Darkness On the Soul (436 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.66 on 23 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Axolotl (View user info) at 2008-04-14 10:28:45 EDT
Fiction.
The videotape showed the entrance to the school lobby, students walking in slowly and a few giving curt attention to the person holding the camera. The light shone in a scattered fractious way, distorted by the morning sun through the doors. A timestamp stated it was 07:51:23 April 28 2008. I sat on the bench observing my friends from the school walk by the lens of the camera, and Will DeRiso, the cameraman, saying some unimportant monologue.
And I saw myself. On that day I was walking in with my friend CJ; I looked skinny next to his beefy musculature. I heard my own voice on the tape, my voice from months ago—it sounded strange and oddly deep. I looked into the camera and said, "Multimedia project, Will?"
"Yeah," came Will DeRiso's voice from the tape. Mr. Borelli, our dean of discipline, walked into the frame. The shots came quickly like a row of firecrackers and I fell out of view of the camera. CJ's head jerked and he hit the ground, and the camera swung wildly in the direction of the gunshots. The camera focused for a moment on Jerry Sobeck holding a black pistol in his hands outstretched, his partner in crime slightly out of view behind him.
The camera stuttered in and out of focus, and swung rapidly to me and CJ lying on the floor. CJ's handsome face was blasted and torn, and I lay twitching holding my abdomen, a low moan escaping my lips. Mr. Borelli used a bloody hand to prop himself up, and as DeRiso moved his camera away, Borelli screamed. The camera focused on the two shooters—
The Prosecutor paused the tape and shone a laser pointer at Jerry Sobeck's face. It was emotionless, coldly looking out at the carnage he was causing. The packed courtroom was silent as a churchmouse as the Prosecutor said:
"On this face there are no feelings. Inside this soul there is no love, no emotion, no compassion, no mercy. These are the facts, ladies and gentlemen: we have indisputable proof that on April 28, 2008, Jerome C. Sobeck and Paul R. MacNeely murdered thirteen of their classmates at St. John's High School, and left twenty-four crippled. "
I looked around me in the courtroom. Most of my classmates and their parents were there. The amount of press was huge. Next to me was my dad, his face gritted and cold, and my mother, looking vengeful. On my stomach was a scar from my groin to my right nipple, from that day nearly a year ago.
At the front of the courtroom Paul and Jerry sat with their lawyers. I never spoke to them in high school. They were pudgy, unfriendly, aloof—without friends, so to say. They never spoke in class, except between the two of them, and the others of the small collection of outcasts. They had never been noticed for four years; now the eyes of America were on them. Their icy and remorseless faces had been played on the evening news since last April.
"The facts of the case are thus:"
"On the morning of April 28, 2008, Sobeck and MacNeely arrived at school armed with shotguns and pistols. They proceeded to murder two students and wound three in the parking lot in front of the door, and proceeding through the school murdered their classmates and teachers. In one of the most heinous acts of this rampage, Jerry Sobeck entered his 1st-period English class and opened fire, seriously wounding six and killing three. Surrounded by policemen from the State and County levels, with the SWAT team on the way, Sobeck surrendered his weapons shortly after this mass slaughter. MacNeely continued on to commit the final murder of Richard Perisic in front of his girlfriend, Courtney Leland. At this point, both Sobeck and MacNeely surrendered to the police."
"In total, Sobeck murdered seven, and is being tried as an adult on seven counts of murder in the first degree, as well as fifteen counts of attempted murder, conspiracy to commit murder, unlawful possession of firearms. His partner, MacNeely, has been charged with six counts of murder in the first degree, nine counts of attempted murder, et cetera."
"The prosecution intends to prove beyond reasonable doubt that these two boys not only committed this enormous crime, but did it with full knowledge and premeditation, and with the capacity to understand right from wrong. Insanity should not be confused with evil, and a darkness on the soul."
I would be called as a witness to testify on the stand. I couldn't wait for my moment to condemn these two merciless little fucks who deprived thirteen people of life, and twenty-four people of a full night's sleep ever again. The screams still haunt my mind. I see my friends in coffins, staggering around a mental ward with their brains shot out. I couldn't feel an ounce of pity for these two of my former classmates, and I only wished that they would be greeted with cries of hate.
*****
Seven years earlier
Ridgewood, New Jersey
*****
"You fucking suck, Paul," Goran said to Paul MacNeely, not even throwing a playful-or-otherwise punch. Paul would have preferred it that way. Goran went over to Luke and Ricky who were changing by the lockers further away.
"How are you even on this team?" Goran continued. "Can't you go kill yourself so your mom doesn't make you go to practice anymore?"
His friends laughed hysterically. "His mom's a fucking whore, I saw her," Goran added. "She leaned over and showed me her pussy lips, and then I fucked her. You must have missed it, Paul." Goran was a lanky twelve-year-old with a body suited for basketball. He had come to America when he was eight, but still had more friends than Paul did, who had lived in Ridgewood all his life. Goran's best friend Ricky Perisic said something to him in a low voice and they both laughed, their braces glittering in the fluorescent light of the locker room.
Paul pulled off his gym shorts, ignoring the others. A few more players from his team came into the locker room, congregating by where Goran and Ricky were. Luke McCarthy, whose voice was already changing , said "I'm hittin' up the showers, none of you fags follow me in." As he walked by, Ricky slapped his naked back, and they all laughed at the echoing clap, including Luke. Another player, Liam Colcannon walked into the shower after him.
Paul stared down at his penis, languid as a flower floating in a pond, and bunched his towel up in front so none of the others would see it. Ricky Perisic, the tallest of all of them, craned his head up to inspect Paul's doughy body and snorted in contempt. Paul walked into the shower room and threw the towel up onto the rack. He furtively glanced at Luke, and then at Liam, who had thick calves; they were both almost fully developed.
"Bro, take your mini-dick out of here!" Luke said. "And quit looking at my dick, you freaking gaylord."
Paralyzed by nerves and panicking, Paul clenched his towel, staring at Luke for a little too long. Luke turned red, starting to walk toward Paul with his fists out. Paul stumbled and backed away, leaving the locker room, but Luke caught up with him, and in full view of everyone backhanded him across the face. Paul dropped his towel in shock, and as Luke furiously walked away, Ricky and Goran burst out laughing at the faggot with the small penis. Paul cried into his pillow later that night.
*****
Present day
Bergen County Court House
*****
The prosecutor was wrapping up now. I looked at my friend CJ, a few rows behind me. The side of his face was scarred; it was a miracle he was alive though.
"These boys," the Prosecutor was concluding. "Have betrayed their school, and their friends. What sort of boy can go to school with his peers for four years, develop bonds, spend eight hours a day with them—and then one day wake up and think, 'Today, I think I'll go to school with a gun and take a few out.'"
Up at the defense table, Paul started shaking his head. I don't know if anyone else noticed it; it was subtle. A cold trickle seemed to enter my heart. I thought back in a heartbeat to the Paul I once saw every day in school.
I thought back to the beginning of my senior year.
to be continued
User Reviews
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2008-04-15 17:56:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-04-15 11:40:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-04-15 04:28:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Didn't read it.
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2008-04-14 22:02:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Homer: This place is depressing.
Grampa: Hey! I live here.
Homer: Oh, well, I'm sure it's a blast once you get used to it.
-- Homer Simpson
Bart vs. Thanksgiving
Submitted by MrsKitty (user info) at 2008-04-14 16:14:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2008-04-14 15:01:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2008-04-14 14:59:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HELLO MCFLY I SAID "MUSICAL OR INTERPRETIVE DANCE" DID I NOT???! AN INTERPRETIVE DANCE INTERPRETATION OF A HIGH SCHOOL SHOOTING WOULD BE AWESOME, ESP IF HANDLED IN PROSE ON UBERSITE. IF YOU SUCCESFULLY PULLED IT OFF, YOU'D BE THE FIRST ONE EVER. WHY DOESN'T ANYBODY EVER LISTEN TO WHAT I'M SAYING??!
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2008-04-14 14:48:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You really think this story is played out and done to death? I thought it was fairly original... ;( at least I've never seen anything similar.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-04-14 14:47:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
CHOKE ON A BOOK MARK, NERD.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-04-14 14:46:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
oh lordd
Post # 248 of "Really good Fiction" by Axolotl.
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2008-04-14 14:22:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It is forbidden to kill; therefore all murderers are punished unless they kill in large numbers and to the sound of trumpets.
-Voltaire
Submitted by Lib (user info) at 2008-04-14 13:48:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by ubetidid (user info) at 2008-04-14 13:32:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
this story has been done and done and done to death.
plus CNN will be airing the next one any day now...
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-04-14 12:53:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is good fiction. A lot of people attempt this and fail.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-04-14 12:12:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
interesting isn't it? I used to bowl with this kid that in my freshman year took a classroom hostage. He didn't end up shooting anyone, just stood the cops off for several hours and got us out of class for the day. kinda crazy though, used to bowl with him and then he suddenly pulls that shit?
they sent him to the loony bin, let him go ten years later and he offed himself in the parking lot of a convienence store or something.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2008-04-14 11:13:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well written. Exploring this topic from the shooter's perspective (and showing how he's been wronged) has been done pretty comprehensively, though I think you have plenty of room to pull a twist or two. I'd try exploring it in new ways. Like a musical, or interpretive dance.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2008-04-14 11:08:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Way to solve global warmings Bernice
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2008-04-14 10:54:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
lol Method where do you find this shit
Submitted by Titus (user info) at 2008-04-14 10:53:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I don't wanna go to school
Just wanna be a fool
Just wanna play video games
Everything else is really lame
Just wanna play video games
(I) Just wanna play video games
(I) Just wanna play video games
All the time and every day
Parents say it's fryin' my brain
Just because I can't remember my name
I just wanna play video games
All the time and every day
Just wanna play video games
Just wanna play video games
(I) Just wanna play video games
All the time and every day
Gamecube, Xbox, Playstation 2
Knew all about them as soon as they're new
I just wanna play video games
All the time and every day
Just wanna play video games (ya heard)
Just wanna play video games (every day)
Just wanna play video games (How'd ya know?)
All the time and every day
(Aw man)
We don't have school today
They say it's conference day
But everyone knows anyway
The teachers are at home playing video games
Just wanna play video games
Just wanna play video games
(I) Just wanna play video games
All the time and every day
(I) Just wanna play video games (ya heard)
(I) Just wanna play video games (every day)
Just wanna play video games (How'd ya know?)
All the time and every day
I don't wanna go to school
Just wanna play video games
I just wanna be a fool
Just wanna play video games
Everything else is really lame
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2008-04-14 10:46:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is your best work to date:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yUwVqL1xtVs
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-04-14 10:37:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Topical
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-04-14 10:36:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Jesus.
I'll be waiting for the follow up.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2008-04-14 10:32:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Based on a dream, recent school shootings, and other things.