JUST so you know (1023 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 0.59 on 37 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Val (View user info) at 2008-04-12 00:10:10 EDT
I'm supposed to be in New York right now. But American Airlines had to go and cancel all their flights so all those poor shmucks went and took MY Continental standby tickets. Fucking bastards. Now I'm stuck in South Carolina drinking shitty wine by myself in my pajamas like a shmuck.
On a side note, never EVER drink Beringer anything. Their Pinot Grigio tastes like the back of a ballsack.
Does anyone here own a private jet besides Jewtoast?
Dick skin condoms DO exist, by the way.
User Reviews
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2008-04-12 17:25:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
=(
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2008-04-12 15:56:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I fucking HATE condoms. Luckily though, and in a twist of unusually good fortune, I also don't get any sex.
At all.
How sweet is that?!
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-04-12 14:04:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
gays below
Submitted by Val (user info) at 2008-04-12 12:18:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
i'm never drinking shitty white wine again. my head is killing me.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-04-12 08:11:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well, the back of my ballsac actually tastes like a Bogle chardonnay, OR SO I'VE BEEN TOLD but perhaps, your palate is a bit different. WE'LL HAVE TO DO A TASTE TEST.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-04-12 07:55:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-12 12:48:18 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
I have heard hurty, his voice was deeper than I expected, I am not sure what that means.
silly Red, you said 'her' when referring to Hurty's partner. Everyone knows Graham is a man.
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He puts that voice on. Graham has a mangina.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-12 07:48:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Wait, Graham has bonkeyes too?
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-12 07:48:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I have heard hurty, his voice was deeper than I expected, I am not sure what that means.
silly Red, you said 'her' when referrinf to hurtys partner. Everyone knows Graham is a man.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-04-12 07:43:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I did buy the bonkeyed fuck a drink though.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-04-12 07:43:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-12 12:39:54 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
I heard hurty was away this weekend with his Life Partner, gone to some gay, vegetarian hippy retreat in the country.
Unless he just said that to stop my emails.
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I think I horribly offended his significant other. I'm not sure how. I think I just didn't pay any attention to her and spent my time asking Hurty why his accent was so variable.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-12 07:41:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Good luck at the gay bar Darko. No need for you to work on 'fitting in' there.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-12 07:39:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I heard hurty was away this weekend with his Life Partner, gone to some gay, vegetarian hippy retreat in the country.
Unless he just said that to stop my emails.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-04-12 07:37:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
that comment was directed to Darko AND Ophelia
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-04-12 07:36:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You're lucky Hurty isn't awake then because he'd be frotting on your leg by now
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-12 07:36:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Actually, I smell like old, wet dog today red.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2008-04-12 07:35:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
That's just me, was out at the gay bar last night.
Just kidding, it was changed to tonight instead. I'm excited!
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-04-12 07:35:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Better than spam or crab paste Ophelia
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-12 07:34:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
This post, or it's reviews, smell of gay.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2008-04-12 07:24:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I wish pen_name was in my bed *sigh*
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2008-04-12 06:52:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fink!
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2008-04-12 06:49:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm in Snark's bed. He isn't here.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2008-04-12 06:32:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I am in bed.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2008-04-12 06:29:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
fuck going to bed
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2008-04-12 06:26:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2008-04-12 06:04:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You think you got it bad. I'm supposed to be drunk and on TV. So far I'm just drunk and invisible.
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dude. go to bed.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2008-04-12 06:04:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You think you got it bad. I'm supposed to be drunk and on TV. So far I'm just drunk and invisible.
Submitted by Quint (user info) at 2008-04-12 05:17:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The last time Method's Mom was in a hotel in South Carolina, there was a line up of USC Gamecocks basketball players outside her room. Brought new meaning to the term "lay up".
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-04-12 04:10:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Val (user info) at 2008-04-12 00:14:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
its lifestyles brand i think. they're called "skyn."
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I just visited their website and saw this:
'SEXY FACT #3 A little over 33 minutes is the average length of the average sex session, including foreplay.'
33 minutes? Christ, I was able to squeeze dinner, foreplay, and the big bang into that 33 minute window. No wonder I got dumped.
Submitted by loan_officer (user info) at 2008-04-12 02:23:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by SPECIALk (user info) at 2008-04-12 01:22:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I have a flight with northwest in may..they better not cancel my shit
Submitted by jasumthin (user info) at 2008-04-12 01:05:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Tragedies are great reads when done well and the tragedy is not happening to me presently
Submitted by Nietzsche (user info) at 2008-04-12 00:55:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Whooha, bad night
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-04-12 00:33:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ok
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-04-12 00:26:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
That doesn't really answer the question. Where does the company get the dick skin to make the condoms? Are they made out of discarded foreskins, or what?
Submitted by Val (user info) at 2008-04-12 00:14:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
its lifestyles brand i think. they're called "skyn." i had a picture but i can't even fathom the energy it would take to upload. woe is me?
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-04-12 00:12:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
And where do they get the skin for those condoms?
Submitted by antluvdog (user info) at 2008-04-12 00:12:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Where the fuck have YOU been?
Submitted by Val (user info) at 2008-04-12 00:11:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i wish i was sober enough to attach the picture. goddamn it.