Ltap you are a faggot... (313 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -1.25 on 20 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by ? (View user info) at 2008-04-10 21:43:14 EDT
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-04-10 21:16:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 because that is exactly what perkman is - he thinks that he is awesome. Now I know that I'm pathetic and I accept it. He's pathetic but won't admit it, the moron.
Hey Ltap you fucking tool let me tell you why I'm awesome. I don't lie about bullshit I write on here. I write about my life experiences.
Yeah, I'm that guy in the group with those guys. Oh, you know who the guys are LTAP we are the guys you wish you were. You can find us at the local bar drinking beers, find us dancing with girls, giving high fives, fucking running around boozing and yelling, I'm one of those types of people. I know you're such a jealous insignificant fuck that it hurts you.
You all have to believe I'm an alter huh? What people don't go to college? People don't get drunk and get in bar fights? What a baseball player can't take honors classes? I guess I must have a fucking sweet life when I write about it and people claim I'm embellishing or lying about it.
Sorry, this is my life. I know it offends a loser like, you who sits on his laptop wishing he had friends, and going on uber to try and cuss me out or some other worthless crap. I write about my life. I live in So-cal, I know it's hard to believe buddy but me and my friends fucking bitches. I know you can't fathom someone actually touching a female but hey it happens.
I know you're a virgin little shit. You know you're pathetic. I know you're pathetic LTAP. You even admitted how much of a fucking loser you are. I admit it you are a faggot. You're a fucking cuntdesk.
You're just a pathetic fuck. I live my life and I like the friends I have, the parties I throw, the times I have been in the drunk tank, fucking girls, going to college, drinking on the beach, and hitting my friends in the nuts, or drawing on their faces, or else just fucking around in drunken debauchery. I love this life of mine. I like writing about it and I like the way I live.
You are a pathetic virgin, with cum stains on you're boxers and blisters on you're hands from you're usurious use of beating you're cock when you watch the "girls next door" and wish you could get with any of those girls in you're fabricated view of the decadence, and pain that is you're shitty life.
I'm just better than you. So when you see a guy like me with a polo shirt on, backwards hat, Abercrombie shorts ( I love those) flip flops, sunglass and a backwards college hat I know you will sigh and get jealous.
You will say shit like.
"You get whatever you want, god I wish I could do what you do perkman, I wish I could talk to girls, I wish this and that crap" because that is what you are.
So keep giving me -2's you fucking dolt. I don't care I write for the people who are fucking I guess normal and have a normal life. I write for those who like my "crap". So fuck you loser.
You're a loser in every sense of essence of the conception of the world's entry into the common knowledge of man.
You're life is pathetic. My life is something I like to live.
Who would have thought drinking beers and getting with chicks would make so many fat pasty virgins jealous? Well fuck it.
Blow me up uber!!
User Reviews
Submitted by HateMudkips (user info) at 2008-04-10 23:14:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Perkman's dream: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PSvTdYUwWyE
Submitted by PerkMan (user info) at 2008-04-10 22:24:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
As long as everyone knows you're a virgin LTAP I will take this hit.
you fucking virgin.
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-04-10 22:22:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I give up.
You realize that with this you've probably lowered the respect for you from the general Uberer to even lower than they have for me?
Submitted by PerkMan (user info) at 2008-04-10 22:20:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You sir are a Liar! Look! Look!
Look at that pathetic virgin LTAP!
God you're such a faggot.
Go beat off to fucking the fat girls you fantasize about fucking you pathetic virgin.
Submitted by Linus (user info) at 2008-04-10 22:20:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'M A BIG FAGGOTY VIRGIN GUYS
Apparently, that's a big deal around here.
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-04-10 22:17:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
The fact that, out of the (admittedly very small) arsenal of insults PerkMan has to direct at me, none apply (admittedly I didn't read too carefully) makes me think that I might be on to something, such as the perfect life. Or maybe he's just stupid.
For the record: I know how to and DO talk to women, and I am by no means a virgin. Something makes me think that you yourself don't know how to talk to women and enjoy watching "Keys to the VIP", and are projecting onto me.
Submitted by PerkMan (user info) at 2008-04-10 22:17:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ilikesteak- blow me.
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2008-04-10 22:16:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You're a jerk, Dent; a complete arsehole.
Submitted by jojo747 (user info) at 2008-04-10 22:16:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This is an interesting piece, clearly from his "my life rules" series. Usually these pieces are followed up by several from his more prolific "my life sucks" series. Either way consistency is the name of Perkman's game and I think this work ranks with anything else he has produced.
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2008-04-10 22:15:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Now you should call him a "poopface" or throw a rock at his head from the bushes.
Maybe you should tell on him.
Call the army and say "Hi, I'm Ltap, and I'm signing up. pick me up at seven, because I'm in the army." That'll totally work.
Ohh, even better. Give him a blowjob. That'll make him love you, so then you can put things on his face while the two of you are spooning and he falls asleep.
You fucking winner you.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2008-04-10 22:14:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The punctuation prompts William Shatner to play Ricky Roma in my head:
"You stupid fucking, cunt. You, Williamson, I'm talking to you, shithead. You just cost me, $6,000. Six thousand dollars and one, Cadillac. That's, right. What are you going to do about, it? What are you going to do about, it, asshole? You're fucking, shit. Where did you learn your, trade, you stupid fucking cunt, you, idiot? Who ever told you that you could work with, men? Oh, I'm gonna have your job, shithead."
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-04-10 22:13:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2008-04-10 22:08:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
lol
U JUST JELUS LTAP
ACCEPT IT
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Submitted by PerkMan (user info) at 2008-04-10 22:11:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
listen to Ballare she's right about you Ltap.
We all know you have blistered hands from beating your cock you fucking faggot!
--------------------------------
Above is proof that PerkMan is took stupid to understand sarcasm.
Submitted by PerkMan (user info) at 2008-04-10 22:11:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
listen to Ballare she's right about you Ltap.
We all know you have blistered hands from beating your cock you fucking faggot!
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2008-04-10 22:08:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
lol
U JUST JELUS LTAP
ACCEPT IT
Submitted by PerkMan (user info) at 2008-04-10 22:07:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
PerkMan's life plan:
20s - drugs, alcohol, fails at college but manages to scrape through with some business courses. Goes into business.
30s - drugs, alcohol, marries a slut, fails at job. Has kids with wife.
40s - because of his high opinion of himself and his belligerence (which is mistaken for enthusiasm) he gets promoted to middle management. Has kids with wife. Divorces wife, gets new one.
50s - because of the stress of the divorce and the stress at work he goes back to drugs and alcohol. His new wife doesn't satisfy him, so he cheats on her.
60s - finally retires and is filthy rich. Promptly wastes large amounts on fast cars and big houses. Dotes on his grandkids, who think he is a moron. Pays large amounts out on medical bills for heart bypasses and to fix his ulcers.
70s - dies. Wife hates him for cheating on her, children hate him for not being "there for them", grandkids barely know him, and is friendless because of his arrogance. Because of medical bills and paying off the mothers of the illegitimate children he fathered, ends up penniless and a total loss.
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That was a sick life plan. Yes, I don't think I'm going to be great. In all honesty I don't much care for money or those types of things. I literally always give money away or else spend on all my buddies. I don't cheat on girlfriends nope, not ever. Just isn't me. I am a bit of a dick and I do have a lot of arrogance. But I don't really give a fuck about it though. I just like to chill get good grades, drink with my buddies, pull pranks and really just fuck around.
But everything else was spot on. Oh, yeah I don't do drugs. I smoked pot a couple of times and it isn't really for me. So bleh, go on with you're crap though. You pathetic VIRGIN! Hah!
Submitted by Linus (user info) at 2008-04-10 22:06:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't know how you both managed to piss me off.
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-04-10 22:04:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Also, nice punctuation you, retard. I really hate, you. Please die you, moron.
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-04-10 22:03:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I will address this bit by bit:
What people don't go to college?
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No, morons go to college. I go to university, fucktard.
I know it offends a loser like, you who sits on his laptop wishing he had friends
---------------------
I have a desktop PC. Laptops are the work of the devil with their stupid unmanageable touchpads.
flip flops
-----------------
Flip flops are for idiots, little kids, and women. Only a moron like you would think that he looks good wearing them.
I wish I could talk to girls
----------------
I've never had any problem talking to women.
Who would have thought drinking beers and getting with chicks would make so many fat pasty virgins jealous?
----------------------
There's a hell of a flying fuck that I don't give about what you do with the life you deem is so great, I -2 you because you're a moron. You think that you're special because your mommy said you were, and you think you'll be great. Well here's news buddy - everybody drinks beer and EVERYBODY gets laid at some point in their life unless they are homos who haven't come out of the closet. This is the thing about the internet - no successful people visit sites and make bloggish posts like this, because successful people don't have the time to and don't feel the need to lap up the "praise" of other people. If your life is so great, why are you posting shit on uber instead of living it?
The thing you would realize if you weren't a total moron is that you don't need to do anything in particular to live life or be successful or great, all you need to do is be.
PerkMan's life plan:
20s - drugs, alcohol, fails at college but manages to scrape through with some business courses. Goes into business.
30s - drugs, alcohol, marries a slut, fails at job. Has kids with wife.
40s - because of his high opinion of himself and his belligerence (which is mistaken for enthusiasm) he gets promoted to middle management. Has kids with wife. Divorces wife, gets new one.
50s - because of the stress of the divorce and the stress at work he goes back to drugs and alcohol. His new wife doesn't satisfy him, so he cheats on her.
60s - finally retires and is filthy rich. Promptly wastes large amounts on fast cars and big houses. Dotes on his grandkids, who think he is a moron. Pays large amounts out on medical bills for heart bypasses and to fix his ulcers.
70s - dies. Wife hates him for cheating on her, children hate him for not being "there for them", grandkids barely know him, and is friendless because of his arrogance. Because of medical bills and paying off the mothers of the illegitimate children he fathered, ends up penniless and a total loss.
I was going to go into more detail but who cares, fuck this. I've already wasted 10+ minutes of my life on you and I'd like them back. Unlike you, I think quality of life comes internally, not based on wealth or social life. I have social life, although admittedly I don't have wealth, but I don't doubt that I am a much happier person than you.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-04-10 22:00:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Just as awesome as usual.
Submitted by PerkMan (user info) at 2008-04-10 21:46:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ALTER! ALTER! Perkman you fucking loser you're a god damn liar. You don't have sex. Who does that?