Jeremy's Revenge (621 hits)
Category: Quotes & StoriesRating: 1.62 on 22 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by SkullBitingPassesTime (View user info) at 2008-04-14 15:48:51 EDT
http://www.ubersite.com/m/116077 Sam's Choice
http://www.ubersite.com/m/116097 Claire's Terror
Jeremy Bates took a long drag of his cigarette, stubbing into a ashtray. He peered through his binoculars into the residance across the street. He saw his best friend in a heated argument with his wife, both animating their thoughts wildly. His eyebrows pinched together, as sweat broke out across his brow. She would not have told him. Not yet. They were so close, she'd said so after their lastest incounter. He watched her now, face flushed with anger, shouting inaudibly. He tilted his head back, lighting up another cigarette, letting the memories of the last week to flood over him. They had met secretly, coupling frantically, pawing each other like animals. She had been amazing, one of the best. Vivid images flashed through his mind, of her heaving breasts, smooth skin in fluid motion as she rode him. They came together each time, explosions of pleasure, and desire. Then lying in each others arms they had talked. Talked until the sun came up, the thought of it warming Jeremy to his core.
This is what you do? Fuck your best friends wife, and then sit outside his house day dreaming of it? I've got to tell him soon. Sam.
The thought of his best friend jolted Jeremy out of his day dream, and back to his mindful watch.
I could go up there right now. Tell Sam that... What would I tell Sam? Hey Sam, how ya doin buddy? I'm currently fucking your wife, I thought I would tell you we're leaving. Your wife and me, Sam, we're in love.
Two hours slowly went by, and as Jeremy had just begun debating on leaving, the couple shuffled out the front.
What's goin' on here?
Jeremy watched as Sam and Claire made their way to the black sedan sitting by the curb. As Sam loaded what looked like luggage into the trunk, Jeremy raised the binoculars to Claire's face. Worry etched across her face, Jeremy's heart leapt into his throat. As they pulled away Jeremy started his car, he'd made it this far, and he'd be damned if he would lose her now. Putting it into gear, he pulled onto the road his mind set fierce.
The first couple of hours at the lake house, Jeremy watched and waited. Through his binoculars he could see them making love. They were wild, but he knew it was all an act. She had forsaken her love for Sam, for her love for him. A love that he was sure burned hotter, brighter, and with more passion then their seven year marriage. Jeremy watched in disbelief as Sam hit Claire over the her skull, blood darkly seeping out, coloring her sandy brown hair. As Jeremy watched, Sam efficiently hog tied his wife, picked her up and started off to the dock. Jeremy pulled a slick oily looking revolver out of his sholder holder, and after pressing six cartridges in, cocked the weapon. Making his way quietly, he stole into the darkness, and after Sam.
Oh shit, Oh shit. Not Claire, please God, not Claire. He loved her, that was for sure. How could Sam be so heartless? How, he knew his friend had some anger issues, but didnt think that he was capable of this.
Sam!
Claire's voice broke Jeremy's train of thought ,and he took off sprinting towards the dock. When he got to the dock, he didnt know what to think. Sam sat with his back against a large wooden pole, his face lifted to the night. Sam looked to be weeping.
Weeping? He just KILLED his wife. Killed Claire.
Claire! Jeremy was onto the dock in moments, Sam shifted his vision, mouth dangling open in surprise. A loud gutteral sound escaped Jeremy's lips as he swung the revolver to Sam. Two shots echoed into the night, and Sam fell mouth still open. Dropping the weapon Jeremy never missed a beat, running the length of the dock and jumping into the shadowy waters.
Claire, oh God Claire. Where are you? Where?
User Reviews
Submitted by theBarron (user info) at 2008-04-26 21:28:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Cool.
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2008-04-25 15:56:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
dude...
Submitted by sideshow (user info) at 2008-04-25 14:25:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Another wonderful story. I like how all these parts are from a different person's perspective, telling the same story with different pieces of information. What happens next? Please tell me!
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-16 03:42:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I keep meaning to read these, all at once.
I will.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-04-15 15:03:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Of course not.
There is nothing to see here.
These are not the nerds you are looking for.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-04-15 14:58:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm not trying to 'show' him anything Berg.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-04-15 14:56:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-04-15 14:42:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
My god you're a whiny little cunt. I give you some honest criticism based on an opinion and you jump right on my ass for thinking differently? What, think you deserved your streak? Fuck you.
---
WAY TO SHOW HIM.
Ratings only matter when showing people how much they don't matter.
EVERYone knows that.
SHEEESH.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-04-15 14:42:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
My god you're a whiny little cunt. I give you some honest criticism based on an opinion and you jump right on my ass for thinking differently? What, think you deserved your streak? Fuck you.
Submitted by moneyshotforyou (user info) at 2008-04-15 13:17:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Did Sam have a fucking baby or not?
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-04-15 12:55:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Cool. These are pretty good, though the caps + italics combo really pissed me off; totally unnecessary.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-04-15 11:38:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-04-15 10:01:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i've always liked stories told this way. I did a lot of perspective changes in my survivor series. good stuff.
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-04-15 01:08:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Interesting, reading the same story from three different points of view. I think I liked this one best, although reading it first might have colored my opinion. A little more proofreading would be time well spent.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-04-14 19:21:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
AND 3.
Nice work, fella.
Submitted by spyder882001 (user info) at 2008-04-14 19:20:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
muahahahaha
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2008-04-14 17:18:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is just SCREAMING for a "Fresh Prince of Bel-Air" ending. :)
Submitted by Lib (user info) at 2008-04-14 17:07:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by SkullBiter (user info) at 2008-04-14 16:31:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ok?
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2008-04-14 16:22:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
SO I PULLED OUT MY GUN!
1 GONNA KILL YOU BOTH
2 GONNA CAP SOME BITCH
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2008-04-14 16:21:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
See here R Kelly, if a midget gets involved or ANYONE mentions a fucking closet, you and I are going to have some words.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2008-04-14 16:13:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by MrsKitty (user info) at 2008-04-14 16:06:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I had a hamster named Claire once. She died, too. :(