy a 6-foot 200 pound adult does. It's dissipated over the same time and distance, though, do the force on an adult eill be 16 times freater than that on the kid. And of course, the acceleration (which is actually what causes most brain injuries) is four times greater on the adult than on the kid...
Fuck, how 'bout that.
*steals nephew's bicycle helmet*
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2008-04-10 11:56:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-04-10 11:27:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The government watching you/being empowered.
It wasn't a great analogy though and I explained it very poorly. Sorry. I'm feeling lazy.
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I thought that was a jab at me for saying UAV's were no different than helicopters.
I know a girl who put a chip in her dog because people were kidnapping little muts (not really, but it was in the ad for the chip) and witht he chip the vet would read it to make sure it was your dog.
Thing is the chip readers aren't some feature you can pull up on google earth, you need to have the vet scan a specific area (and actually posses a chip reader).
In a round about way I am saying a chip is useless because the technology isn't there. Even if it was though how bad a parent do you have to be to lose your kid (I doubt many kids are kidnapped, and even if they are tossing them in a van will block the signal)?
Submitted by wookie (user info) at 2008-04-10 11:46:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
At least that's the streamlined version... I remember seeing one in a catalog about a year ago that looked like the fucking Gary Busey Helmet Protector Protector.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-04-10 11:35:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
agree in totality.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-04-10 11:30:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ok I understand lazy.
to me its more about the physical side of it...I don't want the thing in my body. Also this is a tracking device essentially. Sure the will be rules about only using it with the consent of the parent to find a missing child but then...10 years down the road the rules will be different and this is how they'll let you buy groceries and the in 30 years they'll just track your every movement.
A helicopter has to find you first, a GPS type chip starts off knowing where you are
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-04-10 11:27:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The government watching you/being empowered.
It wasn't a great analogy though and I explained it very poorly. Sorry. I'm feeling lazy.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-04-10 11:19:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-04-10 11:14:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-04-10 11:09:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by jigglypuff (user info) at 2008-04-10 10:47:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I was watching something the other day, and it is now possible to have your kids microchipped!
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it'll be a cold day in hell when I, or my children (young enough to be under my care or roof), have a microchip placed in them
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What's the big resistance to that? It is like saying you do not want the police to have helicopters.
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I understand that 'random' is your shtick but I don't see the relationship or how one is at all like the other
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-04-10 11:14:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-04-10 11:09:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by jigglypuff (user info) at 2008-04-10 10:47:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I was watching something the other day, and it is now possible to have your kids microchipped!
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it'll be a cold day in hell when I, or my children (young enough to be under my care or roof), have a microchip placed in them
-----------------------------------
What's the big resistance to that? It is like saying you do not want the police to have helicopters.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-04-10 11:09:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by jigglypuff (user info) at 2008-04-10 10:47:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I was watching something the other day, and it is now possible to have your kids microchipped!
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it'll be a cold day in hell when I, or my children (young enough to be under my care or roof), have a microchip placed in them
Submitted by Rhymenocerous (user info) at 2008-04-10 10:54:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Scottish Soccer Hooligans was a sweet skit on SNL, back in the good ol' days when the show was funny.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-04-10 10:48:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Half Scottish, half hooligan.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-04-10 10:47:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-04-10 10:15:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-04-10 15:06:33 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hurty isnt even Scottish!
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At least I'm not English.
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Are you... are you mixed-race?
Submitted by jigglypuff (user info) at 2008-04-10 10:47:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I was watching something the other day, and it is now possible to have your kids microchipped!
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-04-10 10:46:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ahhh i want to play my Sega Megastation now!
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2008-04-10 10:45:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
True that. My daughter has bumps and bruises all over her legs from running and falling down in the yard. Shit, she even cracked her head on my coffee table when she jumped off my couch. She never tried it again either. Lesson learned.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-04-10 10:44:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Knuckles > Sonic < Tails
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-04-10 10:42:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
sorry knuckles.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-04-10 10:35:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You, Sonic.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-04-10 10:34:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
who you talking too?
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-04-10 10:32:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
There's nothing I can do about the way my eyes point, you could do something about your terrible haircut, however.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-04-10 10:27:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
bonkeyed maybe?
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-04-10 10:22:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I wouldn't, twinkly eyed cunts. Scottish FTW. Or FTL, depending on how you look at it.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-04-10 10:18:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Id rather be Irish.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-04-10 10:15:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-04-10 15:06:33 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hurty isnt even Scottish!
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At least I'm not English.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-04-10 10:09:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hell, I'm too lazy to even read your summary.
Submitted by GangsterSquid (user info) at 2008-04-10 10:07:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
A Scottish (strike 1)
__________________
AHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-04-10 10:06:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hurty isnt even Scottish!
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-04-10 10:02:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-04-10 09:59:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
They do. And we're notoriously tough and battle ready. This is terrible.
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read: ignorant of danger and poorly equipped by their leaders; the English.
Submitted by lostnphound (user info) at 2008-04-10 10:01:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-04-10 10:01:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Indeed.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2008-04-10 09:59:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Wow, that's really insane.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-04-10 09:59:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
They do. And we're notoriously tough and battle ready. This is terrible.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-04-10 09:58:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hurty, I thought Scotts had notoriously hard heads?
Maybe it was 'thick'.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-04-10 09:56:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You and your 'pussification of youth'. It is a bit ridiculously over-protective though.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-04-10 09:55:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm so ashamed.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-04-10 09:54:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Helmet is a sweet band
and Helmut is a sweet name, if my next kid is boy i might name him Helmut and then all of his online screennames can be HellMutt
maybe I'll name him HellMutt
my buddies kid's name is Gunnar
Submitted by Rhymenocerous (user info) at 2008-04-10 09:52:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
We're slowly evolving into a generation of pussies.
"If they never fall how will they ever learn to get back up?" Amen, brother.
Also, Helmet is a sweet band...even before they were on Guitar Hero 1.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-04-10 09:48:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-04-10 09:47:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I've yet to spawn another from my seed, so I don't care.
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scary thought, that
Submitted by Darth_Famine (user info) at 2008-04-10 09:48:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Where is Bart, anyway? His dinner's getting all cold and eaten.
-- Homer Simpson
Bart After Dark
whats a helmet? why didn't they have this wondorous device when I was a child?!?!?!?!?!
Oh wait they did, and as I recall you only needed one to play sports or work construction.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-04-10 09:47:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I've yet to spawn another from my seed, so I don't care.
Sun-pouring-in-through-the-office-window-and-cooking-my-back +2
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-04-10 09:47:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-04-10 09:46:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
my cousin Nicky had an equilibrium problem and spent his first two years using his mellon to test the hardness of every surface in his house until he was diagnosed....he turned out ok....or maybe that's why he's gay....I dunno.
my youngest was falling a lot, come to find out her shoes were 2 sizes too small.
I already know how to be an unaware parent, I don't need my kids wearing helmet so everyone else knows it.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-10 09:43:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You wouldn't believe the amount of times I have dropped my kids on their head and they are fine.
Hey, the youngest ones hobby is sitting under the table and standing up real tall, real quick.
I could use one though.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-04-10 09:38:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
2+ for catagory