The perfect dump. (290 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: -1.12 on 8 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Traxadron (View user info) at 2008-04-15 17:13:07 EDT
There were times when sitting on a toilet was a drain. It would happen twice a week and it would take years away along as it went down the porcelain toilet. I was young, but even then this matter bothered me everytime I had to do it.
Of all things man has come to invent, not much has been done in centuries in regards to asswiping!! Sure we got toilet paper that's softer than baby butt, and it smells nice and all, but it does nothing to cleanse my ass of fecal matter any more than a rag did back in the day. In a perfect world, every bathroom would have a sexy mature woman wiping your ass with a warm towel and then wash away the filth with water, spray some fumes at it and give you a candy, or a line of blow.
About few years ago, I was sure that I mastered a perfect technique of shooting out crap in a way that would not require more than a wipe to walk away from a blazing stool, a test wipe. And worked great, at school, home, work!! It was great. bathroom troubles were gone!!! I now knew how to take a sweet ass dump, blow a line and be on my way, within a minute!! No mature lady . Working on that.
But all this a few years ago, lately my stool has been naughty, last time I crapped my pants, damn detox diet played my asshole and misled me! And overall, shits been messy.
I miss tissue free days!! And bottom line, Kim is complaining about me not laying it on her chest straight like I used to!!
Fiber intake????
User Reviews
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2008-04-15 18:10:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-04-15 17:43:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-04-15 14:17:13 PDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Quality stuff.
Submitted by jasumthin (user info) at 2008-04-15 17:37:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
the end ruined it
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2008-04-15 17:17:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This was shit.
Geddit?
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-04-15 17:17:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Quality stuff.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-04-15 17:16:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i've decided i don't really need to read a post to rate it
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2008-04-15 17:14:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
not even mildly amusing.
Submitted by SkullBiter (user info) at 2008-04-15 17:14:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Was it when your parents dropped you off at the orphanage?